


A Hand in Holding Hands (Original Draft)

by SkaianRedeemer



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Ashen Romance, Caliginous Romance, Flushed Romance, Multi, Pale Romance, Troll Puberty, Weird Alien Shit, Xeno Culture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-12-23
Updated: 2011-12-23
Packaged: 2017-10-13 10:19:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 24
Words: 143,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/136167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkaianRedeemer/pseuds/SkaianRedeemer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Original Draft)</p><p>An Ashen fanfic.</p><p>No friendships. Ever. That's what Kanaya told her weeks prior, but Rose never really grasped the full of it until she found herself at the end of an Ashen crush. Now the Trolls are growing and the culture gap widening, the demon pounding on the door and the horrors whispering in ears. At the centre of it all: Rose, trying to stand on both sides of the shore: without magic, without guidance and without one of her closest friends thanks to the very gap she is trying to bridge. This fic is dedicated to the Alternian third wheel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Scratch the Fic

**Author's Note:**

> We're starting over, folks! A second draft will begin in January 2012, in a new story file (so sadly, bookmarking this one will not help. I'm sorry, but I didn't want to delete this archive of the original!). The link to the new draft is below.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who supported me during the first year. I hope to see you all in the new draft! If you're a new reader, the archives will remain intact. It's up to you to decide if you care to read one when we'll be coming back soon, better than ever!

[](http://archiveofourown.org/works/330885/chapters/533969)  


**> Begin again**

  


You discover to your surprise that the fic you have come looking for is actually the abandoned first draft, and that the new second draft can be found above, smelling of piney freshness, and whatnot. Of course, you are relieved to find that the rest of the original draft is still stored in the following, musty, dusty pages. What a relief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first run is over, the second began in January 2012, when A Hand in Holding Hands began its second draft, which in turn ended in October 2012, leading off into commentary. The first draft will remain here, more-or-less untouched, for posterity. I want to thank everyone for their support during the initial run, and I hope you'll stick with me when we start anew in the new year, better than ever.
> 
> Note that the new draft will be a new story file on AO3, so I'm afraid bookmarking this one won't help. I don't want to flush the old stats, but I also don't want to flush the old draft! It seems better to keep it together. I hope I don't lose anyone in the shift!
> 
> For those looking to know when the fic starts over, but aren't willing to leave it up to spotting it in the recent updates, I've hastily prepared two solutions. Both of these will update the next time the fic does. Unfortunately, I do mean "hastily" and bit lack a certain decorative touch: it's 4am on the 23rd, I am officially out of free time before the holidays, and I've never used Tumblr in my life. Renovations perhaps to come.
> 
>  
> 
> [Tumblr](http://skaianr.tumblr.com/)  
>  
> 
> I will have some time to respond to any remaining comments over the next few days, so don't hesitate to get in touch with me. Thanks again to all, and I hope to see you in the next draft.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic has a second draft: this one has been closed! I even made a nice redirect page but does anyone notice? No, TV Tropes just sends them here. Read whichever version you prefer, the link to the second is below:
> 
> [  
> ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/330885/chapters/533969)
> 
> [ **> Begin again**](http://archiveofourown.org/works/330885/chapters/533969)
> 
> Anyway, people-who-are-actually-trying-to-read-this-draft, sorry for the repetition. Last time, I promise. Enjoy your read!

Sealed inside a large metal box, with bare stone or metal shock-cold under every footstep, no chance to live. The hum of electronics and machinery was like another entrapping layer, that pressed down on them in every moment, but even "moments" had lost meaning: sputtering and choking in the strangling grasp of a place that knew no time. Rose tried to embrace it, because pondering the dismal trap was a distraction from the snake-whisper at the top of her sylladex. She had set them at the top of her tree and stacked everything else between, in hopes that the sheer nuisance of having to pick everything else up would deter her from picking at the root. Twice, so far, it had. The Thorns of Oglogoth lay buried. She kept the Quills of Echidna in her Strife Deck now. Much less powerful, much less dangerous: far more acceptable for polite company. Not that she could call them that.

She was mostly sure it had been two weeks since they had arrived in the Troll's session. Time there was a matter of ticks on a wall, and she had not started those until a few days after the fact. She felt reasonably sure "five" but Jade thought "six" and Dave was away every time the question came to mind. Dave was always away, and every time he left, Rose felt a sinking feeling in her gut. She wondered if the others caught it as well: if John wondered or even noticed when Dave slipped quietly out of the abandoned lab. She wondered if Jade had bothered to read into his coy wink and nonsensical "Just going for a walk under the stars," when there were, after all, no stars. Did the Trolls notice that every time he slipped away, Aradia would unemotionally unplug herself from her computer and follow a minute behind? Likely, but if any knew what it implied they hid it well. Instead, these sudden disappearances given rise to a barely coded, tame innuendo, where "going outside" was the unofficial go-word for a private date. Sollux and Feferi, Karkat and Terezi: a walk under the cloak of timeless void and imminent death to pretend there was some beauty in which to conspire. For Aradia and Equius it was to admit there was a foulness in which to bicker and snip at one another, in good ambience. It served.

But Rose could see the doom, and Dave just had the better angle. She knew that there was only one reason both the Knight and Maid of Time would have found some common purpose on that asteroid. The lab was almost outside of time, but the demon had been born within, and had a ways to go to escape and find them. Every time Dave came back, Rose knew it was for only a short time. He and Aradia were only there to watch until, again, they saw that their efforts had failed. They would sit around until the first of them died or maybe, jaded, the sixth, the seventh, or the fourteenth, when they would slip away again and buy them all another day. Rose felt trapped. She had put the Thorns aside, on strong urging, but without them she felt helpless, and wondered if her hesitation in using them was responsible for the demon’s continued success, why Dave never stayed more than an hour. Sometimes she pondered the opposite, and wondered how she would truly behave in face of the demon. Would she call on the Dark Gods in a moment of panic or desperation? And if not, was that the reason the sixteen of them were never together?

"Okay, now you've got to admit that the pinnacle of 80s filmmaking was _Ghostbusters II_. I mean, come on."

"Egbert, you scrape of alien fecal matter on the boot of Fate’s ugliest leg, stop trying to piss me off. I've been over your archives like, twice, and it's obvious that the pinnacle of your human 80s filmmaking was John Travolta's hit sequel _Staying Alive_."

Not that being together was some kind of joy. Beyond John and Karkat hogging the television they had brought over in a captchacard, there were times when simply being around the Trolls was more than Rose could bear. But it was impossible to stay cooped up with Jade forever, and she had gotten to know them for better or for worse. There were some highlights. Feferi was nice to talk to, and Roses's talks with Kanaya more than once went long into what most of them scheduled as "night" for the Humans, "day" for the Trolls. The Witch and Sylph of Space had managed to string together a facsimile Derse and Prospit to let them go back to sleep without interruption from the Gods, considering Rose's past history, but Rose felt safest chatting with her friends. But there were also the secret rules to remember at all times when dealing with the Trolls. These went far beyond the explicit rules Karkat had set in a long, shouted lecture upon their arrival ("Nepeta hunts an hour a day. Any consorts or pets loose are forfeit. And speaking of food, if anyone leaves any fucking lunch lying around I will personally find you and shove it down your oesophagus myself, and once you've _had_ your warning..."). These rules were something already understood by the Trolls, and were at no point fully explained to the humans.

Vriska and Aradia were never to be unaccompanied by more than three persons. Eridan and Sollux never with less than two. Gamzee must have an escort every time he leaves the main room - something it did not take Rose long to discover had to do with the sopor facility they had set up in a lab. Don't go into Equius' room, "you wouldn't understand." It was hard to tell where the well-meaning gestures began and where they crossed the line to "overwrought." Rose also suspected there was some "rule" related to Aradia and Sollux, as Karkat, Terezi and Feferi had a habit of checking their hacker every time Aradia made her intermittent appearances. There was definitely another rule that had twice made Terezi intercept Feferi with meaningless chores when Fef had been en route to talk with Aradia with a trembling, nervous look on her face. But the rules were changing even for the Trolls.

"Are they older, maybe?" Rose had asked Karkat the day after they were positive what was going on.

"What the hell kind of question is that? We're all the same age!" He had not really been in a chatting mood. She was interrupting his lunch, but she had figured Karkat was not going to be in a better chatting mood at any other time of the day.

"That's why I'm asking you." Do you have any idea when each meteor went to after your Reckoning?"

"Yeah: the same batch of grubs. Maybe you should go ask their Mother Grub who hit the ground first? Oh wait, she's been dead for sweeps."

Rose had often wondered just how old Dave was going to get thanks to his constant time travelling, ever since he had started going to John for shaving cream (which their Heir suspiciously had in bulk). The Trolls, on the other hand, were not so subtle about their aging. Rose had caught Eridan in a fight with Karkat when his voice began to warp hideously between his usual tone and a deep, raspy one as though possessed. Karkat, with an astoundingly casual shrug of his shoulder, called it "post-wriggling penultimate moult" and returned to John to pick up watching _Xanadu_.

Eridan and Tavros were the biological victims. Rose could not think of two more opposed to be suffering so in kind. First there was the voice changes. They had progressed from a rasp to an undercurrent hiss the other Trolls did not seem to hear, but gave the human prey animals the ventriloquist impression that the speaker was whispering from another direction. Beyond that, they were growing. Worse, as Kakat implied and to their embarrassment, they were shedding. Karkat's inner neat-freak soon set to work, using a broom as a baton and whip combined to get them to clean up after themselves.

The itching was terrible, and it gave rise to the next change: a deep hormonal one that brought out sharp bursts of rage. Tavros mostly buried his if he felt them at all. Rose saw one burst through when a moulting itch hit a patch of live skin trapped under his robot leg, and it took Equius almost an hour to get it loose for him. Surprisingly enough, these violent waves, if not the changes in general, had begun to attract moirail-like attentions from the other trolls in curious, pale flirtations Rose was stretched to recognize. Gamzee had offered the unusually-furious Tavros a free night’s rest on his horn pile, Karkat had silenced one of Eridan’s outbursts with a smack to the head and a series of threats that sounded almost genuinely concerned.

The new bodies emerging from the moult were surprising. Overall, they kept their basic shape: they would just as much resemble their teen selves as any human. But there were changes if one was willing to look. They were larger by proportion to humans, and more built. With clothes on there less to make out, but intimate living conditions bred a certain disregard for certain decencies, especially when one’s lower body was constantly under mechanical repair. The skin on Tavros' bare chest met at sharper angles and appeared, on the surface, sublimely changed in a way that implied physical armour. It was clear that Rose was seeing her allies transform into apex predators.

But the worst was Vriska. While she still engaged in a healthy and active dose of spiteful jabs with Terezi and a worrying tail of John, her primary circle was still her ex-kismesis and Tavros. Seeing her circle go through this sort of puberty had a symbiotic effect on her dreamself body. She too began to grow, shift in voice and, when her imagination got the better of her, itch from time to time. While Sollux lisped that he was thankful he wouldn't be "trapped in this stupid wriggling body for the rest of my life," it was clear that Vriska's situation was somehow _off_. As Rose had only seen adult trolls in two dimensions – on computer screens and movie posters – she could not put her finger on it, but Karkat was perfectly happy to put his boot through it instead.

"Hey moron," he had said, clapping Vriska upside the head with the butt end of his Broom of Office. "Just because you're making shit up as you go doesn't mean you don't have to clean the fuck up after yourself. Eridan! Tell your boyfriend that he either starts growing like a girl or he has to clean up like the rest of us."

Vriska had blushed up like a Christmas light and the next day had changed drastically. Her shedding, as Karkat had implied, stopped entirely. The appearance of armour was gone, but the muscles had not, and she had shot up almost a foot overnight. Rose also got that Vriska's dreamself had replaced her teeth with a new set of not entirely bone: the new ones caught the light at some angles and looked menacingly sharp. Vriska did not hide that she was growing new finger nails as well, though the word "claws" might be more correct, given the way she groomed them.

Rose had discussed the change with Kanaya. It had been one of their long nights, and they traded questions about Troll and Human gender roles, stereotypes and prejudices, especially considering the Troll's vestigial sexes. Any unpleasantness evaporated over time - it tended to with Kan. Kanaya told Rose that she had no doubt that Vriska was already planning to get back at Karkat, even if she had decided to take his advice.

“I don’t suppose lashing out at your leader is exactly standard procedure,” she had said, sitting to Kanaya’s left as her friend typed, alone in the main lab. Rose sat atop the desk, one leg swinging back and forth.

“It is probably closer than any human equivalent. On the other hand, Karkat understands that we’re under a lot of stress right now. Some relief would be a help.”

“Lashing out is relief?" Rose said with a smile.

Kanaya half-grinned, on the opposite side of her face, in hopes of maintaining her usual look as the neutral auxiliatrix. “Perhaps.”

But the morning did not see any sort of revenge ploy. Karkat could be found curled up, as usual, on the couch. He had started the morning straight off with John before the rest of them were even up, watching, god help them, _Zardoz_. Jade was in one side of the room, playing games with Nepeta and their growing collection of toys and dolls, which Nepeta found endlessly fascinating. Kanaya was still in her room. Everyone else, including Dave and Aradia, were watching the three pubescent trolls scream at one another against the north wall. They were the laboratory’s surprise alarm clock that morning, and had a dead zone about them of at least five feet.

“Listen, you little pus-sucking _worm_! If you don’t open your damn mouth and give me an _answer…_ ”

Eridan stuck his hand toward Vriska. “vris, maybe if you’d come and turn that rage somewwhere productive...”

Rose squirmed. Eridan must be taking this personally if he was busting out his tone. All the Trolls had a tone – a sort of throaty, heavily accented warp in the voice they used when they were impassioned in their own distinct ways. Whether it was voluntary or biological Rose did not know, but it ran ruin with the undercurrent hiss.

Vriska pushed Eridan aside with a jab from her finger. “Shut up, Eridan, if you were worth shouting at, you’d have known a loooooooong time ago. Tavros, d8mmit, open your mouth or I’ll show you what productive rage looks like!”

She decided to act on her threat immediately and hoisted him, robot legs and all, an inch off the ground. She held him there for almost five seconds, before he proved too heavy and she was forced to drop him to the audible protest of the floor.

“uH, gEEZE VRISKA, i REALLY DIDN'T THINK THIS WOULD BOTHER YOU SO MUCH.”

“Spine, Travros! Don’t you dare open your mouth again unless you’ve grown some _nerve_!”

“I…”

Vriska, was still like a trainwreck in her explosions, where the outbursts of someone like Karkat had long since become routine. It was really hard to look away, especially when Vriska was spouting off oxymoronic demands at the top of her lungs with absolutely no sign of self-awareness. But to Rose's surprise, only the humans seemed to be interested in the fight after too long. Karkat had turned back to his film (he had an oddball respect for Sean Connery, red diaper costume notwithstanding), Nepeta had never really left her game and Gamzee outright wandered over to his computer within the fight’s perimeter to start whatever constituted his digital routine. Feferi watched the fight out of the corner of her eye, fingers twitching. At one point Rose thought she heard Sollux say “Don’t…” but Feferi composed herself and that was the end of it.

Eridan attempted to interpose himself between Vriska and Tavros of them, which not easy given how little ground Vriska had allowed. “Mindfang, why don’t you just—”

Vriska’s off-hand shot out toward his neck and lifted him into the air. She made a point not to meet his eyes. “Didn’t I tell you to piss off about the FLARP names?” she said in a whisper. The hissing undercurrent that ran through all three of their voices was suddenly worse. Rose saw Jade, Dave and John shudder as she heard Vriska as though whispering into her ear from over her shoulder. A small trickle of purple blood seeped into Eridan's scarf and down Vriska’s pinky where it hit exposed flesh.

“Cut it out!” Jade said from one side of the room. Vriska ignored her, and Rose instinctively checked with John, but there seemed to be nothing he could do. Karkat was indifferent. True, John’s pull with the Trolls was limited without Karkat’s backing, but his pull with Vriska might have just been enough…

“Hey, Tavros,” Vriska said as Eridan swung a wild kick at her. “If you’re just gonna sit there with your mouth shut, hold your head still. I just had the 8est idea.”

Tavros winced at her request. He unintentionally lowered his horns, which suited Vriska’s needs admirably. She slapped a hand on his head to hold him there, and tried to raise Eridan up toward a horn-tip.

“Hey!” Rose snapped.

Rose never did wonder why the three of them were up so early, though if she had, she might have thought twice about doing what she did. She should have given more thought to what exactly they were fighting about, or imagined what might be going through their heads, but she did not. In hindsight, more than anything else she wished she had kept a better memory of her and Kanaya’s eighteenth pesterchum conversation. It had been another quid pro quo conversation, a back and forth exchange of cultural data in hopes of stripping any future conversations of wary misunderstandings, exactly like the one Rose was about to make. But she did not, and instead she stormed up to Vriska.

“Drop him, Vriska.”

Vriska reacted very slowly, taking her hand first off of Tavros’ head and making a show of a dramatic slow turn towards Rose. She lowered Eridan for need of his weight, but did not release him. She took up so much time doing so that Rose was able to take advantage of it.

“Sit down, Tavros,” Rose said, trying to be calm.

“Rose, I don’t really think—”

“Tavros: Sit.”

He did as he was bid, walking away and taking his seat carefully at the side of the room. Rose did not watch him go. She had to keep her eye on Vriska, even though it meant breaking another one of the unspoken rules. “Never look Vriska in the eye. Never.” Vriska tossed back her hair with obvious disdain. Rose kept eye contact.

“What did you say?” Vriska asked.

Eridan decided to throw in his own chip. “Don’t…” he gurgled. “Don’t need your help here.”

“Quiet,” Rose muttered. Eridan’s insistence that she was his kismesis (something she had long realized was not an exclusive classification) had never really been more irritating. Vriska stepped forward and leaned over Rose to emphasize her increased height, a sneer on her face that showed a full set of her terrifying new teeth. Rose was not entirely sure how much of Vriska’s new appearance was genetic and how much was just her gruesome imagination, but there was everything unpleasant about standing in the shadow of a would-be alpha Troll.

Rose lowly raising her hand to Vriska’s face, pointed to the floor. As she did, she double-checked her hand. _Do not draw your needlewands_ , she thought in a mantra. Vriska had a quarter of the echeladder on her. Anything short of the Thorns would be absurd. _Don’t tempt Fate while she still has her dice._ ““Put... him... down.”

Rose did not know it, but now everyone was looking at her. Karkat had set himself in a pondering look from the back of the couch. Nepeta stalled in mid-play, a plastic dinosaur dangling from one hand. Gamzee even looked away from his YouTube Poop. Kanaya had finally arrived. She was completely absorbed, and leaned with her arms crossed as she blinked away sleep. Vriska started laughing, and intentionally or otherwise, her grip on Eridan tightened. Rose’s psychological mind could not help but wonder if having Eridan at her mercy had re-lit some caliginous flame in her heart. With Vriska it was hard to tell, beyond that things could shift at any moment.

Rose set her own teeth, and pointing to Eridan, she slammed her hand down in the air. “Now!”

Vriska’s expression shifted from confidence to surprise in an instant, but she recovered, and shrugged. “…Fine,” she said, as though it were no concern of her own. “Gamzee!” He took to his feet, face still stuck in a grin, and Vriska tossed Eridan into him. With one last look at Rose, she tossed her hair back again with a harrumph, and walked away.

Rose caught her breath at once and, wishing she had never even gotten out of bed, turned to leave, but John caught her eye with a not-at-all subtle wave of his arms. He pointed back to Eridan, was was seething at her with black hatred. Rose caught John's meaning at once.

“Eridan,” she called, exhausted. “Come on, let’s have that looked at.”

Eridan reached reflexively to his wounds. “What? Why?”

Rose tried – very hard, to limited results – to sound honest. “Because I’m concerned.”

Eridan took a moment to really take this in, before he finally said: “…aw, man…” John gave her a thumbs up, and she rolled her eyes as her deflated, would-be kismesis limped over to her. But it was hard to avoid the looks of the others, as they returned to their work. Stranger was Tavros, who did not return to work, but rather watched her with a curious look that only just began at gratitude. Eridan muttered darkly about how he had been upstaged, but he seemed a touch less honest about it. Vriska simply sat at her keyboard, drawing circles above her desk and muttering. Kanaya watched Rose the closest of all.

It would be a day and a half before anyone told her she had just done the clubbed equivalent of walking in and kissing them each hard on the lips.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pardon the black text in the pesterlog: AO3 is doing something odd (November 24th 2012) and I'm not sure how to fix it. I came to this old draft looking for an older way I formatted things and accidentally saved my fiddling, and now look at this mess.

> \-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] \--
> 
> GA: Rose  
>  GA: What Is The Precise Nature Of Your Relationship With The John Human  
> TT: Uh  
>  TT: Yes, hello.  
>  TT: Nice to see you again, no I'm fine, how are you?  
> GA: There Is No Need To Point Out That I Am Being Brusque In My Greetings Through Use Of Sarcasm  
>  GA: Doing So Was Completely Intentional  
> TT: You figure it's a good idea to start our eighteenth conversation by immediately asking me intimate personal details?   
> GA: I Was Hoping We Could Talk About Several Items Of Cultural Import That Have Been Gnawing At Me  
>  GA: And That By Approaching The Subject Directly I Would Dispel Any Later Awkwardness Caused By The Nature Of My Questions  
>  GA: And Yours In Turn To Me  
>  GA: Also I Must Admit To A Certain Amount Of Cold Feet  
> TT: And you chose to do this while I was engaged with two Giclopsi and a ten-storey Lesser Shoggoth wearing a foot-tall princess hat?   
> GA: Essentially  
> TT: Why?   
> GA: Arent You Still Typing  
> TT: ...  
>  TT: All right.  
>  TT: What did you want to ask?  
> GA: Several Things If You Have The Time  
> TT: I suppose. The Shoggoth's pustules keep bursting into Garnet Imps and their defence level is frustrating.   
> GA: I Would Like To Think My Conversations Do Not Have To Be Accompanied By Macabre Busywork To Keep Your Interest At This Point  
> TT: You're right, I apologize.   
> GA: Its Fine  
>  GA: Several Of The Topics I Would Like To Broach Run The Risk Of Provoking Similar Insult  
>  GA: Though Such Insult Would Be Likewise Unintentional  
>  GA: So Long As We Keep In Mind That We Ask In The Name Of Mutual Understanding There Is Really No Harm Whatsoever  
>  GA: If Thats All Right  
> TT: Questions like whether or not Egbert is my boyfriend.   
> GA: Is That The Label You Would Use  
> TT: No, no, wait.  
>  TT: Start over.  
>  TT: What is it, precisely, that you're trying to ask?  
> GA: This Particular Question Pertains To My Confusion Over Your Team's Mutual Non-Biological Relationships  
>  GA: As I Understand You Have Known One Another For Quite Some Time  
> TT: Yes, several years.   
> GA: Precisely  
> TT: ...  
>  TT: This appears to be one of those situations where I am unable to understand a high-concept thought because of a basic misunderstanding.  
>  TT: I will attempt to circumvent by answering an different question in hopes it illuminates the issue.  
>  TT: If I had to ascribe a label, I would call John, Jade and Dave my closest friends.  
>  TT: Well, prior to the apocalypse, I suppose. The qualifier has lost some meaning.  
> GA: So You Do Not Cast Romantic Aspirations On Any Of Them  
> TT: No.  
>  TT: Did I or one of them give some impression to the contrary?  
> GA: No Your Relationships Just Seem Too Tightly Bound By My Reading  
> TT: Perhaps I should turn the question back on you?  
>  TT: How would you define your relationship with, say...  
>  TT: terminallyCapricious.  
> GA: With Gamzee  
> TT: Yes.  
>  TT: I gauge your relationship is not romantic, and that is the context in which I would use "friend."  
> GA: Ah, I See Our Discrepancy  
>  GA: You Are Correct In That My Relationship With Tc Is Not Romantic But I Would Not Call Him My Friend  
> TT: Perhaps I have selected a bad example?   
> GA: No  
>  GA: Well Yes Gamzee Is A Bad Example In That He Would Be Happy To Call All Of Us Friends But Allow Me To Explain  
>  GA: Trolls Do Not Form Friendships  
>  GA: It Is Not An Relationship We Form Naturally Except In A Few Genetic Aberrations  
>  GA: To Want Friends Is More A Form Of Troll Disease  
> TT: No friends?  
>  TT: Ever?  
> GA: That Is Correct  
> TT: But  
> GA: What Is It  
> TT: I'm sorry, I am simply trying to absorb this.  
>  TT: If I may say so in the interest of scientific neutrality, I may be experiencing a reaction akin to yours on learning Humans only have a single romantic relationship.  
> GA: You Find The Difference That Fundamental  
> TT: Yes, certainly.  
>  TT: Friendship is a key relationship in human culture.  
>  TT: Alternating position with familial depending on specific culture and generation.  
>  TT: Neither of which you experience.  
> GA: Correct  
>  TT: At all?  
> GA: As I Said  
>  GA: No  
> TT: Not even for your... and now I am at a loss of words... for your co-Sburb players?   
> GA: Sgrub  
>  GA: And No  
>  GA: Well Technically Arachnidsgrip Was Once My Moirail As Far As Relationships Are Concerned  
>  GA: But I Fear That Romance Has Long Since Reached Its End  
> TT: What word would you use to describe the rest?  
>  TT: I'm sorry, I've started my inquiries out of turn.  
> GA: No I Understand  
>  GA: As For My Allies Karkat Remains My Leader And Thus Deserving Of Highest Respect  
>  GA: And I Suppose I Have A Lingering Sense Of Feudal Duty Towards Cuttlefishculler  
>  GA: But By And Large I Suppose I Consider The Others Merely Acquaintances Or Allies  
>  GA: Under Normal Circumstances Our Mutual Relation Would Break Off Once Our Mission  
>  GA: Or Insurrection  
>  GA: Had Ended  
> TT: What you're going through is hardly normal circumstances.   
> GA: Certainly But You Cannot Expect Generations Of Social Structure To Collapse Immediate Under Unusual Weight  
>  GA: There May Be Some Trolls Capable Of Forming Friendships Such As Tc But I Do Not Expect Such A Change Within Our Generation  
>  GA: The Social Imperative Of Romantic Relationships Over Non Has Extended For Too Long For That  
> TT: Does this have something to do with kismeses killing one another and limiting the pool of potential mates?   
> GA: Yes Exactly  
>  GA: You Are Already Grasping It  
>  GA: If It Helps Your Visuaulization I Personally Have Never Felt Friend-Feelings Toward Another Troll  
> TT: So your only interpersonal relationships are the formal ones you form for romantic purposes?   
> GA: Essentially Though Formative Relationships Exist  
>  GA: Prospective Matesprits Moirails Etc  
> TT: Yes, like the first few dates, or casual dating, on Earth.  
>  TT: I believe I understand though I admit to having a great deal of trouble wrapping my head around it.  
>  TT: But this is curious. You have several times insinuated that you hoped for a chance to extend our personal relationship in the future.  
>  TT: Which I reciprocated.  
>  TT: Am I now to understand that you said this with ulterior motives?  
> GA: Pardon  
>  GA: Your Mood Appears Soured  
>  GA: Have I Provoked  
> TT: Seeing as how all Troll relationships extend into romantic branches!  
> GA: Well Certainly  
>  GA: Wait  
>  GA: I Believe I Am Coming Understand The Source Of Your Anger  
> TT: THAT is the  
>  TT: oiewrfw  
>  TT: THAT is the IMPS!  
> GA: Well Yes I Also Had Trouble Restraining My Anger While Being Dogpiled  
>  GA: But All The Same You Made The Misassumption That My Proposal Was Intended Towards Friendship  
>  GA: I'm Very Sorry  
>  GA: That Was Never  
>  GA: Ah  
>  GA: My Intention  
>  GA: As I Truly Hope You Can Now See  
>  GA: Rose  
> TT: I  
>  TT: Back.  
>  TT: Give me a moment.  
> GA: I Understand  
>  GA: Your Screen Is Visibly Unusable  
> TT: Yes but also to gather my thoguhtad.  
>  TT: *Thoughts.  
>  TT: Why haven't I learned to carry a wiping cloth with me?  
>  TT: No, I feel I'm the one who should apologize.  
>  TT: We've both just been the victims of the misapprehensions you were worried of at the start of this conversation.  
>  TT: But I'm clearly the one more at fault.  
> GA: How So  
> TT: Beyond the immediate rude reaction?  
>  TT: For which I am quite ashamed and beg your forgiveness.  
> GA: No Offense Is Taken  
>  GA: I Did Say I Expected Such Misunderstandings  
>  GA: By Making These Trips Here We Avoid Making Them At A More Critical Moment  
> TT: All the same. But more than that:  
>  TT: Your assessment that I could be a valid partner in a romantic partnership is far more valid than my baseless assessment that you could be a partner in a human friendship.  
>  TT: Pardon, that sounded callous.  
> GA: Do You Think So  
> TT: I do. I insinuated that you are not capable of friendship.   
> GA: At The Risk Of Sounding Rude Through Repetition  
>  GA: I Am Not  
> TT: So you say.  
>  TT: All the same, love, hate, restraint and support are things human are capable of.  
>  TT: My goodness. I feel like I could not be approaching this more clinically.  
>  TT: Your... and now I cannot say "friendship"... Our conversations over the past few days have meant a great deal to me.  
>  TT: If you were/are... uh...  
>  TT: honestly offering a chance at a relationship, I would be honoured to seek some more mature relationship with you in the future.  
>  TT: If you can give me time to settle naturally into a quadrant.  
> GA: Of Course  
>  GA: I Had Never Assumed Otherwise  
>  GA: In Truth I Was Afraid You Might Not Be Capable Of Some Quadrants In A Reverse Of Our Current Discussion  
> TT: Possible. The actions seem valid but I cannot vouch for the emotional response.   
> GA: I Would Certainly Hope You Dont Feel Pressured To Do So  
> TT: Not at all. Your perspective on the relationship hasn't changed, and I have never felt pressured before.   
> GA: I Suppose  
>  GA: I Must Confess That This Is A Great Emotional Relief  
>  GA: You Had Frightened Me For A Moment  
> TT: I'm sorry, it is not a very good new beginning for our yet-unqualified relationship.  
>  TT: My Turn  
>  TT: Erm.  
> GA: Heh  
> TT: Earlier I used the word "honoured" to describe my feelings, but this seems so...  
>  TT: Emotionally detached?  
> GA: Perhaps But Do You Really Feel A Need To Assign An Emotion At Present  
>  GA: After All If We Do Feel Close Enough To Form A Tighter Bond In The Future There Are Four Different Regions In Which To Form That Bond  
>  GA: One Of Which Varies Immensely In Nature Depending On The Kismesissitude It Coaches  
> TT: I see. It felt it important to not be rude from the beginning, you understand.   
> GA: Naturally  
>  GA: And If I May Ask You A Related Question In Turn  
> TT: Go ahead.   
> GA: Your Closest Friends  
>  GA: What Word Would You Use To Describe Your Feelings Towards Them  
> TT: "Love"  
> GA: Would You  
>  GA: Hm  
> TT: What is it?   
> GA: I Had Simply Truly Realized How Fundamental The Bond Was To You  
>  GA: If You Feel It Deserves So Lofty A Verb  
>  GA: And Yet It Is Completely Alien To Me  
> TT: I have a similar misunderstanding of kismesissitude.  
>  TT: It is a hurdle we'll all overcome in the end.  
>  TT: I certainly hope none of our differences will strike as an obstacle. Especially not between you and I.  
> GA: Yes  
>  GA: Thank You  
> TT: I would like to ask you another question if that is all right, but I fear there will be a delay.  
>  TT: The Shoggoth's transparent core is about to burst.  
>  TT: And I am about to discover what horrible prize I will find admit the grist.  
>  TT: With any luck it will simply expel another Ogre but I have seen far worse from these piñatas.  
> GA: I Understand  
>  GA: I Once Discovered A Greater Rust Shoggoth Concealing A Lesser Containing A Gicops  
>  GA: I Insisted My Companions Bathe Afterwards From All The Mess  
>  GA: They Were Not Cooperative  
> TT: I can only imagine the smell.   
> GA: I Advise You Do Not.   
> TT: Noted.  
>  TT: Here we go.  
>  TT: ...Damn.  
>  TT: Excuse me.  
> GA: See You Soon

* * *

"roz wwe need to talk"

Rose jumped a foot and, seeing as how she was on her bed at the time, bounced for a bit in a way too comedic to match her shock. It took her a moment to realize Eridan was not actually in her room. Of course he wasn't: the doors were all fingerprint locked. Unfortunately, it only helped to a point: the humans had only been granted a section of Aradia's part of the lab, and so the transportalizer had been left unlocked and anyone could march up to the door and start knocking at any hour of the night. Rose had expected him all day, since Kanaya had filled her in on the details of what she had truly done when she had confronted Vriska, Eridan and Tavros in the lab two days prior. And if any of them was going to interrupt her in the middle of the night, it was going to be Eridan.

"Eridan," she shouted, "I don't care! Can't you come back in the morning?"

"No way Roz!" he replied. The puberty-granted vocal undercurrent made it sound eerily like Eridan was sitting in Rose's lap, which was more than she could stand while still in bed. She jumped to her feet more than a little squirming just to get the feeling off out of her mind. He continued: "I don't see why I should have to keep to your schedule when you could just as easily keep to mine."

"Oh, we're making a great first impression, aren't we Eridan?" Rose muttered. She briefly considered changing out of her pyjamas: her old once-purposefully now-unintentionally mutilated Squiddles t-shirt paired with a set of old flannel bottoms. Eridan pounded again on the door, and Rose decided taht any second spent not curbing Eridan was just going to make things progressively worse and worse. She went to the door and hit the button to slide it up.

"What?" she demanded.

"Well, uh..." he said. He was still fully dressed, fairly standard for the Trolls, but had been completely taken aback by her prompt response. He proceeded to provide further elucidation: "kinda... embarasin"

It might have only been the fact that he had interrupted a rare pleasant night's rest, but Rose was too cross to care. "You're here about Vriska," she said, trying not to sound like she was going to enjoy the taste as she chewed him out for it.

"Oh, you know?" he said, suddenly eager. "Wow, okay, then we can get right on it! Come on, we can talk strategy."

Rose shut the door on him. It rolled down on its rotors and Eridan, scrambling, caught it with his hand. Eridan's muscles flexed and the door halted with a metallic shriek that ran through the walls in every direction. Eridan then fought a howling grind as the gears pushed back against him, to no avail. Rose jammed the up button, and the whole affair slammed into the roof faster than she had ever seen it manage.

"Eridan!" she snapped, not that it mattered as he did not seem at all perturbed. She really had to keep in mind that behind his whining, Eridan was just as top-echeladder and mature as Vriska.

"Rose, are you okay?" called Jade through their shared wall.

"I'm fine Jade, go back to bed!" Rose turned back to Eridan and, seeing him trying to cross into her room, slammed a hand into the doorframe. "If the next words out of your mouth aren't 'I'll get Equius,' they had better be fast ones."

Seeing Rose enraged at him seemed to remind Eridan exactly why he had came, and a hand crept up to his mouth. He began to chew at his nails, a deeply tranced look coming over his face. "Roz, you've really got to see things my way here. im completely fuckin helpless don't you see? Weren't you ever been in love as a grub?"

Rose lowered her guard slightly. "How do you mean?"

"I mean your first love is like the one that never goes away. It could be a sweep and whenever you're in the room with them it's like it's the first time all over again. It's like when you first met them. They never looked so fuckin beautiful like they do then, and you just want to sweep them of their feet."

He could not have looked less like a heartbroken teddy bear. "Oh my god," Rose whispered.

"Yeah, I know," he said.

Rose did not finish her sentence out loud. _Oh my god. Poor Feferi,_ she thought. "So I guess getting throttled and almost impaled on a teammate has made you all hot and bothered for our blue-blooded friend?"

"Exactly. I can't stop thinking about the day we met and she sank my ship, this fuckin landwweller just sailing up and sinking me like it wwas the simplest thing in the wworld and laughin like a bloody hellmurderin lusus beast. That's when I knew we'd be destined for a rivalry of legends."

"And then she broke up with you," Rose summarized, turning her back on him to pull out a proper set of clothes.

"Well... yeah. So?" He followed her in and rested a hand on the foot of her bed so he could lean to his comfort. "I figure with your brains we can come up with a plan to kick her once we've got her down and she and I'll be back locking swords before you know it!"

Rose was absolutely certain even kismesis was not supposed to be this creepy. _And speaking of creepy..._ "Turn around, would you?"

"Wha?"

She held up her clothes with one hand and gestured a spin at him with the other. He frowned.

"Roz, I'm not interested in your gross Human bits. I'm here to talk about Mindfang."

"Look," Rose said, "if you want my advice, stop calling her that and then _turn around_."

To her relief, he did, though that did not stop him from complaining. "Look, it's not my fault I keep calling her by her FLARP name. I didn't know her real name for about a full fucking sweep, all right? That's a long time."

"Doesn't it bother you that you're turning to a 'gross Human' for advice?"

"Well," he said, shuffling his feet. "I sort of figure that she's a landdweller and so are you, and you've had more water in your past than the rest of them... 'cept Gam but can you imagine?"

"Flattered."

"Ugh," said the muffled voice of Jade through a wall and shouting into her pillow. "Eridan, leave Rose alone and go to _bed_!"

"It's all right, Jade," Rose said, pulling on the rest of her purple dress to complete her rush. "We were just leaving. C'mon, you," she added, grabbing his arm. At a loss at how to protect her door without being able to close it, she reached into her sylladex and packed it with a heavy stone artefact left over from the game. With a doubled pace, Rose headed toward the transporalizer.

"Isn't there some less destructive way you could tell Vriska you dislike her?" Rose asked as they walked.

"Clearly you humans aren't romantics."

"Not really," she admitted, "but I have a vested interest in us surviving to meet Jack Noir and not killing each other first."

"roz i'm on my fuckin knees here" he said, and to her surprise he actually did kneel. "I really need this to keep myself sane, you don't know what it's like to sit back and realize you've done nothing but fuck over all your chances and... you're just walking away, aren't you?" He had to jog to catch up.

"The way I see it, Eridan," Rose said, not looking at him any more. "You and Vriska have both done a perfect job of alienating everyone else in your lives. You truly are made for one another, and _clearly_ you don't need my help. So, yes," she said, stepping onto the transportalizer. "I'm going to go with no.'"

Eridan screwed up his face, the frills at the sides of his face twitching. "No wh--"

Rose vanished into the air, and any smug joy she had over spiting Eridan evaporated as she was enwrapped in the shadow-frost of the void. She shut her eyes. Rose did not know how the transportalizers worked but she had the sneaking suspicion from repeat uses that it was connected to the furthest ring. Even with her eyes closed the voices hissed at her louder than ever, short promises that in the language of the elder gods could be squeezed into the second of transportalization.

"I can give you power," said one, and she wondered if he knew anything else to promise as he had never said anything else. "So direct," said a female, "so forceful. Always with demands and demands. Sit, Rose, relax, there is no need to hurry..." . And "Life," "Life," "An inch, an inch! You can still have life!" had become very popular lately. Or maybe it was the cold.

She was still catching her breath, pinching between her eyes, when Eridan popped into full volume behind her. "No _what_?" he repeated.

"W-w-whoa!" she shouted back, and, taking advantage of his surprised reaction, took a deep breath. "I mean I'm not going to be your auspitice, Eridan. I don't get it, I can't do it, I won't! Especially not for you and Vriska, you're both dug your own graves on this one."

Eridan seemed to lose track of his mouth, which had dropped at being refused by a lowblood landdweller, Rose presumed, or something equally asinine. "I... uh..."

"Look, Eridan, just give me some space, okay, I'm not feeling very well. I need some space."

And all at once there was no space. From the other side of the room, Karkat and John appeared in turn from Karkat's transportalizer and Dave and Terezi emerged from the centre. Everyone was talking for a moment, an impenetrable wall of sound, until they all noticed one another and stopped almost at once.

Of course Karkat spoke first. "WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU TWO GOING?"

"Duh, drawing a mural," Terezi said, hoisting the box of paints she was carrying. Rose did not like this. Karkat and Terezi, if they had ever borne one another affection, had been boiling over from the moment the Humans had arrived. The moulting Trolls were bad enough, but it would be a terrible idea to forget just how dangerous the others could be. Even being near them could be dangerous. Rose had once helped them fight off a group of imps Nepeta had found in a vault, and had seen Sollux locking his items in encrypted safes and flinging them at targets. If any of their sylladexes could be weaponized, and Rose did not want to be near Terezi while she was carrying heavy, metal cans of paint. Looking from her to Dave, Rose saw that her friend was lugging about a mixed box of crayons, chalk and pencil crayons. The two of them must have just been at the alchemiter, making dupes. She couldn't help but notice how Dave was towering over Terezi these days.

"Well like that wasn't fucking obvious, but I asked where you were _going_."

Terezi tried to shrug. "My room."

So he started shouting, and Eridan, not wanting to be ignored, began to pick up the shouting at Rose's back. Terezi kept up the volume on her own past a wicked smile that Rose suspected was at least partially forced.

"SO NOW YOU'RE JUST ALL HANGING OUT IN YOUR ROOM IN YOUR TIME OFF, IS IT?"

"He's in my room all the time! M4YB3 1F YOU C4R3D 3NOUGH TO CH3CK UP YOU'D H4V3 NOT1C3D"

"roz I really dont think you realize just how fuckin serious this is I mean you're really just not letting into your fuckin head is all"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" the three Humans said, essentially at once. They coordinated quickly with John, who subtly directed Dave to Karkat, Rose to Terezi and himself to Eridan. It was not quite perfect ("STOP TALKING DOWN TO ME OR I'LL GUT YOU FROM END TO END." "Can't help it man, you're so adorably fun-sized." "...What did you call me?") they pulled the three of them down to the ground. Karkat, having seemingly decided he had had more than enough, pushed past them with his perpetual scowl and headed back to the lab. Terezi, deciding this was the funniest thing she had seen all day, let out a shrieking laugh that hung in the air long after she had transportalized away. Eridan stayed.

"Eridan," John said, "Look, I think Rose is really busy now, so maybe you should just, uh..." He shoved him towards his portal. "Just go away for a bit."

"Hey, I don't have to put up with this kind of treat--" he started, and then abruptly disappeared. Rose waited for a moment to see if he would return, but it seemed that, for the time, he had given up. All at once, the three of them collapsed to the floor in a fit of relieved laughter at their own expense.

"Ohhh my..." Rose groaned. "Why do they have to be so stupid sometimes?"

"I don't know, Lalonde," Dave said. "Let's turn it over to Egbert, he's our resident expert on stupid."

John just laughed, and it was hard not to join in. After a time, he clapped his knees. "Look at us, huh? If Jade were here it'd be the old team again."

"Yeah," Rose laughed. "Maybe we should call her down."

"No way," Dave said, "it's five-thirty or some shit. Let her sleep."

Was it really? Where she might have previously found that distressing, Rose now found it kind of amusing. There was an uplifting atmosphere there with the two of them, though it definitely would have been better with Jade. Rose had missed this. Dave was busy those days, and Rose was not sure when she would catch him next, but John and Karkat's movies were close enough to platonic to let her barge in, maybe. It would be nice to relax.

But first: "Dave, seriously though, you've got to say something to Terezi."

"Yeah," John said. "I don't want to turn this into a thing. Karkat's kind of hated your guts since that 'alien girl trying to get my bone' remark."

Rose raised an eyebrow. "Your what?"

"Hey," Dave said, hands raised. "We're just friends, okay? That's all. And I'm not going to let your hatefriend screw with that because he thinks he's king shit on this rock."

Rose furrowed her brow. "Strider, that's just the thing. You might think that but I don't think Terezi... uh... _can_ be friends with you." Had he really not noticed? For Rose, Terezi had been one of the two things that had convinced her that Kanaya was _right_. Her overtures towards Dave were far too, to borrow a term: flushed. While Rose suspected Terezi might have at least once been flirting for fun, or to tweak her matesprit, things had clearly gotten to the knife-edge bordering acquaintance and "completely of hand." Based on the look on Dave's face, he wasn't buying it, but Rose could not shake the weight of the eighteenth conversation. It was really way too early in the morning to be doing this. Too tired to dance the mine field of that conversation, she leaned over and hugged him. "Don't you be stupid, Strider. I'm serious."

"Yeah," said John. "I'm the stupid one, remember?"

"And you smell like a sweaty pig," she added as she let go. "Seriously, Strider, she sees with her nose."

"Hey, just helping the lady see me coming!" he said with a roll of his eyes. "Rose," he said as she stepped towards the transportalizer. "Hey!" She stopped. "I got this, okay? You can trust me."

She smiled again. It was so much easier to smile with them than with Eridan. "I do." Taking a step onto the platform, she tugged at her sleeve so he could see. "You need new clothes," she whispered. And as he was checking his short cuffs, she vanished.

The voices picked up again, but Rose shrugged them off with ease. Power, Life, Fame. Live forever, turn grey. It was so much easier for Rose to ignore to them when she coming straight off of her friends. It was so much easier when she wasn't half-drowned in a pool of intentional hate. What was Eridan thinking? Wasn't their little society fragile enough?

But a familiar whisper tugged at her. Many of the voices were all familiar, in a sense. Some of them belonged to people that were dead and gone, some of her own imagination, but they were all just wrong enough that they clearly belonged to Gods of neither sex nor humanity. But one voice, one of a young man she had never met, took the neutral gender twist to a new level. He was perfectly alluring. It only got through because Rose had been expecting it, or maybe in a fit of self-betrayal, invited it. She had never bothered to fully translate what the voice from eldritch, because she was afraid of the details, but it always came to bother her when she talked to Dave, John, Kanaya or Jade. To taunt her about the people she loved, and to make suggestions. It made her hate her own puberty more than she ever had Eridan's.

"Fuck you," she whispered back, and opened her eyes. Karkat was looking up at her over the back of his couch.

"You see, that's why I like you, Lalonde."

Rose rolled her eyes and stepped off the platform, off to find somewhere in the lab that might keep her warm.


	4. Chapter 4

“Rose? Uh… help!”

Rose stepped off the platform and took a look around the room. Not much to say: though Dave was home, Aradia was no where to be seen, and she presumed she had some business to attend to in what she had kept of her room. No one was there but Karkat, who was fiddling with the pile of DVDs he and John had built up so wide that they served as a coffee table and footrest, and Tavros, who was on the floor.

“Tavros, what…?”

His left leg was planted sole-down on the ground and his right sole-fore, with the entirety of his boot through the solid metal table. His chair had rolled off almost to Rose’s side and he looked up at her upside-down from his position. Karkat selected a DVD and put it into the player.

“What happened?” Rose asked after John, who had arrived just after her, had helped her lift Tavros back into his chair and had gone to sit on the couch.

Tavros smiled lightly and said: “Pretty normal. I was just about to go to bed when I yawned. Yawning made my right leg kick out from under me and made both of them shut off.”

“You were here all night?”

“Yeah, pretty much,” he said with a nod. “Everyone else had already gone to bed, so there wasn’t really anything anyone could have done.”

Rose would not have quite said that, but bit her tongue. “So, do you want some help getting back to your room and get some sleep?” She could, with his permission, come into his section and help him the rest of the way. As a matter of fact, while for actual “bedrooms” she had only seen Kanaya’s, she had been in several of the Troll’s sections of the lab since her arrival: Equius could rarely be bothered to be torn away from his work in case of a repair, Terezi controlled access to the roof, and Gamzee’s was so large that he got lost from time to time and would text in that he needed to be found.

“Nah, I figure I should just wait here for Equius. I’ll just stay at my computer until then.” His smile was so cheery, Rose did not really have the heart to disagree with him.

“All right,” she said, “maybe I’ll go see if I can find him in a little bit, though. Eridan broke my door.”

“oH,,, uH, dID HE,” As anyone familiar with him would have expected, Tavros’s eyes flicked just off of meeting Rose’s. “I figured he might. nOT THE BREAKING YOUR DOOR PART, i MEAN JUST TALKING TO YOU. He and Vriska haven’t been talking about anything else for the past two days.”

“Vriska too?” Rose said with a sigh, falling into Nepeta’s chair.

“Yeah. wELL, nOT TO EACH OTHER’S FACES, just to me. In fact, if they weren’t complaining about you, I’d figure they were trying to make me their auspistice.”

Rose laughed bitterly. “Well, maybe you should volunteer, because I just told Eridan I’m not doing it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” she said. “I mean, I figure Vriska will come bother me about it on her own terms but no is still no.”

“Wow, that’s—!” Tavros said, and lurched forward with excitement, falling off-balance as his legs decided to stick magnet-hard to the ground. His arms flailed and Rose had to catch him before he fell straight into his own lap. “tHANKS,” he whispered.

“No problem,” she whispered back. “You… don’t really care to see your friends turn kismeses?” she said, not really sure if she was barking up the right tree.

“No, that’s not it,” Tavros said as he pull-swivelled his chair back towards his desk and tried to set his head in his hands without touching the splayed metal hole struck by his boot in the middle of it. “It was sort of getting in the way of other things.”

“Yeah,” Rose said. “I know what you mean. New relationships can really put a wall in the middle of old ones.” She was thinking specifically of Terezi and Dave at the time, but it really did seem as though it stretched out to cover her entire group of friends. She kept talking to keep her mind off of it. “Do you think they’ll keep trying on their own?”

“Maybe. I don’t know. That’s not… really what I meant, though.”

“What is it?” she asked, watching as he winced away, his head slowly disappearing into his crossed arms on his desk. “Tavros,” she said with a bit of a laugh.

“It’s… iT’S, well…” His face splotched over brownish-orange, an endearingly timed blush that nevertheless did nothing for his complexion. He then opened his mouth to give an answer, but to Rose’s surprise nothing, not even the tiniest whisper or gasp of air, actually came past his lips as he moved them.

“Tavros,” she said again, crossing her own arms.

She had to lean in to hear him, so had to ask him to repeat himself, which only made him blush harder. “…was hoping you might be interested in giving me some relationship advice.”

Rose set a hand to her lips. “You want me to auspistice for you?” she said, surprised she had managed to contain herself to a whisper. “Really?”

“Well uh, that's not really what I'd call it, I mean... well maybe, in the future if I ever get a kismesis because that would be awesome, but this is a matespritship and you can't auspistice those and... wOW, i HOPE ME BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP ISN'T THAT SURPRISING TO YOU,” Tavros said, looking as glum as ever.

“No, no, no,” Rose said, dropping her hand to better show her smile, and trying to hide her embarrassment over mucking up the simple definition of "auspistice". “You’ve got me all wrong, I’m just…” She searched her memory, but finding only irony, said with a bit of a sarcastic lilt: “…I’m honoured.”

“Really?” It was clearly his turn to be surprised. Beyond them, Sollux arrived to begin his morning code.

“Well sure! But maybe you should fill me in first. Who are we talking about? What kind of relationship? Does he or she know you're interested?”

Tavros’ face gradually began to brighten. “Well, I think so. I mean, we’ve gone outside twice already, and I really like him. But we haven’t talked much about it lately, and I didn’t know if it was me, or maybe he wasn’t interested any more because it was only twice, right? So I didn’t think I would ask and then it looked like I wouldn’t be able to.”

“Hm,” Rose set a hand on her chin. Tavros had a good point. She might understand the Troll’s relationships in the macro but the closer she got the less she could really master. She agreed: even on Human terms she was hardly going to call two dates a commitment, and if Tavros was right his would-be matesprit was just being impolite. And if he was wrong, as he was obviously hoping, there was still a chance for more. “Well, I can see why you’re all worried. Who are we talking about, Tavros?”

At that moment, Vriska appeared in the middle of the room. She looked straight at them, her wry smile thinning out.

“Goober,” she greeted Tavros, and then Rose: “Bitch.”

“mORNING VRISKA,” Tavros said with a shrunken nod. Vriska’s frown deepened, but seeing nothing on which she could immediately intrude, summoned an eight-ball from her sylladex and tossed it to herself as she returned to her computer. Luckily for Rose, she was cut off from she and Tavros by John and Karkat’s movie nook, but that did not stop Vriska from tossing looks at them from her web from time to time.

Rose took quick stock of the situation, which now included Tavros’ complete silence. “She… doesn’t like the idea of you dating this guy, does she?” Tavros, looking slightly petrified, coughed in response. “Was that a yes or a no?”

Tavros reached up to his throat and rubbed it, as though it hurt to speak, and whispered. “uH,,, nO, nO, sHE DOESN’T LIKE HIM AT,,, aT ALL,”

Rose tented her fingers at first, thinking over the situation and how to work around Vriska, when an independent part of her mind hit on a conclusion and stopped the rest of her train of thought outright. Lazily, her eyes slid from Tavros to Vriska and then across to the other empty side of the room as claustrophobia closed in. _I just walked through a labyrinth,_ she thought ruefully to herself, clenching and unclenching a fist. _I’ve walked all this way just to end up where I started!_

“That’s what she was yelling at you about two days ago, wasn’t it?” Rose whispered. Tavros nodded slowly. “She came in early and caught you two… coming in.” Tavros nodded. Rose knew this was not exactly polite but she had to ask: “Why Eridan, Tavros?”

“Well I don’t really know,” he said. “Have you ever heard him talking about his relationships? He’s so intense.”

“Yeah,” Rose said, looking at her hands, nodding meaninglessly. “Yeah, that’s the word I’d use.”

“And we were talking a week or so ago and he was saying how he figured that we were all land-dwellers now because there just any water any more, and got in this really deep funk, so I was talking to him and told him how nice the land is, really. And I asked if that helped and he looked really sad and said, ‘tAVV, YOURE THE ONLY ONE WWHO EVVEN BOTHERED TO CHEER ME UP,’”

Tavros’ impression was terrible, but Rose was deeply touched: very deeply, under miles of quickly accumulating oh-no-not-again. Tavros continued in the happiest tone Rose had seen him use in a while: “So we talked for a long time and two days later he came and asked me if I wanted to take a walk outside, and I didn’t really realize what he meant at first, so I said I couldn’t because of my legs and he just looked so sad all of a sudden that I had to think ‘wAIT, wHAT DOES THIS MEAN,’ and—”

“Tav,” Rose said, putting an arm on his shoulder, and then immediately: “Tavros! I’m sorry, I think I need…” Rose tried to be direct, it felt like the only way she was going to be able to say anything and still stay the hell away from Eridan. Rose saw Vriska looking at them again, her eyelids lowered, and Rose dropped her hand. “I have to go take this all in a little. And I promised John I’d go watch some movies with him.”

“…oh,” Tavros said, his face falling as far as his tone of voice. “That’s okay Rose, take all the time you want.”

 _Oh no, don’t look like that,_ Rose thought, biting her lip. “Look, if he comes in in the next few minutes, why don’t you talk to him and see what you can about what’s up? I think that would really help a lot. Just go out and… do it.”

“Okay Rose,” he said, sounding even deeper in the dumps. Rose shut her eyes, swearing inwardly, and made a bee-line to the couch.

“Hey Rose,” John said as she approached. “What’s up?”

“What are you two watching?” she asked.

“It’s… uh…”

Karkat, swallowing a handful of popcorn, butted in. “Innocent-Teenager-Emblematic-Of-Intended-Core-Demographic-Peppered-With-Largely-Superficial-Flaws-Falls-In-Flushed-Relationships-With-A-Variety-Of-Supernatural-And-Unusual-Matesprits-Including-An-Alien-An-Imperial-Drone-And-Especially-A-Rainbow-Drinker-Who-Fight-Against-Her-Wishes-In-Low-Budget-But-High-Flying-Fight-Scenes-Part-One-Of-Four.”

John coughed, and then leaned towards her to whisper. “‘Trollight.’”

“Oh, good,” Rose said, to John’s obvious surprise. “I’ve been so busy first thing in the morning. I need a numb mind. Is this seat taken?”

Karkat and John unwrapped their legs from around the tub of popcorn that sat between them, and Karkat handed it to Rose as she vaulted the back. “Karkat,” she said as she sat down, “I promise, it’ll be like I’m not even here. If you want me to pass a punch John’s way, you just tell me.”

Karkat gave her a wary eye, John a look that showed he did not fully grasp what she was implying, and Karkat at last decided to roll back to the movie while muttering: “Sollux was right. You are fucking turning into Kanaya.”

Rose just sat quietly and ate her popcorn. About half an hour later, Feferi arrived, saw the film and reacted with immediate glee. She took a seat beside Rose, making Karkat break out into a kicking spat that only ended when they both moved to the floor. Kanaya joined them later, taking Rose’s old seat, to which Karkat did not object as he had, at that point, been reduced to blubbering tears by the film. Last of all came Jade, who joined the floor crowd. Others arrive less interested in fantasy romance as well, the whole lab waking up over time, and Feferi looked painfully torn when Aradia arrived. For a moment, it seemed she might get up to talk to her, but as she tried, Karkat reached down and pushed her conspicuously back to her seat. Feferi looked to him for an explaination, but all he seemed to be able to muster was something half-assed about this being "the best part." The film completed in due time, there was a clamouring demand (Rose decided to conclude that John’s muffled laughter constituted “demand”) to play the sequel.

Feferi, who had been able to sink back into the proceedings as though nothing had happened, almost started bouncing. “Rose, Jade, you have to see the next one. This is where it really gets interesting.”

Karkat, muttering behind his hand, said something to the effect of “Yeah, to the eyes.”

Feferi wagged her finger at him over her shoulder. “I’m not going to hear you complaining once he’s on screen.” Karkat shrugged. “Spends the entire movie in a loincloth,” she continued after a pause, referring, Rose assumed, to the young Imperial Drone character. “He’s gorgeous. It’s the same actor as in the first movie but like,” she closed her eyes, and swept both hands outwards. “…Completely grown up.”

John snickered and turned toward the back of the couch. “Hey, you hearing this?” he said to the rest of the room.

Feferi’s hand slapped to her mouth as she laughed at own misfortune. “Sollux!” she called. “I LOV-E YOU!”

Their Mage of Doom swatted a dismissive hand in their direction. Karkat grunted. “Dude, get rid of your hate-on for this series and help me and Egbert not be the only guys over here, huh?”

“Not a chance in hell, KK.”

As Karkat, still muttering, composed himself and set to the technical details of playing the next film. Rose took a check of the room. Tavros had stuck around, just as he had promised, and was essentially watching the movie with the rest of them from his chair, looking as forlorn as before. There was no sign of Eridan. Her sweep completed, Rose turned to her side and looked up at Kanaya, setting a hand on her leg.

“Hey,” she said. “You get any sleep?”

“Enough, I suppose,” Kanaya replied, only briefly meeting her eyes. “It was a bit of a late night.”

Rose could not help but wonder at that. A “late night” had almost become their personal byword for a lengthy, involved conversation, but the night before Rose had been far too flustered at the truth of her encounter with the three Trolls to have been an eloquent conversationalist. On Kanaya’s advice she had gone to “play” with Jade and Nepeta to cool down, but Jade had recognized her friend’s mood and they had retreated to their corner of Aradia’s for a bout of sleepover-style complaining and counselling. Rose had invited Kanaya to go, but she had refused at the time. Rose understood: she and Jade got along rather well, but no one wanted to join a pity party. Now Rose could think of a million things that could be wrong, but had nothing to work with.

As Karkat returned to his spot on the couch, remote in hand, Rose made a point to get quickly to her feet. “I think I should get going,” she said. “Equius should be up soon enough, and someone’s got to get him to pick up the pace and help Tavros. Also, Eridan may have broken my door.”

Kanaya seemed a touch taken aback and replied, “That’s…” She turned to Karkat, who had started chuckling the moment he heard it, and then back to Rose. “…unfortunate.”

“Yeah. When he shows up, would someone tell him to get on his damn computer?” She meant “John’s computer”, as it had been leant to Eridan from what Rose assumed was the a corner of her friend’s heart made of pure gold and fucking chocolate considering how Eridan had narrated the loss of his own. She tried to sound angry as she said it, as though she had left him some sort of nasty text, but Tavros gave the tiniest of smiles in response.

Rose stopped as she moved to leave and, trying to appear casual, dropped down just behind Kanaya. “Hey,” she said. Though the pre-movie trailers-and-propaganda had begun (“Remember kids, an exercise regimen of at least an hour a day leads to a healthy life. Of course,” he says with a laugh, “an exercise regimen of less than forty-five minutes a culling offence!” followed by the earworm jingle), Kanaya was looking towards her nails, turning them over in her hands. She was not really paying the film any attention at all: simply staring off into space.

“I was hoping…” Rose said, and could not help but notice that John took an immediate interest into the mandatory calisthenics routine at the time of the film’s release. “…we could have a chance to hang out later.”

Kanaya pulled the slightest bit away, seemingly surprised. “Yeah,” she said nevertheless, apparently listening more than she was watching. “Sure, let’s.”

Rose was not really sure what to make of that display, at least at the moment, but later, she promised, she would do what she could. From where Rose sat, Kanaya’s head was not far from her own hands and she extended a finger and brushed at her hair. It was all Rose could really do. Kanaya must have noticed as she turned slightly back and smiled, lips pressed tight together, and held up her hand in a goodbye wave. Taking to her feet, Rose headed over to the transportalizer, smiling at Tavros. A lot of people wanted her to play relationship detective today, she supposed, but that didn’t preclude keeping a close eye on an established relationship. _You know,_ she thought. _Whatever it is._


	5. Chapter 5

Rose did not like it underground. The Under-Laboratory specifically had every trapping of danger one could imagine in an old factory setting, and a full orchestra of gloomy ambience set to drip, clang or rattle almost exactly when you wanted it to least. She had no idea where the light was coming from, seeing as how it made no sense. There were no bulbs in the underlab.

But there were plenty of vantage points. Rose really had no idea what these halls had been used for, if not pure maintenance. There were scummy old vats, lined with rust and acid-splashed steel. There were whole tubs, like chemical pools in two rows of three, which she found time and time again, each with different stains. Old observation chambers overhung the rooms, their forward-slanting window panes having largely since collapsed or been smashed by imps, leaving a border of broken glass on the edges of nearly ever room. Last of all, Rose kept hearing noses of a less ambient sort. The small Alternian creatures that had been smuggled into the lab by certain Trolls moved through the walls like a Delaporean wave, while she had at least once heard a door she had definitely closed snap shut a minute later.

Rose pressed on, but did not like where her search was leading her with every step. She was growing closer and closer to the vault where they had found the imps. Sollux had explained to her at the time that since the lab was a mandatory part of the game, the echeladder level of any Underlings there was dynamically scaled beyond a high minimum: scaled, that was, to the Trolls. To a point they were at least still Imps, but Rose had not been so embarrassed in the course of the entire game, and Jade – Jade! – has sworn like a pirate when an imp took a round through the temple and simply turned towards and jumped her.

As Rose passed into a room filled with large silos of some sort, then the voice started. Muffled, barely reaching her for thanks of the acoustic nightmare of the echoing pipes, Rose had no idea where it could be coming from, and no idea what was being said. She proceeded deeper into the underlab, a ghost on her shoulder pleading incoherencies.

After a time, she found her footsteps changed beneath her as she stepped onto a plastic mesh designed to let liquid flow into troughs on either side of the hallway: a chemical shower. She approached the next door warily but, seeing by the pile of rust flakes that the door had recently been opened, did the same with gloved hands once pink, now stained brown from this simple expedition’s wear. She pulled open the huge door and stepped into a clone lab, long buried under newer development. A proto body still floated in an old tube, obscured by a cloud of smoky, dark yellow water mixed with visible debris.

“…completely unawares…”

Rose froze, and listened carefully, scanning the room from top to bottom. There were dead computers, data banks and tubes everywhere: more than enough places to hide. The Quills of Echidna came out as she walked slowly atop a trough, casting a wary eye towards the observatory lounge as she approached the full vat, her back carefully to the wall, as close as she dared to mind the shattered glass. She cast the occasional gaze behind her. No Imp was going to be able to come from that angle, but a determined Basilisk… And who in Sburb was speaking?

“…no idea... dealing with. She will never know w…”

The speaker had picked up at the end, and certain of the direction, Rose wheeled to her right, quills high at the ready.

“…looks in the opposite direction, and the mighty huntress makes a deadly pounce!”

Rose hit the ground just as she had started her about-face. A weight pinned her face down inches from a pool of brackish chemical bath glittering like it covered a pile of bladed glass jewels. A rain of slaps from an overlarge overcoat lashed across her back before the weight shifted and her captor began to gnaw on her shoulder, teeth sheathed behind her lips.

“N—” Rose swatted at her. “Nepeta!”

“But her prey has survived the initial impact and is fighting back!” Nepeta decided this warranted another jacket flogging.

“Argh!” Rose had no choice but to raise her hand to defend herself when all at once Nepeta stopped and scuttled off across the floor towards the centre of the room on all fours. Rose rolled slightly to have a better look at her, and saw her squatting on tiptoes, one hand down for balance alongside the tip of her tail and the other held in the air as she looked about the room. When she looked back in Rose’s direction, her eyes slid slowly from the left toward the right, and then back, even slower, again. At last, she perked up slightly and, after a pause, shook her arms a number of times to get her sleeves aside and extended her weapon-claws and then bolted away. Her paws hit the ground in total silence while she shouted:

“the graceful beast races off in search of easier purrey!”

Rose, more than a little dumbfounded, pushed up with her right hand in hopes of righting herself but feel back to the ground with a wince as a shot of pain rain down the arm. Checking her shoulder, she found that a shard of dirty glass had embedded itself in her upper arm. Gritting her teeth, she pulled out the shard and rolled away to drier ground, where she fumbled through her sylladex to find the branch that held her stash of weaker healing candy. She popped one and felt the wound close on her shoulder, but jumped again when a rattling sound started from just to her side. She looked down and saw a lumpy Alternian hard candy lying not far from her.

“You should take an antidote just in case,” echoed a voice from above. She looked up to the observation windows. “There’s no sense in getting infected.”

“Not really sanitary on the ground like that,” she noted.

“Not really. It may be covered in any number of dangerous germs but it will also kill them in your bloodstream.”

 _Well,_ thought Rose, _if that isn’t a mash of Wonderland nonsense_. All the same, she picked up the gnarly lozenge and wiped it on a clean patch of sleeve before sticking it reluctantly in her mouth and looking up at the glinting broken shades that were all she could see of her Cheshire cat.

It took her a while to make her way to Equius, seeing as how he had moved on to continue his close watch on Nepeta. She found him hunched over a window smashed by the imps that had once lived there, looking down over a room filled with steam boilers that _click_ ed loudly every twelve seconds, but seemed otherwise completely empty.

“I’ve been looking for you,” Rose said by way of greeting.

“Does this have something to do with my lowblood leader requesting another set of silly vanity repairs or have Nitram’s legs failed again? Either way, he should feel ashamed for sending someone of our calibre down to play messenger.”

Rose was never really sure how to respond to Equius once they had first met in person and always phrased her words very carefully. She was well aware how his determination to compare the four humans had landed her via her mother’s income as the rough equivalent to “Blue bloods.” Similarly, he had decided Dave was an Orange or Yellow, far below his contempt, and John a Yellow or Green (the system seemed to lack a certain precision). But that was just a taste: Terezi had whispered a few weeks regarding the final stages of his research. Apparently, once he had computed just how much it would take for one to buy their own private island and ship research components, heavy firearms and radioactive food processing units to it, he had immediately left the room to take a cold shower.

“…Yeah, Tavros,” she said after weighing her options. “And Eridan may have broken my door.”

“Yes, w-well,” he said, looking up briefly and returning with a stammer to his vantage, “I’m sure Lord Ampora had his reasons.”

“…You could… you could say that.”

She joined him at the adjoining window, which had fallen out entirely, and looked about in hopes of finding Nepeta. “What’s she hunting?”

“Ratlings,” he replied. Rose nodded, having seen them before: a sort of white-furred rat with a tail covered in microscopic blades that snuck into the lab to steal food every few days or so. As she understood it, they had been teleported in with the surrounds of several of the Troll’s hives, along with an assortment of other creatures that had palled along, largely in what had been called “Feferi’s zoo,” before being set loose, bred to twice their original number, in the labs.

“Where—”

Equius pointed, and following his finger, she saw a ratling trying to sneak around one of the steam boilers. It ran along the multi-branched causeway that made up the apparent “floor” of a room that probably truly ended storeys deep into the underground, and stopped near a cloud of leaking steam from one of the boilers. The boiler squealed and hissed before cutting off at once in its cycle, and as the steam began to clear, Rose caught a glint of steal break through its haze.

“…lowered close to the ground, knowing its prey couldn’t see or smell her…”

Nepeta barrelled forward, the hanging metal of the causeway swaying this way and that with an awful din as she banged into support beams. The ratling raced likewise for cover, and the whole room below echoed in a chaotic scramble of claws on metal. They went this way, then another, the rat clearly lost on the causeway. Rose lost them too in the obscuring cover of the boilers and steam, but in a moment they rounded about the side and ran straight by her view. The ratling froze as it reached the end, having unwittingly been chased into a dead end, and could only turn back and stare in horror as death closed in on it, gleefully narrating: “and then with a final strike the huntress closes in!” Nepeta struck the ratling, snapping it into her paws, and momentum carried her smack into the wall with her shoulder, sending a gong ring about the room as the causeway rattled and shook.

Rose look up and saw that Equius had already started his descent down to meet her, and picked up the pace to join him. They met again in the hallway, as Nepeta sauntered out of the causeway on her knuckles, her victim clutched neatly in her teeth, its blood-stained coat still dripping out over her lower lip and onto the ground. Proud and graceful, Nepeta deposited the ratling at Equius’ feet.

“Nepeta,” he said, “cease this 100dicrus gift-giving e%ercise at once.”

Nepeta turned her nose up at him, retrieved the ratling and deposited it at Rose’s feet instead. She could not help but look down at it. Its hind legs had been broken in the impact of the chase and a muddied yellow tear running from its neck to its belly, its left foreleg hanging loose with nothing left to hold it fast but the skin. She had seen worse, done worse to the underlings of the game, but that did not make her want to stare. Nepeta beamed up at her with a lemon-smeared smile and giant eyes.

“You know perfectly well that no one here is interested in dead animals but you.”

“Hmph,” Nepeta puffed, and picked up the ratling with both hands and started off down the hall on her feet. Equius followed and Rose pressed up close beside, trying to keep her eyes off of Nepeta.

“You knoooooow…” Nepeta said after a few steps, leaning into Equius until he was practically carrying her weight. “These hunts would be way more fun if a certain someone would come with me.”

“Out of the question,” he replied at once. “The under-laboratory is a deathtrap. It’s pathetic enough that I let you run about down here.”

Nepeta, taking to her feet proper, replied gracefully by sticking out her tongue at him. Rose shook her head and kept walking. There was a long way left to go to get out of the underlab, and she was not about to provoke their debate just to liven it up. At least, not if she could help it.

* * *

>   
> 
> 
> TT: The question I wanted to ask concerns the conciliatory relationships.   
> GA: Fair Enough.   
> TT: Since the beginning of your contact with our team during the game, I have been in intermittent contact with arsenicCatnip.   
> GA: Nepeta  
> TT: Thank you.  
> TT: In one of our few conversations actually directed at me, I learned a good deal about her moirail, Equius.   
> GA: She Was Willing To Use His Name But Not Her Own  
> TT: She insisted to me that she was a cougar.   
> TT: Cougars don't have names on earth, you see.   
> GA: Of Course How Silly Of Me  
> TT: My curiosity stems from the apparent nature of their relationship.  
> TT: Prior to our most immediate discussion, I would have called the relationship one of "best friends."  
> TT: But obviously my terminology has gone foul.   
> GA: Well Not Entirely Foul  
> GA: The Grey Quadrant Is Often The Home Of The Closest Relationships  
> GA: While Trolls Have A Fixation On Our Rage There Is Still Something To Be Said For Maintaining One’s Self-Control  
> GA: And That Is After All The Duty Of The Moirail  
> GA: But Such Entries Are Unusual At A Young Age  
> TT: If I am keeping proper track, your group had three at the start of this game.   
> GA: The Princess Attracts Unusual Allies  
> GA: And Of Course Qualifies Herself  
> TT: You’re hinting again at the Insurrection you mentioned earlier.   
> GA: Indeed  
> GA: While We Encompassed A Number Of Related Circles In Our Extreme Youth  
> GA: We Came Together At First Temporarily Allied Under Cuttlefishculler  
> GA: In Preparation For Her Insurrection Against Her Imperial Majesty Of The Eternal Thunder  
> TT: Until you were interrupted by foreknowledge of this Sgrubian burp in your plans?   
> GA: Yes And The Empress With A More Literal Burp  
> GA: The Irony Was To A Certain Extent Palpable  
> GA: That Is  
> GA: In The Form Of Our Black King  
> TT: Unfortunate.   
> GA: Yes  
> GA: But Forming A Group Of Dangerous And Gifted Persons Tends To Result In Moirails  
> GA: And Explosions  
> GA: With Cuttlefishculler And Caligulasaqarium As Our Nucleus We Were A Touch More Hostile Than The Average  
> GA: Though Equally Bound To Hold Together In Times Of Internal Crisis  
> TT: arachnidsGrip.  
> GA: Precisely  
> TT: So Equius and Nepeta also fall along this array of unusual circumstances?   
> GA: No  
> GA: They Are If Anything The Most Normal Pale Relationship In Our Lives  
> TT: Nepeta repeatedly referred to her moirail as "strong."  
> TT: Should I thus assume that he is "strong" enough to be dangerous, and thus necessitate a moirail?   
> GA: Yes But In Practice The Distinction Goes Largely In The Reverse  
> GA: Equius Is Placated By His Own Recreation And Choice Of Semi-Invulnerable Kismesis  
> TT: So Nepeta is more dangerous than Equius?   
> GA: Not With A Fist  
> GA: But Imagine If You Will That A New Sgrub Players Initial Status  
> GA: Level 1  
> GA: Is Based On Previous Combat Training And Abilities  
> TT: I can picture Strider easily enough for that.   
> GA: Good  
> GA: In This Regard Nepeta’s Real-World Combat Training Far Outstrips Our Own  
> GA: Those That Even Approach Her Gained That Previous Experience In Artificial Combat  
> GA: Or With Powerful Weaponry Where Nepeta Used Only Claws To Tear Down Equal Opponents  
> TT: Remarkable. I had not struck her as any notable threat whatsoever in our conversations.   
> GA: I Also Suspect She May Have Trouble Controlling Her Anger  
> GA: Equius Had Often Counselled Against Her Participating In These Same Artificial Combats  
> GA: With Some Enthusiasm  
> TT: Even for him?   
> GA: You Have Spoken With Him?   
> TT: Once.  
> TT: He demanded to know my mother’s annual income.  
> TT: Then said something about exchange rates and disappeared.   
> GA: Curious  
> TT: So you suspect he is containing a particularly aggressive personality in Nepeta?  
> TT: I find this hard to believe.  
> TT: She’s such a doll.   
> GA: I Do Not Mean To Mar Your Impression Of Her  
> GA: The Nepeta You Have Known Has Been Strengthened By Her Relationships As Much As You Have Been By Yours  
> GA: And While It Would Behoove Him To Learn Some Manners In How He Handles These Affairs  
> GA: I Think The Love Of Her Moirail Makes Her Stronger Still  
> TT: Which brings me back to where I began.  
> TT: Is this kind of close, amicable moirallegiance a common one?   
> GA: Not Uncommon  
> GA: Though Such A Relationship Has A Good Deal Of Pros And Cons  
> TT: Such as?   
> GA: Well What Would You Say Is The Primary Duty Of A Moirail  
> TT: I’m not sure I’m qualified to make that kind of distinction.   
> GA: Keep In Mind  
> GA: That In Trying To Keep A Fellow Troll From Performing Dangerous Acts  
> GA: Moiraility Remains A Romantic Relationship  
> TT: Perhaps something to do, then, with kismesissitude?   
> GA: Exactly  
> TT: To prevent ones moirail from killing their kismesis?   
> GA: And Being Killed In Turn  
> GA: Kismesissitudes Have To Be Kept In Check To Keep Them From Going Over Board At Their Peaks  
> GA: The Auspisice Keeps The Flame From Lighting In Other Pairings Or Into Flushed Pairings  
> GA: And The Moirail Prevents Any Major Damage In The Caliginous  
> GA: In Theory  
> TT: I can see the pro, then.   
> TT: Who better to talk you down than someone you’re close with?   
> GA: Though I Believe In This Regard Nepeta Has Her Greatest Failing As A Moirail  
> GA: As I Cannot Imagine Her Being Willing To Directly Interfere With Equius And His Kismesis  
> GA: Given Her Personal Distaste For Blackrom  
> GA: Can You Likewise See The Con  
> TT: No. Enlighten me?   
> GA: Remember That Kismesis Is A Sexual Relationship  
> TT: Ah. Resentment.  
> TT: It would be a shame to ruin a strong relationship with your moirail when they are simply doing their duty  
> TT: Even if that duty is to keep you from getting off on a spaded murder  
> GA: Excellent But Only Half Of The Picture  
> TT: I’m afraid I’m having trouble coming up with a second situation.   
> GA: I Would Hate To Interrupt You Now  
> GA: You Are Proving Conciliatorily Apt  
> TT: Another hint?   
> GA: Imagine Yourself As A Moirail Trying To Prevent Your Partner From Commiting A As You Said Spaded Murder  
> GA: How Would You Go About It  
> TT: I suppose I would attempt to talk him or her down  
> GA: Which Effectively Avoids The Pitfall You Are Searching For  
> GA: But As Certain Moirails Have Found In The Past This Technique Runs A Certain Risk Of Failure  
> GA: And I Fear Your Moirail’s Kismesis Has Just Lost Permanent Use Of His Legs  
> TT: Vivid!   
> GA: And Now Your Moirail Is Out Of Your Control  
> GA: And Will Fall Into A New Misguided Moirallegience With Some Other Troll  
> GA: That Perhaps Harboured Some Other Kind Of Feeling Towards Her At The Time  
> GA: Dont You See What Youve Done Rose  
> TT: And now suddenly out of hand.   
> GA: Sorry  
> TT: Back on topic.  
> TT: I suppose the next technique is direct intervention.  
> TT: To get in and fight them away from their kismesis, physically or psychically.   
> GA: Indeed  
> TT: ...  
> TT: Oh my.   
> GA: I See You Have Grasped It  
> TT: Yes, certainly.  
> TT: It would seem that such a prominent threat would necessitate the need for Pale Auspitices.   
> GA: Rose Dont Be Silly  
> TT: I can see how jumping from sexual relationship (Kismesissitude) to sexual (Matespritship) would be more common.  
> TT: But to jump, in a single bound, from platonic to sexual seems far more...  
> TT: Unstable.   
> GA: I Suppose We Are All More Afraid Of The Drones Than We Are Of Discovering Negative Feelings For Our Moirails  
> TT: Certainly not all negative, if you were attracted to them.   
> GA: Ah Yes  
> GA: A Personal Bias In That I Would Not Personally Want To Discover Positive Sexual Feelings For My Moirail  
> GA: In The Midst Of An Attempt To Gut Them For Getting In My Way  
> TT: Have I mentioned,  
> TT: In the name of continued cultural understanding  
> TT: that I find your kismesissitude utterly terrifying?   
> GA: You Have Implied Along That Route  
> TT: Have you ever felt Calignous feelings for another Troll, if I can ask?   
> GA: Not Yet  
> GA: Jade Green Blood Does Not Spill Lightly  
> GA: But I Will Find Someone Worthy Of That Beautiful Excess In Time  
> TT: Inspiring  
> GA: There Is No Need For Sarcasm  
> TT: Do you see this?  
> TT: This is me sticking my tongue out at you.  
> TT: It is a human gesture of respect and not at a juvenile response to being caught in the act.   
> GA: Heh  
> TT: No offence, but I don’t imagine that once I’ve found my spot in your life that I  
> TT: ...urm.  
> TT: will be the one making a beautiful mess of your blood.  
> GA: Disappointing  
> TT: Oh dear.   
> GA: Heh Heh  
> TT: A joke?  
> TT: From you??   
> GA: I Can Make Jokes  
> TT: I’m afraid if you were trying to coerce me to spades that I find this new sense of humour more endearing than hated.   
> GA: A Shame  
> TT: ...moving on...  
> TT: Your turn.   
> GA: Thank You
> 
>   
> 

* * *

“I insist you prepare that thing properly before consuming it.”

Nepeta, her mouth full, only managed to reply “Ah’ll cook id lader!” before something occurred to her and, with an energetic jolt she jumped immediately in front of Rose. “Rode!” she shouted, as though only then realizing who else was there with her and her moirail. Stopping, she held up a finger for pause as she walked backwards, and swallowed before repeating, pleading eyes looking up almost a full head’s height up at her human friend: “Rose! Please tell me you aren’t auspisticing for Eridan and Vriska.”

“Nepeta!” Equius said, shocked. “Don’t talk like that! Rose should feel… erm…”

He pointed at the ratling in Nepeta’s hands, and she looked at it cockeyed, cupped up in such a way that Rose could not see quite what was going on. Lowering her eyes, she grasped the ratling, gloved, by its bladed tail and indignantly smacked it up against the steel wall, which rang like a toneless steel drum hit by a broken stick. Rose cut short a gasp with her hand and checked with Equius, who made no obvious reaction one way or another, before allowing herself to fall a half step behind Nepeta. Satisfied, Nepeta smiled up at them both, plump baby-faced dimples and wide eyes, as her moirail picked up where he had left off as though nothing had happened. Nepeta broke her polite silence only to begin picking things out of her teeth with her tongue.

“As I was saying, Rose should be leaping at the chance to be of such an intimate service to the higher classes. To volunteer would be a service to the community and the dwindling nobility.”

“I’m not worried about _him_ ,” Nepeta said with a roll of her eyes. “I just want him to stay with Tavros!”

Rose could not help but notice how Equius’ mouth seemed to hang open even wider as he began to fully absorb what had been thrown in front of him. A trickle of sweat beaded up by his “…What did you say?”

“Yeah, yeah, scandal of the century, we know, Equius!” Nepeta wagged her rat at him. “But Rose, you have to! Kanaya won’t. I already told her to, but she wouldn’t listen when I tried to tell her how cute they are! Rose, they’re so kyoooooooooot!. ‘tavv did i evver tell you that i’m havving such a great time wwith you’ ‘wELL, uH, dID I EVER TELL YOU THAT YOU’RE SO HANDSOME, eRIDAN,’”

Nepeta gestured with her fists as though equipped with puppets. Tavros was the one with the rat hanging out from under him. “‘come here my handsome muscletroll’ ‘bUT WHAT ABOUT FEFERI,’ ‘forget about her my lovve is noww only for you my orange-blooded stallion!’” And she began to mash her fists together, making kissing noises.

Equius wiped away sweat from his face and raised a hand to object, but it was clear from his voice he was not entirely sure whether he actually believed what he was objecting to: “Nepeta, have you… been spying on Lord Ampora’s private affairs?”

“No!” Nepeta said, and hid her fists away from him, rat and all. Looking up at Rose, she blushed, and smiled shyly. She mouthed, “They’re in my head,” to provide a clearly-needed bit of clarification.

“Uh…” Rose was starting to wonder if she was really a part of this conversation. “Nepeta, I’m really not—”

“Rose, please? Please? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee —” Nepeta managed to endear herself to Rose just a little by managing to walk a perfectly straight backwards line as she continued to squeal. “—eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeazzzzzzzzzzzz—" Indeed, she probably would have kept endearing herself if she had not walked straight into the wall when they reached a junction. Jumping with a squeak, Nepeta rounded on the wall as though confused as to where it had come from.

“Nepeta,” Rose tried again. “I told Tavros just this morning that I’ll give it some thought.”

Nepeta held up her hands in surrender. “That’s good enough for me!” she said. A moment later, she realized that despite holding up both hands straight and flat, the rat still dangled from one, snagged by its microscopic blades in the fabric of her glove. She glared at it and gave it a shake, but when it did not detach she clenched her fist and forced it down into her sylladex and then ran off down the hall.

“Oh…” Rose said, “I hope her inventory isn’t full of those things.”

“Agreed,” Equius said. He was towelling himself off, and that was a visual Rose kept with her as she and he reached the transportalizer and she was forced once again to confront the demons of the rift. Sure enough, she was able to laugh them off in the second of transit, except the one, frantic and raving, that spat the same elder word at her over and over. “An inch, an inch!” He sounded just a little like she had imagined Jade’s grandfather sounded like, but mad. She ignored him and pressed on from the Leo gate to the central, where she entered the void again and he through himself at her, shaking her by the shoulders in a metaphysical grapple.

“Reach an inch and take your wand, you fool!” he shouted, to her surprise, in English. “Pick up your wand and live!”

She reappeared in the central lab shaken and nauseous. The Trolls around her did not notice her arrival. They were spread out as it needed, most of them still at their film, including Nepeta who perched her front arms on the back of the couch, but Tavros and Eridan and to Rose’s additional dismay, Vriska were hunched intensely over their monitors. Aradia worked silently in her own corner of the room, and there was no sign of Dave and Terezi. Equius stepped through the transportalizer just behind Rose.

And all at once the lab shook with a violent tremor that rocked it from roof to root.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “[Delaporean wave](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rats_in_the_Walls)” was a bit of a descriptive stretch but I feel obliged to shout out direct influences. Rose lives in a Lovecraftian cage on both the physical and spiritual level but while the latter is of her own making, oddly enough between Aradia and Nepeta the physical exists only at the convenience of her monstrous housemates.
> 
> The idea of Equius grading the kids based on their income, and Rose being considered relatively rich, was not originally mine, but I don’t recall anyone making the same conclusion about Jade.


	6. Chapter 6

The roof fell in, and all Aradia could be sure of was that Tavros had died at once. Equius had been adjusting his legs in hopes of detaching the magnetic clamp but it had not been enough, and though she knew from poor-earned experience that he would never once die easy, he had been too close to the edge of the rubble and no stretch of stone or steel in the lab normally struck so blue. Kanaya's leg was pinned, though the rest of them had gotten out from under the collapse, only for John to be brained by a shaft of rebar. Karkat shouted orders with no direction, Rose looked like she was going to vomit even more than when she had arrived through the transportalizer, and Nepeta would not stop crying, not even to breathe at times, such that she sounded less like someone wailing and more like the breath was being forced out by dim necessity. Each time she pulled away from Jade she made a deeper dent in the ground, in the concrete ankle-deep, and there were claw-marks on the desk. She did not have a target for her tears and no one to contain her, so she lashed out at random. She would have a target soon enough.

"Eridan, you're with Vriska and you're both point. Terezi, get down here and bring Strider with you! Feferi, you and… Harley, get her up I need a flank!" Karkat did not shift from his spot, a step from John, though his eyes wavered towards the hole in the ceiling that reached storeys above. "…'Rezi…" he said, unwilling to force out another shout.

Rose was watching Aradia, hands clutched about her stomach as she squatted useless on the floor, and Karkat met her eyes across the room, as the others scrambled about him, his scythe their standard raised above his head. There were no orders for her. Karkat would never surrender. His scythe was held high, not shaking, but his eyes were sunken and without hope, and Aradia could read that well enough. She raised an arm behind her, waited for a moment for Sollux to take a hint and back away, and then blew a hole in the wall, and headed off as fast as she could handle, back towards Time.

"Where's she going?" she heard Eridan shout behind her.

"Where do you think, shitscarf? Where's your damn gun?'

There was no sign of the demon via her new exit, and no sign was the best sign she could have hoped for considering the circumstances. Aradia headed off as fast as her body could bear back out into the game, away from her allies, into the safe embrace of fast-flowing Time.

* * *

Dave shadow boxed to wait up the time, because anything was better than jumping in short hops out of simple impatience as it only led to everyone being there late. Then again, maybe he just wanted to pretend to hit something. It was one of those days where hitting something would have really, really appealed to him. In fact, why not? It really struck him that hitting something really hard might just start to balance things out a little. There were plenty of rocks on this asteroid, and he could see plenty of other time-locked asteroids if he needed them. Barring that, he could just swing punches at nothing. That seemed best. Straight, hook, kick for good measure, maybe set things straight again in his head. Roundhouse, roundhouse, left, right—

_Clang._

He looked at Aradia past his fist and her palm, and she looked back with her usual blank of emotions.

"…Ow." he greeted.

"Day twenty-two, hour nine," she replied.

"Yeah, me too," he said, shaking the pain out of his hand. "Did you see anything?"

"I was in the lab," she said. "Tavros: dead. Equius: dying. Kanaya has a wound in a major artery and is not receiving proper treatment due to an underestimate of the gravity of her wound. She is suffering in in-admirable silence and will be dead within the minute—"

"Past tense!" Dave snapped.

Aradia shrugged. "Considering we are now in the past all of this has yet again to happen, I'd say the tense is wrong in a different way. Which would you prefer? John's condition is going to devolve into a coma but he'll be all right assuming proper medical care—"

"Oh yes, definitely assuming proper medical care, when he's the closest thing we have to a doctor."

Beyond a frown, Aradia ignored his tone. "Did you see anything?"

"No, I was in Terezi's room," Dave replied, kicking up dirt with the toe of his shoe.

"And she…?"

Dave looked over his shoulder, towards the lab, but mostly to avoid looking her in the eyes. "What's the organ that looks kinda like a sock?"

Though they had lowered their hands, Dave's fist was still more or less in contact with Aradia's palm, and he felt her fingers close around his hand, warm through some ungodly heating system Equius had installed for some reason Dave did not really want to think about. "You're allowed to… be sad, you know," she said in one of her off-tones, not quite the comfort of a living Troll but not a lecture either. It was some tone uniquely her own, forced through vocalizer and ghost together and struggled loose from under the clawed feet of the horrorterrors over the course of the game. Dave turned back to her.

"Look, it's a bad day. And to be honest, it's worse to leave them dying than dead, okay? They never get it. That doesn't mean I don't need a freaking hug and cry about it, though. Would you?"

Aradia's fingers flexed about his fist and he reached up and brushed his thumb to grasp along her finger, but she should not have and did not expect any more from Dave Strider. He pulled away and faced the lab in the distance, stepping atop a high point on the asteroid and set the small thing, no bigger than a large room, spinning slowly on its axle from his momentum. "Let's figure out what happened, shall we?"

His turntables were summoned, and he waited until Aradia stepped beside him and brought out her own. Soon they were fast-forwarding time, each in their own bubble, until the telltale blast shot past. Dave almost missed his stop, but after some fiddling seemed to have gotten the right second again, and set himself just before. He found Aradia waiting for him.

"Day twenty-two, hour nine," she repeated as he arrived. He wobbled, trying to find his feet on an asteroid that, in the hours that had passed since they had gathered for their initial conference, was spinning comparably faster.

"Still me, Aradia," he said, giving it a counter kick.

"Of course it's still you. the purp0se 0f the time stamps is t0 inform the other of when you came from as 0pp0sed t0 the what gene—"

"Yeah," Dave said, reaching over with the table still hovering under his hand to pat her on the arm. "I know what the time stamps are for."

She made a buzzing sound that was the best her vocalizer could approximate for an annoyed grunt. She then turned and pointed off the horizon. "There we are," she said. Dave squinted, setting on the magnify feature of his shades, and saw himself and Aradia dodging and parrying in a fight against what appeared to be nothing but space. Noir had developed the nasty ability to consign himself to an individual's time, which would ensure that he fought opponents alone. Luckily, the Heores of Time had worked out a way to keep in sync with him, though it raised all sorts of ugly questions for the future.

"That's an early one," he concluded.

"Day two, hour sixteen," Aradia replied. "Yet, one of our first battles with no – _ribbit_ – need to go back and correct ourselves." Having to go back and throttle Jack more than once in one day was just a pain, but going back to keep Jack discovering and savaging the lab was more serious business.

"Well that's about to change, the question is just _when_..." Almost as though trying to answer his question, the invisible Jack answered it for him. Past-Aradia broke away in what, from this angle, was clearly the direction of the lab. Beams of green power lanced to follow her, and at once the both observers understood.

"He… he missed?" Dave said, not believing his eyes. "Is that possible? He missed and… four people died?" There was no need for Aradia to reply, for it happened right in front of their eyes. A blast went wide and forever out into space, beyond the chrono-line, beyond the sight of anyone in the battle that – from Dave and Aradia's perspective alone – had occurred six days prior, and the lab ruptured below. A moment later, a wall burst, and out came a tiny dot of past-Aradia and Dave not far behind.

"Can we fix that?" Dave asked as the wall fell further down.

"There… will be a paradox," Aradia said after some analysis.

"How many of those can we take?" Dave asked, knowing the question was hypothetical. Aradia just shook her head.

But even though the lab had been destroyed, the battle did not cease. Past-Aradia, as they had arranged at the time, turned on a point, and reached out towards the next shot, catching it square on her palm and sent it to each side with a burst of energy she had prepared for exactly such a purpose. That was the signal, and as he saw her block instead of dodge, past-Dave struck the demon square across the neck, and it broke off his assault. Satisfied, the two warriors of time vanished into the safety of the past, but behind the former site of past-Aradia, the energy went wild in a spinning conflux. To the horror of the observers, a thread of it shredded through the lab a second time.

"…two paradoxes," Dave muttered. "Poor time stream."

"I will deal with the blasts," Aradia said, "you deal any repercussions my interference causes with the demon, and I'll join you—"

And then the woman's scream hit them, having covered the whole stretch of space between to reach them. As Dave and Aradia scanned the sky for the source, they realized at once that while their past selves had disappeared, for the first time they could recall, Jack had only physically fallen back, not retreated entirely. He advanced on the lab.

"Damn it, no!" Dave shouted toward the lab. He knew that scream.

"I…" Aradia blinked repeatedly, the colour of her eyes flicking from system to system as she analyzed something from her archives. "I hadn't realized…"

"It's all right," Dave said.

She shook her head. Her eyes flicked back and forth so fast it seemed as though they were simply flashing. "It is not, this is the exact 0pp0site of all right…" At last, they stopped back on red, and she shook her head. "They were all over her. They were all over her and I didn't even _think_ …"

Another scream and with a wrench the ruins of the lab lifted into the air and sundered into a thousand heavy boulders as a wave of dark purple light flashed out from out of them and spread in every direction like an uneven sphere of power. The sphere crawled toward them, and the demon crawled towards it, where Rose waited for him.

"Why do all her spells sound like screaming these days?" Dave muttered, not really expecting an answer.

"She is screaming," Aradia said.

Dave shook his head at once. "I've seen her in person when it started to happen," he explained. She just gets a stubborn look on her face, she's definitely not screaming."

"No," said Aradia. "Not present-her."

And at one end of the bubble, purple light struck green and a sickly glow spread abound as power scorched against power. Boulders flew, spells lashed, until the empty universe was filled with the screaming of a grown woman locked in forever-torment as the bubble seeped closer to the edge of the universe. And when it touched, the whole of the Incipisphere heard the biological tear as the universe rent into the void of horrors and split wide like an eyelid, and the eyes looked in. A million eyes, peering in at every angle, the million eyes of a single god, for only one god of many minds had any interest in the affairs of the little things within. They watched as Jack engaged with their servant below.

Both Dave and Aradia turned away at once. "Don't even look at the edges of your glasses," Aradia cautioned. "even an inch of the reflexi0n…"

"Yeah, not interested in the gibbering insanity game."

"We should go," she cautioned.

"No!" Dave said, surprised by his own urgency. "You go. Look, I understand the crazy eye-stare, but… can you imagine how fast that thing can move? If it wants to grab Rose, pull her out with it, even the death of the timeline won't stop it!" Aradia turned toward him, trying to gauge on his face if he meant exactly what she thought he meant. After a moment of her probing response, he kept his straight face. "Go ahead," he said. "I'll catch up."

"Strider…" she said, at what for her accounted for a whisper. "I'm not going to cover you all day against a demon and just walk away when you've got a different kind of trouble."

Dave did not really know what to say in response to that. His mouth just hung open for a moment. As he weighed searching for words and shrugging off coolly, the purple wave of power reached them at last and crawled over them. It pulled him and Aradia into a world of dark imaginings painted over the real. A drop of burning cold slipped down Dave's neck and spine, as a hissing swirl of whispers filled his ears interrupted only by the screams of the magical fight. He could not imagine what Aradia was going through, but did not for one second think that the horrorterror looking in would have excluded her. He was right.

"Look at the both of you. You look like you're about to drop. Nothing about this says you can't at least sit down, you know."

"Hey…" Dave said, trying with all his might not to even glance in his friend's direction for fear of the reflection of the elder god. "Do you… see an alcoholic on a barcalounger?"

"Is a barcalounger a type of chair?"

"…Yes, then," Dave said, wondering exactly why Rose's mother had just appeared in front of him, in expensive-looking furniture, surrounded by eyes on stalks that had sprouted from the asteroid like reeds.

"I'm serious, you know," said Mrs. Lalonde, swirling a martini in one hand. Her voice was distorted, just enough to be wrong, but even then sounded nothing like he had imagined. "You're both about to be off patching up all the damage to this poor universe, the last thing you really need is stress."

Dave shrugged. "Lady, I'm pressed for time, what do you want?" Dave asked.

"Can't a woman be good natured?"

There was a scratching sound, just to the chair's right, which Dave managed to catch despite the sounds emanating from the horrors that he was blocking out for dear sanity. He looked and saw the tip of a sword that reached into the terror bubble, cut off in its middle and drawing a pattern in the ground. The sword continued its pattern, passing beyond the bubble where it vanished and was unable to touch the dirt, but those very borders followed it and soon it reappeared, in the hand of his brother.

"And as soon as you all finish your patch job," the woman continued, "you'll have to plop down to rest right in the middle of the day at that lab, and goodness knows you'll be back at it only a few hours after noon. The demon is completely relentless."

"Yeah, yeah," said Bro, and Dave was taken immediately aback. Bro sounded nothing like he should, not in the slightest. He tossed his sword to the other hand. "We get it," he said to the woman. "You're 'Sloth.' And it's not working on these workaholics." He snapped up the martini, which tore away from Rose's mother as though her hand were made of smoke, and both she and the bacalounger faded away into the snarling hellscape about them. More things were starting to grow on the asteroid, natural things that looked like they had been born with the pall of death already crisscrossing their every part.

"Oh, I get it," Dave said. "You're part of that hundred-storey octopus back there, aren't you?" Dave pointed over his shoulder, toward the rift and elder god beyond. "And do you realize you sound nothing like my bro?"

"Oh, I'm just me, same as her. Many minds, but the same mind in the end. We're just all trying things from different angles is all, using whatever Rose gives us to work with. She's cute, Dave."

"Sure, Rose is okay, but if you're trying to set up some sort of mind game—"

" _Her_ , Dave." The demon Bro tilted his head towards Aradia and took another step closer to Dave, who responded not by drawing a weapon but by setting his hands again on the timetables. The demon stopped. "'Course, it's too bad that she's a robot. Equius did do his best but you've got to admit there's a little something lacking for the imagination… or the hands… in the middle of the night."

Dave just laughed at him. "Man, my bro could really teach you a thing or two about messing with heads. What kind of god are you?"

And the fake bro laughed right along with him. "That's some ego you have there. A teenaged girl's inner Lust walks up to you and you think he's there to tempt… _you_."

Dave glanced worriedly towards Aradia but before he could even take her in he had been cuffed by the side of her hand. "He's trying to get you to look at the reflection!" Aradia hissed at him. Dave caught his breath and, in the shade of her hand, looked up at her face and saw no sign that the demon was getting to her at all. The avatar of the elder god clucked his tongue down at Dave.

But then there was a new screaming, one that seemed to come straight out of the fake Bro. It clashed with the woman's scream coming from Rose, but was the scream of a girl, shouting out in pain alone as Jack pressed his advantage.

"Ooh, tick tock, tick tock." The fake Bro shook his head. "I'd give her about twenty seconds, wouldn't you, Maid of Time?"

Dave decided not to even entertain that thought. "You're leaving your avatar here pretty far from the void," he said, taking back to his feet from the crouch he had taken after Aradia's blow. Her hand stayed in place next to his temple. "How would you feel if we shut this timeline and see how you deal with a split mind?"

The avatar shook his head. "It's true, you could try to destroy part of my mind by ending this timeline. But you'd both have to leave at the exact… same… moment. Or I'll catch the other. Your solidarity's not actually helping you very much." The younger scream pierced out of the Bro-demon. Rose's scream. Rose, howling in a way Dave had not heard before, though he had been forced to hear her die a hundred times. The demon lowered its shades to look at him over the tops, and Dave saw that his eyes sizzled, literal coals in their sockets. "You should really see this one. I think I can manage that."

"N-not cool man." Dave did not need a visual. It was already running through his head. He had seen too many horrible deaths not to imagine them if the situation called for it, and Rose's voice, like all of his best friends', had been burned into his mind. There was no mistaking her suffering. What love could provide to hear unspoken troubles in a friend's wavering voice wrought nightmares out of true suffering.

There was everything he could do, an infinity of opportunities, and it was becoming harder and harder to remember that they were all dead ends. No way to face Jack Noir single-handed. No way to face the Horrors. The only thing keeping the entire tableau in place was the immortal's worry that they might end the timeline. If he moved, Rose would be plucked out to become the woman screaming in her spells, to suffer forever out of space and time. But Aradia, with her hand on her music boxes and the other blocking Dave's vision, pinched his ear gently between her littlest fingers, and he kept his hand firm.

Then, from the avatar, the screams ceased with a snap that cut through him, deadening. Jack had won, Rose was dead, and the timeline could die with her. Rose, and all of his friends, in the main timeline would be safe. It cut the flow of emotion in its tracks, and he looked up at his Bro, who simply smirked as the bubble of purple receded into nothing, and said: "You lose."

And the avatar looked out from beyond the patches that had formed in it as the bubble fell away. "Did we?"

They stood alone for a moment, as the world around them began to fall into a pall of hideous green emanating from Jack Noir. "Come on," Aradia said. "She's not with them. You did it." He nodded, and together, she guiding his hand, they rewound time until they were once again safe on the tiny rock, alone, with the lab standing far beyond them intact and silent. As far as the rest of the universe was concerned, nothing else had ever happened.

Dave's head fell forward as she let him go. "…Aradia, about… what he said."

"I'm not worried about it," she said. "i sp0ke with the h0rr0rterrors when i was a living teenager as well i kn0w what they can say" She held out a hand to him, which he took. "And I know that if you had any feelings for me you would be more direct with me than some have been in the past, as I would be for you."

In spite of himself, Dave laughed. "I was going to say thank you, first."

"Oh," said the robot, touching a hand to her face. "Then… I suppose he did get under my skin." Dave smiled, trying to look as charming as he could, perhaps to compensate for moments before in another timeline, and she flicked his hand away. "Let's go. We have work to do. After that, Terezi will wipe that smile off your face for me."

"Ooh… right," Dave said.

"What is it? Is something the matter with Terezi?"

"It's nothing. Nothing that stands up to anything that just happened."

And they set their hands on their timetables and disappeared, to set things right again.

* * *

Rose reappeared in the central lab shaken and nauseous. The Trolls around her did not notice her arrival. They were spread out as it needed, most of them still at their film, including Nepeta who perched her front arms on the back of the couch, but Tavros and Eridan and to Rose's additional dismay, Vriska were hunched intensely over their monitors. Aradia worked silently in her own corner of the room, and there was no sign of Dave and Terezi. Equius stepped through the transportalizer just behind Rose, and immediately set to work on Tavros, muttering as he went, as Tavros tried to continue his conversation on the side. It was a sorry display, an ordinary day.

"How's the movie?" Rose asked Jade after a few minutes of deciding what to do. She kept an eye on Tavros as he was repaired, but Tavros was too busy monitoring his computer like his life depended on it to really talk.

"They're pretty good!" she said, passing Rose the popcorn. "I mean, I don't really get them all the time, but I get that she's trying to save him from exposing himself to the empress so that he'll be culled. I mean, I don't get why but that's still what's going on."

"If this is anything like the ones on earth?" Rose said, "There might not be an actual reason."

She looked around the couch. Feferi watched with continued interest, Karkat with big, puffy eyes. Nepeta, who had never seen it, chewed on her hat enough that if she was scared she might very well bite through the thing. She stopped only to yank Feferi back down to her seat when she tried to leave during a "good part", though Rose suspected she had been stopping her from yet again going up to visit Aradia, judging by the smile she flashed at Karkat, unrewarded. Kanaya watched the film with only half her attention, still distant, and John last of all sat with the biggest grin on his face Rose had seen since the day he had slipped Karkat a joy buzzer.

"Hah! Oh my god Tavros, could you be more _adorable_?"

Rose shuddered. Vriska, and she could not have been more cutting in how she said it. She turned slowly back towards the room, and saw Tavros turning his monitor away from a curious Equius. Eridan snarled at her from across the room. "Vris, don't make me come over there."

"I'd love that, Eridan."

Eridan's eyes went wide. "Would you? …Really?"

Kanaya and Sollux, who had otherwise been able to ignore the whole affair, slowly looked up and stared with incredulity. Rose was aghast, and it was only worse how he did not seem to realize how he sounded. She set her head in her hands and hoped that maybe that would hide her from the world.

But then the roof shook above them. They all jumped in their spots and looked straight up, no one with more urgency than Aradia. They waited, wondering exactly what it was they had heard when suddenly the muffled sound of voices picked up on the floors above them. It continued until the point that everyone was listening, even Gamzee, who had otherwise slept through even the shaking. The kept listening until for a moment, it appeared directly below them, in the transport hub, and then last of all when it picked up at full volume right in the middle of the lab.

"You are shit! I don't believe you, you little piece of… argh! This isn't over. You just wish this was over. 1 W1LL M4K3 YOU HURT FOR TH1S"

Rose had seen many terrible things in the games, horrifying things, but nothing had struck her as dangerous as Terezi did at that moment, as she corralled Dave against a desk with her one finger. She was covered in dirt and dried paint, but she emanated pure Troll rage in every muscle, and though her hands were bare Rose would not have said much for Dave's chances if she decided to attack him bare handed. A teal streak cut through the grime on one side of her face.

"YOU DONT H4V3 TO… damn it. You don't have to even put up with me! But once you've fucked with my feelings, it's over, Strider! And it is over!"

Rose took a check of the room and was appalled to see first Vriska, who looked like Chrismas had just dropped into her lap, and then Karkat, whose face had gone from weeping over the plight of his fictional stars to ecstatic joy. Dave, on the other hand, had said nothing in his defence but to raise his hands up between he and Terezi.

Terezi glared at him for quite a while, before it seemed that she felt she had said all she had said, and simply whispered "FUCK YOU" before turning about and leaving via the transportalizer. The room was left in silence, a sepulchral pall that hung over all of them. Dave looked about the room, and cast a meaningful look towards Aradia before settling on the couch area. He met Rose's eyes in particular for a particular look she could not make out with his shades in the way. It was Vriska who took it upon herself to break the silence.

"Oh my _god_ Strider! What did you _do_?"

Dave picked himself up and dusted himself off, as though trying to regain his cool. "Not much," he said, "I just took a friend's advice to have a talk with Terezi."

Rose's heart sank and she fell back against the couch with a thump. Vriska, it would seem, thought this was the funniest thing she had ever heard, and began to break out in a fit of Terezian laughter.

"Hah hah hah," Dave said, bland as could be. "And I'm out."

"Dave, wait!" Jade shouted.

"Yeah, bro!" John said, scrambling to take to his feet. Dave ignored both of them, but they followed him through the portal. The room was again silent, except for Vriska, and the low sound of Gamzee's horns as he settled back in for his late-morning nap. Rose turned her astonished face up to Kanaya, but her interest was immediately drawn past, towards Karkat, who had laid back down and restarted the movie. She took angrily to her feet, and Kanaya slapped Karkat across the shoulder.

"What?" he said. "What's with those looks?"

"Aren't you going to…?" Kanaya suggested.

"What? …Terezi?" He looked back and forth between them. "You guys are nuts. Look, look at this this way. You want me to go up there and go 'There, there you big blubbering idiot,' but guess what? Terezi is _not my matesprit_. No no! I know exactly what you're going to say. But the fact is, she and I have been on the rocks for weeks now. Big, sharp pointy rocks!"

He held up a hand flat against the other's fingers to indicate. "Now, if I go up there right now after she's been having a fight, she is going to press me down on one of those rocks," he did so with his hand, 'impaling' it on the fingers, "until I'm feeding Nepeta's rats in a trough! Now, the alternative is for me to sit down here, _basking_ in the idea that Terezi and Strider _hate_ each other! In the first scenario, I get screwed over, while in the second scenario, my life is _stu-pendous_! This is the best news I've had since you punks showed up! You actually want me to go up and step in it?"

"…I'll go," Rose said, and she sighed. "This is my fault too. I shouldn't have said anything to Dave, I…" She looked up and saw the transportalizer glaring at her in the distance. "I'm just going to take the stairs, is all." She stared at the teleporter, wondering exactly what it was that was bothering her. She reached out a hand and brushed Kanaya's shoulder "I'll see you tonight," she said.

It took forever to actually walk anywhere in the lab. It was not built for that sort of access, except for maintenance, and the maintenance hallways had not been well maintained in their own right. In time, Rose found her way into Terezi's sector and began the long climb of the stairs. As she went, she followed the half-finished mural Terezi and Dave had been drawing, which equal parts impressed and detracted her. As she went, she eventually came upon the end of the mural and the sound of the crack both. Embedded knee deep in the floor, along a massive gash in the floor, was Terezi's cane. Rose was not entirely sure she wanted to go past that point, the literal line in the ground between her and Terezi. She could not imagine the sheer game-driven force that had gone into the swing. She was starting to regret coming up here with no information. What on earth _had_ Dave done?

Terezi sat perched on the opposite edge of the lab's roof, one hand limp in her lap and the other held clutched to her face, grasping over mouth and eyes, though her fingers were pried apart enough to reveal a shadow-cast socket and the faintest outline of a scorched eye beneath. Terezi lifted her hand and took a sniff of the air as she heard Rose approach. Her face screwed tight with anger at first, but it was lost in a breath, when an uncontrolled look of misery passed over her face, and all she ultimately did to communicate with Rose was to look in the opposite direction. Warily, Rose stepped forward and sat down beside her, legs overhanging the rock below. Above them the sky struck black in all directions.

After a time, Terezi must have realized there was nothing she could do, and she let her hand fall down to touch the other tip of her shades in her hands, fiddling with the arms and shaking her head. Those simple gestures, eyes shut, only came in extended moments of calm, but most of the time she was bracing. She would clutch her glasses towards her lap and flinch, trying to gently suffocate her own cries and block her tears. They sat there as the minutes passed by, night immeasurable, as Rose made no move further away or closer, save to set her hand beside her on Terezi's side, and Terezi made no attempt to shoo her away.

And then a pale tear slipped past, and in surprise, Terezi's lips parted and she took in a gasping cry, and shook from head to toe, shades clutched so close Rose thought she might break them. Her arm came up to cover her mouth and she pushed it all down again, as the tear fell down her cheek and out of sight. Once she had buried it deep, she spoke at last.

"So what did that bastard say as soon as my back was turned?"

Her voice was incredibly rasp. The young Trolls had always struck Rose as a little deep-throated, even the females, but crying had turned Terezi's piercing voice to a rumble that would have done her well in a future in court.

"Which one?" Rose asked. "The one who just pissed you off or the one who didn't come as soon as he knew what happened?"

Terezi laughed, not her usual cackle if only because it had cut into barks of laugh and cry intermingled, and she soon called it off. "You really know how to cut to the heart of it, don't you? Maybe if you knew not to say it after you might just be a pathetic auspistice instead of…" But whatever she had been trying to do was swept up in a sudden cry that she tried at once to disguise as another broken laugh, and turned away, and soon enough, had began to cry in earnest.

Rose reached over, to put an arm around Terezi, who without her normal personality suddenly seemed very small indeed. Terezi swiped away her arm at once and with no break in her voice snapped: "Don't _touch_ me!" Terezi gave Rose a look that asked just where Rose had gotten the impression that hugs were even on the table. "Dammit, don't you know you look like him?" Terezi had opened her eyes to shoot her the glare, and it took all Rose's reserves to keep from backing away at the sight of them. Like two open wounds on her face, tinted in a faint teal of her tears, shooting a look of anger at her, it threw Rose completely off whatever silly plan that might have occurred to her before she sat down.

Terezi closed her eyes and scooted a step away, taking ahold of her own arm, just a normal girl again. _No,_ Rose thought. _Don't start that, Rose. Don't say 'normal.' You know better._ Her cheeks were tinted green-blue, teeth that bit her lip could tear the flesh of Rose's arm, and she was still a teenager, wasn't she? But it was hard.

"You shouldn't," Terezi said.

"Shouldn't… what?"

"Vriska," Terezi said, spitting. "I know he's asked you. Don't. Take it back if you have to. You have no idea what you're dealing with."

Terezi shook, this time with rage. Rose was astonished to see it. Thanks to the tears, she had seen Terezi go on longer than she had ever remembered her going without her tone: that manipulative, charismatic sneer she loved to use when things were going just her way. But this anger, callous and unprepared, was the opposite of that tone.

"'We should be partners,'" she recited, "'Oh man, you're the best moirail ever, did you know that?' FUCK YOU, YOU…" And suddenly Rose was able to place her tone: Karkat's. Terezi seemed to probe her memory for something Karkat would say to Vriska, but came up blank. "Murdering innocents on my watch. Pushing Tavros off a cliff on a blackcrush _impulse_ , and then just when I'm trying to pull everything together, Aradia… Aradia…" She shook her head, again and again. "Tell Kan she's an idiot! Picking up Vriska right after that just because she felt a little flushed one afternoon and didn't know how to say. Fucking idiot." Terezi looked up again, straight in Roses's eyes, arms clutched around her chest in a protective hug. "Don't help her, Lalonde. It's been perigrees and it's still just right _there_. I thought it was gone but now it's just... Everyone and their consorts has a reason to hate Vriska. But she doesn't _deserve_ someone to hate."

Terezi returned to looking out over the edge when all of a sudden, she laughed again. "I don't even hate him!" she shouted. "Just my luck. That _shit_ comes up here and says 'Wait, aren't we just friends?' under fifteen levels of sarcasm and irony. 'I never thought you meant it, I thought you were just playing.' 'No, Terezi, I can't just...'" That break was hers, the quote just fell apart. "'Of course I love you, I just… I don't love you like _that_.' Well what the fuck did you mean, you big dope? Just my luck." And she sat still again, curling her legs up to her chest.

"So..." Rose said, not sure if she could truly approach even in words. She shifted the blame as far away from Terezi as she could. "Dave got his signals crossed pretty badly."

"Thought I had something there," Terezi muttered, so into her own lap that Rose was not sure if it was meant as a response. "I thought I had something back home. Law strong as a rock. And I had Karkat, and... Nepeta and..." She shook her head. "But now I don't have Karkat. And that was okay. And Nepeta doesn't want this kind of heavy stuff, and that's fine too. But now there's no coolkid. And the only law left is _him_." Terezi pointed up in the direction of lost Skaia.

"I'd hardly call Jack 'the law'," Rose said.

"What's closer to the law than who lives and dies?" Terezi mused, almost neutral. "And the rest of us? When everything else is cut, we just have to deal with it." A sniffle, but then a revelation: "...Do you know why I came up here?" she asked. "It's because when I was little, and I was sad, I used to go up into my hive, and I would talk to my lusus. And even though she's been gone, I just had to come up." She looked out over the horizon and shook her head, seemingly at the wrongness of it all. "I used… to read her stories, once she had taught me how to read. I used to have this one…" Terezi held up her hands casually to indicate a book, about the exaggerated length and height of a children's picture book on Earth. "It was about this Troll, who lived way back before we had interstellar ships.

"One day, the Troll's kismesis dies fighting in the wars. And even as he just gets this news, his auspistice comes in and tells him that he's leaving, because he has no more reason to stay. And the guy is so upset that his hobby, these, uh, woodcarvings that show up all over the book, just start to fall behind. And his matesprit says 'You used to be full of so many ideas and…' and… 'we used to make so many beautiful things together, but now you just sit and do nothing.' And after a few days, she leaves. And he goes looking for a new matesprit, and a new kismesis but no one wants him because he's so sad, and in the end the drones come."

Terezi still looked breathless from her crying but her narration continued with a certain sense of grand theatrics despite her limited audience. She even had, or had recovered in the drama, a special voice for the next character: "And his moirail comes to him and says: 'I have to go. You've made a fool of yourself and I won't have any part of this.' And so he's all alone, as the drones go from door to door. There's no one for him in the whole world except his carvings, so he looks through them and remembers all the days when he was strong and happy. And finally, he sees… he sees the drones through his window, coming over from the next house, and…"

She blinked out at the sky. "And he goes out to meet them with a smile on his face."

The ending took Rose by surprise. She had previously been picturing something akin to one of her own children's books, the kind these sort of deep stories had, always with the lovingly painted set of pictures, but the moral struck her too hard to belong to that set. But as Terezi paused in a certain sense of relish, it sank in for Rose that, for a Troll, that was almost certainly what the sort of book it was, an important life lesson bundled tight with detailed pictures to draw the eye and simple words to guide the reader.

"And I never understood, when I was little, why someone like that that would fall aside so easily. Why he'd get so depressed because of their kismesis. Why he'd let his life fall apart when he was so strong in the end. He died like a _Troll_. And now…" She looked up again, towards Skaia, and the doom unseen, and began to cry anew. "And now I don't know how he did it alone!"

Rose started. "Terezi, we're not—"

"Yeah, I know," Terezi said. "We've all seen you running around, testing the w-waters, like you've still got time to live it from start to finish." She sniffed and wiped her nose. "Call me a pessimist. I just wanted someone to be there with me. Doesn't everyone want someone's hand to hold at the end of the world? But I guess that's past. Your friend and I just don't see eye to nose, I guess. And Karkat… well I think the only one that doesn't realize he's a lost cause is him. And without V-Vriska… I'm all alone."

"But… Terezi," Rose said, touching the other girl's arm. Terezi looked up at her, red eyes leering out from under heavy lids. "I… it's not just optimism. Not on its own. I can't say anything about where you'll be in your life when Jack Noir comes for us, but haven't you seen? Didn't he tell you anything either?"

"Tell me what?"

"Aradia and… and Dave. They've been going out, day in and out, to buy us more hours, days… Terezi, didn't you ever wonder what we were doing sitting here week after week?" Rose stretched out her hand toward the voice. "Did you think he was admiring the scenery? They're not just going to let us go if we're going to die. Not like that. We might still get out of here. There might still be a chance, a good chance, to…"

Whispering voices calling at the back of her memory, the voice the elder gods made sound like Jade's grandfather in her mind, but Rose snuffed them. She would not listen to that tempter again, not when there were other ways to seize what he promised. "…to live."

Terezi was taken utterly aback, and she froze, stock-still, until she turned to look back to the sky, and out. Her eyes stared dark as the sky she could see through other means, and her arms slid back, lying part-way to the ground, as if she wanted to see the whole sky, and nothing came to meet her gaze. She shook her head, eyes closing as she took full to her back and lay in the dust and rubble. Reaching up, she brushed her hair out of her face as her an indiscernible look crossed her lips.

"…Rose?" she asked.

"Yes?"

"Do you think you ever… stop liking someone? I mean, do you think you ever look at them and say 'I guess his eyes aren't really that cute' or, 'You know, he doesn't make me laugh any more.'"

Rose was not honestly sure what to say. "Maybe. If they change."

"If they change…" Terezi said, like a sigh. "Don't you wish… you could just go up the next day and say 'I'm sorry! It was all a mistake! I was pale for you all along! We'll be the best moirails, the b-best…'" Terezi reached up and wiped a tear from her cheek, in the process replacing her shades.

Rose shook her head. "'But I hope we can still be friends.'"

"Is that what you humans say?" Terezi asked. She had sat up, and was slowly taking to her feet.

"Maybe we shouldn't," Rose admitted.

"Heh," Terezi said. She was grinning, but ruefully, and Rose looked up at a wary mouth full of shark-teeth wide and terrifying. Rose felt her stomach sink as she looked up at Terezi and her sad eyes still not hiding the truth for all her marvelous façade.

"Do you…" Rose said, eyes lowering as she did. "Do you think you might take a chance to talk to him?"

Terezi's smile faded back behind her lips. She reached into her sylladex and pulled out a piece of paper, which she looked at, sighed, and crumpled it into a ball. Then, she looked down at Rose, hefted the ball and bounced it gently off of Rose's face.

"Bonk," she said on impact, and turned to leave the roof behind.

Rose reached over and took up the wad of paper and unfolded it carefully, discovering a print out from a laser printer, with a pen signature indecipherable in the corner. She leaned in to read the contents. She wanted to laugh but really, the whole thing just caught in her throat.

"…okay, TURN the spoon first you shit…"

Rose returned to the ground the way she had came, and made her way back to the lab. She ignored everyone that talked to her, pressing on without a word. Rose had never really imagined what it would be like to break up with someone, but she was imagining now. She could only imagine Terezi's hurt if she saw Dave in the next few days, and could not imagine what nonsense Dave would go to bury the same because she knew that when Dave said he was your friend, he meant it so adamantly that it could never have been a lie. There was nothing to bridge that gap now.

Terezi had wanted some support when things were at their worst. But there was no one to do that if they did not fill a quadrant, and now Dave was out, and Karkat was one the exact rocks he had predicted. Had it had to come to this? Had it had to have even begun? If Terezi had been a human, wouldn't she and Dave have had a chance to be friends? If Dave had been a Troll, would they have hit a heart or a diamond running? All the time they had been together, they had been at simple odds with one another, assuming a default they had not shared. When Jack came, Dave would have her, John and Jade, and for all Rose knew, Aradia on some level. Terezi, as it stood, would have no one. Rose wished she could change that without spitting on the Troll's culture, or her own. No one would win for that.

But maybe she had too much of Kanaya in her after all, because Rose could not find it in her to sit still. Not while there was still work she could do. Not if she could still, just maybe, build some bridge, bring some joy. Not if she could be the one to help someone else hold hand in hand together at the end of the world.

"Tavros," she said to him, just above a whisper. "Are you maybe still interested in having a little talk about Eridan?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since this is the last we’ll be seeing of Dave for a few chapters, I just wanted to say as I should have done in the first place how much I owe to Raequiem’s [PTSD](http://archiveofourown.org/works/129524). Dave’s ability to tell the time out of his head is straight from there, and while I came up with the idea of him operating to keep everyone from their doom independent of PTSD, it was done better there.
> 
> Did I just imply that Trolls have no barcaloungers but do have alcoholics?


	7. Recap #1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This recap was introduced on request after Chapter 6 but I didn't quite stop at just doing a recap... However, at a later date, I moved it so that it followed Chapter 5, considering its stronger chapter break, and moved the Chapter 6 recap ahead. Don't adjust your set.

* * *

  
**== > END OF ACT 1**   


  


* * *

_Scene: Close up on a laptop computer. A Troll boy with black hair sits down in front of it, his reflection shining back at us on the screen._

KARKAT [speaking voice]: Email, you’re my world, my heart, my soul. If you ever leave, email…

 _He types: “kk_email.exe”_

KARKAT: …you’d take away everything that’s good in my life!

 _He hits Enter and an email appears, which he recites:_

KARKAT: Dear Karkat, How do you type with unbridled rage issues? Crapfully yours, Zoosmell Pooplord.

 _KARKAT slams his hand down on the desk next to him, making the laptop jump._

KARKAT: Argh, how do you pus-sucking freaks keep getting my email? “Dear Karkat, how do you type with rage issues? Dear Karkat, my brothers keep telling me your legs are made of semitransparent adhesive strips, is this true?” I think we all know what’s going to happen to this one.

CRABTOP: CULLED!

KARKAT: That’s better. Now, let’s see if there’s any good ones in here, why don’t we? Okay now…

 _He calls up another email._

KARKAT: Dear Karkat, I’m having trouble following A Hand in Holding Hands. Could you make up some sort of diagram, or recap to help me follow along to Chapter 6? Thanks, arsenicCatnip from— Wai-wai-waaaaait a second.

Jump back out to mid-zoom. Karkat turns to the right.

KARKAT: Hey, stupid! I’m over here!

 _NEPETA walks on screen left. Her trenchcoat and catskin hat have been painted over yellow with black spots. She stands in front of KARKAT, grinning, and drops do her knees._

NEPETA: [Meh, Karkat, meh!](http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail130.html)

KARKAT: Oh, sweet Jebus. Nepeta, what are you doing?

NEPETA: Me meh meme meh.

KARKAT: Holy crap, I want nothing to do with your stupid roleplaying. Did you send me this retard email or—

NEPETA: Meh!

KARKAT: Okay, look, we can do this the easy way, or we can do this with my boot. Did you, or did you not, send me this ridiculous email about one of your ridiculous fan things that I don’t care about?

NEPETA: …Yes.

KARKAT: But why would you do that? I don’t give a flying crap about your alt-blood Trolls or your grubfics or your forum adventures. The last time I even went near the fan forums was because I wanted to see whether it would be the RomArt nerds or the LJ KinkMeme dorks requesting the first piece of Jade and me stuff after my last pesterlog.

NEPETA: …mehhhh?

KARKAT: Yeah, we’re not talking about that. EVER. Look, if I read this stupid fic and summarize it for you, will you take off that stupid costume and stop making those obnoxious noises?

NEPETA: Hmm… meh!

 _She jumps up on KARKAT and hugs him, smearing yellow paint everywhere._

KARKAT: Uck, ug, gah! Gerrof!

 _He pushes NEPETA to the ground and she waddles off on her knees. KARKAT returns to his crabtop and we to the close-up._

KARKAT: Better get this over with… The longer I spend hanging around webcomic enthusiasts, the more the room starts to smell like… Schlock Mercenary. Crabtop! To the deepest pits of despair!

 _He starts typing in “forum_get.exe” and the screen fades to black. When we return, the Crabtop is displaying the final lines of aHiHH Chapter 6. Karkat falls dead asleep on the keyboard before our eyes._

KARKAT: …zzzzzzzZZZ… mm…. m-Mother 3… Eugh, I’m up! Argh! Holy crap. I haven’t seen so many romantic mistakes in the same body of work since The Second Prequel To The Already Beloved Trilogy Of Science Fiction Movies Involving Laser Swords That Were Popular In Your Genetic Donor’s Generation. Nepeta! Get your tail over here so we can get this over with.

 _NEPETA appears beside him, also reflected in the screen. She is no longer wearing a hat, has Gamzee’s face paint all over her face, and is wearing disgusting yellow gloves. She smiles at KARKAT but does not say a word._

KARKAT: Ugh, why do you smell like… you know what? Never mind. I figure the faster I get this over with, the easier my life will get. Look, why don’t you consult this series of highly comprehensive diagrams created by someone with thoroughly impressive artistic and graphic design skills while I just transcribe plain text to the peoples listening in at home?

 _NEPETA pauses, shrugs, and picks up the stack of diagrams Karkat produces with a dirty, hand-held spade._

KARKAT: As a wise man once said: let’s get this train-wreck a rollin’!

* * *

Hi, it’s Skaian. So this fic begins just short of month after the TROLLS and the KIDS are united in the Troll’s SESSION. We assume this actually happens without much TROUBLE but that everyone still went through some degree of CHARACTER and WARDROBE DEVELOPMENT. Somewhere along the way, Rose “The Seer of Light” Lalonde and Kanaya “The Sylph of Space” Maryam have an extended exchange of information they remember as their EIGHTEENTH CONVERSATION. This pesterlog makes an appearance from time to time in direct relation to what happens to be going on in the fic’s present day. It also shows us what Rose already knows and how it helps her through what’s going on now. So far, the pesterlog has been both contiguous and chronological so you don’t need to worry about that.

In this old conversation, we learn early on that Trolls in this fic CANNOT or DO NOT form FRIENDSHIPS as implied by a few throwaway lines in canon not really intended to be taken this seriously. Instead, their relationships to others are restricted to the FOUR QUADRANTS along with what amounts to BUSINESS ASSOCIATES or PLATOON BUDDIES. Because of these restrictions to their relationships, Rose offers to pursue a relationship with Kanaya when they finally meet. Unfortunately, they have yet to decide what sort of relationship that should be and as a result it has become INCREDIBLY AWKWARD.

We learn that the twelve Trolls were originally united under Feferi “Witch of Life” Peixes to help her insurrection against HER IMPERIAL MAJESTY OF THE ETERNAL THUNDER. That eventually became sort of redundant when they learned they were instead going to play a game with one another until their planet was wiped out by meteors and the Empresses killed by a GLUB. Now they have been trapped in a PARADOX LABORATORY by a time-manipulating DEMON whose identity was EDITED INTO THE FIC AT A LATER DATE, and are trying to survive there with their new human friends until the EPIC FINAL FLASH. The Troll’s lack of a common and immediate goal is starting to tell on them.

The only reason the demon has not reached the kids is thanks to the efforts of Dave “Knight of Time” Strider and Aradia “Maid of Time” Medigo, who is still a robot because the idea of her EXPLODING had not yet hit canon when I started typing the first chapter. These two have been manipulating THE FLOW OF TIME to keep the demon from reaching TIMELESS SPACE and the others, which means they are RARELY AROUND. (Technically, the fic so far covers a period where they have been around quite a bit, which is a bit of an accident on my part.) No one else seems to know this except for Rose and Karkat “Knight of Blood” Vantas, and the two warriors of time seem happy to leave it that way. We also learn that Rose has abandoned her WEAPONS OF ELDRITCH ORIGIN because people she trusts had previously held some sort of intervention. She is not finding this very easy because the elder gods keep speaking to her whenever she uses the transportalizer, making uncharacteristic FAUSTIAN BARGAINS picking at her WEAKNESSES. It was later briefly implied that there is ONLY ONE elder god of many minds actually interested in this affair though it has NOT YET BEEN NAMED.

To make matters worse, three of the Trolls (Vriska “Thief of Light” Serket, Tavros “Page of Breath” Nitram and Eridan “Prince of Hope” Ampora) have begun to show signs of a TROLL PUBERTY I JUST MADE UP called “post-wriggling penultimate moult.” This makes them SHED OCCASIONALLY and PRETTY ANGRY at times and is related to a big row that starts the fic off in Chapter 1. We later learned that this fight was taking place because Eridan and Tavros were having MATESPRIT-STYLE DATES the characters have taken to calling “going outside” because outside is the only place they can go for privacy that is in any way exotic. For some reason this made Vriska very angry and she began to threaten Tavros into giving her more information. She also came to casually threaten to kill Eridan, seemingly sparking the long-lost MUTUAL HATRED between them. Rose stepped forward to pull them apart, not knowing that mediating in a relationship-related fight was seen by the Trolls as an attempt to AUSPISTICE them, which they took with mixed feelings.

A few days later, filled in on her situation, Rose is woken by Eridan, who wants her to auspistice between he and Vriska in a new kismessitude. Along her way to ditch him, Rose meets several of her other friends, and we learn that Dave and Terezi “Seer of Mind” Pyrope’s relationship is still very close and bothers Karkat to the point of starting a fight, not that this is entirely uncharacteristic for Karkat. Ignoring Eridan, Rose goes to the COMPUTER LAB where most of the plot takes place. You might have recognized it from ALTERNIABOUND. There Rose gets a similar offer from Tavros, who wants her to help him with his relationship with Eridan. Apparently, that relationship has fallen by the wayside in Eridan’s excitement at another chance with Vriska, but Rose is unwilling to work with Eridan even in a matesprit context.

Rose runs a few SIDE PLOTS that are discussed DOWN THE PAGE, and also runs into Kanaya, who acting strange and depressed for reasons Rose cannot determine. Hoping to cheer up her partner-of-undecided-relation, Rose invites her to meet later in the evening, not knowing just how much is going to happen between the morning and then. For instance, at one point the protagonists are actually half slaughtered by the demon, though Dave and Aradia prevent this from having ever happened. In the process of this time altering, they learn about Rose’s trouble with the OUTER GOD and learn that she is capable of OPENING THE UNIVERSE ITSELF TO ADMIT IT. Rose’s personal temptations take the form of THE KID’S GUARDIANS who are otherwise not in this fic. Though Aradia and Dave intend to leave the timeline dead, the two masters of time are forced to wait as Rose is BRUTALLY KILLED in that timeline to prevent her being dragged out by the GOD and TORTURED FOR ALL ETERNITY. This accomplished, they set everything back the way it was yet another time.

Suffice to say, leaving his friend to die does not leave Dave in the best of moods. Unfortunately, he left to fight the demon in the middle of, and was forced to return to, a shouting match with Terezi. This fight began because he told her that he only thought of her as a friend, not knowing that Terezi was incapable of reciprocating. Their fight spilled into the main lab, where they parted ways. Rose went to talk to Terezi, who filled her in on the situation after some prompting. Terezi also revealed that she had recently become terrified of DYING ALONE and that there would not be enough time for her to build a solid, romantic relationship before the demon came. Rose comforted her by telling her about Dave and Aradia, which made Terezi wonder if it was possible to ever stop liking someone in the way you did so that they could stay in your life some other way. Unfortunately practical, she appeared to have given up on such a romantic long shot, and Dave, by the end of the conversation. Seeing how critical relationships are to the Trolls, Rose agreed to coach Tavros.

While this has been happening, a number of CHARMING AND EMOTIONALLY STIMULATING SUBPLOTS have been dazzling the READERSHIP in the other rings of this EXTENDED CIRCUS METAPHOR. We got an extended pesterlog session about Moirails and how they are the world’s hardest core, well-intentioned cockblocks, in a fashion that implies this will be RELEVANT LATER. Lastly, Feferi appears to want to talk to Aradia despite no one letting her, perhaps related to A CERTAIN YELLOWBLOOD that links them.

We have also watched John and Karkat become THE STATLER AND WALDORF OF BROMANCE as they gather together to watch terrible movies because they are trying not to give in to the OBVIOUS CALIGNOUS TENSION smouldering JUST BENEATH THE SURFACE AT ALL TIMES and definitely not because they actually enjoy the movies in a genuine and un-ironic fashion. They have recently taken to watching the Troll’s version of Twilight, which they apparently have all four entries of, because including Twilight is the surest way to ensure a work’s ESSENTIAL TIMELESSNESS. Dedicating an entire paragraph to this subplot is an incredibly important sidestep considering that this fanfic…

* * *

KARKAT: …is not nearly enough about me! I mean, I’ve barely done anything yet! They had better be saving all my big moments for later because if this was my fanfic—

TEREZI: [I want my own fanfic, Karkat](http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail114.html).

KARKAT: What the—

 _He turns to the right and finds himself at eye level with TEREZI’s barred, smiling teeth, and almost falls out of his chair. We go to mid zoom to find that she is sitting on his desk, wearing a red shirt with a white star._

TEREZI: Oh.

 _She looks at first taken aback by the damage, but then leans over until she is practically touching KARKAT at the nose. Her face wears nothing but a malicious grin._

TEREZI: I want my own fanfic, [Bulgereek](http://mspaintadventures.wikia.com/wiki/Daedric_Alphabet).

KARKAT: Terezi…

 _He pushes her away with a finger._

KARKAT: …a fanfic starring you would be horrible! It would be like the screen in a video game where you keep intentionally trying to lose so that the blood keeps blocking your vision.

TEREZI: No no no. I’ve got a new favourite colour. Check it out.

 _She pulls a perfectly red crayon out of nowhere. NEPETA loses character and climbs cat-like over KARKAT to see it._

TEREZI: It’s called “[Razzmatazz](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Crayola_crayon_colors#Standard_Colors)”! It’s a ’93!

KARKAT: Yeah, that sucks.

 _He bats NEPETA off of his head._

KARKAT: Look, the both of you are just taking this crossover thing way to far. In conclusion: get out, I hate you.

TEREZI: Pft, fine.

 _She gets up and takes NEPETA by the wrist as they walk away._

TEREZI: Come on The Nepeta, let’s go see what Gamzee’s up to.

GAMZEE [offscreen]: Fucking check me out, I’m the captain of the gravy train!

 _KARKAT returns to his crabtop._

KARKAT: So there you go, Nepeta. I summarized your crappy SkiingReminder fic. Hopefully now you won’t bother me so much. And when you get out of your costume, bring me some damn Febreeze or something.

 _A green waft begins to rise from the desk, and Karkat worriedly tests his hair with his left hand._

KARKAT: …How did Terezi even come near here? That’s it, I’m hitting the shower. Maybe I can get the mental picture of sexy Homestar out of my mind before it does any permanent damage. Sylladex, play me out.

 _A piece of paper manifests from Karkat’s new sylladex, which comes to rest on the crabtop and reads “STOP FUCKING EMAILING ME.” Karkat walks away. After a 15-second pause, the crabtop also gets up and clanks away, leaving the note and smell alone._

* * *

EASTER EGG:

 _KARKAT, NEPETA AS THE CHEAT and EQUIUS are standing by the computer._

NEPETA: Meedly me! Meh meh mehmehna! …Moooooo!

KARKAT: Uh, The Cheat’s not a cow, you know.

EQUIUS: Karkat, I think if Nepeta claims to be a cow, her word takes precedence over your lowblooded opinion.

 _KARKAT lowers his eyes at EQUIUS and eventually sticks out his foot._

KARKAT: Look, would you just shake me upside down already?

 _EQUIUS begins sweating._

EQUIUS: M-may I?

* * *

  
**== > ACT 2**   


  


* * *


	8. Chapter 8

>   
>    
> 
> 
> GA: For My Next Question I Would Like To Ask You For A Summary Of Human Courtship   
> GA: As Practiced In Your Region And Demographic As You Have Specified In The Past   
> TT: That seems fair. I was considering asking you the same but figured covering all four quadrants would just eat up our time.   
> TT: I figured the information might help stave off certain disasters I'm getting the impression are occurring down my social pipeline.   
> GA: Is This About Karkat   
> TT: Why, what do you know?   
> GA: ...   
> GA: Things   
> TT: Kanaya.   
> GA: Perhaps It Would Be Better For You To Speak To Your Friends Directly   
> TT: Fine. John's online, I'll bother him.   
> TT: Did you ask because of whatever it is you're hiding from me?   
> GA: No   
> GA: It Was One Of The Original Questions I Hoped To Ask You When I First Contacted You   
> TT: Mm-hm.   
> TT: Who's Vriska?   
> GA: Are You Talking To Your John Friend   
> TT: Yes.   
> GA: Arachnidsgrip   
> TT: Your ex-moirail?   
> GA: Yes   
> GA: Why Has She Done Something   
> GA: She Has Been Acting Very Strange Since The Death Of Her Lusus   
> GA: I Believe She Is Trying To Repair Her Life But Is Not Honestly Very Good At It   
> TT: John says she's been flirting with him.   
> TT: "apparently"   
> TT: Adorable but clueless.   
> GA: Really   
> TT: He would like to know if I think he should flirt back.   
> TT: Not really a question I think I'm capable of answering without more information.   
> GA: Are You Asking Me   
> TT: Oh wait, he means considering some external factor.   
> TT: Related to me, I sup   
> TT: ...hold on.   
> GA: What Is It   
> TT: Please, just... give me a minute with my tactless leader.   
> TT: If you're curious perhaps you should go ask YOUR tactless leader.   
> GA: All Right   
> TT: Back   
> GA: Hello   
> TT: Did you speak with carcinoGeneticist?   
> GA: No   
> GA: He Told Me To Leave Because He Was Having A Fight With Himself   
> GA: And That It Was Very Important That That Brinesucking Asswipe Be Put In His Place   
> TT: I... see.   
> GA: How Did Your Conversation Go   
> TT: Surprisingly...   
> TT: Touching. John may not be the most mature person I know but he is at least sensitive.   
> TT: And when not direct he is at least easy to decode.   
> GA: May I Inquire As To The Nature Of This Discussion   
> TT: Well...   
> TT: Yes, I think so. Apparently Karkat has been trying to put, as we say, the kibosh on Troll/Human relationships.   
> TT: And has been suggesting preferred substitutes.   
> GA: Oh No   
> TT: John wanted to ask about the nature of our relationship.   
> TT: And since I am in a currently-undefined relationship with you, I figure you have a right to know that old greycaps is trying to muscle in.   
> GA: You Mean To Say That You Dont Care   
> TT: About Karkat's attempts to undermine other people's feelings?   
> TT: No not particularly.   
> TT: If he wants to have an ashen crush on the world that's his business. He certainly hates it enough.   
> TT: So long as you don't mind, I certainly don't.   
> GA: I Do No Know   
> GA: He Is My Leader But   
> GA: I Do Not See How This Means He Knows What Is Best For Me In This Regard   
> TT: I'm glad we can see eye to eye on this.   
> GA: Heh   
> TT: Now, where did we leave off?   
> GA: Wait   
> GA: What Did You And John Decide   
> TT: The same thing you and I did. That this was not the time for that kind of discussion and that time together would better tell.   
> GA: Fair Enough   
> TT: Are you worried he'll play a matesprit rival for you?   
> GA: Are You Asking About My Intentions   
> GA: Because Im Trying My Best Not To Have Any At The Moment   
> GA: Until We Have Met In Person   
> TT: I believe you. I just wanted to be sure.   
> GA: And What Do You Think Is Johns Perspective   
> TT: I think the whole deal is taking him more than a little by surprise.   
> TT: He found the idea of waiting a great comfort.   
> TT: In fact, he suggested it independently.   
> GA: I Take It This Is Hardly The Proper Course Of Human Courtship   
> TT: No, being ordered into pairings by a teenaged alien god-analogue is not our normal course of action when looking for mates.   
> TT: But nice segue.   
> GA: Thank You   
> TT: Human courtship in my demographic etc, etc, is divided into one or two stages depending on one's end goal.   
> TT: Generally it begins with dating: one party asks the other "out" to some event or location of interest.   
> GA: To What End   
> TT: Early on, to get to know one another. Later, to just have fun, I suppose.   
> TT: Come to think of it, it's really just an invitation to a private get-together. I suppose as a courtship ritual it draws more of its appeal from intent than the actual structure or activity.   
> TT: I'd never really given it much thought.   
> TT: Do you have an analog?   
> GA: Not Really   
> GA: Kismeses Plan Ambushes In Advance I Suppose   
> TT: Not really what I was thinking. I'd say both parties are usually aware of a date.   
> GA: Yes It Is Not Really All That Similar   
> GA: As For Matesprits It Is Not That They Do Not Spend Time Together In Private   
> GA: More That They Do So More Out Of Hand   
> TT: I wouldn't say spontaneity is alien to the human system but I think we can assume a certain dissonance.   
> GA: Would You Say Some Relationships Start Without The Dating Process   
> TT: Yes, I would.   
> GA: Rose   
> TT: ?   
> GA: I Am Getting The Impression We May Not Be Very Dissimilar On This Topic   
> TT: Ha, maybe that's for the best, considering.   
> GA: Yes I Agree   
> GA: Earlier You Mentioned Human Casual Dating   
> GA: Does This Mean The Optional Second Stage You Mentioned Is A Formalization   
> TT: Not my original intent, but good point. Make that two and three.   
> GA: And Do Humans Sometimes End Up In Competition For The Affection Of The Same Matesprit   
> GA: *Dating Partner   
> GA: Before This Formalization   
> TT: Don't hurt yourself trying to parse it, I don't think there is an English word for members of a couple.   
> TT: Yes, I'd say that happens from time to time.   
> GA: Given The Formalization Of The Early-Stage Relationships   
> GA: Is The Object Of Affection Generally Aware Of These Competing Attempts   
> GA: And   
> GA: Would You Say The Same Regarding The Competitors   
> GA: And If So What Is The Procedure For The Competitor That Does Not Succeed   
> TT: That's an awfully detailed series of questions, I'm not sure I'm capable of answering all of them.   
> GA: These Sorts Of Tangles Often Occur When A Troll Is Courting Both A Matesprit And a Kismesis While The Latter Was Regarding My Curiousity For How A Relationship Falls Apart When Its Not Yet An Actual Relationship As It Is Not Exactly A Situation We Had On Alternia Or Could Have Here In The Lab   
> TT: It's all right, I didn't need you to explain yourself.   
> TT: Though now that you have I'm more curious than ever.   
> TT: Are you all right?   
> GA: Have I Given You Reason To Suspect I Am Not   
> TT: Defensive replies, left field approach to questioning and that explanation was the longest contiguous block of text I've ever seen you type.   
> TT: Typing habits aren't exactly sight and sound but I get the impression that this topic bothers you.   
> GA: Could You Answer The Question   
> TT: As best I can:   
> TT: a) Not necessarily b) Same c) I can't imagine there is a procedure.   
> TT: Hoping to find answers to personal situations in other cultures?   
> GA: Rose Please   
> GA: Youre Blowing This Out Of Proportion   
> TT: If you say so, I'll believe you. I'm concerned is all.   
> TT: This is my concerned face.   
> GA: Youre Also Blowing That Out Of Proportion   
> GA: And You Look Like A Sad Nepeta   
> TT: I'm not sure how to take that.   
> TT: But I suppose I should move on to the next part of your initial question.   
> GA: Wait   
> GA: Rose I Know This Is Hard To Understand Through Text But Im Not Upset   
> GA: And Im Sorry For Implying Such   
> GA: Well I Technically Am Upset But   
> GA: Its More Embarrassment Over Still Being Upset   
> TT: I hope you realize that every tantalizing detail is only making me more eager for the rest of the story.   
> TT: So many sordid possibilities.   
> TT: I can already picture the buckets.   
> GA: All Right   
> GA: I Will Tell You If You Stop Making Light   
> TT: I'm not making light.   
> GA: You Are   
> GA: I Can See Your Face And Youre All Smiles   
> GA: Youre The Most Horrible Human Being   
> TT: You've found me out. Unbelievable.   
> TT: I admit it. I am a vampire that feeds on despair and suffering.   
> TT: Especially of innocent alien girls.   
> TT: But now that you're joking back I find myself powerless.   
> GA: I Cant Help It If You Keep Making Me Laugh   
> GA: When I Am Supposed To Be Filled With Righteous Early-Mid-Sweep-Aged Angst   
> GA: ...   
> GA: Put Your Damn Tongue Back In Your Mouth   
> TT: Yes that wasn't very noble or vampiric of me.   
> TT: So should I assume this tale of yours has something to do with you precariously positioned between two suitors?   
> GA: No   
> GA: The Opposite   
> GA: I Figure I Should Start By Explaining My Ex-Moirail
> 
>   
> 

* * *

"You'll help? r-rEALLY,"

"Yes really," Rose said. "If you still want my help."

Tavros grinned from ear to ear. "Y-yeah, I do! Wow, this is great!"

"Did you talk to him?" Rose took a look about the room but there was no sign of Eridan. In fact, the whole room seemed almost abandoned, save for Tavros and silent Aradia. She wondered at first if it had something to do with Terezi and Dave's outburst, but realized that, give or take a few awkward minutes, the movie would have ended just prior and that it would have been the prime chance for a lunch break. "And... why aren't you at lunch?"

"Feet still don't work," he said, with a kick of one leg and no motion from the other. "As for Eridan..." Tavros looked a little downtrodden at first, and Rose scolded herself for doubting him when he perked up a few seconds later. "He... still seemed interested! I asked him if he might want to go watch the next movie with me when it starts and he said that'd be good." Tavros then explained his earlier slump: "Then I realized I had accidentally created a memo instead of a chat." He took an intense interest in playing with his fingers. "I was wondering why it wanted me to name it."

"Vriska," Rose concluded with a bit of a growl.

"Yeah... she was being really supportive, except... i i DON'T THINK SHE WAS ACTUALLY BEING SUPPORTIVE,"

Rose sighed into her hands and tried to think around the situation. "Tavros, two things. First: you need a nap. I mean really." It had gone beyond easy to notice. His eyelids hung low like heavy drapes and the bags under his eyes were making his everyday downtrodden looks take on the appearance of near fainting. "Second..."

Up until then, Rose's hand had been casually resting on the desk, not far from the hole Tavros's foot had made the night before, but she snapped it away when the lip of a plate landed almost on top of it. The plate wobbled to a halt next to the hole, a wildly bouncing whole wheat sandwich atop, hanging on for dear life.

"Got your sandwich, Tav," Vriska said from just behind Rose. Rose turned and saw her walking over to her computer, where she grabbed a chair and gave it a shove across the lab. It rolled to a stop just a Rose's side. "Could you go online and look up what a 'turkey' is? Gamzee says it's a bird with a 'fUcKiNg BeArD' and John just thought that was funny, so now I don't know what we're eating and I'm pretty sure we had better."

Tavros did as he was told, picking up his sandwich and setting it to his left, and Vriska returned, butting intentionally into Rose. "'Scuze," she said, a look on her face known to many a parent would have recognized as _Holy-crap-how-can-you-be-this-stupid_. "Aren't you hungry?" she sneered, dropping into her chair and scooting over to Tavros, who was already on Wikipedia. "Hah!" Vriska said, seeing her first turkey. "No way! Fuck, Lalonde! Your planet is just packed with ugly animals, did you know that?" All the same, she immediately took a bite out of her sandwich and nodded approvingly.

Rose took a step back, getting only a half shrug from Tavros as communication. She supposed there really was not much more she could do to help Tavros with Vriska sitting right there, but it took her a moment to decide which way she'd rather go: to get lunch or to head down to Aradia's section of the lab and see how John and Jade were getting on with Dave. A growling stomach made up her mind for her, figuring that her friends might already be eating. She headed off down the hall the Trolls had unlocked beside the couch setup.

To hear Eridan tell it, the cafeteria had been the site of the last true climactic battle fought between the Trolls and the Underlings as the Trolls laid claim to the facility. Calling it the climax had a fair deal to do with actual challenge, as it had taken a full seven of them to flush the place, but also thanks to a fantastic incident none of the other six could confirm. Eridan claimed at one point to have fought an Ogre dressed in a frog collar and dragon scales that had caught fire on the cafeteria's range. Despite, the Ogre had apparently just kept coming and even survived multiple shots from his weapon. Whatever the truth of the war stories, the cafeteria still showed heavy signs of battle damage, though the Trolls had largely repaired the appliances, utensils and eating area to a pleasant and usable state. This was to say nothing of the far wall that would crumble a little every time someone moved a bench anywhere in the room. For sake of easy access to food, they had installed their primary alchemizer and its assorted gizmos in the pantry.

As far as Rose understood the lab's layout, the Cafeteria was connected directly to Gamzee's expansive sector. Unfortunately, Gamzee's was such a confusing place that the only evidence she had for the connection was his word, and she was past trusting his word. True, more than a few times they had found him with his head stuck in the fridge, or eating ice cream in the middle of the empty dining hall floor, so if it was not connected he was at least good at sneaking past everyone to get inside. Either way, he had more or less declared himself head chef, though his schedule was scattered and ill-planned. Unless Karkat felt industrious enough to swat him awake and into the kitchen, it was more a matter of waiting as far as one felt comfortable past lunch before heading in to do it yourself.

"What is up my most loquacious motherfucker?"

"Hi Gamzee," Rose said, trying to take inventory of the dining hall before she felt she had to make eye contacted out of politeness. "What's for lunch?"

"Fuck bra, it's _sandwich_ day." Rose could not help but notice the active pressure cooker. "We've got turkey and stuff on one hand and some squeezefruit on toast for the other, vegetarian-style."

The kids and Trolls had been doing their best to exchange cuisines for the past few weeks; that Gamzee still had access to new flavours rescued from their respiteblocks continued to surprise Rose. It was one thing to still find new food while shuffling through an eleven-set pantry from Alternia, but the sheer amount of food her mother and her friends' guardians had shoved into their pantries just days before the game began was equal parts reassuring and suspicious. Cake mixes and cereal boxes packed with shuriken aside.

Rose decided to stick to that game plan. "I guess I'll have that... what did you call it?"

"Squeezeberry," he repeated, and produced one from under the counter. It looked more like a speckled pepper to Rose, about half the length of a finger. Pinching it at the base with one hand, Gamzee squelched it with another until it had ejected a viscous orange paste all over the counter. He nodded, lips pursed and eyelids lowered, like an artist proclaiming his latest masterpiece complete.

Rose leaned slightly over the spit guard dividing her from the kitchen to get a closer look at the mess. "Uh... sure Gamzee, I'll have one, just... not that one."

"Cool," he said, swiping it up and sucking it off his finger. Rose watched for a while as he began to prepare some toast with one hand while absent-mindedly, but dutifully, washing the one that had just been in his mouth. Assured that her sandwich was being prepared by semi-professional Gamzee rather than utterly spaced Gamzee, she returned to taking stock of the adjoining dining hall. At the far side of the room, she spotted Feferi, who was narrating a story to Sollux using the remains of her meal for props, and most of the movie-watching group, who were discussing the plot at the top of their voices. Worst was Nepeta, who had Equius tugging at her trenchcoat to sit back down on the bench instead of the table. John was sitting with the other movie-fans, while Jade and Eridan sat at opposite sides of the room, both a few seats removed from the others who they watched with a certain detachment.

"Gamzee," Rose said, turning back and discovering that Gamzee's right side was now covered from wrist to waist in flour. "...have you seen Dave, Terezi or Kanaya?"

"Well, my coolest bro was in here to grab some fruit and tell me that he wouldn't be showing up to our jam session tonight, but I'm used to that. Fucker's never really around any more, you know? But nah, my stylish fucking sister ain't been here since yesterday, and I ain't seen Terezi since she blew up all over the lab this morning. Fuck, why is everyone so glum today? TaKe a lOoK ArOuNd aNd sMiLe, YoU KnOw, CaUsE aIn'T ShIt sO FuCkInG WoNdErFuL? So I'm making her some hot dogs to bring up later."

"You're... pardon?" Rose stepped a big closer as Feferi and Sollux walked past, back towards the lab, his arm over her shoulders and a laughing look on his face as she continued to tell him something Rose could not really piece together about a family of oysters.

"Crazy motherfucker loves my dogs, man. Two hot dogs with hot peppers and enough ketchup to drown the imperial guard."

Rose realized that, yes, one of the three saucepans just sitting on top of the nearby range full of dirty utensils and soap bubbles was actually boiling water. "I think I get it. Red, red and red, right?"

"Nah, my man, you gotta look at the big picture. If yOuR WhOlE FuCkInG WoRlD Is rEd, LiKe, HoW Do yOu kNoW? I got all kinds of awesome bell peppers from Jade's house, you have no idea. It's like a motherfucking rainbow on a plate. And cheese. I put it right in the dog because then you can't see it coming and then you're like whoa! Fucking cheese! So awesome." He had walked over to the fridge as he spoke, pulling out the ingredients and laying them on a cutting board as he mentioned them. He held the cheddar up to his face when he found it, boring his soul deep into its very nature. "Did you know this used to be milk?" he asked. "FuCkInG. MiRaClEs."

"You're really putting a lot of effort into this," Rose said, her prying inner psychiatrist latching on to this new information. "You must really care."

"Fuck, I care if anybody comes in here looking like a rain cloud. Your cute friend wanted to talk so she and I were poking through the books until she decided to make some lemon meringue pie. Did you know," he said, leaning over the spit guard and whispering as though he was spilling government secrets. "Did you know that you can make pies out of _anything_?" He gave her a wide-eyed, knowing nod of his head. "Then the other day Kitty comes in with six of her dead rats and sniffling like someone just took her favourite jingle toy, so I lit up some sticks in the corner and we had an awesome fucking camp fire." Gamzee pointed to the far end of the dining hall, and Rose made a mental note to tell Sollux that his sprinkler system might not be as fully operational as he had bragged.

"So people just come to you for help?" Rose asked. Gamzee shook his head.

"Nah, man. Well, maybe. I make them lunch. I mean, I don't want to see anyone all upset or soon everybody's upset, but sometimes you just gotta sit down and... coast. Especially don't like seeing all you pretty ladies with a frown." He set his arms, crossed, and met her eyes. "...So something eatin' you?"

He had transformed into the unbelievable picture of utter seriousness. He even frowned, which Rose had never seen, and his eyes looked in the same direction, which was irregular enough. Seriousness and a sympathetic face on a guy half-covered in flour and his elbow in a puddle of squeezeberry. Rose felt conflictingly torn between laughing and babbling out her day all at once. "I guess..." she said, "I'm finding out what you mean about people being upset making everyone upset."

He gave a tilt of his head as though to acquiesce to that, and when it was clear she had said all she was willing, the corner of his lip turned up a bit and Rose finally gave in to her laughter. He grinned a toothy grin and then, screaming like the demon had dropped in uninvited, he leapt into the air when the toast popped up.

"MoThEr _FuCk_!" He grabbed at the toast with his bare hands, pinching and retracting until he got used enough to the heat to yank each piece out onto the plate he set in front of him, and then began to rummage through the bins below for another squeezeberry. Despite finding his demonstration with no trouble, a pile of fruit was dropped onto the counter in no time, leading to a mixed pool of juices. At last he gave a cry of triumph and emerged with his quarry.

"Gamzee," Rose started when he was wrapping up his work. "Do you think you could make me a sandwich for Kanaya, too? She's been looking down since this morning, and maybe I can cheer her up, or at least get her to eat, after I'm done talking to Tavros."

"Sure thing, bra. No rationing here, she can come down and eat the whole fucking loaf if she wants." That might have been true, but Gamzee did have a certain culinary touch, and Rose knew that any moment after he was left to his own devices he might suddenly give up and wander off. Gamzee pulled out what Rose discovered to be an actual turkey breast, and began to carve it. "So what's up with my bro?"

"Tavros? Oh, he..." she lowered her voice to a whisper, not really sure how much was actually official yet. "He asked me to help out him with Eridan."

"Fuck, really?" He slammed his meat knife onto the cutting board with jarring, audible force. "Holy shit, we're like family then! Next thing you know you'll be his aupistice. Fuck, why didn't you say so?"

"Oh!" Rose looked away from the cutting board with a jerk, her surprise overwhelming her initial fear that Gamzee had just removed his pinky and was having a delayed reaction. "You mean... you and Tavros are moirails?"

"FuCk YeAh! I mean, I said to my bro, I said: 'My bro, you and me have been bros for sweeps and now that you're raising your voice a little, everyone wants to be your bro! Except I'm your bro, bro, and you know I've got your motherfucking back to the motherfucking end, bro, and I know you've got mine too 'cause...'"

"Because you're his bro too?" Rose supplied..

"Nah, like, because this one time he all up and dragged me back to my Hive after I had wandered out in the middle of the day AnD ThOuGhT EvErYtHiNg wAs sOmE KiNdA CaNdY? I mean, who does that?" Rose was not sure which part he was asking about but he did not actually seem to be looking for an answer. "LoVe iS A FuCkInG MiRaClE. Speaking of which, here's Kani's sandwich. You go fix whatever's going wrong there and everything'll be better in the morning. And hey!" he said, as Rose put the sandwiches in her sylladex, deciding to save both for when she met up with Kanaya. "If Eridan's all cool with you helpin' him and Tav, you get them all down here and we'll have an awesome fucking pie I saw this morning to celebrate being this whole big family thing."

Rose sucked in air through her teeth, though only partially because the idea of being "family" with Gamzee was sinking in. _Right. Eridan_. She had been so eager to help out Tavros that she had not really considered the full consequences that her help was at the mercy of both halves of the relationship. She wondered if Eridan was really going to let her ignore him when it came to Vriska and help out with Tavros. Gamzee must have seen the confliction on her face, because he then added: "And if you don't, you just come down and we'll have some comfort pie. I am totally making this pie, Rose. Just so long as I can find the recipe again, I mean. Fucking thing's up and vanished on me." He slapped the side of his bookended cookbooks, the last of which read _Traditional Autumn Recipies_.

"Okay, I'll see how it goes with Kanaya," Rose said, suddenly worried about exactly how it was going to go with Kanaya. She had not really had time to analyze the possibilities, what could be wrong, if she had done anything to provoke a problem. In truth, she was going in completely blind, armed only with cold cuts and good intentions. "Thanks, Gamzee, you've been a big help," Rose said honestly, and tried to back away.

"Rose!" said the person she bumped into. Jade clutched at the tip of her hair and separated from her friend, looking more than a little flustered. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Rose said, more surprised than anything. "You?" She nodded. "Okay, good. ...Did you and John... talk to Dave?"

"I don't know if I can really call it that!" Jade said with irritation, stomping from tip toe to the ground. "He just brushed us aside every time he even had to make eye contact! I think he might be really hurting, Rose, but there's nothing we can really do if he's not going to listen to us. Oh, sure, John says if Dave says he's fine, he's fine, but I think he's not going to let on to something like that!"

"Yeah," Rose said, "Terezi was in a pretty bad way too."

"You talked to Terezi?"

"Yeah, but... you know. Private." Jade nodded. "Look, I don't think there's anything we can do about Dave if he doesn't want us to. Why don't you go watch the last few movies with everyone else and, if Dave doesn't come to talk to anyone, let's just one of us find him if he's around at night time, maybe that will help him open up."

"But who?"

"...Not me," Rose said after some thought. "I'm worried I might slip something Terezi said to me and that would be awful. You and John should decide. Maybe he'd rather talk to you to help understand some of his girl trouble, or maybe he and John can, uh..." Rose tossed a look over her shoulder to where Gamzee was humming _I've Been Working on the Railroad_ while hefting a meat tenderizer. "Maybe they can be bros about it. I don't know, we'll have to just take a shot in the dark."

Looking at Gamzee had provided Rose with more than a silly turn of phrase. Seeing Jade at the same time as him, her hair in split ends and her buck teeth biting down on her lower lip, Rose could not help but remember what Gamzee had vaguely confided to her. Maybe it was just her opinion, but she had a good feeling of which Human was the "cute friend." "Jade, besides this are... you doing okay here?"

Jade nodded. "Y-yeah. I'd say so. It's a little cold?" she suggested, holding one arm of her sweatshirt with the other. "Aren't you okay?"

Rose smiled and nodded, immediately aware that all she had done was to provoke Jade's existing worry about their mutual friend. "Yeah, I'm fine, just making sure. I'm gonna go see Kanaya tonight, okay, but we can talk later."

"Yeah," Jade said, eyes big behind her glasses and looking a little less like her usual spunky self with one arm held dangling alongside the other. "Good luck, then."

Rose really had no idea what she had meant by that.

When Rose returned to the lab she was greeted by a strange sight indeed. A few things had changed to lesser effect: Sollux and Feferi were back at Sollux's computer, but Feferi's mood had changed from her bouncy, storytelling self to one of familiar, furtive glances in Aradia's direction. Sollux seemed to recognize the problem all his own, and he leaned over and planted a kiss just behind her fins. This sent a visible tremble up Feferi's spine and had her send look of gleeful accusation back at him, to which he replied by passively coding as though nothing had happened. Terezi had returned, and was sitting at her computer, typing quietly, her dragon-topped cane at her side in lieu of the plain, probably still stuck in the floor a few storeys above. But the strange thing had nothing to do with the new arrivals, but rather those Rose had left behind.

"So, so," Tavros was saying, his hands gesturing like a conductor over their emptied plates. "So Rufio comes in from above and gets the dragon right between the eyes!" He mimed this, holding his arms as though ramming in a lance.

"Yeah, and then Spinneret comes in from behind and _wham_! Right on the neck." She made a slashing gesture with her claws in mid-air... "And then it goes down hard." ...and brought her fist down on the table with a _thwump_.

They looked to one another and both nodded enthusiastically, after which Tavros passed over the keyboard and Vriska began to type at a rapid pace. Tavros kept a close watch on his screen, which Rose saw with a crane of her neck was tuned to a word processor, and he read along. "No, wait, hold on," he said. "I think that's a bit too bloody for Rufio. I mean, it's been a big problem but he'd still feel sorry for the poor dragon."

"No, wait, hold on," Vriska said. "You're right, but I got it. I got it. Check this out." She deleted the last few lines and began to type again. Tavros' mood picked up at once and he sort bounced in his chair as much as his one heavy leg would allow. When the paragraph was completed, Vriska returned the keyboard and they began to plot again.

"So then," she said, "Spinneret gets up on the dragon and shouts 'We did it!'" Fist pump. She even took partially to her feet. "Or you know, something like that."

"And... and then Rufio flies over and like, picks her up, because they're both all excited." Awkwardly, but not in the way Rose would associate Tavros with "awkward" but something much closer to the mean, he set an hand on Vriska's shoulder and the other on her side. Rose almost expected a reflex reaction from Vriska, counter or cooperative, but neither came. Instead, she just kept talking.

"And she's a lot better with the heights this time, I mean what with the rocket boots, but also with the trust thing."

"Right. I should write that down," Tavros said, and let her go, returning to the keyboard, all of which Vriska took with a business-sense Rose had not really expected from her.

"No, no," she said. "With an 'i'."

"Right," Tavros said, and finished what he was typing and turned back to her. Automatically, Vriska lifted up the arm to expose the side he had previously been holding. When he experienced another awkward pause, she could not help but to break down laughing. "w-wHAT IS IT,"

"Oh don't make that face," Vriska said. "I just feel silly all... dangling." She held out her arm at a right angle and let the hand swing there, and then even Tavros laughed. Feferi tossed the improving co-authors a glowing look over her shoulder, and Rose was almost certain she heard a frustrated groan from Terezi, who Rose caught returning to her seat proper after whatever glares she had shot them. Tavros' confidence restored, he took her back in his arms and she wrapped hers about his as though she was really, if delicately, hanging to him for dear life. "And then..."

"And then," Tavros said, "in all the excitement, he uh... he kisses her."

There was the briefest, pregnant pause between them, before Tavros tipped his head and horns and kissed Vriska gently on the cheek.

He was on the far side from Rose, and so she could just barely make out a moment where Vriska's eyes fell distant and shut, her lips slightly parted, before he broke off and she, instantly, returned to her former disposition. "But then she's all, 'Oh, wait, where the hell did that come from?' and she's angry."

"wAIT, hOLD ON," Tavros said. "I thought we had built up to this."

"No, no, you doof, _I_ get it."

"Oh, sorry, right."

Freeing her arms from about his neck, Vriska clapped them together. "Awkward fade to black, I laughed, I teared up, I felt their pain. Awesome, print it."

Tavros nodded and let her go, returning to his keyboard as Vriska pushed slightly away to get enough room to lay back and set her feet on the desk, her tongue errantly drawing along her upper lip. From time to time she would nod at Tavros' choice of words or turn of phrase, and after a time he ended his paragraph and set the keyboard in her lap to take his own turn in the editor role. When she had finished, she outright tossed the keyboard back onto the desk, threw her hands in the air and gave a whoop of joy.

"Man I'm glad that's finally out in the open! Tavros, we are never doing extended sexual tension again."

"Aw, I liked it," Tavros said, head in his hands.

"Well... fine, but at least give me a break while these two goofs—" Vriska slapped the monitor, "—sort themselves out. You still watching your movie now?"

"Yeah."

She frowned. "Are you sure?"

"Yup!"

"Pfft, fine," Vriska said, and she sat up straight in her chair, except for one leg she kept wound up against the desk. She set the other on one of the chair's legs. "I'll see you later, Tav." And she kicked off, sliding to a stop square in front of her own computer.

"Bye, Vriska," Tavros said, and he scrolled back through their story to give it a second read. Vriska, for her part, slapped her keyboard to wake the machine from sleep mode and began to fiddle rhythmically with a pen against her desk. Rose had never seen her so bouncy, energetic or simply so downright happy. She could not help herself.

"That was _adorable_ ," she said, stepping up to Vriska and trying to speak at a volume low enough to keep the conversation to the two of them. "Weren't you throttling him like, three days ago?"

Vriska replied with theatrics, her voice toned like a child. "Oh, bio-lusus, look at the weird Trolls, their ways are so strange and exotic!" She scoffed. "Lalonde, I am on a creative high, and you are mucking with it. Mucking, muckity mucker muck. Do you have a reason for being here?"

Rose honestly had only come over to jibe Vriska a little, since she seemed so into doing that on her own terms and it felt nice to get one in on her own for once, but she could not help actually considering the question posed now that it was out in the open. In her mind, a picture formed of four quadrants. Maybe it was the fact that Terezi was just a few steps away, or maybe it was her conversation with Gamzee, but she could not help but take in the whole of Tavros' "family." He had his moirail. He was shooting for his matesprit, and he had asked Rose to be his auspistice... sort of. There was only one slot left, really, and from what she had seen, it would be an ill fit.

"Vriska..." Rose said, trying with the pause to change the tone of the conversation. "Do you still have feelings for Tavros?"

"...How..." Rose felt a touch on her mind, as Vriska tensed. "...the hell is that any of your business? And what are you implying, 'still'?"

Rose swallowed hard, not believing she had let Kanaya's confidence slip like that, and immediately started to wonder if it was only Vriska's "creative high" that had kept her down in her chair, merely throwing a killing glare over her shoulder. She had to tread carefully, but all she could give as an answer was honesty.

"It's my business because he wants my help with Eridan. And look, this is going to sound really corny, but I don't know what I'm doing and... look, Vriska, isn't this something you should be doing?"

Vriska wheeled in her chair with shocking speed, the roller-chair skills of a champion, and the look on her face was not anger but something more approaching disdainful pity. She initially held up a hand to Rose in hopes of stopping her from rambling saccharine, but Rose really did not have the guts to keep talking to a face like that.

"Look, human, let me sit you down for a second here and explain something that's so obvious that everyone here has seen it but you, apparently. You want... I-I mean John, even, Rose." Vriska was frustrated to the point of shaking. "John gets this. It's not some human thing. You want to know if I have feelings for Tavros? And if I want to ringmaster his and Scarfula's late-night makeout circus? Rose."

And she reached up, clamped Rose on the shoulder and wrenched her down. Rose could not on her darkest day have hoped to withstand Vriska's strength, and collapsed at once down to her knees and eye level with Vriska's infamous vision eightfold.

"Rose," Vriska said. "From the bottom of my black, shrivelled, collapsing and expanding vascular system, I wish nothing – nothing! – but happiness for _Tavros_."

And she stopped speaking, holding the pause to make sure that Rose appreciate the full stop, even shooting her looks that said _Do you get it? Do ya?_ Then, satisfied, Vriska released Rose's shoulder and spun with a force back towards her computer. Rose took slowly to her feet and took a careful step back. At the far side of the room, Feferi had slipped back into to casting errant looks in Aradia's direction, but otherwise the room seemed unchanged, and it was clear that no one had been listening. Rose had never really believed that wanting nothing to do with Eridan's relationships was going to be such a blasted _problem_ today. It was even starting to get to others. Had he woken Vriska up at five in the morning too?

She glanced over at Vriska's clock as she stood and took her time to translate the Alternian numerals. "Dammit," she hissed to a room that did not really care. "The further I get to sitting down to rest, the longer it takes."


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're here on a second read, you'll notice two major Sollux edits: I'm not spelling out his lisp and he addresses everyone by their abbreviations, as I just could not decide which system to use to transcribe his abbreviations. Hopefully neither will throw anyone for a whirl. Thanks for reading!

>   
> 
> 
> \-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] \--
> 
> TT: Kan?  
> TT: You There?
> 
>   
> 

No reply. Rose sighed, taking off her hubtopband and wandering over in the direction of Tavros. She knew Kanaya had her computer on her, since Rose had given her a marbled lavender skinned clone of the hubtopband as a gift. On the other hand, if Kanaya was in her room alone she was certainly messing around with her clothes, and who knew where the computer would end up? The room was quiet at least for a few moments longer, besides something Feferi whispered to Sollux that she did not catch. Rose figured it was probably best to confer with Tavros just in case there was anything else he wanted before everyone started to get back from lunch, particularly—

“Roz, we have to talk.”

Rose absorbed her headbandtop into her sylladex as fast as she could lest she clench it to pieces. She tried to round to Eridan with a straight face, but he made it impossible. The tone, but moreover the way that he stood – full straight and arms crossed, tapping his foot and a finger as though waiting for something she owed him – would not allow it.

“What is it?” she demanded back. She looked him up and down, especially the face, trying to figure out if maybe Tavros was attracted to him for some physical reason, perhaps. She was having trouble with it. He had nice enough eyes, she supposed, and the moulting had done a fair job on his frame. Sburb’s levelling system worked its magic without physical impact, and the Troll’s maxed Vim had no benefit to their appearance on its own. On the other hand, if Tavros had been looking for fitness, there was enough of that going around, and Tavros spent more than enough private time with Equius.

Eridan pointed to the far corner of the room, between Aradia and Nepeta’s computers. Rose shrugged and followed him. She would never have admitted it, but she looked his backside up and down as well, just to be thorough, and began making a mental list of failings. She would admit that if she had been less cranky with him, she would have been far less critical, but she had not been having a good day since the whole auspistice reveal, and he just kept standing in the middle of it. What he said next only temporarily reinforced her criticisms.

“I heard what you and Vris were taking about,” he said, as though that were an accusation.

“Oh did you?” Rose replied, crossing her own arms. ”What’s the problem, then?”

“What’s the problem? wwhats the fucking problem she asks. Roz, everything you just did is a fucking problem. You’re going behind my back on this auspistice thing, you’re trying to put me in hands of fucking Vris…”

Rose, having taken a position closer to the wall, had to get out of her comfortable lean just to protest. “Whoa, Eridan, I am not going behind your back on anything. What part of ‘you and Tavros’ didn’t you understand?”

“Tav and I are fine!” he snapped, loud enough that the others heard him. Vriska and Feferi looked up to see what the big deal was; Tavros twisted around a few times before finally giving up on his leg. He cocked his head to one side instead. Eridan noticed the activity and lowered his voice. “I don’t need you mucking it up.”

“Yeah, the way I hear it, you were mucking it up just fine on your own.”

Eridan snarled at her, barred teeth and all. “What do you know, anyway?” Rose felt fairly certain from his reaction that she was dealing with a wounded pride, but he did not let her stick to that one argument. “And Vris! Holy shit, Roz, I thought you had some sense. You really think Vris is going to give me some great advice when she hates my guts? nevver mind that you’re acting like wwe should be clubs and spades for one another at the exact same time that’s just fucking nasty”

Rose decided it would be better to talk rather than let him see her react: “That’s the second time you’ve called me gross today, Eridan. Better be careful or I’ll start to think you’re interested.”

Eridan began to sputter, and was more than a little conscious of the tiny corner he had trapped the both of them. “d-don’t be stupid roz i’m only barely ashen for you”

Rose decided to take advantage of his squirming and inched forward as though she had done so to be heard at a softer whisper. “Uh-huh. But me with Tavros is totally out of line?”

“That… th-- wwe… I really don’t see how that affects anything.”

Rose leaned even closer as he continued to shirk away. “I really didn’t think you could afford to be that picky.”

“I’m serious, Roz,” he stammered. “Tav and I are fine and you’d just muck it up. You wanna help me? You help me with Vris, and that’s final.”

Rose had some trouble maintaining her cool after that. Of course he had every right to turn her away from his relationship, but why did he have to be so damned rude about it? “You know, I don’t see why you think you’ve really got a chance with Vriska even with an auspistice. You’ve already botched it with her and you’re pretty much botched it with Tavros, too! He’s not even sure if you give a damn. You want some relationship advice? Change your attitude. That one’s free.”

She pushed past him with her shoulder and gave what came out like an unladylike snort she was not exactly proud of but was willing to work with. Eridan jumped back to avoid her, and there was a great crashing sound from behind him, which Rose assumed for one bright moment implied that he had jumped into the pile of spare and junk parts Equius kept near Aradia’s desk. By the look on his face so did he, at least until they both heard Feferi moan from behind his back.

“TZ, what was that for?”

They looked and saw that quite the scene had developed while they were absorbed in bothering one another. Feferi was pulling herself to her feet from what looked like a face plant, Sollux pointing and gesturing, Terezi stoic and solid with her cane between her feet. Aradia was ignoring the entire affair, plugged securely into her computer.

“Uggh… what _was_ that for?” Feferi asked, a hand rubbing at her forehead.

“OH, 1 TH1NK YOU KNOW” Terezi said with her characteristic grin. Rose did her best to take in the scene, but beyond that Terezi had just tripped Feferi, it was not going very well. She had certainly put in some effort to cross the room to do it. “You’re smart. We've been keeping you away from Aradia for weeks now! 1 JUST F1GUR3D 1T W4S T1M3 TO CUT TH3 SUBTL3 H1NTS and hit you in the head with it. Well…” she reached out her cane and tapped it on the floor in front of Feferi. “1T AND TH3 FLOOR” And she giggled in that cackling way only Terezi could.

“Well at least she’s feeling better,” Rose muttered aloud, but had barely finished the thought when she had to stick out a hand and grab Eridan by the shoulder before he charged in after Terezi. Her reproach was echoed by Sollux (“Hey, piss off, Ampora!”) and even Feferi (“Eridan, please.”).

Terezi just started to laugh. “Oh yeah, Ampora, go charging right in there, that’s really… H3H3H3H3… really charming.”

“Terezi…” Sollux said, his heart not really into the caution.

“H4H4H4H4! But he gets to be the fuckin hero, fef!” And she grinned specifically at Eridan, her eyes dark and stormy but her grin set and bronzed from practice. “And I sort of wanna watch.” But the malicious flash vanished and she clapped Feferi on the back, almost knocking her back to the ground.

Feferi's face had gradually fallen as she heard Terezi talk. "You... don't want me to talk to Aradia? W-why? Who's 'we'?"

Terezi just grinned as ever. "Orders." Rose, from her better angle, caught sight of something else: Sollux, wincing.

 _That's what this is all about?_ Rose had a little trouble believing that. True, some of the others had been making a bad habit of keeping Feferi from talking to Aradia. Heck, Rose was fairly sure she had seen virtually all of them, perhaps at the exclusion of Equius. But Rose she did not really know why it was happening, and certainly didn't think whatever it was warranted tripping Feferi, especially within earshot of Aradia. What could possibly be the harm in a conversation? Even from where Rose was standing it was clear that Feferi was fighting off a show of emotion through sheer regal discipline.

The pain on Feferi's face rang a bell in Rose's mind, and she braced on Eridan before he even had a chance to react. “Look,” she said, pulling him back towards her so that she would have spoken practically into his ear if not for his recent growth spurt. “Sit down, on your own, and stay out of this.” He turned his head slightly, as though listening, but could not quite tear his eyes off of Feferi. “This is none of your business,” she cautioned.

Terezi clucked her tongue. “Sollux, I really thought you'd have told her by now. Really, that's just _irresponsible_.”

Feferi’s expression slipped ever so slightly. “Wait, you knew? Sollux!”

Sollux slid his chair away from her, hands up, and started to speak before Terezi interrupted him. Aradia stayed where she was. It was not clear she was even listening in. “Princess,” Terezi said, “everybody knew. Except you, apparently. 1 DON’T R34LLY S33 HOW YOU D1DN’T WORK 1T OUT 4LR34DY”

Terezi's motive were making less sense to Rose with every word. First she trips her and then she riles her? With Terezi now at her back, Feferi was not even trying to keep up appearances, and the expression of hurt and betrayal showed in her body language even from behind. Eridan actually bit his lower lip as he tried to follow Rose’s advice to stay put, but torn somewhere between unrequited matespritship, unrequited kismesissitude for Sollux and what Rose had a good idea he was thinking about Terezi, he was not looking good. He held up one fist clenched and the fuckin hero look Terezi had been taunting him about had started to crawl onto his face. Rose felt a simultaneous smattering of emotions, most of which wanted to wipe that look off his face and the rest wanted to wipe that look off his face before he did something stupid. After all, wasn’t that just common decency?

“Sollux…”

Sollux held up his hands. “Now it's not quite like that...”

And then she was angry. “Don’t you talk to me like that!”

Eridan's reaction was immediate, the synchronous reaction of a moirail, Rose supposed. Rose stepped immediately in front of him. His face was of stupid, random Troll fury, and his height and lightning horns made him stand out like a raging, random thunder god in a moment of uncharacteristic triumph. But when he looked down towards Rose to see why she had cut him off, something changed in his expression. A look passed over his face: first surprise, but then another that lingered, a look Rose had only seen once before, on Vriska. For just a split second, Eridan looked open, even pleading.

Rose took a deep breath, and followed her instincts as best she could: she stepped forward, until they were almost touching, and took her other arm to his side, not unalike to Tavros and his roleplay with Vriska. She gave him a light shake and said, clear and enunciated: “ _I will handle this._ ”

Falling apart before her eyes, she saw the stupid hero look disappear and Eridan slowly nodded. “…Okay Roz,” he said. “I… okay.”

Rose almost completely dropped the ball at that. Eridan’s fist opened and he patted her twice on the shoulder before he stepped away to his computer. That was the reaction she had been _hoping_ for, but getting it was a different matter entirely. As she turned, Rose thought she might have seen Feferi watching them out of the corner of her eye, but the Alternian princess was mostly preoccupied by a new rash of Terezi’s taunts. Rose bit her own lip. She had all day to work through weird new feelings after all. First she had to deal with unwelcome old ones.

“Terezi, what the hell?”

Terezi looked up with an ugly glow, and Rose realized that, apparently random violence aside, this was the old Terezi Pyrope back in the field, crass and dominant. There was no doubt that she had been expecting Rose’s arrival and was even prepared to deal with it. Rose honestly had no idea where she had come from so suddenly, considering the moping girl she had seen at the keyboard a few minutes prior.

“H1 ROS3” Terezi chirped. “How are you this _fine_ afternoon?”

“Just fine, thanks, until a few seconds ago when people started tripping people for no good reason.”

“Ah yes,” Terezi said, looking upwards as though lost in a pleasant memory. “Regrettable. …But really funny.” She looked back at the others to see if they agreed. “…Maybe you had to be there?”

Sollux pointed to Rose and spoke as a means of breaking the awkward pause. “This is none of your business,” he said past his lisp.

“I’m mediating,” Rose said with a dismissive wave of her hand.

“Yeah, for him,” he replied, pointing towards Eridan, whose computer activities were now only a perfunctory sideline to his eavesdropping. “And it’s definitely none of his business.”

“Oh yeah, you’ve got a lot of say in whose business things are today, don’t you?” snapped Feferi. Sollux sunk a little more into his chair.

“Sweet burn, Peixes,” Terezi said, leaning forward on her cane. Rose shot her a glare, but that only made Terezi grin wider. Rose decided that that was a dead end and returned instead to the couple.

“Okay, maybe the melodrama behind this isn’t my business but I’d still like to know why the hell this went from interrupting to outright tripping.”

“Yes, thank you!” Feferi said. “Yeah! Don’t think I didn’t notice all the other times.”

“…after we tripped you,” Terezi egged.

“You shut up with that ‘we’ crap, eh?” Sollux spoke tough but reeled back from Terezi's unbroken grin. “Fef, maybe we should get out of here to talk about this.”

Feferi stomped her foot. “Oh yeah, go crawl up and—”

“No, no!” It was Terezi, leaning almost improbably forward so she could speak in a whisper that she nevertheless carried over-loud. “Go and lock him out! It’ll be funny!”

Feferi fumed, whirling on Terezi as though about to turn the fight back her way. Rose had never actually seen Feferi angry before, or even in combat, but the princess carried herself with more grace while enraged than when bubbly or serious. She also found that she was armed and a deadly set of teeth and her eyes flashed magenta against the yellow in a way Rose had never seen on the land Trolls. But while Rose could not help but back away despite not even being the subject of the glare, Terezi did not even flinch to a more secure position on her cane. The stare-down held for a time, but it was Feferi who broke. Disciplined still, she pushed past and disappeared into the transportalizer.

“Wait!” Sollux started, and was halfway to his feet before Rose shoved him back into place. “…Listen… _you_ ,” he said, growling up at Rose and confirming her pet theory that he still had yet to memorize the humans’ names. “I don’t really give a shit just how much Eridan and Tavros and Vriska think of you, you don’t have any right to keep me here when I should be talking to my damn matesprit!”

“Yeah, well, consider this a present from a single guy who hates your guts,” she replied, pushing him back into the chair. “Now let's talk about this display, shall we? This is absurd! Why are you tripping up your girlfriend just to keep her from talking to someone else?”

“I didn't want her tripped!” Sollux shouted, wrenching off her hand and jumping to his feet at once. "Why don't you ask her?" It took all of Rose’s power not to give him ground as he stomped into her personal space, but she immediately regretted it and backed off. Even Sollux, who had kept his cool through the entire battle with the imps in the vault, had the ancestral temper of the Trolls, and Rose found that she had no more desire to stand in front of him than she had any of the others.

Rose turned instead to Terezi, who shrugged and repeated her earlier answer: "Orders."

"Bullshit," Sollux sputtered, though he did not look entirely sure of himself.

Luckily for Rose, it was at that moment that Aradia decided to join the conversation. “I have my own suspicions about this," she said. Sollux seemed surprised to hear it. "About a month ago,” she said, still facing her computer as she pulled the plug from her head, “I started coming back to my senses and Sollux and I had a… a talk. Our second. The first was when I was still preoccupied with the horrorterrors and I had not been very polite.”

Sollux’s temper cooled at seeing her join the conversation and he slumped down, half-sitting on the edge of the desk. “W-we were pretty close before… uh…”

Rose’s eyes darted toward Terezi, but she had suddenly lost her smile. Rose, nervously pushing back her hair behind an ear, muttered, “I’ve heard.”

Sollux nodded. “I guess after all was said and done and we had said good... goodnight, I really had to, uh, talk to FF.”

Aradia picked up from there: “The next day the princess started to show an express interest in talking to me, but did not seem to have built up the courage. I don't quite understand what it was about.”

“She... she started to treat me like one of her fucking cephalopods!” Sollux said. “Kept talking about how she wanted to 'fix things'! She's always doing 'projects', but I didn’t get it! The night after talking to AD, FF had been...” He looked around for words, and as though realizing for the first time that Feferi had gone and he had stayed, he hung his head instead. “...everything I needed. I didn’t need her to fix anything!” He hung his head. "And then KK..."

Rose turned to Terezi. "'Orders?'"

Terezi coughed, and spoke in a gray-tinged inflection. "IF ANY OF YOU NOOKSNIFFERS LET PRINCESS HOLLYJOLLY DRAG MEGIDO INTO ANOTHER FUCKING GHOST DEPRESSION OVER HER DEAD RELATIONSHIP, I WILL..." Terezi rolled her hand in the air a few times to represent the usual bevy of Karkat-isms. "...Sorry, Megido," Terezi added, still smiling.

"Not at all," Aradia said, not registering any surprise even if she was experiencing it. "I had suspected as much a few dozen interruptions back."

“Sollux,” Rose said, though she was disappointed to find that he had buried his face in his hands. She had seen enough of him to recognize the symptoms of his bipolar disorder, but she did not truly know how to approach it. “You knew about this?

"Yes."

"And did you at least talk to Feferi?”

His eyes, glared out over the top of his fingers. “JD, don’t—”

“ _Rose._ ”

“Right. don’t get me confu2ed wiith the 2tupiid briigade you’ve been hangiing out wiith, okay? remember who you’re dealiing wiith here and giive me a break from the adole2cent mii2take2 playbook.”

“Sollux,” Aradia said, passing between he and Rose, “I’m going to head out.”

“Thanks, AD,” he said, and she passed without word or gesture, leaving Rose to only ponder exactly how the two of them stood. Sollux finished his explanation: “ii a2ked kk two help me buy tiime 2o 2he and ii could talk, just for the day, but she wouldn’t even listen to me and before I knew it everyone was just assuming Karkat had given some sort of order about it.”

He gestured toward Terezi, whose dominant mood and grin had returned not long at all after the discussion of Aradia’s death had mopped up. “That wasn’t an order? I’m shocked!” She did not even pretend.

"And this tripping?"

Sollux lowered his eyes. "That wasn't me."

Rose, whose mood had fallen considerably across the span of the conversation, could do nothing more than step aside. “Go,” she said to Sollux. “Tell her it was my fault you were late. Bang on the… transporter or something.”

“Thank you,” Sollux jibed, his earlier mood returning, and he left without another word. Rose was left alone with Terezi, still leaning on her cane, looking like a jaundiced Jack-o-lantern.

“So, what?” Rose asked. “It's pretty obvious you've got no reason for that trip. Does knocking people down make you feel better? Puts you back in charge?”

“Oh Rose, you’re like one of your little policehumans today, aren’t you?” Terezi stood up straight and began to swing her cane in an arc. “We had a nice talk earlier, don’t you think? That was fun.”

‘Fun’ was a warning, but Rose knew that Terezi knew Rose would have no way of knowing for what. She prepared herself for a sudden shift in conversation, a verbal assault, because frankly, if it came to the physical…

Rose barely had enough time to catch the ground with her arms.

Terezi unhooked her dragon cane grip from behind Rose’s ankle and stepped up to her side, sliding down the cane to rest just above her face. Terezi sniffed and touched Rose’s face to get a better grasp of her emotions, and finally just outright licked her on the cheekbone, perhaps hoping for pain tears. “You’re not a cop, Lalonde. I’m the law here, and no little talk gives you the right to say HOW 1 DO 1T” With that, Terezi started to get up to leave. "We never talked."

But despite Terezi's ultimatum, Rose was not going to just lay there in the indignity. After all, Sburb had gifted her with seventy-six levels of unnatural speed and strength all her own, and she snapped a hand up in between Terezi’s and slammed the unprepared cane down to the ground and a new dent in the floor. That caught the Troll girl’s interest, and when Rose pulled herself up to her knees, hair dishevelled, gripping the cane in alternate positions with Terezi’s hands, she met a look ripe with anticipation.

“All right,” Rose started. “Fine. I don’t have any right to tell you how to do what you do. That’s your moirail’s job. I get that. I get that you're upset," she said specifically at a whisper, "I've been there. You want to go tear up a few people to make yourself feel better? It's a bad idea, but I can't do anything about it. _I_ get it. What about you? How much has not 'getting' humans helped you this morning?”

Terezi’s grin faded: it was clear that bringing up Dave had cut through Terezi’s defences. There, Rose saw an opportunity to stick something to her that might not get lost in the parts of Terezi’s mind dedicated to turnabouts and verbal ripostes.

“So here's your chance to learn something, Terezi: I know some of you can’t stand that, but try to get that we're going to butt our heads in from time to time. Because we care, and that's what we do when we care. I’m not asking you to take it! Just don’t act so damn surprised when it happens. I don’t want to have to preface everything I say any more than you do.”

Terezi lowered her eyes at Rose for a moment, a stare-off, but but then her smile returned in a flash and she did the one thing Rose had not expected. “All right. Deal.”

“I… pardon?”

Terezi wrenched the cane away in a spin Rose could not have dreamed of coping with. “I said I’m sorry. Wow, that is totally left field for you! You weren't ready for it at all! That’s adorable.” Rose frowned, which only made Terezi smile the broader. It was a misleading smile, the kind Terezi wore when she was covering for some other emotion. Perhaps Rose had caused her to dwell on Dave, or the argument that morning, but in the end it was still a smile, genuine and bright. “OPT1M1SM, ROS3 Oh, pardon me. you're JD, ii forgot.” Terezi set her cane behind her and swayed against it as she walked in reverse. “Quid pro quo! You do me good and I’ll do you!” She pulled the cane back out and shook it at Rose. “…Don’t trip yourself standing up there, okay?”

And she headed off down the hall towards the cafeteria. Rose shook her head to clear it but was not having much luck. Had that really went as well as it seemed? She started to stand but instantly buckled and had to catch her weight on her hands. Looking down she found that (she had no idea when) Terezi had tied her shoes together. Fumbling with the knot, she missed most of a conversation that appeared to have taken place in the hall. All she heard was a relatively civil tone ended with a bout of maniacal, teal laughter, and Karkat storming out of the hall.

“ALRIGHT FUCKERS,” he said to his tailing audience. “I AM STARTING THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW. EVERYONE TAKE YOUR SEATS EXACTLY WHERE YOU DAMN WELL WERE!”

He glanced confused over at Rose for a moment, but regained his composure in only two strides and was soon fumbling with the DVD player. Rose, for her part, tried best to ignore him and shifted over to Eridan, whose expression was mixed.

“Eridan, can you trust me that I think Sollux should at least have a chance to handle this with Feferi?”

“Are… you all right?” he asked.

Rose made a face. “Well it’s not that bad a suggestion.”

“No, I mean, you…” He reached up and rubbed the back of his head vigorously.

“Oh!” Rose followed her lead and checked the back of her own head. “I… no, I’m fine. Thank you.” Eridan nodded politely. “Now, about Feferi?”

“I’ll… wait,” he replied, ruefully. “And as for Terezi, th… thank you. I don't care what happened to her today, she had no right-”

“That,” Rose said, as she reached a hand up to her temple to spawn her hubtopband, “was personal.” But she smiled, and privately, he smiled back. “You’re… still not going to let me help out you and Tavros, are you?” Eridan shook his head, though to Rose's relief he only did so after a pause. Karkat, in the distance, outright dimmed the lights, since no one in the room but Vriska and Rose were ignoring the film. “…Movie’s starting. Go join your boyfriend.” Eridan nodded silently and left Rose alone.

>   
> 
> 
> GA: Hi, Rose.  
> GA: Sorry I Missed You. I Was Just Fiddling Around With My Stuff.   
> TT: Hi Kan. I Hope I Haven’t Kept You Waiting.   
> GA: A Little. The Silly Back-And-Forth Of Internet Communication Continues.   
> TT: That’s All Right.  
> TT: I Was Hoping That Maybe I Could Come Up Now Instead Of Later.  
> TT: I Don’t Mean To Use You As A Cushion, But I Really Need To Rest And Clear My Head.
> 
>   
> 

There was a notable pause, during which Rose heard the crescendo of company logos go by on the screen. Not far away from where she stood, she almost made out the sound of Eridan and Tavros, whispering to one another.

>   
> 
> 
> GA: Right Now? I May Need Some Time To Clean Up.  
> GA: Give Me Ten Minutes, Then You Can Use Me As A Cushion Or Whatever You Just Said.   
> TT: Thank You.   
> GA: What Does That Even Mean?  
> GA: Do I Want To Know?   
> TT: Heh. It Doesn’t Mean Anything At All.   
> GA: Then Cushion Away! I guess.   
> TT: See You In Ten, Then!   
> GA: Goodbye.   
> TT: Bye.
> 
>   
> 

Rose replaced the band in her inventory. Beyond the pause, Rose was not really picking up any of the awkwardness in Kanaya’s text that she had picked up in their conversation earlier in the day. Maybe a good crop of fashion work had cleared her head. On the other hand, like she had said ages before, text was far from sight and sound. One way or another way, she had ten minutes to whittle away, and she felt she had might as well spend it on the movie. At least, she did at first.

She took to standing just beside and to the back of the couch, behind Nepeta, as it were, who had taken a seat under the left arm. From there, quite unintentionally even for Nepeta, they shared the perfect spot from which to eavesdrop on Tavros and Eridan.

“wOW, eRIDAN, i NEVER SAID I THOUGHT OUR RELATIONSHIP WAS DEAD,”

“Really? Not even to Roz?”

“…oH.”

On the screen, the pre-film propaganda had begun. A blonde adult Troll was explaining the intrinsic value of daily hygiene, specifically means of getting blood out of clothes. As he wrapped up, a trailer for a naval epic with no apparent Earth equivalent began. Rose was having quite a bit of trouble even pretending to pay attention to the screen, and apparently so were the others.

“Tav, I swear, I don’t know where you got that idea, but I’m sorry because there’s nothing in the wworld that wwould stop me from showwing you howw much you mean to me. if i kneww you wwere that concerned i’d havve been right there on hands and knees to showw you just how… what, what is it?”

Tavros, even timid, sleepy-eyed Tavros, was laughing. “I’m sorry, you’re just so over the top.” Eridan, deflated, crossed his arms and tried to shrink away, to which Rose expected Tavros would recant, but he did nothing of the sort. Rather, he held out his hand to touch Eridan’s leg, and said, “It’s perfect ‘you.’”

A muffled noise started up near Rose’s leg: the barely recognizable sound of Nepeta squealing into her cuff. To her right, Rose heard Karkat say something to the effect “Oh for fuck’s sake…” before retrieving his crabtop and distracting himself with the power of the internet.

Eridan took Tavros’ hand in his own and leaned forward to whisper: “Tav, I’m…” But he cut himself off and pressed forward into a kiss, unpractised but enthusiastic both, and Nepeta exploded into a burst of sound before collapsing to the ground.

“Uh…” said Jade, on whose leg her head had landed. “Are you okay?”

“Don’t touch me,” Nepeta squeaked, dreamily. “i just died.”

Everyone was more or less spying on the two at this point, but it was not all peace and voyeurism. “Oh shoot,” John said at one point, and he nudged Rose aside so that he could climb over the back of the couch. Rose turned and saw the source of his speed: Vriska, forgotten on one side of the room, was watching the kiss with an emotionally torn apoplexy, and Rose could not really hear what John said to her before they both slipped away into the transportalizer.

Rose could not help but feel sorry for Vriska, but perhaps she had not quite “turned into Kanaya” yet. Making everyone happy was a reach, and this seemed to have done well enough. Even Karkat seemed to have a moment of quiet happiness, as he retrieved his broom of office to shuffle the happy couple into “not disrupting the fucking movie.” Rose had really not done any auspisticing that day, just a little match making. But now she found that she had a piece of her mind that reached out for another chance, because those two smiles had warmed her heart in a strange, different way: her first taste of being just a little more like the Trolls.

“Eridan… I’ve been up all night and I think I’m going to fall asleep on your shoulder.”

“Tav, don’t do that, we’re in roller chairs, we’ll just go sliding across the room.”

“Heh, yeah.”

A snap shook Rose back to alertness, just as the movie was beginning to start. “Hey! Clubbed Douche.” Karkat fell back to the couch and replaced his crabtop in his inventory. “Maryam says hustle up, and you tell her I’m not a fucking answering machine.”

Rose picked up the pillow from John’s side of the couch and tossed it at Karkat. “Yeah, I’ll get right on that,” she said, and left the room. She took the transportalizer, reasoning there was no reason to hide from it all day, and hoping that her good mood would overcome the Elder Gods the same way it had that morning when she had come off from talking to her friends. She was right, their voices seemed all the quieter, except for one.

“Walk the high road, silver in your footsteps and a shadow bright as day,” he said in only a few words of the elder tongue and the voice, only heard briefly, of the Draconian Dignitary.

“Pride,” Rose greeted, and she felt the mental image impressed upon her mind of a glass of champagne raised in a toast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I had to sit back at this moment (July 2011) and say "If I could fix one thing..." it would be to spread out Feferi and Sollux's subplot, as had been the original plan before I just botched it. After multiple edits, I can't even figure out how any more. I think this revision is much nicer than some of the previous, however, and I hope it goes over well enough with all those reading it for the first time.


	10. Chapter 10

The Troll's sections of the lab had not been divided entirely at random. As far as Rose understood it, the long straw had gone to Nepeta, who had immediately selected the dilapidated, rat-infested Underlab to make her den, and so on down a chain until Sollux, who was left with the custodial and laundry rooms. Kanaya, who had received one of the later choices, had still managed her favourite thanks to her completely esoteric sense of décor compared to the other Trolls. She had taken the executive offices and adjoining dormitory, easily the smallest section of the lab, comprising of a former waiting room, the main office, an expansive bedroom decked to the nines with plush carpeting and wood finish, and an en suite bath.

Rose found all the doors unlocked as she passed and made her way into the office, which she found unoccupied, save for Kanaya's stocked collection of clothing. The desk remained clean, polished and ready for use, not that Kanaya ever did, and the windows behind it remained locked and heavy shuttered, overlooking some part of Karkat's section of laboratory left to gather dust. Rose passed through with only enough care to notice that Kanaya had taken one of the racks away from its usual spot: knowing Kanaya, it was already in her room.

Rose knocked. "Kan?"

"Ah, yes! Come in, Rose!" Kanaya's voice came through flustered, though the door muffled sound well enough to keep Rose from seeing the full of it until she opened the door and found the room completely askew. Rose had never quite seen Kanaya's place so dishevelled, and worse, Kanaya herself. It was as though the entire suite had been tossed on its side, shaken and then returned to its original position. That was not to say Kanaya was regimental about cleaning. Rather, she liked to organize her chaos, and Rose knew this would never keep. In the past, she had always been careful not to leave footprints on a bolt of fabric or to upset the pyramid of shitty spools of thread. Now only the pyramid lay undisturbed, and virtually everything else was covered with discarded dresses and outfits. By the looks of things, Kanaya, who was presently in her work clothes, had begun cleaning up near the door, but had only managed a foot or so before Rose had arrived.

"I... uh..." Kanaya said, two blouses and a skirt in her arms as she walked away from the corner of her room that housed her recouperacoon. "...hi." She pulled another skirt into her arms. "I let my ten minutes go by and figured I shouldn't..." She squinted down inquisitively at her bed, a huge king-sized affair that Kanaya preferred to use as a chair. Its fluffy red comforter was buried under the bulk of the clothes; Kanaya snapped a dress at the foot-end corner closest to the door. "...shouldn't keep you waiting. You can take a seat." She pointed down at the fresh corner.

"Um..." Rose checked the shoes mining the path between her and the bed for a path of open space. She pushed two of them aside with her foot before ultimately deciding that Kanaya's sense of hospitality just misleading her from the proper course of action, and she began to collect them in loads, passing them over the bed.

"Oh, please don't," Kanaya said, biting her bottom lip but not stopping her attempts to clean. "You're my guest."

"I don't know if you've noticed," Rose said, handing over three pairs of heels. "But I've been in here almost every other day for a month. I'll help out." Kanaya made a face, but ultimately bit her tongue. "So," Rose said, "did you find the outfit you were looking for?"

"Am I that obvious?" Kanaya said, trying to decide how to sort the items she had in-hand.

"With fashion."

"No luck." Kanaya turned back and started to rifle through the shoes to collect the shirt Rose had accidentally been stacking them atop. She tossed it into the weaved-plastic hamper that had come with the room and began to sort the shoes into their cubbies. "I'm certain it must be on the second rack, because I was positive it was on the first. I had found the rest of the ensemble," she waved vaguely to the storm damage that was the rest of her room, "but obviously the dress is key. And now it's invisible. Transparent. Gone."

"Maybe you just imagined it?" Rose said. "Plans in your head. Maybe you still need to sew or alchemize it, I mean."

"I did," Kanaya replied, "the latter, some time after we got here. But I didn't see the point in pushing through the kitchen at lunch time just to get to the alchemizer to make another."

Rose pulled up the last of the shoes and passed them over. Gingerly picking up three shirts that had somehow made their way from the rest of the pack, Rose passed them into Kanaya's wrinkle-conscious hands. From there, she took her earlier-intended seat. Kanaya did not outwardly react to this belated compliance but Rose nevertheless got the impression that she approved.

Rose gave the problem some thought. "Do you think it might be in Karkat's?"

"...ohhhh..." Kanaya slumped for a moment before diligently returning to her cleanup. "Yes, that's it exactly."

"You should really stop hiding things there."

Kanaya, having just finished with her handful, turned back with a smile. "Seeing what you can get away with under Karkat's nose is something of a local sport."

Rose laughed, passing her some of the clothes from the head of the bed on request, and noticed for the first time that Kanaya did not seem to be wearing her makeup. It was not the first time Rose had caught her like that, but Kanaya did tried her best to never allow her face in public without at least a brush of her hair, and Rose was again struck by the chaotic impression. At the moment, her friend was far too involved to care, the churning gears of creativity working audibly as she picked up rejected costumes at random.

"I'll have to see it once you find it again," Rose said. "Sure you don't want to go hunting? Karkat's busy with his movie."

"Please," Kanaya said. "I don't think he even watches it any more, he certainly knows it by heart. We should get him to recite it for us, it would be entertaining to see just how far he can get."

Rose collected a pair of pants from the floor and handed them over. "I guess we all have our guilty pleasures," she said, smug.

Kanaya caught her meaning at once and over-indignantly snapped up the clothes and huffed. "Certainly." She collected another set of clothes from next to Rose's cleared corner, and Rose took the opportunity to lie down, watching her work upside-down. Rose was glad to see Kanaya working without any sign of the earlier discomfort; she imagined Kanaya was seeking comfort in the habit and regularity.

"I mixed up some rules about auspistices today," Rose said, as an ice breaker. "You'd have been ashamed of me." In reply, Kanaya seemed to smirk for a moment before Rose's view was blocked by a discarded blouse tossed over her face. She tried to swat it away but only ended up more tangled. "Ack, Kan--!" She struggled for a moment and found enough purchase to remove the thing and hand it back. Kanaya tried to keep a straight face as she accepted it, which Rose tried to match upside-down. A stare-off began, both trying to break the other, until Rose added: "Yeah, I feel your _burning_ scorn."

Kanaya laughed and at once clapped a hand to her mouth, and sat side-saddle on the opposite corner. There, she set her hand to her chin for a moment, pondering, before reaching down and brushing aside Rose's bangs.

Rose reached up to catch her by the hand. "Thank you, mother," she chided, a familiar admonishment Kanaya took with her typical chuckle, though Rose noticed the unwelcome return of that morning's monitored, close-lipped smile. Not wanting to do anything to provoke the accompanying mood if she could help it, Rose flopped over to her stomach (no doubt ruining whatever Kanaya had been attempting to do with her hair) and immediately changed the subject. "I've got a question, if you don't mind."

"Shoot."

"So... Tavros and Eridan just kissed, oh... a few minutes ago."

"Oh?" Kanaya gave a wry smile and Rose could not help but suspect her grease on some of the axles in that relationship. "That's good to hear, Eridan was incredibly nervous about the kiss."

"First kiss?" Rose asked with surprise. True, she had not had her first kiss either, but what with Eridan's boasting she had assumed different for him, with and maybe prior to Tavros.

"For them, yes," Kanaya said, anticipating Rose's needs as they had learned to do so well over the internet, "for Tavros, no. You have Vriska to account for that."

"Oh. ...oh." That detail had not quite made it into Kanaya's explanation of the second Tavros/Vriska incident. Rose reached out a hand and rubbed Kanaya's knee through her skirt. Kanaya smiled fondly, but neither made any effort to stay on that topic. Rose tented her hands and set the weight of her head on the peak. "That may change my question a little. Before I go any further: is that a sentimentally valuable interaction for Trolls?"

"The first kiss? Depends on the person."

Rose shrugged. "Generalize."

"Well..." Kanaya broke eye contact in thought and began to fiddle with her fingers, as though stitching the air. Rose covered her own mouth at that point, as she found the quirk nothing but endearing and wanted to do all she could not to draw Kanaya's attention to it, lest she stop. It reminded her of Jade's pencil-chewing, or John's occasionally head-bopping to the Ghostbusters theme regardless of whether or not it was playing: little realities that made her appreciate her friends all the more in person than she ever had away.

"For Eridan," Kanaya said, her fingers stopping with her thoughts, "it would be valuable because he had been trying so hard to reach that point in confidence. As a social construct it would be hard to pin down. _I_ would value it," the Virgo said, with almost with a shrug in her tone, as though she expected this information to come to no surprise across the board. "The Aradia of... of my youth expressed a similar sentiment, as did Sollux. I used to hope that they might have found some satisfaction on that end, but privately..." Kanaya lowered her voice. "Privately I don't think they had yet decided where they stood in one another's lives before it happened."

"They said they talked," Rose said, straying off-topic. "Just a few minutes ago they told me they had a talk when she... recovered?"

"Yes," Kanaya said. "Aradia trolled me after the fact, but..." She sighed.

 _Oh no, now I've done it,_ Rose thought, and spoke up. "No, I wasn't asking--"

"No, I never meant to start down that track." But Kanaya's expression did not improve. "If you'd believe it, it has been more surreal having Aradia back in her own mind than when she was working entirely for 'Fate.' Even when she was a ghost, or when we were getting used to her being a robot. It's like meeting a childhood friend after a dozen sweeps, knowing she's 'Aradia' from little expressions or tones of voice, but not knowing _her_ , or any of the stories she knows. She's grown." Kanaya sighed, but continued for a moment: "I think, with Sollux, she wants... but you didn't want to hear about that."

"It's not that I don't want to _hear,_ " Rose said. Feferi's anger in the discussion before had a staying power. "...It's that it's none of my business."

"Probably." Kanaya turned back, her eyes still sad, and she brushed her forefinger once through Rose's hair, around her ear, before Rose once again swatted her away from her compulsive grooming.

"I'll fix _your_ hair," she threatened, knowing Kanaya would never allow it even in the mess it was in. Indeed, she got an immediate glare in reply.

"Well you shouldn't be surprised at all you're hearing from everyone," Kanaya said, back on topic. "Everyone here's still in their early-mid-sweeps. If anyone started poking around in their relationships, they'd be lining up to spill their secrets before you know what to do about it."

"What makes you think I'm interested?" Rose asked, and Kanaya crossed her arms, looking offended.

"You think I don't know anything that's going on in this lab, don't you?" she sniffed.

"Bah," Rose said with a swat of her hand across Kanaya's midriff. "Can I ask my question or not?"

Kanaya defensively covered her lower body, grinning when Rose poked at her arms. "Of course. You were talking about Eridan and Tavros' first kiss."

Rose took a moment to put everything back in place in her mind. "So, say Vriska actually does want Eridan back."

"You think _that_ is the root of the problem?"

"There are a lot of roots," Rose admitted, and tapped her headband: "I pulled one out of my hat. Now," she said, and took the opportunity to actually sit up straight, comfortably at height with Kanaya's horns. "Imagine they're actually kismeses again. Now... what is Vriska supposed to feel towards Tavros?"

"You mean pretending all the other problems in your... hat..." Kanaya reached up and pulled off Rose's headband. She began to arrange her own hair and set the band up against her horns. "...You mean pretending they don't exist?"

"Yes," Rose said, unconsciously adjusting her own hair. Pink was not Kanaya's colour, but it would appear that mischief outweighed style. "See, with a poor understanding of polyamory on Earth, and that almost irrelevant, I don't really know what to base the relationship between Vriska and Tavros. How are you supposed to act towards your kismesis' matesprit? Your matesprit's kismesis?"

"Well," Kanaya said, "unless they're in an independent relationship, they're not really supposed to have anything to do with one another."

"Yeah, that's what I mean, they don't--"

"No," Kanaya said, gently touching Rose's hand. "Take it literally. Your hypothetical Tavros and Vriska really aren't supposed to have anything to do with one another. If you hated someone, what would your opinion be of the people that pitied them? But you can't hate those matesprits and moirails in turn. Turning On Your Kismesis' Matesprit Or Moirail Is Just A Cheap Shot It Is Deathly Frowned Upon" Kanaya's voice spilled out orderly, confident in her home ground. "Those People Pity Your Kismesis And Certainly Don't Want Anything To Do With You And if you'd rather chide or attack your auspistice than your kismesis, not only are you not letting her do her job, but you've probably got your hate wires crossed."

Rose shook her head. "I'm hearing a lot of explanation but also a lot of 'On the other hand, Vriska...'"

Kanaya smiled only slightly. "Vriska... well, I'm not trying to say that Vriska can't or shouldn't be in a relationship with Tavros. Or want to, for that matter. The trouble is our current exile in this labratory: Trolls do not normally form these kinds of interrelated groups! Do you follow?"

"I think so," Rose said. "Say I'm a Troll, and I go out and found myself a kismesis in the fleet. Not only would I generally not know his or her matesprit or moirail ahead of time, but I wouldn't _want_ to."

"Precisely!" Kanaya smiled. "There's Not Much Out There To Cover This Situation Rose. Vriska May Not Like It But Since She Has To Live With Tavros She Might Just Have To Wing It She, Eridan, if the both of them work out, and their auspistice." Suddenly her tone shifted, from lecture to worry. "You. And you. R-Rose."

Kanaya's stammering was equal parts distressing and endearing, and Rose managed to keep a neutral face as consequence. "Kan, what's the matter?"

She shook her head. "It's nothing. I'm sorry, just something in my throat."

Rose did not buy that for one second. "...You don't want to be one step removed from Vriska, do you?"

Kanaya slowly nodded, more tense than ever. Somehow, Rose got the impression that she had not even scratched the surface. Rather, Kanaya was so distressed, and so abruptly, that Rose knew she had hit on the very problem she had seen that morning, and it was starting to get worse. She felt horrible. Rose did not like to see any of her friends upset, psychological implications shoved aside. It was something she had learned first-hand after Sburb had provided so many opportunities. Her human friends preferred the back-to-normal route: Dave's non-reaction to his brother's death, John's overcompensating good humour, Jade burying emotion in a cloth of self-imposed maturity ... but Rose had never seen Kanaya even mildly upset in person before, and did not really know how to respond.

"...Kanaya," Rose said, "...if I may..." She reached out to hug her friend.

"W-wait!" Kanaya said, a moment too late, and she gasped in pain when Rose touched her shoulder. Rose immediately pulled back, and Kanaya looked away as though ashamed.

Rose could not beat around the bush another minute: "Kanaya, what's the matter?"

Kanaya did not immediately reply, instead lightly touching at the same spot. She tried to rub it but apparently this caused too much pain even under her own hands, but before Rose could say another word, she lifted it and opened her lips to show her teeth.

"...Oh my god, you lost a tooth?" What best equated to an incisor, in fact. Rose wanted to get a closer look, but Kanaya shut her mouth, a look on her face as though she was already expecting a reaction that Rose had not even begun to form. Assuming the loss was permanent, Rose could understand Kanaya's mood, but it did not explain the problem with Kanaya's shoulder. _Did she maybe get in a fight?_ Rose wondered, and began to think over any possibilities. Kanaya getting into a fistfight seemed odd enough. Rose pondered over her more violent housemates but could not come up with any reason for a fight. Karkat, Equius, Vriska...

 _Vriska._ Thinking of Vriska shot the answer straight into Rose's mind. Not Vriska's violent behaviour, but her appearance. Rose had seen too much of her sneering face in the past few days to forget it. Hunter's eyes, uncanny speed when she put her mind to it, and those shining, not-bone teeth that had appeared suddenly on her dreamself body just overnight after Karkat had lectured her about growing too much like a boy...

"You're moulting," Rose concluded. Kanaya replied with only a glum nod. "Is that... why it hurt when I touched you?"

"Rose, it hurts to _shower!_ " Kanaya pouted, and Rose could do nothing but gape. She could only assume this had something to do with Karkat's assertion that males and females shed differently, but could not imagine the particulars. Kanaya reached up a hand as though to demonstrate, but thought better of it and settled it instead of her own neck.

"Is there..." Rose hesitated. "Is there anything I can do?" Before the Trolls, Rose would not have hesitated for a moment, but with Kanaya things were different. Naturally she wanted to help, but as it stood, there was nothing she could really say or do. They could talk, Kanaya could make medical suggestions, perhaps, but she knew that was where it would end. Rose knew what she would do if she discovered John was hiding an injury or Jade needed someone to talk to about Human female things, but when it came to comfortting Kanaya the gestures would only crossing the moirail line, or the matesprit. Kanaya knew it too. Rose could tell by the way the offer of help was only received with a frown and and a murmur that might have been a sigh.

"No," she said. "I'm doing everything I can. Feferi helped me alchemize some cream and..." She sighed and reached up to her head and collected Rose's headband. She placed it back on Rose's head and adjusting her hair to fit. Then she smiled, but Rose was not so willing to just let the subject drop. Her friend was in pain and worse was trying to hide it. There had been little she could have done to help Jade or Dave or John as the game had been in session, less when it came to the point where all she could offer were a few kind words spat out through Pesterchum, mangled by her magic-corrupted fingers.

"Where does it hurt?" Rose asked, and Kanaya's face fell at her insistence on carrying on the conversation.

Kanaya held up her arms in defeat. "I don't know. Most my back, shoulder to hip. My heel." She pivoted so that her legs faced off the foot of the bed and tried to oscillate her foot, but that seemed to be just as painful. Instead, she set them both down, sitting knee-to-knee with Rose. She tossed Rose another forced smile, but it seemed that she had run out of ideas to lighten the mood. Rose had her own plans.

Pulling her legs up to her chest, Rose scooted back a bit and re-positioned, settling down just behind Kanaya. Before she could object, Rose wrapped her arms around her friend's stomach, careful not to make contact at any point along her back. Rose scooted up close with her lower body and sat astride, buying enough room to hold on just a little tighter, and to set her head as close as she dared to Kanaya's own, opposite her painful shoulder. The feeling of Kanaya's skin against her own was as alien as ever. It was rougher without being truly rough, firmer. Her hair was stiffer than a human's and her breathing patterns were just distinct enough to notice. Even her smell, no perfume like a normal day, was different. These traits were all things Rose had once felt divisive, when she and Kanaya had first met in the lab and had shaken hands, but now struck her as something else. Though Kanaya probably shared these traits with the other nine land-dwellers, Rose did not hug them, comfort them or sit on their desks from nine to five in a wandering conversation. To Rose, they were Kan's things. She was even a little resentful that those things were about to change, and that Kanaya was about to grow into someone new. It was her friend she held, it was her friend who cried, she knew her just by touch. She would have done anything to help her, in her mind. In deed, she did nothing at all.

And then Kanaya began to cry. She turned her head to the side to look at Rose, pale green tears forming in her eyes, and Rose saw some misery there that had no ground in the moult, something she had not even started to uncover. Rose pulled in closer, as close as she dared, and tipped her head in towards Kanaya's neck. And so she sat, eyes closed, as Kanaya's crying began to intensify, but Rose felt a hand crawl into hers, holding tigether every time it seemed she might pull away. Asking what was the matter never really crossed Rose's mind. She could not ask. If she did, she knew she would come to that petty line again between what they had and what they could not decide they wanted. This was all she could do. Kanaya trembled in her arms, crying mystery tears and cupping one of Rose's hands in her own, and it was the best Rose could do.

"I don't think..." Kanaya said, though she clung. "Rose..."

 _Tell her you'll help,_ she thought. _Tell her you'll do whatever it takes. Wouldn't you? Wouldn't you for Dave, for Jade or John?_ But no. To throw herself in front of the problem blind lay too close to moirallegiance. _But wouldn't that be_ wonderful? To shrug off the gathering anxiousness of their relationship and plunge into one not far divorced seemed right and simple, and only a few words would bridge to it. But it was hardly alone in its appeal. _Kiss her,_ Rose thought as well. And oh, did that have its own steady draw, and would be so very simple to cross, and stay and linger. Though Rose would not dare risk to sit closer, holding Kanaya in her arms felt right. But at the same time, Rose knew the selfish drive behind it, and whatever Kanaya's hidden probelm was, it might not be one a matesprit could handle, and that drive bothered Rose more than it it drew. And Rose was not entirely prepared to dismiss auspistice out of hand. True, it was not one of the pitying relationships, but it was founded in the very ideas that had first brought her and Kanaya together. She could play Kanaya's auspistice, and watch her friend stand tall as she deserved, and best of all, she would never have to feel the lingering worry that Kanaya's kismesis would disapprove of her. _But aren't we closer than that?_ Rose did not know.

Rose held tighter as she warred with her own mind, Kanaya's hand squeezed in her own. There was nothing she could do. It was not choosing her destination. It was the commitment. She looked up to Kanaya and their eyes met, paralyzed by indecision, and Rose could not take it. She had done nothing, Kanaya had done nothing, and Rose thought she had a better idea than she liked about why Kanaya had begun to cry when she had hugged her, why Kanaya had begun to shy away when they had started to discuss Rose's other relationships. She realized that if their situations had been reversed, she would have felt just as jealous to see Kanaya's life being filled without her. She could not tell Kanaya how she felt, and Kanaya was just as helpless.

"I have to..." Rose freed her other hand. "I have to..." But retreat was easy. "...I gotta go, Kan."

Kanaya's tears had begun to dry even before Rose had broken away, but still she replied only to nod her head, just barely, and then again. She raised her hand out of Rose's, feeling the need to feign a friendly wave goodbye, and Rose bolted from the room as soon as she found the button. She cut through the office and sat in the waiting room beyond, lacking the energy to take another step.

* * *

Rose tried to clean the tears from her face, but they just kept coming. She took several deep breaths to calm down, which helped for a time, but knew there was no way she could stay here. She had to leave Kanaya alone; she really had no right to stay. She eyed the stuck door that led into the disused halls and maintenance tunnels of the lab, and then she turned to the transportalizer. The Gods were waiting for her. She could almost hear their whispering in her heart, and she hated them for it. She could hear every taunt, and each one made her somehow less afraid. _Let them,_ she thought. _I'll show them. I'm not going to let them run my life just because I'm having a bad day!_ And so she stepped onto the pad.

Yet she found herself in an empty void, and there were no Gods to taunt her. "Where are you?" she shouted in their language. She had expected the one that disguised itself as Dave's brother to tease her about wanting to be with Kanaya, or the one dressed as the Dignitary to garble the whole affair into looking like some holier-than-thou outburst. She wanted to shout them down so badly that she almost expected one of them to taunt her about that instead. "Don't you have something to say?"

"At your service," said the god, and all the shades appeared at once. Dead faces, lost faces, familiar faces and strange appeared in all directions, speaking in one voice with a resonance that shook Rose to the core. Her ears rang, her nose bled and her stomach roiled as the voices spoke in screaming harmony. "After all, Rose, I'm only here because you want me to be."

Rose was ejected into the transportalizer room, where she stumbled back into the wall, reeling from metaphysical pain and a very physical bite on her tongue. There, she was immediately sick on the floor. For a moment, in her nausea, she understood. Almost every mystery was clear, like a puzzle that had only been missing a single piece, but it dissolved into its component parts in a moment and from there to useless sand, and Rose tossed them aside. A god with a thousand forms. She didn't care that she knew him, so she forgot his name. A god pretending to be many gods, the only voice she had ever heard from the first time she had spoken to them to today. She didn't care why he was misleading her, so she stopped wondering. The only god in the whole cosmos that was not indifferent to them, tiny germs in a grander scheme that used to sleep in bubbles and asked petty favours, and this one had instead singled her out and pursued her actively. That final thought was the first of many that did not even touch her consciousness. Rose only wanted to lie down and wait for the world to stop moving. She wanted to call Kanaya her friend, her girlfriend, her moirail and smile again. She wiped the blood away from her nose with her sleeve, and wished that this long and ugly day would end.

" _There_ you are! I've been looking all... Oh!"

Vriska. She had just appeared out of Aradia's portal, no doubt checking the Human's rooms. Vriska looked taken aback by Rose's appearance, and Rose was in no mood to humour her.

"What do you want?" Rose asked, slurring the first word as she tried to stand up straight. She forcefully wiped the tears from her eyes, for what little good it did.

"Did you just...?"

"Vriska!"

"Hey, I just came to talk!" Vriska's coming-to-talk voice was just below shouting, given the situation. "Maybe you should keep in mind: since I wasn't there, I don't have anything to do with whatever the hell is up with you!" Rose shot her a death glare, so she got back on topic. "John told me that Eridan asked you to auspistice for us."

Rose felt like she was going to be sick again. "Oh god, not again. Vriska, he doesn't _speak_ for me. It wasn't my damn--"

"I like it!"

Rose braced against the wall. "You... you what?"

"I really do!" Vriska rolled her dice in her hands, licking her lips and thinking deep, and looked even brighter when she was done. "I mean, this is the most proactive thing he's ever done! _Ever!_ He's got over his stupid kissing thing, he's growing up _hot_ , and... and..." Vriska thumped her fists together as she tried to put a finger on the last point, and made it with a dramatic finger-gun in Rose's direction. "And he totally went behind my back to do it! Underhanded, unbelievable! He's a new Troll!"

Rose could not believe it. Was Vriska even taking in her immediate situation? She had reacted to the tears, or maybe the vomit, but she showed no sign of adjusting her behaviour to match. She was wrapped up in a sudden happiness, almost gloating. In fact, yes. _Definitely gloating_ , Rose thought. Her smile a little too malicious, her tone a little too cutting. Maybe it was just a part of her imagination, wanting to find a target for her sudden onset of rage, but Vriska served admirably.

"And you... can keep him that way, c8't you, Rosie?" Vriska said with a lick of her lips. "Whaddya say?"

Rose could not believe her. Vriska's antisocial tendencies had rubbed her the wrong way from time to time, but as she understood Vriska was mostly improved from a darker past. But rational thought was no longer the order of the day. When Rose had cut between Eridan and his chance to be an idiot because of Feferi, she had been doing it mostly out of sheer desire not to see his stupid hero act another time. He was an idiot she was keeping in line. She had felt an urge towards playing guide to Kanaya, and while it was leagues from wanting to restrain Eridan, she knew that auspistices could occasionally have a caring relationship toward their mutually-hating charges. But here, with Vriska almost spitting in her face, she hated her, and she understood, for the first time, just a touch of what an auspistice was really for. In that moment, nothing in the entire world would have made her happier than to have her boot hovering above Vriska and Eridan both.

"You want my help?" Rose shouted, finding her strength. Vriska began to grin, licking her teeth, and nodded. "You want my help? Okay: here's my terms."

"Wait," Vriska said. "You don't get _terms_!"

Rose spat, bile and the iron tang of blood. "Oh yeah? Well how about this? I'm not an fool, Vriska Serket. You have twenty-three game levels on me. I know it, and I think you know it too. In fact, _I think that's why you're here!_ " Vriska's smile turned to a scowl, and Rose went straight up into her face. A little part of Rose realized just how foul her breath must have smelled, and that part was proud of it. "You think you can pick an auspistice you can just ignore and get away with anything? Not a chance. I want you to show me you're actually going to listen. Then I'm in."

"Oh, suddenly it's inter8sing!" Vriska grabbed Rose's hand and yanked Rose closer show she was not intimidated. Vriska held their linked hands up, almost as though they were sharing a pledge. "Lay it on me."

Any intimidation Rose felt was shoved aside. It was time for business. "All right: one! I want you to find a moirail. Someone level ninety-nine, just like yourself. So _not John, Vriska!_ You're a menace." Vriska tried to look flattered. "And if I can't curb you, someone else had better."

"Fine," Vriska said, and pointed past Rose's shoulder. " _She's_ my moirail." Vriska feigned a gasp. "I guess she never told you!"

Rose turned her head to see if Vriska was pointing where she thought she was: yes, straight at the jade green Virgo symbol. Rose's emotions toward Vriska roiled. Help her, kiss her, guide her, _hit her_! Rose was impressed she managed to keep her self control, and acted to the east of where she would much rather be if only for an instant. "Oh my god," she said instead, back on the clubbed path. "You actually are this deluded, aren't you?" Vriska did not look a mite offended, but as Rose continued, emotion surfaced: "Vriska, you and Kanaya haven't talked in _two months_! What, did you think you were doing so perfectly that she had no moirail advice for you whatsoever?"

"I..." She whispered, and Rose barely caught it. "But..." She said something else, whispered it under her breath, and it sounded as though she had said: "...Fussyfangs..."

"Oh, please say you really did think you were that perfect," Rose interrupted. "That would make my terrible day." It was mean-spirited, and Rose knew it. It was horrible, rubbing the salt into what was clearly striking Vriska as a wound, and it was exactly what Rose was supposed to do. Vriska's response was immediate and, most importantly: pointed her straight back towards Eridan.

"All right, deal. I can find a better moirail than her, no problem."

"Good self confidence," Rose said. "Too bad there isn't a better one to find." Defending Kanaya like that treated close to moirallegience, but Rose switched topics fast to keep both her own mind and Vriska's off balance. "Second, and listen close: you're going to apologize to Aradia for killing her."

Vriska burst out laughing. "I'll _what_?"

"Oh, you heard me," Rose said, and, still joined at the hands, she advanced, pushing Vriska back a step. "My job's to stop you both from running around hating everyone and their matesprit. You want to prove that you'll listen to me? You will make nice with the person you killed and who killed you back. For some reason, that sounds like something you just might hate, and that makes her a threat to your kismesis. Am I right?" No response. "Until then, I'm not your auspistice, and I don't even care. Deal?"

Vriska had not stopped laughing, even during the demands. "W-why..." she managed. "Why are you so _interesting_ all of a sudden? I mean, what the hell did Kanaya even say to you?" Rose realized she should have expected that. Certainly, if she was entitled to take shots at Vriska, retaliations would be inbound. But Vriska was finished, and decisively so: "Deal!" She shouted. "I'm in!" She broke their mutual grip and headed off towards her own transportalizer. "You'll see, Lalonde. This is going to be a cakewalk. I'll see _you_ tomorrow."

Rose was left alone in the transporter room, heart pumping and adrenaline flying, now enraged. Somewhere beneath her burst of energy was all that mass of feelings that she had picked up in Kanaya's, but her urge to go hide in bed and wish the day had never happened had vanished, replaced only with a wary apprehension regarding the conversation that had just occurred. She had to do something to vent off her frustration, and she started by taking out the ever-ready cleaning kit that John had passed out to them weeks prior, and mopped up her mess.

As she worked, her anger began to fade, and she became once again aware that the only real way out of the room was through the transportalizers or the maintenance tunnels. She was a mess, and she knew it, but there was no sense in staying, so as she packed her things away and she opened the hatch leading to the tunnels. It would be a longer trip, and she would have to bear the weight of her feelings with every step before she found her way to anywhere or one worth visiting, but she was not about to face the God alone again.

* * *

Even though they were well within the bounds of what the Trolls and Humans liked to pretend was waking hours something about that "day" seemed to have set their internal suns and moons far earlier than intended. Tavros stayed awake during the entire third movie thanks to Equius' constant repair work, but both he and Eridan fell asleep at the start of the fourth, and had to be helped back to their respective rooms. In a reverse of his usual, Gamzee had never bothered to return from the kitchen. Karkat found John back on the couch, waiting for him when he returned from lifting Eridan back to his recouperacoon. His Human couch-buddy said something about Vriska wanting to talk to Rose. Karkat did not really care about Vriska's goings on, so long as she was not going on armed. Besides, Rose was with Kanaya and, Karkat hinted, probably not going to come out just to see Vriska. As for the rest of their group, Sollux and Feferi were probably still fighting and no one had seen Strider for ours or Pyrope since she went for lunch. A half an hour into the fourth and final movie of the series, Karkat's beloved favourite, Kanaya arrived.

"...uh oh," John said at once upon seeing her.

Karkat looked up, trying to ignore the sound of Aradia and Equius bickering in one corner of the room as he made some adjustments to her left arm. Kanaya, in Karkat's professional opinion, looked like absolute shit. Nepeta's sad groan was enough to communicate the mood for all of them.

"Oh Kanaya," Jade greeted. "Didn't it work out? I'm so sorry."

"Karkat," Kanaya said, sputtering, and ignoring the Humans entirely. "I couldn't tell her... anything! It just lodged in my throat!" While John and Jade looked a little snubbed at being ignored, Nepeta treated Kanaya's preference it entirely in stride, and glumly began to fiddle with her tablet, making an ugly update to her charts. "I just... I..." She looked him in the eye, ashamed. "I just screwed up."

Karkat groaned. "Ugh, just.. come here you big..." he spread his arms and she immediately fell into them. "...Stupid."

"Karkitty," said a voice from the floor. "Maybe you should..." Nepeta pointed over her shoulder toward the feuding kismeses and Karkat gave her a nod.

"Just... come on," he said, and guided Kanaya back to the transportalizer.

* * *

_"So, what?" Karkat asked. "I figure you're a talker."_

_"A what?"_

_"You know, you want to talk about it." Karkat shrugged. "Some people want to talk about it. I'm not one of them, you don't see me shooting my mouth off."_

_"Of course."_

_"Besides, it doesn't really work. Those two Humans were trying to talk their way to Strider all damn day and it didn't do them a thing."_

_"I'm sure..." Kanaya said, as though to counter him, but she could not find the energy. "I don't... I don't even know if I understand what was going on in my head enough to talk about it."_

Sollux sat in the dim of Feferi's bedroom, waiting out alone with a knotted heart. Feferi had not ultimately locked him out, but she had made a point of switching off every set of lights from the transportalizer to her door. He only found his way through thanks to memory and a few bumps to the shin, and now he sat at the edge of the pool she kept as her own, feet bare on the wet edge of the pool and surrounded by rusted exercise equipment of all shapes and purposes.

Feferi surfaced, the underwater lighting casting surreal shadows over her face as the only set in the room. "So..." she said, staying off in the middle of the water.

"FF, I'm sorry," Sollux said at once, before she could say another word. "And if you want to keep being mad at me, that's fine, you've got every right. I was just trying to find a chance to talk to you, and when Karkat went a little crazy with it I just... I didn't do a thing."

Feferi listened, to his relief, though she sunk down to her eyes as she took it all in before returning with the first of what Sollux figured was going to be many questions.

"You... really didn't tell Terezi to trip me?"

"Holy crap, no! FF..." Sollux crawled forward to the edge of the pool and clutched the edges. "If you think I'd do anything to hurt you then I'm really... I don't know what to say!"

"No, wait, no!" Feferi swam up to the edge of the pool to face him. "That's not what I _meant_! Ugh, I guess I'm not very good at this either." Her face fell, and she began, once more, to sink. "I mean... I guess that is what I said. I just wanted to know why you didn't want me to talk to Aradia! If you didn't want them to stop me, why didn't you... Sollux, why didn't you tell me what was going on?"

"I..." But Sollux was Sollux in the end, and his emotions gave way to offended logic. "...ii wa2n't goiing two insult you by ju2t telliing you, you know" Sollux knew she would hate that but it was something he could not help: Feferi knew his emotional and logical sides were both part of the same coin but knew as well that she hated the way he would jump between them. Well, what was said was said.

He felt a little better when she only took the shift with a grunt of annoyance. "Sollux, I'm not that smart, don't you get that? You're the smart one." It was hard to tell if she was being serious or if she was levelling the field between them for their talk. It was something he was not fond of, which levelled the field all on its own.

"FF, if you weren't as smart as I think you are we wouldn't still be together. I'd have scared you away a long time ago." Feferi shook her head, and used the gesture as an excuse to look away. Sollux sighed and lay down on the edge of the pool. "What's an array?"

"What?" She had to check to see if he was being serious. "It's a... I don't know! It's one of those things you get when you type the square brackets."

"Uh huh."

"It's a whole bunch of variables in a list."

"Yeah, and what's a function?"

"Sollux," she protested, but he reached out and touched a finger to her lips. "...it's a block of commands you can put somewhere else."

"And did I have to sit you down and tell you either of those things? Ever?"

Realization dawned. "I..." Feferi laughed. "You really think that's special?"

"It's basic but I didn't have to lift a finger. You could totally get into this if you wanted to You're ahead of KK with just that and he's been trying for years."

She giggled. "That's neat! I'd like to say you could be a diplomat--" Sollux cut her off with a snort of his own laughter, which only seemed to encourage her. "I guess I haven't been a very good diplomat myself today, have I?" Feferi hung her head. "Couldn't talk to Aradia, couldn't talk down Terezi... I just wanted it to be a SURPRIS-E!"

"A surprise?"

Feferi just nodded. "I should have just done it, I didn't think you'd all get it so... confused."

Only a few minutes before, the idea of Feferi breaking up with him over this whole debacle had made Sollux bark out his fear in front of the human, of all strangers. Here, inches away from Feferi, smiling, his fears were easily set aside. For now she was still his matesprit, and no matter what she might have in mind, he loved her. "FF..." His composure slipped, maybe a mood swing or maybe just the weight of things falling down on top of him, and he wrapped his arms around her. She rubbed her cheek up against his, arms wrapped tight and his hand dipping in and out of the water as she breathed

As their emotions calmed, Sollux tipped his head and kissed Feferi gently on the cheek, to which she responded with one of her own, then along the edge of his lips, and then towards but stopping just before. Both their eyes closed, she whispered: "Come into the water."

Sollux's eyes fluttered open just in time to catch the grin that had started to form on her lips. "W-what?"

Before he could even think of stopping her, her legs went up to the edge of the pool and she pushed off, pulling him in with her. He sputtered back to the surface and the sound of her laughter, and tried to meet her with a splash. She shrieked and dove. Having lost track of her in the dark of her room, Sollux growled with frustration and checked his glasses for damage. Finding none, he dealt with the only thing he felt he was able: getting rid of his water-logged, heavy shirt. Feferi breached a few feet from him, wet hair hanging haphazardly about her face, and bit at her knuckle as she watched him as though appraising. "So..." she asked. "why were you all so eager to keep me from Aradia, anyway?"

Sollux was not so involved in what was going on at that very moment to ignore the loaded question. "I... Well, 'we' all sort of figured you were uncomfortable about the whole... her being my ex and me killing her thing. I mean, I would be."

"And... so?"

"Well... bring that up is hard for me to relive and for Aradia..." Sollux rubbed at the back of his neck as he treaded water. He was not sure he wanted to approach this so directly. "It got out of hand."

Feferi frowned. "But why didn't you just talk to me? I mean, I could have just not brought it up, it wasn't like I was just going over there to make her _cry_. She's a robot!" But now that the facts were in front of her, Feferi did not waste one second working out the last of the puzzle. "Oh holy carp," she said, to Sollux's surprise and utter fear: giggling. "You have no idea what I wanted to talk to her about!"

Sollux fled back from the splashes, but had little room to flee. He was completely aghast. "well ii diidn't thiink ii wa2 that wrong I..."

Feferi cleared her throat and righted herself, taking hold of a lock of hair and spinning at her side. She approached him elegantly and stuffily, as though walking through the water. "Sollux Captor, you big stupid _boy_ , I think you need to get to know me a perch better than that!" Her smile broke through her tone and he felt the blood rushing to his face in a yellow-faced blush to be ashamed of.

She was almost up to him at that point, and he reached out and pressed his hand to her stomach, drawing it along her side and up to her back where he pulled her in towards him. "Really?"

"Sollux Captor, you just got a whole bunch of Trolls to believe you when you were totally wrong!" Feferi reached up and tapped him on the nose. "I think you _are_ a diplomat. We have to turn those powers to good, mister!" And she pulled him in to a kiss, her hands anchoring them to the wall he only pulling back when they realized a strand of her hair and gotten caught between their lips. Feferi started to giggle. "You have no idea what I really do want with Aradia, do you?" Sollux shook her head. " )(-E)(-E)(-E)(-E)(-E... I didn't realize t)(is was going to be FUN, too! And I'm just getting started! And you can help!"

Sollux rolled his eyes, not that she could really see, and kissed her on the cheek. Feferi pulled ever closer, and ran her leg up his own. "You know..." she cooed. "This is exactly why Karkat told you to lock all our rooms."

"fuck KK" Sollux muttered, and spun the both of them about to swap places with Feferi. "becau2e a2 a matter of fact, iit wa2 my iidea two lock the pad2 I'm the only one who can run the locks."

"Why would you... oh!" she gasped as he cupped her face in one hand, and returned a mischievous smile. "O)( you're sneaky when you're on game."

"Y-EA)(" he said, and met her lips again, the water splashing up gently against the edge of the pool in the dark of night.

* * *

_"You know, Terezi's a fucking talker. Sometimes I think she expects me to rattle on about every single thing on my mind, but I know when to keep my mouth shut."_

_"You should..." Kanaya's urge to mediate kicked in past her malaise. "You should probably talk to... her..."_

_"Oh, okay," he said. "You're a normaliser."_

_"What? Karkat, what are you talking about now?"_

_"I mean you want things to be normal. We can do that. You can lecture me about my relationships for an hour and I'll enjoy every goddamned minute of it, won't I? I mean, isn't that the point in the end? To get back to normal?"_

Dave watched the skies disinterested. His thoughts were indoors, so he forced them out by sitting out, atop some huge heating unit plugged into the side of the lab. It kept him warm as he kept guard, but there was no sign of Jack, or of his or Aradia's past or future selves. He had already been out to fight Jack twice since he had been forced to let Rose die in the dead timeline, and he was just starting to let in the hope that he might be able to sleep tonight.

"Hi," said a voice to his side, and he turned, surprised, to see Aradia sitting next to him. He could not believe it. She was made of metal and was sitting on metal, and getting there could not have been very stealthy. How had she gotten there? Was he really that distracted?

"Evening," he said, conversationally.

But Aradia did not say another word, and Dave had nothing to really say to her. They looked out over the blank sky for danger together. Dave did not know why she had come. She had never come to watch with him before. Normally they split the job so that the other could pretend to live inside the lab. Today she watched with him.

A half an hour passed, in silence. Aradia kept her watch with multiple spectrums, and Dave frankly felt inadequate for just using his bare eyes. His thoughts wandered back indoors, and he was forced again to return to the present and the perfect still of semi-timeless space. When he did, he found a metal hand outstretched before him, and in it clutched a toasted sandwich with some sort of jam in between. He accepted it with a simple "Thank you," and Aradia nodded to the sky. And they sat, and they watched. Dave ate his sandwich in peace. Time, their servant and master, ticked by in that strange way it managed in timeless space, and Dave felt, for once, at ease.

When he had almost finished his sandwich, he spoke up. "...Terezi 'broke up with me' because I said she was just a friend. I didn't know that was bad."

Aradia looked up, though Dave did not meet her eyes at first. When he did he found her open, but aloof. Her robotic body mimicked a sort of caring passivity, and at first he wondered if it had done its job wrong.

"So... no thoughts on this?" he asked.

Aradia shrugged. "If you want me to insult her for not telling you she had feelings for you, I will, but I don't really think you want me to."

Dave tossed aside the remaining crust of his sandwich. "What happened to 'You're allowed to be sad, you know?' I'm pretty sure that's what you said."

"Well you are, but since you don't seem to care to, I don't see any reason to drag it out. It _sucks_ , this Terezi thing..." Dave blinked behind his shades. To hear a robot say that something "sucked" undercut every piece of bad science fiction Egbert had every hoisted on him. In a way it made it easier to remember that she was a Troll. "But you can handle it."

She smiled and turned back to the sky. Dave was left overcome and strangely proud that she thought of him that way. John and Jade had pounded up and down his door trying to talk and bribe, but it seemed that all he had really needed was that, simple and to the point. He didn't know how he felt about Terezi any more - he certainly wouldn't have admited anything one way or another, but thoughts ran away on him - but the painful idea of losing her as a friend in the first place had gone entirely. Aradia had been tactful, concise, _hell_ , downright...

He stood up. "Aradia." She looked up, her body language casual, and he smiled as smooth as he could, which was a fair bit. "Wanna go for a walk?"

And she returned his smile with a smirk. Her music boxes appeared at her side, and she hovered up to level with him. "...I wanna go for a _run_?" And with a moment, challenging him with her eyes, she took off into the air, towards time.

"Oh hell yeah!" Dave said to no one in particular, as he pulled out the timetables and started after her. There was still no sign of Jack. Good, the fucker had better stay away. Dave had been waiting all his life to meet someone else this _cool_.

* * *

"Look, Kanaya, am I reading this wrong? Tell me what happened, lecture me about Terezi, but don't sit there and mope. Why are you even here?"

Kanaya shook her head, curled up in a ball by her clothes in Karkat's not-very-secret secret room. "Because..." But she did not seem to have an answer. Kanaya's tears had been rejuvenated in the computer room, at the sight of a caring face. "You're my leader. You're..." a waver returned to her voice. "You're _strong._ "

Karkat heaved a mighty, leaderly sigh and crawled over across the room to sit next to Kanaya. "Does your back still hurt?" he asked as he settled down.

"Yes."

"Then don't take this personally," he said, and reached over to pull her over sideways with a grip on her behind. Sniffling still, she leaned over and laid her head against Karkat's chest, and a peace settled in over the secret room, save when she shifted a touch head and accidentally brushed him with the tip of her bent horn.

And even Karkat was able to keep the quiet, for a few minutes at least. "Should have guessed." he said. "You're one of this unbearable quiet-support types. I-pity-you-so-here's-a-hug-you-wuss. Fuck, you're a sap."

"Rose tried this," Kanaya said. "It's like she knew. It was _perfect_ , and I just wanted to tell her, one way or the other, but I just didn't..."

"Yeah, I get it," Karkat said. "But I don't think I need to remind you that the plan was to _just fucking tell her how you feel_. You know, I don't think you got us all together for advice just to ignore it. John and I don't agree on much, but when me, him, Jade and even the cat-wearing Mistress of Subtlety all reach the same romantic conclusion, you probably should have rolled with us. Then you can get all the fucking hugs you want no awkwardness required. Until then, you're stuck with me. Think about _that_ why don't you."

Kanaya nodded, and Karkat felt fairly confident that he had gotten through to her, and began to go off on a tangent. Not out loud, of course. He started by muttering a few things under his breath, something about John that he really would rather she not catch. She let it slide, thank goodness, and curled up against him.

"Any other types, Karkat?" she asked, interrupting an excellent jab at his past self. Karkat scowled down at her.

"Fuck, really, what am I, your pity dictionary?" She laughed (Karkat chose to take that personally), but he put his mind to it all the same. "Naw," he said. "...well, maybe. But like, for Humans. You know, something weird."

She chuckled. "Weird. How weird?"

" _Really_ weird," he replied, the first in a few general insults that soon had him levelling his verbal firepower against his past self yet again. As he did, Kanaya seemed to slowly drift off toward sleep. A few more minutes on, as Karkat was wrapping up his argument, he turned up the volume: "...I can be quiet," he said, having long strayed off subject. "I can be loving. I don't get why people think I can't."

"Shut up, Karkat," Kanaya muttered. But she smiled as she said it, and gave him a squeeze. Her horn dug into his chest again, but to be honestly, it only bothered him a little. "You're our leader. We all know you could take care of anything."

"Especially if I find it personally humiliating."

" _Especially._ "

* * *

Throughout the lab, the day was dying down into proper night. Even though the last movie was only half over, Equius came from his fight with Aradia to pick up Nepeta, reminding her that she had promised him that she would clean out her sylladex of "filth and meat." She surrendered without a fight, waving forlornly to Jade. Jade waved back and took a seat next to John, sad to see Nepeta go but happy for some time alone with her best friend, who she distracted from time to time by tickling his feet. Eridan and Tavros lay in their own recouperacoons, dreaming sopor-muffled dreams and smiling in spite; Vriska lay awake in hers, plotting and strategizing and smiling all the broader. And as the lab began to sink into the quiet of their mutually declared sleeping hours, Rose found one last bastion of sound as she emerged from the tunnels. Though it struck her odd, even preposterous to hear it, it was definitely laughter.

"So, so, the lusus says 'Well I don't get it,' and the other one says 'Holy shit, a talking Uberduck!'"

Gamzee's uproarious laughter greeted Rose: she found him practically falling over himself against one wall of the cafeteria, and found Terezi watching and shaking her head.

"Gamzee, you don't get it!" she said with a smile. "You haven't got one of them _yet_."

Gamzee shook his head, unable to otherwise communicate as tears streamed down his face. "Ducks... are so...!" But they never did learn what was so funny about ducks, and Terezi laughed on her own, though into her palm. Rose could not believe it. The atmosphere in the kitchen could not be more different than the one she had left, more different, in fact, than the entire rest of the laboratory. But there they sat, like some cackling island, oblivious to the moods of those that shared the lab. When Terezi saw Rose standing there, lost, confused and still deeply hurt, it seemed to take her a moment to realize there was no reason for her to be laughing too. But comprehension overcame humour in seconds and she waved Rose in. "H3Y" she said, showing her toothy grin. "Gamzee said you might come."

Rose was not really sure how in the mood she was to see Terezi. She still remembered the scene in the lab too well, and was not willing to relive it, but something made her step forward and into the light, right arm clutched awkwardly in the left. Terezi's grin was unnerving. Was this Gamzee's doing? He _had_ said he was going to cheer her up, but really? Gamzee and a bunch of heavily-peppered hot dogs?

Gamzee calmed down at the sight of her. "Bra, T just told me about Eridan telling you off about Tavros. Dude's completely fucked."

"Oh?" Rose had almost completely forgotten about Tavros and Eridan in the noise of the afternoon. "N-no, that's not it. I had a talk with Vriska and... with Kan."

"Oh, is that how it is?" Terezi frowned. "I thought she..." but her tone changed at once, impossible and dramatic as though gravity itself had reversed. "Well, you came to the right place! This is the lonely hearts club! W3'R3 G3TT1NG THROUGH OUR H34RTBR34KS TOG3TH3R" And then she grinned.

Rose was not sure which part she found more ridiculous: that the Terezi that had knocked her on the floor early that afternoon was willing to address "heartbreak" or that... "Gamzee? You're not heartbroken, are you... heartbroken?"

Terezi looked over at Gamzee, who did not seem to understand the question. "Hm, you're right," she said. "Gamzee, you can't be here if you're not heartbroken!"

Gamzee took this news with obvious disappointment. "Aw, fuck man, I forgot!"

"No, it's good, I H4V3 4 PL4N. Trust me," she said, teeth in his face, "I'm a lawyer." Terezi cast a look over her shoulder to Rose and giggled unwittingly. "See, Gamzee, we just need you to go through heartbreak! You wanna go out some time?"

"I... wHuT?"

"Oh Gamzee!" Terezi said, and she swooned into him, lucky that he was cognizant enough to catch her as she slipped into the high-faulting tongue of theatre. "My love for your beautiful painted face grows with every passing hour!" She thrust a victory fist into the air. "Our love shall pierce the heavens!"

"Bro, what the hell are you--"

Terezi's character abruptly shifted to later in the play, and she turned about and grabbed him by the collar. "Where have you been? Don't you know I wait up for you? Why do you hurt me like this, my love?" She took a step away from him and clasped her hands above her the pump of her collapsing and expanding vascular system and jumped ahead to the grand finale, eyes glistening with stage tears. Rose was a bit to upset to laugh as she hammed it up, despite Terezi's best efforts, but it was getting harder and harder as time went on. "Gamzee, don't you see this is all I can take? You have to draw the line! _I_... have to draw the line. Me or the sopor, Gamzee!" A dramatic about-face and accusing, lawyerly finger-point. "Me or the sopor?"

Gamzee, who was either catching on to the game or had simply been that offended, lost his confused mask and stood up straight, arms crossed. "Terezi, if you're going to cut me off from my sopor, I think we both know how this has to end."

Rose could not believe what she was watching, and she was finding it hard to keep focus. Gamzee harrumphed and turned his head away, and so did Terezi, and then she returned to her normal self and clapped. "4W3SOM3 W3'R3 4LL M1S3R4BL3 NOW And you know what that means!" She reached out to Rose and tickled her knees with her pointer finger, but when she did not respond, Gamzee, back to himself as well, did instead.

"FuCkInG HoT DoGs!"

"Fucking hot dogs!" Terezi agreed, throwing her pointing hand into the air.

They both led a bewildered Rose into the kitchen, which had all but exploded since she had been there last. Ketchup lined one wall in what looked roughly like a happy face. Discarded hot dog buns lay staling on opposite sides of the room, some of them stuck to the walls, and the sink was overflowing with pots and pans. Each time Rose noticed a successive mess, Terezi and Gamzee would just laugh harder. Ultimately, Gamzee guided Rose to the one, giant pot still simmering on the heat.

"...Holy crap," Rose said when she saw it. "How many..."

"Well," Gamzee said, philosophically. "Let's say I was in the room hitting the multiplier to make four hot dogs, two each for me and my bro here. Now, I'm not really sure what happened--"

Rose was. "You made forty-four hot dogs, didn't you?" Terezi shrieked with laughter. "...Why did you cook them all?"

"Rose!" Terezi impatiently jabbed her on the shoulder with a foreclaw and held out a plate with two hot dog buns on it. "C'mon, get ready and pick toppings!"

She was so excited that Rose could not help but smile a little at her eager insistence, and did as she was told, shuffling off to the fridge as Terezi and Gamzee began to talk in the corner, giggling about a message they had stuck to the fridge in incomprehensible Alternian magnets.

Rose opened the fridge to find chaos, chilled. All the same, it was probably the most organized part left of the kitchen after these two had gotten to it, but that did not mean she could find anything she wanted. Terezi and Gamzee had set no less than three completely empty ketchup bottles immediately in the way of the top shelf, and Rose could not find a single container of mustard. She began to remove things and stack them to her left, but stopped as a particular item caught her eye.

A squeezeberry, ripe and fresh as any of the others Gamzee had shown her earlier in the day, if smelling a little like the meat it had been stored aside. Rose pinched it at the fat end and its jelly squirted out of the other and dribbled down her fingers. She laughed in spite of herself, Terezi and Gamzee's giggling infectious. She looked up, half-ready to share the joke on the tip of her tongue, when she remembered exactly who served as her audience. Terezi caught her look, and Rose tried to hide the berry, worried that provoking memories of Dave would ruin Terezi's peculiar good mood. But she had forgotten with who she was dealing. Terezi smelled the squeezeberry around the fridge door, and to Rose's surprise began to sputter with laughter afresh.

"Pfft... Rose. Rose. 'Just HOW HIGH...'"

Rose could not help it, and they said it together. "HOW HIGH do you have to BE..."

She had to do it. She _had_ to. And so did Terezi, and Gamzee. Squeezeberry on one dog, grape jam on the other, and they discovered just how easy it was to suppress one's gag reflex when one was busy making fun of someone else for being unable to hold down. But there was no way it could end there. Whipped cream was next, then ice cream and humus. It took a while, but for Rose, as it had Terezi, the laughter began to overcome her wories and replaced the bad taste in her mouth with the literal bad taste of processed meat and fruit. Every once and a while, some grown voice would hiss at Rose for what she was inflicting on herself, but her inner child shouted it down. Indeed, to Rose's surprise, her inner child was very loud at the moment, and not so inner as she had supposed. And so it was her fault, though she would never admit it, that they started the bread fight, flinging baked goods at one another in the luxury of infinite food.

Out of alchemized bread, they kept at it, full of energy. After an hour, Terezi and Gamzee had taught Rose a round of an Alternian grub's song Gamzee had started to hum. Rose returned the favour with a drinking song, which for her mother had sufficed as a children's song. After another hour, Rose had tried to spin Terezi's cane with the buried experience of three forgotten rhythmic gymnastics lessons some time in her past, dropping it to the ground after every second spin. Terezi, in turn, nearly set fire to a bench with one of the things that popped out of Gamzee's inventory, and they put it out with dirty hot dog water. It was the most fun Rose had had in two solid months.

Gamzee, on request, explained his crazy clown religion in detail (they both understood it far less than they had before, and Terezi swore some of the details had changed). Rose recounted how she, Jade and John had clustered into a memo scrambling to figure out exactly what they were expected to _say_ to Dave about his new pride and joy. Rose laughed at the story of how Terezi met Equius for the first time, and how his attempts to be polite and formal were mangled by Nepeta pouncing up for a piggy-back. Terezi laughed at Rose's attempts to get Jade to tell her her name, which had taken almost a month and a half thanks to narcolepsy, confused conversations with her dreamself, and sheer misunderstandings. Gamzee laughed at everything.

In time, they were the only ones in the entire lab making the slightest bit of noise, and an ugly day came at last to its formal end. They were not the only ones awake. One had settled in to cure her open wounds in the comfort of a silent other, wrapped in warm arms in a quiet hideaway. Some had found their answer in openness, and set aside their misunderstandings to embrace a mutual understanding and growing passion. Others had slipped away from the lab to find their old lives unchanged by one unfortunate incident, their personal identities durable and strong, pulled back on track by a helping hand and ready to be built anew. And the luckiest of all were those that found something left to laugh about, to remember the durability, passion and support of life and others all at once, eating stupid things and telling stupid stories in the impossible comfort of new friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been edited a few times (four, to be precise, all of them fairly large edits), but I still have the original. That in mind, if I'm going to sit here and pat myself on the back for anything in this fic, it's predictions. Dave's reaction to his brother's death? Rose being unable to communicate (1) while grimdark (2)? Ding, ding, and ding, this chapter came out in December.
> 
> But I lose a point as well: there was still a lingering reference to Rose's wands having magic (it was how Terezi originally started that gag fire), put there before Andrew clarified that all her magic was rooted in the Horrorterrors.


	11. Chapter 11

" _With me!_ "

The future Dave and Aradia caught the demon from the left and right, and it blocked once, twice before the current Dave and Aradia struck at his back. Their coordination was beautiful. The demon had to timeslip: an obnoxious trick he was using to guarantee he would outpace Dave and Aradia's flash stepping. A brief green flash and he would vanish to some safe place in the universe, then back in an instant in a new position with sword turned to face the attacker. Dave felt his own blade slide against his opponent's for a moment before Aradia grabbed Jack's closer to the pommel and threw its course. Dave's blade hit in Jack's back thigh and he transformed, bolting away in the form of green lightning, to safety. The safety eroded almost instantly as Jack was forced to raise his blade again to engage with the Dave and Aradia from just a few minutes past.

The current Dave (as far as his stream of consciousness was concerned, or "Day 23 Hour 3-b" to all the other Daves and Aradias) tried to keep his memories of the fight straight in his head. He knew the ones from the future, Day Twenty-Five Something-Something, would cut off to help his and Aradia's earlier selves in a moment. He knew because it had already happened, before they had jumped back to reinforce themselves, a few minutes from now. Just another day at the office.

"we have ab0ut forty seconds" said current incarnation of Aradia, hovering to his left. "just after y0u take the hit 0n your br0w and future y0u clips n0ir's arm"

Dave remembered and nodded confirmation even though neither of them were going to break eye contact off the fight. Of course he remembered. After all, he had the rapidly healing scar to remind him. He watched the fight between Jack and their alternates, waiting for the opening. There was really no room for more than four of them at close range, not without frequently breaking off, and Dave found that kind of coordination with his future selves more complicated than was really necessary.

It was easier to watch Jack. Right parry, left-to-back, shove, parry right again, timeslip to reverse. "Be honest," he said, count at twenty, nineteen, eighteen... "Fighting an evil demon with our future selves. Best first date, or worst?"

"On my 'first date' with Equius I tore out my own heart and smashed it to a pulp on a rock."

Right, the kismesis. "'Kay. I asked for that. You're going to _have_ to tell me that one." Spin, blow caught by future Aradia, timeslip out of grasp, stab left, cut right, stubbed elbow to the face. Five, four, three, two...

"n0w"

The demon cut high-right, and they were half way there. Dave's past self pulled back to dodge but the blade went straight through his shades, slicing through his eyebrow and the bone of the socket. His future self, no doubt waiting for the opening he already knew would come, brought his sword down on the shoulder of Noir's severed arm and the green light radiating from the demon danced the way it did when he was truly hurt. Their past selves broke away, past Aradia providing cover long enough for Dave replace his shades with a fresh copy and to choke down one of Egbert's disgusting raspberry gummy potions. In the meantime, the current Dave and Aradia took their places.

Blades clashed, Jack's sword striking against Dave's or against heavily armoured robot hands with every stroke, and they left him no room or time to use any more complex powers than basic survival would allow. The constant fencing could not last forever, and perhaps the fact that the Daves and Aradias knew exactly when it was going to fail paved the way for their own mistake. After Jack's fifth attack in his direction, current Dave's sword bounced aside just enough to free both of Jack's arms simultaneously.

"Away!" Future Dave ordered and, fully aware of what was about to happen they all split away at once. Current Dave caught his minutes-younger self on the shoulder as he instinctively approached to take the opening. He pointed to Jack as explanation, whose hand and stump had begun to glow with white-hot power. Jack barked at them, enraged at their prescience.

"We'll take it from here," current Dave told himself, and past Dave returned Jack's call with a smirk before vanishing into the time stream with his partner. The remaining four kept a lock on Jack.

"Big money, big money, no whammies," Dave muttered, 80's game shows serving passably for his ironic purposes though he would have preferred a call-back to _The Newlywed Game_. They watched Jack work, sending out his feelers. They knew better than to approach, as lines of light spread out from the demon in a latticework through space and time. The first time they had tried to attack him when the lattice was up and searching, Aradia had been seized and had been forced to abandon her body as he took control. They had only been rescued by their deep future selves, from somewhere even further ahead than Dave stood now, and he had no mind to force them back again. They could handle themselves.

The lattice changed colour, twisting and warping as it slipped into the past, and finally grasped something substantial. The demon braced its stumped arm to seal the catch and Dave tried to get a look across the thread in time to see just what he had found. A tall monster with heavy claws for hands greeted his probing powers at the other end. The beast was hunting and otherwise unaware of the temporal hook in its side; all the same, some fragment of its personality fought against the fisherman and the line shook and pulled as though trying to wrench free of its own accord.

"Karkat's lusus," Aradia muttered, though Dave, with his mind half in the past, was not sure whether she was the one from his present or future.

The next line, from the same hand, hooked around a smaller beast: feline with two mouths, also hunting. A tiny, infant figure, impossible for Dave to make out as it was not the subject of the hook, thrashed about in the bush beside it without any of the cat's practiced stealth. The cat monster was also unaware of the hook, this time in its eye, but the line shook just as violently. Dave thought he heard the lusus' soul growling and hissing with ever lash of the thread. Last of all, Jack's right hand hooked a final beast, but Dave did not have time to take it in before the demon snapped the loose, still-probing lines and charged straight into him. The three temporal connects, resembling hovering balls of colour, floated above Jack like balloons tethered by lines of time and light, and the first line pulsed with an active power.

Dave raised his blade to parry, but Jack reached out with his severed arm and somehow grabbed the blade with an unshakable grip. The future Aradia went for his head before Noir could bring the blade fully to bear, buying Dave enough time to pull aside. Jack turned his attention to her for a moment, just as current Aradia and Dave's future self joined in and forced him to timeslip. Dave's sword was freed from the inexplicable grasp, and he was able to get a look at the trouble for the first time. Through the power of the temporal connection to Karkat's lusus, Jack had sprouted a spectral arm out of First Guardian power, scratching clear and unclear back and forth from the shape of a giant crab claw.

"God dammit, I hate when he does this." Dave pushed back to the fight, just as the demon slammed the open claw across and into current Aradia's left arm, ripping open a section. Dave sent his blade up, harmlessly through the semi-tangible arm and into Jack's chin. The light of Jack's power swarmed in pain and he reverted to his dog mentality in a spat of senseless, if hideous, barking. Future Aradia seized the initiative. One hand on a music box, she synched her timeline with that of the line hooked to the crustacean lusus, and took ahold. She pulled it hard, yanking it out of Jack's wrist and control, and then let it drop, where it snapped back to its victim. The line disappeared like mist into time, and Jack's spectral hand vanished.

Both Daves covered her as she fell back to a safer position. The future Dave left off with a quip: "It's not nice to steal, Jack." Jack returned the quip with another bark, and an honest attempt to bite one of them. Failing that, he tugged with his stump on the second temporal line.

A shimmering of green light appeared near the demon's muzzle as the second lusus' powers flowed into Jack. Dave only had a split second to make out the cat mouths forming over Jack's mouth before claws cut past his face lightning-fast, then his chest, then his leg. The lusus he had linked to was fast, too fast, and the four warriors of time split off into pairs.

"Nepeta would be proud," the current Aradia said, cradling her split left arm. Dave could see exposed wires in the wound, along with the claw scratches and even true cuts on her breastplate and face. He wished she could have had enough time to duct tape the arm gash, as was her usual course of first aid, but Bec Noir would only wait so long.

"How do you wanna do this?" he asked her. His eyes shifted towards their future selves, who were watching him in turn and waiting for action. _Okay then, it's on us._

Aradia nodded. "...Cover me."

She jetting off to one side, and engaged Jack again, her damaged arm loose and exposed. Dave followed, and waited. Was that the whole plan? "Cover me"? Before that day he might have paused, shouted questions or at least quipped in response to Aradia's orders, but something was different. He was not ready to admit it to himself, and certainly not to her, but he was finding it easier to trust Aradia implicitly. Talking to her earlier that night, to admit about Terezi and be open, had started a change. It was like the way he had learned to trust Jade, John and Rose, when he had finally admitted that he sort of liked drawing his terrible comics, and they had... eh... mostly understood. So if she said "Cover me," well, he didn't understand, but maybe he'd put himself out there and give it a shot. _What's the worst that could happen?_

Aradia and Jack clashed once, fist locking with spectral paw and a headbutt caught with feline reflexes, and she broke away. They clashed again: she took a hit to her leg, and broke away. They clashed a third time: a punch got through to Jack's chest, another caught by the wrist, and then—

Dave's caught Jack's sword in mid-air just as the demon emerged from timeslip. Aradia broke away as Jack pressed the offensive, pushing Dave's blade away with all his absurd strength. His spectral claws on feet and hand cut light, irritating gashes across Dave's body, tearing the skin in a dozen places, but the sword would be the real killing blow and so Dave knew he had to focus. Jack's eyes met Dave's across their swords and his muzzles, spectral and otherwise, curved up in a disturbing, out of sync smile.

"MoRNINg strIder," Jack said. The very sound of his voice scratched in Dave's ear – static, flux and green – and lingered there. Another of Jack's intentional irritations. True, Dave knew he was bleeding, badly. True, he could not focus. But the sword was death. He could focus on that, or break away. He held.

Aradia seized Jack's third temporal line, unseen by both, and Jack and Dave disengaged simultaneously. The third soul, or at least the connection to it that floated just above Jack and Aradia's head, thrashed left and right violently at the hope of freedom. Jack attacked her, in his fury, but Dave did not even have to glance at Aradia to follow her plan. His one hand already on his timetables, Dave severed the second line and Jack's feline powers dissipated at once. As Aradia flew past Jack's blade, the final line still in hand, Jack drew his power through time from the final soul, perhaps not even yet aware that he had lost the second.

As the third and final form scratched into existence about the demon, Jack took on a look of unrealistic juxtaposition. Something about his new shimmering form, and Jack's trying to compress the creature at the other end of the line to a humanoid size, made him look like he no longer belonged to that reality. He was no longer casting the right shadows and he took on the strange appearance of _mass_ , surreal in how it was just as clear that he gained no size. About his muzzle formed an ethereal beak; from his arms and his stumps came tentacles, dripping.

Turning to face Aradia, who now held the line in both hands, he barked out a hideous sound, a "GLUB" that Dave felt more than heard. The sound swam out in all directions to the edge of the universe, just short of the lab, and echoed back a second time, just as strong.

And nothing at all happened.

A smile played up on Aradia's robotic lips, a glimmer in her robotic eyes just below a cat-scratched gap on her face. To Dave, she explained the attack Jack had stolen from the third lusus: "...Kills Trolls."

Dave could not help but laugh as she snapped the line and Jack's final time-stolen power swept away. The demon returned, visually, to reality – at least until his next fishing trip. Aradia shoved him away, and their future selves did their work. Before Jack could turn on them, future Dave and future Aradia cut into him, through him, back and forth with ruthless speed, and their current selves took their own share. Jack's powers flashed, the lights warped bright and dim and in and out in all directions, and he fled. The last attack of each fighter cut space instead of Guardian flesh. He would be back, in an hour or three, but for now, they had won. Another day at the office.

Except... "Oh!" Current Dave said, a surreal rising feeling welling up in his chest. "Levelling." Current Aradia nodded her confirmation, but her arm was back in her hand. It would seem whatever rush had carried her through the fight had since expired.

"Morning!" called future Dave, hovering close as they all began to catch their breaths.

"y0u sh0uld get that l00ked at" future Aradia said to her past self, who had begun picking at her wound.

"Is it that bad?" current Dave asked. "What's the matter?"

"One of my..." Aradia's vocalizer was making pained sounds. "My touch sensors is on my heating line." The one that made her feel warm instead of like cold metal, Dave supposed. "Feels like my arm's on fire."

Future Dave nodded, and all four of them took out their time travel devices. "See you in two days," Dave said to his future self

His future self laughed and then replied: "Don't do anything I wouldn't have."

Their future selves slipped away and, with a few unspoken signals to Aradia, they followed. They headed forward, close enough to morning to wake Equius, but not so far away that they would miss their next watch. After all, the demon would be back. They would have to be waiting.

* * *

The horn pile was a _terrible_ bed. And sharing it with Gamzee and Terezi, splayed out in three directions like wheel spokes, only made it worse. Rose did not actually get any sleep that night, but at the same time, did not really mind. She had only lain down about an hour to their usual dawn and she was pumped full of the adrenaline that arrived at that stage of an all-nighter. Rose would never sleep now, not catch in the embrace of Jade and Kanaya's false Derse and Prospit. She could only lie there, wide awake, to count ceiling tiles and smirking every time some new inside joke came to mind. She would not have relived the previous day for anything, but the evening and night had bought her some refuge.

As she lay awake she had trouble remembering if some of the more critical moments from the day before had really happened. Had she really agreed to auspistice for Vriska if she _played nice_? Had she really ran out of Kan's room without a single word of comfort? Had the look on Eridan's face when she had tried to keep him calm been passive, or wanting? No, no, that one was being silly.

But it was hard to be serious when her senses were so shot by the all nighter that she was having trouble coping with the present. Rose got to her feet, with only three horn blats, which she figured was the best she could hope for. She checked the others to make sure she had not woken them, and could not help but smile. She was not sure how they were doing it, but they looked so comfortable, and almost kind of sweet.

Sleeping Terezi did not exactly look peaceful, but definitely more than she ever did awake. She still had Gamzee's white face paint under her eyes, like a football player stuck on the wrong shade, and clutched her dragon cane in one hand and the dented cane they had retrieved in the middle of the night in the other, crossed like a pharaoh. Rose turned to Gamzee on the opposite side. She found his own face paint smudged from the numerous times he had tried to rub his face in the night, and a smirk on his face from whatever he was dreaming. They were both slathered in sopor and looked ridiculous, but with Gamzee it at least seemed appropriate. He was cute, sleeping. Actually, maybe he was just cute period, beyond the mask. Rose had never given it any thought, and with her mind drawn so thin at the late hour, she was not ready to give it any thought now, either. Woozy and directionless, Rose wandered out of the lab and into the hall

"No offence, but can't you just turn it off?"

"I turned the whole arm off while we were fighting. I can do it again if you'd – ribbit – like, but that's about it."

"Stupid, this is nothing but stupid."

Rose did not have to walk very far before she stumbled onto Dave and Aradia. The hall from the lab led to the nearest exit if you knew the twists and turns, and her friends had barely reached the first t-junction before dropping down to the floor. Aradia was propped up against the wall with Dave kneeling over her as he rooted around and – Rose swallowed a pained gulp – _inside_ of her left arm. The arm that Rose, unfortunately, had just the right the angle to see. Rose tucked behind the nearest corner.

"Just find the sensor before it melts to the line, or worse," Aradia said.

Dave nodded and worked the gap in her arm wider with an alchemized pocket knife. Rose had to try not to gag: surgery had never really been her idea of a good time, robot or no. "I don't even understand why you're feeling any pain," Dave muttered. "I mean, is he that much of a sadist, that he wants his robots to feel pain?"

"This is my soul's fault more than anything," Aradia replied, cutting off with a gasp of pain as Dave reached inside and began to move wires. "The soulbot is just reporting 'damage.' It's my soul that says 'damage' means 'pa—' Ah! Ah!"

Dave pulled his hand out at once. "What? What?"

"You're touching my nerve! It hurts!" Aradia snapped. Dave waited, wary and unsure of how to proceed. "...Okay," she said, simulated breathing slowed. "It's okay. You've got to move it to get it off. I get that. I can take it, I'm a Troll."

"I'm not saying you can't _take_ it," Dave said, raising his knife again. "But you're sure you don't want to turn it off just because?"

"Yes. You don't understand, it's... just what we do, okay?"

"...Yeah."

Rose fell back a half-step, arms cradling her weight against the corner she used as cover. She considered going out to help them, but they spoke entirely in whispers, clearly edging for secrecy at least in the last few hours of the night. Besides, Rose would be of no use at all. Even if the whole affair had not turned her stomach, Rose could not imagine that being the Seer of Light would be much help the field of electro-medical repair.

"Okay, I think I see where it is," Dave said, his multi-prototyped knife shining a penlight. "You ready?" Aradia nodded her assent and Dave reached in again. She screamed, only a moment before she cut off her own vocalizer. Silent, her pain still showed clear as day on her face and gestures. Her good arm grasped the one he used for balance, squeezing hard. Though her angle was bad, Rose thought she saw Dave tip his head towards hers in response... though perhaps he was just getting a better angle on the wound.

"...There!" Dave said, his oil-tipped hand pulled free of the gash. "Okay?"

A pause and then her vocalizer cracked. "...Okay," Aradia confirmed, the sound of her simulated breathing back on the air. She dropped her head into his shoulder and her grip slipped loose and off his arm, down towards his hand.

"How's the sensor? Can you feel here?" Dave asked, trying to appraise his work.

"No," Aradia replied, whispering straight into Dave and barely heard by Rose. "It not supposed to read so near any wound, that's fine."

"Okay. Here?" Dave said, reaching up to her shoulder. Aradia must have nodded, because Dave shuffled back, unwittingly giving Rose a better angle and ear on the proceedings, and reached down her arm. "Here?" A pause, and another nod. Finally, Dave brushed the tops of her metal fingers. "And here?"

Almost imperceptibly for Rose, Aradia's finger reached up and wrapped around Dave's thumb, as she whispered: "...Don't tease."

A moment's hesitation, mutual, and they met in a kiss. Aradia reached up with her good hand guided him down into a more comfortable angle, but beyond that the kiss served and ended on equal terms, partners here as well as about. They even met a second time on an unspoken want with a second, shorter kiss before pulling apart as one. Rose hid entirely as they parted, and could not stop smiling. It had been like this a little with Tavros and Eridan. But now that it was her friend, who she loved. Worse, her restraint had been drawn thin by an uninterrupted twenty-four hours of consciousness and so felt fit to burst. True, there was that jealous wriggle, but she could not hear it at the moment, and would not have listened if she could.

When Dave walked past her, alone, she just had to take it out on him. "Hey coolkid."

Dave turned, smooth with his hands in his pockets, and raised an eyebrow. "What the hell happened to you?"

Rose reached up to her face and touched the bags under her eyes. "I just had the _worst day_. But I don't want to talk about it! Do you know what I _do_ want to talk about?"

She grinned, idiotically in hopes of driving it in harder, and Dave let out a tiny muffled groan before restoring his cool. "You know, it's not nice to spy."

"You know," Rose said, stepping in beside him as he started to walk away. "I actually sort of figured you two might hit moirails, what with all the saving each other's lives all the time thing."

"Oh no," Dave said in monotone. "You know about what we are doing with the demon. Shock and horror, our cover has failed. Also," he said in a normal tone. "Is that one of those Troll relationships? That thing you just said. I can't keep track. I try, but anything Karkat says just rolls off like I'm covered with some super-deluxe jingoist wax job that makes alien shit roll straight off me. You had better not be in the middle of one of those, Ro... oh god, you are, aren't you?" He pushed on her shoulder and she laughed. "I leave you alone for a few hours a day and next thing I know you're in some sort of stabship with Nepeta or something."

"Oh, you're a delight." Rose kept pace with him as he turned away from the lab and towards Aradia's section of the lab. "Did she go off to wake Equius?"

"Eh? Yeah. I didn't want anything to do with that shit." Dave did not look over for his reply, and he and Rose took a set of stairs together in silence. At the top of the stairs they carried on into Aradia's zone proper, and Rose caught Dave errantly brushing a hand across his lips.

Rose, her tongue licking at the corner of her own lips in her early-morning deliria, could not help but jump in. "Can't stop thinking about it, can you? Next thing we know you'll be picking out doilies together."

"Rose..."

"Big frilly doilies! John and I will come over to help you through these hard, doily selecting times, but then we'll find out it was your idea! I know these things, Strider. I'm a Seer."

"No, no. Shut up, you. You have no idea." He was still touching his lips. "You don't get it. She's a robot, but that... that was a really good kiss."

"Oh, I'm so sorry."

Dave's fingers stalled on his lower lip for a moment before he dropped it into a fist. "Hey, that's not what I meant. I mean, more power to her, but think about it! Think for one of your freudian seconds, why don't you. Assume she's a good kisser, fine, and think about it _why_ what would be _physically possible_ on a robot! Fuck, Equius is creepy."

"Aw, don't worry," Rose said, slapping him about the elbow. "He's covered. She hates him more than you hate him."

"Don't remind me." Dave made a fist. "And then she makes out with him too! I just don't get it yet, Rose. What am I getting in to?"

"Don't worry, Dave," Rose said. "I mean, this is all going to turn out in the end! It's good for you, good for her. If she's got kiss features, I'm certain that it probably goes—"

"Hey, hey," Dave cut her off with a finger jab to her temple. "For serious. You don't get to make robot jokes until I know you don't mean them."

Rose understood. She had shared the same worry when she first told her friends about her and Kanaya's plans to vaguely form some sort of maybe relationship when the opportunity presented, even though opportunity had not presented a thing even to this day. She had hoped they would understand, and they had, but she found it just felt better when they told her out loud. "Dave, you know that I..."

But evil thoughts were allowed their turn, and some things had to be said for the sake of humour. "..I've always know you were going to date something dead or artificial at some point. That she actually has a personality is just a plus! I mean, I always knew, deep in my heart, that one day you might be using some other creepy guy's sex toy."

And he got it, and he laughed. Rose tipped to the side and fell into him, wrapping both arms around him as they walked.

"Now you see," Dave said as they came up on their rooms. "This, I miss. You ragging me, me ragging Egbert—"

"You shamelessly flirting with Jade?"

Dave tucked an arm around her in turn. "...Hate you."

"Hate you too, Strider. Let's be kismeses and the Trolls will stop looking at us funny."

"Oh hell no," Dave said, pulling apart so that he could type in his password for his door. "I'm not getting into any of that blackrom shit, and don't let me catch you doing it either. That's just too much trouble and you know it."

Rose felt the sudden need to cough. "Uh, well... funny story..."

The door rattled open, but Dave ignored it, instead lowering his shades with a look of disbelief in his eyes. "Oh, fantastic. Who?"

Rose grinned sheepishly. "Eridan and... and Vriska. Maybe." But Dave did not hear the "maybe" as he had begun to make a throaty, gurgling sound at the mention of Vriska..

"Forget it!" he said, hand raised for her to stop. "I don't care! I'm taking a shower." He slipped into his room.

"Well I can shout all the sordid the details through the door if you want!" she called.

"Piss off, Rose!"

Rose smiled smug at his door, and was all smiles all the way five steps down the hall, until she saw her doorway. It was exactly as she had left it the morning before: a heavy stone artefact blocking the open doorway (discarded frog head), sparks now spitting out of the door mechanism and the letters "ERR" flashing over and over again on her keypad. "Damn it, Equius," she said. "I knew I forgot something."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long - I was away the past week! The bulk of this chapter was dreamed up on the spot as something to put out before my week away, before I started to write the first kk_email instead. Pretty much everything before the cut in the middle is fresh and new, with everything I had planned for A03 Chapter 10 now being in A03 Chapter 11.


	12. Chapter 12

Rose sat in a familiar spot as she waited for dawn to bring her friends in for the morning. She was sitting just beside Kanaya's computer, legs dangling off the edge of the table not far from the empty horn pile. The cold metal below almost welcoming. There was a dent there now; Karkat had lectured her about it, but Rose did not mind it. It was her seat, and unless it looked like it was going to get worse, she was not going to let them fix what was just going to break again.

She wore her old clothes, the aesthetically mutilated Squiddles t-shirt and her skirt, covered in just a little dirt and grime from the access tunnels that she had tried to clean with spit and elbow grease. She had her headbandtop on as well, and she looked out from Offline to see if anyone was logging on in their rooms and strained for some activity or other to eat away the time. When she had surrendered her laptop to Jaspsersprite, she had never really imagined she would one day be locked up with nothing to do with so many empty hours and no computer screen larger than a cell phone. Sollux had yet to set them up with their own desktop computers and the others were locked. Rose did not really mind, at least not that morning, with all her pent-up energy. There was nothing more refreshing than a shower when you really needed one, and the one she had just had had woken her up and raised her spirits even higher than they had been with Dave. There was no way, with all this energy, she could hide in her room with an e-reader, playing catch-up on _The Brothers Kamarazov_. It had been her plan to read a page or two while she waited for someone to talk to, but anticipation got the better of her every time she reached for the application. She knew why she was really here, and all the rest was waiting.

Karkat got in first, ahead of when Rose expected any of the others. He tossed her a look and grunted, heading off to vault the couch at a run and landed with an unfortunate _bang_ on the other side. Rose laughed, but did nothing to help him. She was happy but not stupid, and knew better than to threaten her mood by talking to Karkat. "Uh..." he said, standing up and testing his weight before deciding the couch had survived his landing. Rose heard the sound of a laugh from the transportalizer, and realized that Karkat had not exactly come in alone. He looked back towards the pad with a demanding glare.

"...Hi Rose."

Breath caught in Rose's throat as the raw feel of the table's edge caught in her grip; her head went straight from clear as still water to a wretched tangled bundle of nerves. Kanaya, just as early as Rose could have hoped, and who she was not at all prepared to meet. Rose had thought she had planned this through so carefully. Sit, wait, smile and let everything fall back into its old place for just another day. To settle back to normal, like with Terezi and Gamzee, would have been a relief in itself, and besides! There was no way forward, not in the direction they had started. Surely it would be better to take a step back.

But she stood up. "Good morning," she said, reaching up to captchalogue her headbandtop. Kanaya was a mess. Still in last night's clothes – usual for the other Trolls but never for her – and looking more exhausted than Rose, Gamzee or Terezi had even approached. Karkat was no better, but Rose was not paying attention to Karkat, who filed through his things with only sideways glances in their direction.

Kanaya crossed her arms low, over her stomach, and began to chew errantly on her lower lip. Her eyes looked distant and sad, more with sleep than actual emotion, but it was so hard to tell. Rose took another step forward, sidestepping the horn pile.

"...I'm so sorry about yesterday," Kanaya said.

"Oh god, so am I," said Rose.

Kanaya stepped forward, over a horn and hugged Rose, her head nestling gently into the curve of her neck. Rose reached up to return the hug but remembered Kanaya's condition immediately when she saw a patch of jade-inflamed skin peaking out fresh from under her collar. Rose reached up and, a weak laugh escaping from her lips, settled her hands on Kanaya's arms. She laughed as well, squeezing Rose a little closer for the both of them.

"And I'm sorry I ruined your plans," Kanaya muttered.

"That's all right," Rose said. It took her a while, mind soaking in relief, to remember what Kanaya was even talking about. After all, she had not really had any plans beyond figuring out what was the matter, no matter how Kanaya had perceived it. "...I'm sorry you didn't find your dress."

"Actually, I did," Kanaya said, and she pulled away to point to the couch. "It was indeed Karkat's secret room. He told me to get them all out of his sight by tomorrow."

Rose, her fingers gently stroking the arm still in her grasp, and could not meet Kanaya's smile when she turned back. "Kan, I've got to tell you something. After I left I... ran into Vriska." Kanaya's reaction was predictable: an immediate and overt check for physical wounds. "No, no, not that. She and I got to talking. She didn't actually know you had broken up with her as her moirail."

"What, really?" It was not just Kanaya who replied, but also Karkat. Kanaya's expression was sympathy mixed with trepidation; Karkat had said it more in an angry bark. "I'll have to talk with her," Kanaya added.

"Maybe," Rose said. "I don't know, she seemed upset at first and then just kind of annoyed. I... Kan, I've got to tell you, I told her... that if she can prove she's actually willing to listen, that I'd auspistice for her and Eridan. I know that..." Rose had tried to keep talking before the news had sank in, but she could see in Kanaya's eyes that she was too late. "I was just so angry! I swear, if no one else was going to do anything about her, why not me? I told her to do some stuff and it's going to take her some time, but it wasn't just that I can't trust her." Rose was not sure how true this had really been at the time, but she knew it was true for her now, certainly that counted for something. "I also wanted to buy some time to sort things out with you. Because you're... what..." Rose was really starting to miss her old plan. "Kanaya, I am so sorry I ran away when things were getting just a little intense."

"No, no," Kanaya said, dark eyes looking away and towards the corner. "It's me. I-I know," she said, putting up a hand a touch in front of Rose's mouth to stop her from speaking up. Her fingers brushed Rose's lips as she lowered them again. "I'm not saying that there was nothing going through your head, or that I wouldn't have... _jumped_ at anything you had to say." Rose chuckled to save from worse, and Kanaya gave a worried smile back. "But I've made a number of mistakes in my past relationships. I mean, I didn't even tell you I was hoping we would be in a relationship when we were online. I didn't tell Vriska how I felt about her. I should have just... This is something I've got to do at least once, don't you think?"

"Yes," Rose said, not really sure what Kanaya was trying to say. "I guess that makes sense. Does this mean you want me to wait on you?"

"No," said Karkat from the corner of the room. Rose looked up to see him flicking angrily through pages of a _Garfield_ collection Jade had left out.

"Not... exactly," Kanaya said. "It's just... Rose, I've got to ask." Rose's ears might have been tricking her, but she thought she heard something odd out of the corner of the room. "If Trolls had..." Yes, definitely a strange sound, she was not mistaking it, because Kanaya kept brushing her hair as an excuse to look to the side. "If Trolls had... friends, do you think we would have just become friends or..."

Kanaya was now definitely looking to the side now, and Rose followed her gaze to Karkat, who had covered up his mouth with both hands and was chanting "No, no, no, no, no, no, no..." over and over as Kanaya went on. Kanaya returned Rose's confused look with a nervous smile.

"This isn't exactly part of our plan."

"N— THE FUCK IT'S NOT!"

"You two..." Rose watched as Karkat disappeared behind the couch back in a huff. "Have some sort of plan?"

Kanaya reached out and took her left hand. "Rose... please. You've been doing everything you can around here the last few days, and if you're willing to work with Vriska, I'm willing to... uh... to..." Kanaya looked deflated, and if Rose had not kept her hand in hers, she might have broken away entirely.

Rose started to shake at their grip. After all, how on earth was she going to stand firm when Kanaya wasn't going to bother? To reassure herself and Kanaya, she slipped her hand out of Kanaya's only long enough to reach up her arm and hold her again from there. "Kanaya, stop. Listen. That you said that means a _great_ deal to me. I know you don't really put much stock in this whole 'lifetime friends' system. But look at you. You're wreck. This isn't what you want."

"No, I'm..." But she was, and Rose was starting to catch up to her. "Rose, this is important. Your Opinions Are Important To Me"

"Hey!" Karkat snapped. He got up on his knees on the couch and pointed at Kanaya. "You're. Doing. It. _Again._ "

"Karkat, this is hard for me!" Kanaya snapped back. "Im Trying To Be Fair To Both Of Us"

Rose was just about to step in, but Karkat walled her out. "What, you think you're doing her a favour running around all chicken-shit? ARGH! It's like I'm talking to Tavros here! Except _he_ knows what he wants these days. Fuck, Kan, what are you afraid of?"

Kanaya's lips set firm, Karkat's words boring into her. It was an angry reaction, Rose could feel it where they touched, but not at Karkat. "This isn't easy, Karkat."

"What're you afraid of, Patchy?" he repeated, and clasped his own arm in his opposite hand. "Don't you trust her?"

Both girls turned to look at Rose's hand, cupped gently on Kanaya's arm, safely outside of the band of moulting skin. Meeting Kanaya's eyes as they both looked up as one, it started to occur to Rose just how much Kanaya was listening to Karkat. She trusted him, explicitly, soldier to leader or maybe even more, and Rose was jealous to see it. She had to work hard to swallow her Human pride, but she was not deaf to what Karkat was saying. If she wanted Kanaya to trust her too, she would have to come full circle, and trust him just as much. She lifted her hand from Kanaya's shoulder and shuffled back a half-step. "...This one's yours."

And then the worst possible thing happened. There was a flash at the transportalizer. Then another, and a third. They were arguing, and oblivious to what they had interrupted. Kanaya began to shrink away.

"Holy crap, Eridan, you are the Troll Yoko Ono of timeless literature. Piss the hell off!"

"hey i think ive got more right to be wwith my matesprit than you do you crazy bitch"

"Uh, Eridan, I wanna spend time with Vriska too, you know."

"There, see? Seeeeeeee?" Vriska grabbed Travros by the shoulders and pushed him toward their computers. "Now if you'll excuse us, we have a chapter to write."

Eridan stamped his foot. "And I don't see why I don't get to read any of it!"

"That's because you're a little douche, Eridan!" Vriska reached over and cupped his head in her hands, smooshing up his face to open and close his mouth. "Aren't you?" Her voice climbed to the next octave. "Aren't you a little douche?" Tavros looked his usual helplessness.

Rose reached vaguely in Kanaya's direction, unable to tear her eyes away. "Uh... look, Kan, maybe we should finish this later when there aren't so many people."

"vviper" Eridan said, and he spat in Vriska's face. Vriska snarled and threw herself at Eridan, teeth snapping shut just short of his nose.

"...No," she said. "No, you _wish_ I'd bite you, you little..."

"Yeah!" Eridan said. "Yeah I do!" Vriska stopped dead in shock before breaking down laughing. It took Eridan a pause of his own to work out exactly what had happened. "...Dammit." He said, and began to mutter incoherently. "Dammit, Roz!" he called. "Don't you see what I was saying about this bitch?" Clearly Vriska had not shared the news with him.

And then Jade appeared, and Dave and John, chatting amicably. Next came Sollux and Feferi, reuniting on the lab side of the transportizer. Feferi wrapped his arm back around her shoulders and they talked with grins on their faces, grins that Rose could not mistake and set Eridan's blood to boiling. Jade and John waved over to Rose and, with a frown she tried to hide, Rose started toward her friends.

She did not get two steps. Kanaya reached out with one hand, then the other and brushed them up from Rose's shoulders to her neck in one slow, smooth motion, stopping Rose dead. One hand moved up to Rose's jaw and Kanaya stepped forward, guiding more than pulling Rose toward her to set a lingering kiss on her cheek, just aside her lips. Rose could hear Kanaya's wavering, faulting breath on her cheek in the pause that followed, as though it was all she could hear. But any worry that might have been heard on Kanaya's breath was unfounded, for Rose's delay was only surprise followed by the time it took to find her hand a cautious purchase on Kanaya's side, to pull her closer and press one kiss on her cheek in reply and then another, because she could.

The world had returned to normal around them when they decided to listen again. Rose heard Karkat fall back to the couch with a contented slam, now reassured as to its durability. Jade was twitching with excitement, looking like she might burst at any moment, and Dave was looking coolly and politely away with John only managing the later. Just over Kanaya's head, Rose could make out Eridan and the others. Eridan had shoved his face in front of his computer, trying to occupy himself in the only direction that did not face Rose or Feferi. Tavros slipped Rose a thumbs up, but it was Vriska's expression was the one that really caught Rose's eye. It was jealous and hating, but it was also sad and observant. Once upon a time, it might have been her job to screen Rose before things got this far. Once upon a time, this might have been her. Rose wondered if she knew that. Rose did not know what to do about Vriska any more than she could remember how to think. Kanaya leaned forward, toward Rose's ear.

"Be my girlfriend?" she asked, and Rose tried to stifle her laughter long enough to reply, Vriska forgotten.

"Yes." And once she had calmed, she returned: "Be my matesprit?" And Kanaya nodded. Elated. Ecstatic.

John suddenly ran up to their side. "Guys, guys!" His face had a smile, the smile that generally forecasted the horrendous crash of an perfectly reasonable joke in the hands of a bad pilot, but his whispered tone was as dire as required: " _Nepeta_ is coming!"

One eye roll from Rose later, and the rest of the room was quick to get back to its business. Tavros had talked Vriska back into taking turns to recite and record a grandiose monologue being given by King and Prince Consort of their fictional land. Sollux was saying something to Feferi about "language conventions" while he pointed to her computer screen and she listened with a nervous nod. Nepeta emerged into the room none-the-wiser, finding Rose and Kanaya in their usual spots, Kanaya at her chair and Rose atop the desk, talking. If she had bothered to take a second glance, she just might have realized they were not doing any work at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter, like the last, was _also_ a last-minute addition. If you want to know how Rose and Kanaya hooking up could possibly be a last-minute addition, you’re going to have to wait a while, because otherwise we’d be in spoiler city. Suffice to say, a good friend helped me make the call.


	13. Chapter 13

>   
> GA: So In Essence It Is The Marriage Not The Dating Phase That Is The Actual Breeding Relationship  
> TT: I imagine the original intent may have been along those lines.  
>  TT: It's hard to tell when this has never exactly been my area of study, and may now be irrelevant.   
> GA: You Dont Figure You Or Any Of Your Fellows Will Attempt To Form A Marriage  
> TT: They might, I might. I can't be sure. It's a deeply ingrained institution, and I'm sure all of us have imagined being married at some point in our lives, even if we don't retain it into adulthood.  
>  TT: I was more referring to its relation to child bearing and rearing.  
>  TT: Seeing as how none of us, Human or Troll, understand what might be waiting for us even in the most ideal of circumstances, it might be more practical to plan assuming that we may be relying on one another to survive.  
>  TT: The four of us will likely have to be co-parents, with me as involved in Jade's child's life as she in mine.  
>  TT: Children, perhaps.  
>  TT: ...John's children.   
> GA: Oh  
>  GA: You Have Mating Fondness For The John Human  
> TT: No, it's not that.  
>  TT: It's a genetic concern, I can't really see any other way around it.  
>  TT: Genetic similarity in the parents is a risk for human children. Dave and I are too similar, biologically siblings. Better to stave it off for as many generations as possible by matching me with John and Jade with Dave and down the line.  
>  TT: I do not believe any of us would for one moment stand in the way of each other's happiness.  
>  TT: But when the time comes to breed, there's a simple practicality here that can't be denied.   
> GA: I See  
>  GA: If You Have Reservations Regarding Breeding With The John Human  
>  GA: Perhaps You Should Consider Mating With The Jade Human Instead  
> TT: Urm  
>  TT: Human breeding  
>  TT: ...I'm afraid human breeding does quite work that way.   
> GA: Are You Too Genetically Distinct  
> TT: No, it's because we're both female.   
> GA: Oh  
>  GA: Is That Frowned Upon  
> TT: Kanaya please stop accidentally hitting social issues lost in the apocalypse straight on the head  
>  TT: You're making it very frustrating for me to converse with you.   
> GA: What Did I Say  
> TT: Human breeding requires male and female genetic material to create a single infant.  
>  TT: Though now that you've pointed it out, I suppose ectobiology may provide an answer. I hadn't thought of it.  
>  TT: I'm not saying we'd have been forced to stay in those pairings our whole lives but genetically...  
> GA: I Can See That This Bothers You  
>  GA: But I Must Press On To Know Why  
> TT: I'm not sure how to equate it to you.  
>  TT: There's a certain intimacy in human breeding for which I'm not sure I can find an Alternian equivalent to help you understand.  
>  TT: ...Tell me. Would I be right in assuming that moirails and auspistices play some role in the actual act of filling your conversationally taboo buckets?   
> GA: It Is Certainly An Option  
>  GA: Not With Genetic Material Of Course But In The End These Are Their Relationships Too  
> TT: That's what I was worried about. If the opposite was the case, I could have compared the experience to them being present at the time.   
> GA: Hmm...  
> TT: Would it be crude of me to ask bluntly if your species has a form of physical stimulation?  
>  TT: Perhaps commonly shared between matesprits and/or kismeses?   
> GA: You Mean Sex  
> TT: Naturally, after I have spent all my time dancing worriedly about, I find that you use the same word as us.   
> GA: Do We Not Use The Same Words For Other Purposes  
>  GA: After All We Largely Manage To Communicate Day To Day  
> TT: Are you familiar with the word "lung"?   
> GA: No  
> TT: Exactly.   
> GA: One Assumes Based On Your Line Of Questioning That Your Species And Mine Both Apply A Certain Intimate Restriction To This Act  
>  GA: But That In Your Species Case It Is Used For Reproductive Purposes As Well As It May Have Once For Ours  
> TT: Yes. Since you worked that out so quickly I'm sure you can follow me the rest of the way.  
>  TT: Now, if we cannot (re)create some form of artificial reproduction, complete or partial, with all the powers of alchemy, than I shall count myself surprised.  
>  TT: But I hope you can see how, given the social history of marriage and sexual monogamy, that if I grow and end up in a sexual relationship with, say, Strider  
>  TT: Or Jade,  
>  TT: Or You,  
>  TT: That having to even ecto-reproduce with John would strike as  
>  TT: ...For the both of us, don't think I'm placing any blame at his door...  
>  TT: very...  
> GA: Wrong  
> TT: Yes, succinct is best.  
>  TT: I'd like to think I'd grow into the kind of person that understands the necessity of what's going on.  
>  TT: At the moment I'm still expressing juvenile "I want"s about how I'd prefer this go.  
>  TT: In the end it still has to be John, or ecto with Jade. I just hope it loses any stigma for the four of us with maturity, so that we can raise however many we decide the new Humanity will need, nine months at a time.   
> GA: Your Species Only Gestates In Nine Months  
> TT: Was that a question or an expression of shock?  
>  TT: Because we have horrific biological realities here to bury any shock.   
> GA: No I Can Imagine From What You Have Already Implied  
>  GA: Internal Fertilization Live Birth And A Lack Of Metamorphoses Simply Struck Me As Requiring A More Complex Infant Body  
> GA: Yet You Outstrip Our Comparable Thirteen Months By Four  
> TT: Does this mean we're winning?   
> GA: Yes My Species Has Been Soundly Trounced By Your Terrifying Pregnancy System  
>  GA: You Will Start Lapping Us At Some Point I Imagine In The Fourth Generation  
> TT: Now you're just making numbers up.  
>  TT: But you did just remind me that we'll have to deal with Westermarck.   
> GA: Now Youre Just Making Up New Terms To Frustrate Me  
> TT: I think this one will do a better job of frustrating the four of us over here!  
>  TT: Westermarck's an effect that's shown that humans raised near one another see each other as family and thus, non-sexual.  
>  TT: It's the reason I can be attracted to Dave and, previously, his Bro but still have been biologically related. Really, biology doesn't even factor in, it's pure psychology.  
>  TT: If we don't raise our members separately, we'll complicate their adult lives, even if all reproduction for everyone from here on out is non-biological.  
>  TT: But we'll need to raise our members somewhat together or risk problems on other levels. It's an logisti/sexual disaster.   
> GA: But You Only Mention The Four Of You In This Cooperative Exercise  
> TT: Five, pardon.   
> GA: Thank You, But I Was Not Just Referring To Me  
>  GA: Pardon My Assumptions As This Seems Like It May Be Or Become A Sensitive Issue  
>  GA: But I Was Harbouring The Hope That When This Was Over Our Groups Would Continue Assisting One Another  
> TT: Do you think?   
> GA: Perhaps It Is Naïve Of Me To Suggest But Our Odds As A Society Strike Me As Stronger As Sixteen Compared To Four And Twelve Apart  
>  GA: Besides We Both Seem To Be Entertaining Some Fantasy Where We Are Both Able To Uphold A Relationship In This Future  
>  GA: Doesnt That At Least Imply Geographical Proximity Or Have I Misunderstood  
> TT: I suppose you make a good point.  
>  TT: I had assumed that, given our differences, living together with your fellows would not really be the best idea. I suppose I had been unconsciously assuming an arrangement of allied sister societies.  
>  TT: I'm sorry, I hadn't yet accounted for you. This is still a fresh idea from my perspective. I haven't turned much thought at all to the details but I'm sure we'll work something out.   
> GA: Id Be More Touched If There Had Been A Larger Gap Since We First Brought It Up  
> TT: You? You've had a lot more time to think about it than us, I'm sure.   
> GA: I Think Youll Find That Our Thoughts Are Not Exactly On The Future Here In The Lab  
>  GA: We Once Had Much Grander Plans But They Have Fallen Aside Seeing As How We All Expect To Die  
> 
> 
> \-------------------------
> 
> \-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] \--
> 
> GC: K4RK44444444T  
> CG: UGH, WHY DOES NO ONE EVER JUST WALK OVER HERE?  
>  CG: WHAT?   
> GC: HOW LONG W1LL W3 H4V3 ALON3 W1TH TH3 HUM4NS B4FOR3 TH3 D3MON G3TS H3R3  
> CG: I DON'T KNOW, AN HOUR. TWO, TOPS.   
> GC: 3XC3LL3NT >:D  
> CG: WAIT A MINUTE  
>  CG: WHY DID YOU SPECIFY "ALONE"?   
> GC: H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H  
>  GC: JUST PL4NN1NG MY  
>  GC: H3LLOS >;)  
> CG: OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE NO  
>  CG: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
> 
> \-------------------------
> 
> GA: And Then He Started Another Of His Memos  
> TT: And then John contacted me. Yes, I think I see how this played out across the temporal ping-pong table.  
>  TT: But what about you? Do you believe you're going to die?   
> GA: Frankly  
>  GA: Yes  
>  GA: But Im Not Going To Let Being Rational Stand Entirely In The Way Of Hope  
> TT: What do you think about it, then?  
>  TT: The future.  
>  TT: Start over, raise a new Alternia, or build the world in your own image.   
> GA: I Think Im More Concerned About The Dirty Work  
>  GA: Not The Physical Labour But The Minutiae  
>  GA: After All We Cant Really Create A New Empire Considering We Never Knew The Original First Hand  
>  GA: Except With Hate  
>  GA: We Hated The Old Empire Through And Through I Suppose We Would Not Want To Replicate It But What Else Do We Have To Serve As An Example  
> TT: What about children?   
> GA: Weve Taken Some Steps In That Direction  
> TT: That's not what I meant. I meant what do you think about it?  
>  TT: I realize this is going to be a major step for your society. Do you intend to raise them?  
>  TT: You've lost most of the structure on which your original society was based. No Lusii, no dangerous planet to call their own on which to survive to adulthood, probably a smaller crop of larvae, all of which you will have to admit for the first time descended directly from you and your fellows...  
> GA: Yes Yes I See What You Mean  
>  GA: Please Stop  
> TT: And raising your own children is something you haven't done in living memory.   
> GA: I Realize  
>  GA: That That Is Not Stopping At All  
>  GA: Do You See This Face This Is The Face Disgusted At Your Behaviour  
> TT: Oh yes, very clearly.   
> GA: It Would Appear That Its Your Turn To Broach Sensitive Issues Accidentally  
>  GA: Seeing As How I Know The Moment The Subject Is Breached We Trolls Will Be At One Anothers Throats  
>  GA: You See  
>  GA: The Loss Of Our Particular Upbringing Might Very Well Mean The End of Trolldom As We Know It  
> TT: Surely you exaggerate.   
> GA: Not At All  
>  GA: Imagine Instead If You Took Your Generation Of Humans Out Of Your Child Prisons And Put Them In The Wilds  
> TT: "Schools"   
> GA: You Have To Admit That They Would Not Come Out Remotely Like Their Biological Lusii  
>  GA: I Simply Believe The Reverse Is Also True  
> TT: So what will you do?   
> GA: We Will Likely Lock Horns And Set Twelve Completely Distinct Parenting Styles Against One Another  
>  GA: Before We Even Have To Face The Larvae  
>  GA: I Can Only Imagine We Will Become More Protective Of Our Memories Of Our Lusii Each Time One Of Our Number Tell Us To Abandon Their Techniques In Favour Of Another  
>  GA: It Would Be Like An Affront To Their Memory   
> TT: With all due respect, and to abuse a human cliché, "You're not your mother," any more than ArachnidsGrip is her terrible Lusus.  
>  TT: Well, not in the end.  
>  TT: What I mean to say is, there's no reason you can't compromise, reason or sacrifice for the good of your society.  
>  TT: And still remember your guardians in your own way.   
> GA: I Dont Think You Understand How Conflicting This Is Going To Be  
>  GA: In My Mind Navigating Through This Hurdle Will Be The Last True Challenge Before All Is Said And Done  
> TT: I see. And I'll try to understand, as best I can.   
> GA: I Appreciate  
> TT: And you honestly want John and Jade and Dave and I even peripherally complicating this Battle of the Nurtures with our human taint?  
>  TT: Forcibly inserting our opinions on the sidelines of every act and action.   
> GA: I Think It Will Make Things More Interesting  
> TT: Well if you put it that way, how could we refuse?  
>  TT: Since this subject has been broached, can I ask a question under the shelter of our original promise of neutrality?  
>  TT: For scientific reasons?   
> GA: That Was The Deal  
> TT: I'm curious as to your opinion if our species can cross-breed biologically.   
> GA: Ah  
>  GA: I Dont See Any Reason That That Would Be Possible  
> TT: I figured the same, but I really have no data to go on.  
>  TT: You've at least seen us.  
>  TT: It had to be asked, if not me than by someone else.   
> GA: I Understand It Could Have Just As Easily Been Me  
>  GA: Or Worse It Could Have Been Anyone But Us  
> TT: John to Vriska is the worst case scenario I was imagining.   
> GA: Tavros To Jade  
> TT: Who?   
> GA: Trust Me  
> TT: I'll try.  
>  TT: What do you think we'll do as societies if we can't live together?   
> GA: I Suppose Well Simply Live Apart  
>  GA: Long Distance Has Not Exactly Been Our Enemy Even If It Has Not Been Our Friend  
> TT: That's true. If worst comes to worst and we humans make more enemies than we do friends, raising separate societies would not be the worst possible outcome.  
>  TT: And there's something to be said for silence and privacy.   
> GA: I Agree  
> TT: But that doesn't mean I'm not looking forward to meeting in person.   
> GA: Yes  
>  GA: I Wish I Could Show You My Hive And Its Original Surrounds  
>  GA: It Was An Excellent Island For Privacy  
>  GA: Even If Everyone Was Banging On My Digital Door For Advice At All Hours Of The Night  
> TT: Auspisticing stories, mother dearest?   
> GA: Oh Yes I Have Books And Books Full  
> TT: Perhaps I will ask you about them. Uh...  
>  TT: Whose turn is it, really?   
> GA: Oh I Dont Know Any More  
>  GA: Go Ahead By All Means
> 
>   
> 

  


* * *

"I don't want to sound overly, _overly_ eager," Rose said, "but I think we've humoured John's joke long enough to get out of here if you'd like."

Kanaya glanced at Rose out of the corner of her eye. Though they had been talking almost constantly for the past ten minutes and her work on the computer had been intent, furious and had not yet abated. "Did you have something planned?"

"Not really," Rose said honestly, "I just was hoping to get a little… uh… time alone. Oh god, why does everything I want to say suddenly sound like innuendo?"

"You're the psychologist," Kanaya said with a demure smile that showed just a hint of fang.

"Yes, that's what's worrying."

Kanaya's left hand started to work the keyboard with a few frantic hotkeys. "Rose, while I appreciate you inviting me Outside, or whatever you had in mind, I'd appreciate if you could wait just a half hour. Today's my day on survey, for starters." Rose nodded. Karkat had drafted the lot of them into a routine check of the surviving worlds and asteroids in the session to see what resources they still had open to them. Since it worked on a cycle of sixteen days, Rose had only done a single shift. Sadly, if the shifts had been reduced to a half hour at Kanaya's current pace, Jack had not left much to work with. "Also, I have to get my clothing out of Karkat's and, uh… my room is still a mess."

"I can…" Rose said before thinking. "…You're not going to let me help, are you?"

Kanaya reached up to pat her on the knee. "You poor, adorable slob." She looked at Rose and smiled, which was nice before Rose realized she was doing it to distract her from her attempt to smooth out her skirt. Rose swatted her away and Kanaya seemed to reach back, but when Rose tried again Kanaya caught her hand in her own.

"…Half an hour, huh?" Rose said with a smile.

"I promise."

"All right, then," Rose said, and took to her feet, stopping only to lean over and kiss Kanaya's brow before stepping away. Jade watched her as she left. Nepeta had left their conversation moments prior, mid-sentence and crouched low to the ground as she went. At a doubled pace, Jade walked up to Rose with her fists clenched high and lower lip pinched down hard by her overbite.

"Where's she going?" Rose asked before Jade could say a thing.

"I… Nepeta?" Rose looked over her shoulder and confirmed that Nepeta was stalking up behind Eridan. "…She said she had to go scout out 'the Cave of Au-Furs.'"

"'Authors'?" Rose asked, seeing Nepeta stalking off in the general direction of Vriska and Tavros' co-authoring computer. "That one needs work."

Jade swatted at Rose with the overlong sleeve of the sweatshirt she was wearing that day. "Stop changing the subject!"

"Me?" Rose protested. "I'm not changing the subject! I introduced the subject," she explained as she sat down on the horn pile. "I'm just continuing it!"

Jade sat down too with a heavier drop, but the sound of the horns was muffled out by the mournful, dying cry of a Reader in his natural habitat. To wit: "Nep, what the fuck are you oh fuckin god what the hell get offa—" Jade scooted about to find her seating, and then again to get within whispering range.

"I mean you and Kanaya!" she said. "I mean, a few days ago she came to talk to Karkat and Nepeta, because they're so used to relationships I guess, and John and me were there. And she says she wants someone else's advice on what's up with you and her, you know, meaning she just wanted someone to _tell_ her." Rose nodded. "And so Karkat told her to go with the first thing that came into her head the next time she saw you, because ' IF YOU'RE TOO STUPID TO HAVE WORKED THIS OUT ALREADY—'" Rose was impressed, Jade's Karkat impression was good even at a whisper, "'—GOD KNOWS YOU MIGHT AS WELL GO FOR THE SHIT PLAN.' Then I told her to go with her heart, Nepeta said you would be cute matesprits, it went pretty much like you can imagine."

"So… what did she say in the end?" Rose did not exactly want to hedge her bets, but everything was so fresh that she could not help but be nervous. The mental picture of Kanaya picking a different quadrant in a less emotional moment had already crawled to the surface.

"She said…" Jade said, drumming her hands on her knees like she did when she would think, and Rose glared at her for the delay. "She said she would get you alone and wouldn't let you go until she had told you… whatever she had picked."

Rose heaved a sigh, though partially to cover for her relief. "Oh… that was my fault, then. I left, it was me." Jade reached out and patted her arm. "I ran away and went to talk to Gamzee and Terezi."

Jade's volume perked up a bit at that, partially from surprise but more because "you wouldnt hurt a pretty kitty cat its just not nice!" "who said im nice nep im not fuckin nice" "of course you are youre as harmless as the prettiest dragonfl—arg, Eridan, don't…!! ffft! fffffffffft!!!"

"Is that where you were?" Jade asked. "John and I were wondering. We only heard a bit from Kanaya before she and Karkat disappeared, and after a while I got… uh…" Jade wrung her hair ("tavros, help!" "no, tav, fuckin help _me_ " "hehe, okay, yeah, help him") "But it's okay now, right? I mean, you kissed!"

"You and Kani kissed?"

Suddenly Rose did not know what was going on. There was an avalanche of tin and rubber, horns pouring past her and Jade, and they were raised up, shrieking. She tried to get out of the way but found herself tightly secured, Jade as well, and all they could do was shout and hold on to one another for dear life.

"ThIs iS ThE BeSt fUcKiNg nEwS I'Ve hEaRd aLl…" and he yawned, "…dAy!"

When Rose opened her eyes, she and Jade were on Gamzee's lap. He sat chest-deep in the horn pile (though it continued to spill away from him) and held secure by their opposite shoulders.

"H-hi Gamzee," Rose said, her heart calming down with relief, a little after the rest of her. "No, we didn't kiss, but we're matesprits now!" Looking around, Rose saw that Vriska was shooting Nepeta a dirty look she didn't think Nepeta really understood, instead chasing Eridan's cloak as he tried to wriggle out of her grasp. Karkat was talking to Kanaya in a strict business manner about the scans, as though nothing untoward had happened either just to his right or at all, yesterday and beyond.

Gamzee smacked his lips and met her eyes when she turned back to him. "Sup, bra?" he asked. His makeup was in even more disorder than when Rose had left the day before, and a glob of eyeliner had stuck his right eye entirely shut. "…Oh yeah, you just said! That's fantastic, my man, fucking awesome." And he clapped her on the shoulder.

"Yeah, thanks, isn't it? Uh… were you asleep… _under_ the horn pile?"

"Hah, yeah, I guess, eh? Has a bit of a tide sometimes but I think this one we can put on the treetop doorstep of my most litigactious ex going for a morning prank."

Jade still looked a little shaken. "His… what?" she asked Rose as though Gamzee were not there.

Gamzee's reaction was from the same page, as despite the firm grasp he held to keep her from falling aside, he looked up at her in surprise and exclaimed "Hey juggalette! Did you hear the news?" And he gave Rose a light shake.

Jade did not change the subject. "You have an ex here, Gamzee?"

"oH." His face fell. "Yeah, Terezi broke it off with me last night, bummer y'know?"

"Terezi… what?" Jade reached up to clean out her ear. Even Karkat looked up at that one, though when he saw Rose watching him he made a face and waved it away.

But Gamzee was already back on the subject of Rose and Kanaya's new matespritship. "This is totally rockin', Rose," he said, and Rose noted happily that he was still using both her and Terezi's name even after a night's rest, which Terezi had figured was an impossibility. "If you two ever need a big old romantic meal you know where to knock, but don't let me shoot the fuckin' gun too early because you gotta take things at your own pace. Hey! Speaking of meals…"

He freed Rose, leaving her to keep her own balance on his leg, and began to rummage into the horn pile. After a while he pulled out a pool noodle, then a horn with its bulb entirely covered in ketchep, then last of all a hot dog, which he passed to her. Sure enough, it was one of her original order that had been left aside as nausea set in. Rose could not help but giggle as she looked at it, only partially thanks to Jade's expression.

"…Please," Jade said. "Please tell me it's a Bard power to pull food from nowhere."

"Hah!" Gamzee said, still rummaging about. "Maybe! …Fuck, I can't find the other dogs," he said, which was disconcerting because Rose knew there were at least a dozen. "But I got a granola bar if you want, juggalette."

"Are you really going to eat that?" Jade asked, taking the granola bar from Gamzee unconsciously as she looked at Rose's hot dog like it was going to explode with salmonella on contact with a tooth.

"Well, of course I'm going to warm it first," Rose said, savouring the reaction before captchaloguing her lunch. "Thanks a lot, Gamzee," she said with a parting pat on his leg. Until the pat, which lurched him awake, Gamzee had been smiling crookedly towards Jade just as he had been since he had handed her the granola bar, and Rose was not sure if he was staring or it had not occurred to him to start doing anything else. "I think Jade and I are going to go find a seat that'll let you get your face on, what do you say?"

"Sounds like a fucking plan to me, Rosie! You just drop on over if you wanna chat, my door is always… uh…" He looked around, astonished first of all by Eridan and Nepeta's ongoing scuffle, but then by the room that existed steps beyond his horn pile in general, to the point of mouthing "…fUuUuCk…" Jade and Rose had to excuse themselves.

"You two seemed… chummy," Jade said, and with a reassuring giggle seemed to return to normal.

"What?" Rose said with a laugh. She pointed to the granola bar to remind Jade, and she did get around to it eventually. Without a declared destination, they both gravitated as per normal toward the couch, though Rose did consider heading over to bother the boys, who were discussing their bets on the recently resolved Nepeta and Eridan match. John put a bet on Vriska not letting Eridan back to read over her and Tavros' shoulder, and Vriska acknowledged with a wink, grin and a kick of Eridan's already toppled chair into Equius' far corner. "Gamzee's really nice!" Rose continued as they settled down. "He's not exactly… erudite but he's really… really…" Rose was at a loss for adjectives, but in a way she could not express to Jade, that seemed somehow more appropriate than any of them. "…you'd like him!" she said instead.

"I do like him!" Jade insisted, "just not when he's appearing under me like some sort of horn-sea monster."

Rose laughed, but could not resist to add: "…He thinks _you're_ cute."

Jade did not seem to parse that at first. "…Nooooo," she said, disbelieving, and swatted Rose with her sleeve again.

"I'm serious!" Rose said. "It was either you or John, and if you've talked to him lately, it's definitely you."

Jade rolled her eyes, but after a pause smiled slightly and said "He is really nice though. When he focuses." Another pause, and then: "And he's fit." And then a giggle and clamped on Rose's shoulder the way Gamzee had. "Like _whoa_."

Rose laughed. "Acrobat, you know?" she said, and Jade nodded. "I believe the correct expression is 'rawr.'"

"Shh!" Jade scolded. "I'm not…"

Jade stopped and looked over Rose's shoulder, past the arm of the couch. Rose turned and immediately caught sight of motion in the corner of her eye. Bending slightly over the arm, she saw two felt eyes looking up at her, and two yellow eyes in the shadows below that.

"How's it going, Nepeta?" she asked.

"Yoooooou…" Nepeta said, peering up for a better angle as she stretched the word, and then all at once: "made a kitty sound."

"…Yes?"

Nepeta flopped up onto the couch's arm with her own, head in one hand. "Why?"

"I…" she looked over to Jade, who did not dare signal a response. When Rose looked back, she saw Nepeta's wide eyes turn slowly back from Jade, to her and then rapidly about, toward Eridan, whose attempts to recover his chair ended with it being kicked back out of his hand. "…I was teasing Jade about boys."

"ooooooh" said Nepeta, who began to try to climb onto all fours on the narrow couch arm.

"And I was just about to tell Rose…" Jade said, leaning over to help in case Nepeta toppled, though she did not. "…that I'm not interested in dating right now."

"Right," said Nepeta, teetering forward. "I'm not a'sposed'ta make suggestions."

"Well, that's fair," Rose said to Jade, but anything else she had planned to say was interrupted when Nepeta threw herself across both of their laps. Without explanation she stretched and rolled over, hands by her face and belly exposed. She only shifted to pull her sleeves down past her hands so that she could beg properly. Rose did not have to ask, and immediately reached down to rub Nepeta's belly with a roll of her eyes. Jade silently laughed at her and, pulling back her own sleeves, scratched her friend behind the ears.

Rose was not really sure what she had expected when she reached down to pat Nepeta, except the poor attempt to feign purring. After all, she was a pre-moult Troll girl, and Rose had touched Kanaya often enough (accidentally, playfully, or for taking measurements) to know what that should have felt like. But Nepeta was different. Her stomach was a firm knot of muscles not belied by her baby face; her limbs were stronger than one would assume from her tiny frame and her baggy clothes added as though in disguise. Though her behaviour was perfect kitten, Rose had no doubt that Nepeta could have held her there if she really wanted to, even if her advantage in levels had not been a factor. Inwardly, Rose gained a modicum of respect for Eridan, or at least for his gall.

"Mmm…" Nepeta said, stretched her arms above her shoulders and settling them around Jade's waist. "… _I_ like humans." She added sleepily.

Rose did not have time to ask why the emphasis. Behind her, she had previously caught the sound of the transportalizer, and after it sounded again the two parties immediately picked up their temporarily abandoned argument.

"I insist on knowing how you suffered these injuries. This should not be a matter of such secrecy when it could mean our lives."

"It doesn't mean our lives, Equius, though if you keep this up it might mean yours!"

Nepeta had perked up at the sound of Equius' voice and sat up straight in Rose's lap. Her moirail stood away from the transportalizer, arms crossed and an oil-sopped rag in his left hand.

"Are you…" And his characteristic sweating began. "…And it would be just like I would expect from a putrescent low-blooded—"

"Yeah, 'putrescent,' thank you, I forgot that I had died." Aradia, with her left arm marked with a set of weld marks and clean, new metal, closed the gap between them with as fierce a scowl her facial mechanics could muster. "What am I doing that's so 'low-blooded,' Equius?"

The sweating doubled. "Are you… cheating on me?"

"Cheating on you?" Aradia stalled, trying to come up with a response. Rose understood. She figured that if your kismesis asked you if you were cheating, it would be impolite to say anything but 'yes' but even more impolite to be telling the truth.

"W-with Strider," Equius stammered. Vriska's gasp at the theatrics called the others to attention, and he continued. "You said you were off with him when you suffered that injury, don't deny it!"

The other Trolls were glued now, Karkat and Kanaya's conversation interrupted by periodic glances in the direction of the fight, Gamzee with one sock on and the other off. Even John looked on as Dave tried to look interested in counting ceiling tiles.

"Well I guess you caught me, Equius," Aradia said, and even though he really should have expected that, Equius barred his teeth with a soft _crack_.

Nepeta frowned a determined, tiny frown and threw herself back to Jade and Rose's laps.

"…hate her," she mumbled. Jade and Rose instinctively started to scratch her back. Nepeta rubbed her head into Jade's stomach like a pillow in thanks, but peered up at Rose in surprise when she realized she had a hand in as well.

"Sweetie," Rose said, not intentionally going for the diminutive but unable to help it, given her behaviour. "They're not doing anything they don't want to do. These sort of fights probably mean a lot to them."

Rose really believed what she was saying: Aradia was making it very easy with the enthusiasm she used to describe her and Dave's lurid black affair: "Humans don't have much for pain tolerance, Equius, but I've probably got the best one. And thanks to you he can be just as r0ugh as he wants with with me" and "You'd be surprised what you can do with an hour, especially if you can do the hour over and _over and over again_." The reactions of the other Trolls were like they were watching a spectator sport, this public humiliation of a kismesis. Feferi, in addition to the look that normally on her face those days when she saw Aradia, seemed more in to it than all of them put together, hands clutched tight at her mouth. Nepeta made a sound that was probably supposed to be deep, throaty feline growl, but she screwed it up and it came out more like a broken cry.

"He doesn't hate her," she said. "He really likes her! So he does all sorts of nice stuff for her an'… an'… She doesn't have to love him back but she could at least say 'thank you!'" And then the sound again, as Aradia started to describe kissing with the 'human tongue' in terms a touch too complimentary. Nepeta pulled down her hat down over her ears. Rose looked up plaintively toward Jade, who gave as tiny a shrug as she could risk with Nepeta only just looking away.

"I don't understand him as well as she does, Rose." She reached down under Nepeta's fingers and scratched her again behind the ears, which seemed to calm her down immensely. Nepeta's grateful smile was more Troll-like and emotional than anything Rose had seen her do all day. "For what it's worth, Nepeta, I don't think Dave actually likes blackrom any more than you."

"Yeah," Rose said. "She's not… she's not cheating on Equius." _At least._

"I know…" Nepeta said, risking a look back at the fight. "'m not stupid."

Equius had just finished his apparently triple-forced response to Aradia's monologue, which just barely broke past his mixed embarrassment and intrigue. "…I don't have to stand for this… this… cuckoldry!"

And it was Dave who laughed, breaking out of his self-enforced neutrality. "Oh man, horsebits. _Only you._ "

And Aradia grinned at him, an idea coming to fore that sparkled even in her robotic eyes. She closed with Dave before he could fully raise a finger of protest and locked him at the lips. At first Equius was prepared to react with a sigh and a touch more perspiration, this being fully expected, but he and the others changed their tune when Dave decided to get in on the act and kissed back with a black passion. Aradia played in turn, taking on the weakened persona she had made up moments before and clasped his hand in hers, letting him crush the cosmetic covering on her fingers with an aluminum crunch. John jumped aside at the sight of them, muttering "W-whoa, man." He headed straight to what only he or Tavros could consider the relative safety of Vriska. Equius was livid.

When Dave parted the kiss, Rose thought she heard a short chuckle slip from Aradia's mouth, and Dave freed her damaged hand to hold up the finger he had tried to ready prior. "Don't you make me a part of this," he whispered.

"He'll work it out eventually," she said back. She turned back to Equius who was breathing heavily just to stay standing, kissed some fingers on the hand her secret Red lover had damaged and touched it to his lips. "Don't worry, you. I'll fix it myself. … _I'm used to it_." Equius' only response was to squeeze his tough, leather oil rag so hard that Rose thought she heard it tearing.

Aradia returned to her seat, and Feferi caught her breath when she realized Aradia was there, just a seat away. Sollux stopped his lesson, and even Aradia stopped to see what was going to come.

"…Princess?" she asked, when nothing did.

"I…" but Feferi's courage seemed to fade when Equius returned and took Eridan's chair, temporarily abandoned by the pile of spare parts when Eridan had stopped to watch the fight. Eridan slumped off to steal Terezi's chair, instead. "…nothing," Feferi said, her voice shrunk away like a mouse, almost entirely silent. Aradia did not hide her confusion in the look she shot to Sollux, who could only shrug in reply before leaning over his matesprit and starting a fervent conversation.

But Nepeta's reaction was the strangest. Close enough to the couch to overhear Dave and Aradia's quiet exchange, she gasped a ninja's gasp, plucked her tablet from her inventory and began working at a furious pace. Rose looked over her shoulder and noticed her highlight "AA <3 TG" with a series of increasingly enthusiastic question marks.

"But…" Jade said, breaking away from trying to shoot Dave a meaningful look, "I thought you hated her."

Nepeta looked up at both girls with exasperation. "I don't hate _Dave_ ," she said, with a roll of her eyes.

"Unbelievable."

Rose and the others turned about and realized they were not alone in checking the shipping charts. Karkat had returned, and looked grimly at them and then the rest of the room. Only a few ignored their fearless leader at first, but none when he stomped his foot with an echo Rose would not have expected. "Disgusting!" he said, mostly to keep their interest. "You shit-punks have spent the last twenty-odd days with nothing to do but cozy up to one another and all we see from it is a bunch of segmented romances by cowards that don't want to pry out of their favourite quadrants!"

"Uh…" Tavros spoke for everyone: "…what?"

"I'm talking about this display right here!" he swept his arms at all of them. "You like the look of blackrom, bitches? Here's a funny idea, oh, I don't know, GET YOUR OWN! Good fuck, people, it's not like I expected you to fall into place the moment we had a few week's calm but you'd think you've all gone so far north or south on the relationship scale that you forgot the rest of it existed! And you!" He rounded on Nepeta. "Acting all afraid of it," he said, in angry speaking tone. Nepeta knew Karkat well enough to take it, but Rose didn't appreciate him hitting her when she was down. To the rest of the group and at his usual speaking volume, Karkat raged: "This used to be a point of pride! 'Even our hate makes us stronger!'"

Feferi, who Sollux had tried to return to coding instructions, turned back over her shoulder. "Oh, don't quote her, Karkat!"

"Yeah, not cool," Vriska said, and Rose thought she saw a curious murmur and series of nods go about the room before Karkat snuffed it.

"I'm serious!" Karkat stepped towards Feferi as he spoke, taking the middle of the room as his stage. "At first I thought it was the Humans, but no. No! They even understand this better than you! God knows what we'll do without them!"

 _What we will_. That cut, and Karkat did not seem to realize it. Dave did not react but John and Jade, who had been looking away and hoping the conversation would not turn in their direction, turned back with surprise. Rose, seeing a worrying lack of that same surprise on the faces of the Trolls, tossed a look instead to Kanaya, who could only shake her head.

"Now just look, who in here has even bothered to fill a quadrant on both sides of Red and Black? There's me—"

A loud cough, loud enough even to overcome even Karkat, cut him off. He turned to the transportalizer to see Terezi, her cane held in an offensive grip as she tapped it against the floor. She could not have been there long, but the look of disgust on her face spoke to 'long enough.' Rose did not think Karkat really appreciated the depth of it, but before it could come to a boil, Terezi looked over at Rose and a grin invaded her frown and pushed it away. She turned instead to the horn pile and sat down beside Gamzee.

"Darling," she greeted.

"'Sup bra?"

Terezi reached into her pocket and pulled out a canister. "I replaced those face paints I spilled."

"Wicked," Gamzee said, accepting the gift. "That was an awful hot dog," he added. Karkat looked on, stupefied, no doubt still remembering Rose's out-of-context comment about them 'breaking up' the night before.

"I believe," Terezi said, "you were making a terrible speech?"

Karkat was nothing if not stubborn. "…Me…" he said, once again counting off on his fingers.

Dave, who was again checking out the ceiling, said: "John don't count either, man."

"Oh, well, then I stand corrected," Karkat said, to John's confusion, and Karkat returned his count to one: " _ME_." Dave just shook his head. "…Aradia, and Rose. There isn't a single biological Troll but your fearless leader in both Black _and_ Red."

"Thanks a lot, Karkat," Aradia said as she plugged herself into her computer.

"This isn't just about romance, you know," he said. "This is about Troll fucking Pride, and I'd at least like to see some of you shits _pretending_ to care. Think of what we'll become, eh?" He vaulted over the arm of the couch to save on two steps of walking and landed in front of the DVDs, which he began to rifle through.

"Uh, Karkat?" Rose said. "I know we've been pinned down by the housecat here, but don't you think we were gonna use that?"

"I'm not watching the movie," he said, finding the disc he wanted and loading it.

A few legal messages went by, and the disc immediately filtered into the traditional first feature: the attached propaganda. But this one was different. Rose immediately noticed the lack of the usual soothing, after-school-special voice of the government's favourite host. There was no sign of that comfortable looking fellow, who peppered his bright messages for Alternia's youth with jovial culling threats and cash incentives to turn in mutants; the man John had dubbed "Troll McClure." Instead, the propaganda began with an overhead shot of a mass rally or procession, with all of the participants arranged in odd geometric shapes: hexagons or the rounded stars with spiked points that Rose recognized from the fortress designs used in Europe before the first World War. The camera zoomed in to give Rose her first sight of the Troll Empire, dressed for war.

"Look at 'em," Karkat said to the video's new audience. "Ready. Primed. These were Trolls! Jackasses, fine! But Trolls!"

They were dressed in camo, a land force of some sort, and each equipped with a heavy laser rifle and an unnecessary hand weapon held by the belt that Rose could not make out thanks to high camera shots. They had no ammunition belts or grenades, but worn-in marks on their uniforms that even Troll detergent could not remove showed that those items had simply been removed for the demonstration. Some held flags or traditional unit banners, commanders wore their blood colour proudly no their cuffs, none below Green. They stood in formation tall and proud, like they were born to be there, to a point. They squirmed as soon when they thought the camera looked away but held firm when they knew they were in frame, knowing their greatest weapon was in that propaganda, the symbolism of their ranks in the minds of the young Trolls watching on Alternia. Above them rose a thicket of candy-corn horns of every shape and size, and the camera angled low above this thicket as often as possible, to emphasize over and again, like Karkat, that these were Trolls.

And then it cut to her, and she began to speak.

"There she is," said Eridan, somewhere behind the couch, but Rose did not look away. She could not help it. It was not magic or anything she had known even from Sburb, but simple pure charisma that kept Rose fixed on Her Imperial Majesty of the Eternal Thunder. She was saying something about the opening of the breeding season, but Rose was not listening. This woman was unbelievable to her. Not beautiful: in truth as well as flattery she preferred Kanaya in more than a few ways. But she had presence and magnitude. Her double trident shone in the light even though it looked like was made only of base, practical metal. Rose turned away and took a good look at Eridan, who looked up at the screen in a similar hypnotism. Rose wondered if it was possible this was an adult, aquatic Troll capability? Perhaps just the females? Would Feferi moult and strike her in exactly this same way?

"God dammed _bitch_ ," Eridan said.

"Sing it," chimed Karkat. If he had had a purpose when he had started this video, the Empress had distracted it out of memory. "Take a look Egbert," he said to John. "My first hate!" John looked – goodness knows he could not look away any more than the rest of them. "Fucking bitch turned Trolldom to shit, and we were gonna tear her a new one. Would have been quite a life."

"Guys," said Feferi, somewhere further away in the back than she had seemed before. "Turn her off, for glub's sake."

But the camera had cut to a new angle, and Rose had a question she had to ask. "Who are… those?"

"Her family," Karkat said. "Breeding season after all. Whole fucking family filling a pack of gilded fucking buckets, lined with bleach. I mean, I guess. Why risk all that pink blood being hereditary?."

Rose nodded, and the pieces sort of fell into place. Looking at them, she felt she could identify the Empress' partners at a glance. The matesprit: a male Troll, purple blooded in his finery, who held the Empress' free hand. The moirail: a stunning woman, more attractive than her partner by degrees, in brilliant but duller pink than the Empress and the trappings that lined the stage. Her kismesis: a Green sitting slump on the floor, chained and bound to a purple-blooded male auspistice who looked like he was trying to yank his prisoner to his feet whenever the camera was looking away. The kismesis was slumped and casual, and tended to roll his eyes or puppet the speech being given at his back.

Karkat knew the family intimately and led a tour with Eridan's colour commentary, now purely historical even though they were facts that had once so clearly preoccupied Karkat's mind. "And that lucky son of a bitch is a pirate that right out attacked the flagship one day and had her on a chase for three sweeps. Took off part of her finger one time, I heard."

Eridan piped up. " _I_ heard that when they finally caught him alive, he woke up chained in her bedroom with no sopor for five days." And Karkat laughed at that, a hearty and healthy laugh Rose had never heard from him even when he was teasing John, and he slapped Eridan hard on the back. He was happier than any of the Humans had ever seen him.

"…Hey!" he said suddenly. "Hey! _We never said goodbye!_ "

Rose looked around and saw that he had again secured all the others' attention, even Aradia's, and their reaction was one of excitement against the Human's confusion. Rose felt like she was intruding on something that didn't concern her, that she really had no right to be a part of. Nepeta outright sat up and got up to Karkat's side, bouncing. Sollux seemed intrigued as he typed behind his back with only one hand; only Feferi looked down.

"Karkat," she said, "we _really_ don't have to do this."

"Yeah, yeah we do!" And the others nodded or chimed agreement. "I mean, we won, _she's dead_!" The others cheered agreement. "We swore, remember? We swore that one day all of us that were still alive would get and say goodbye to this bitch and all of her _horseshit_! Well that's now, princess."

The others were babbling their agreement, voicing their buried surprise that of course, the Empress was dead, wasn't she? It did not seem to have occurred to any of them. Feferi sighed but nodded a slow consent, saying "Fine, Karkat, fine," and he went back to the DVDs with energy to spare and began to fast-forward through the propaganda. The other Trolls, even Vriska, bubbled with energy as they waited, boiling with a revolutionary fervour that Kanaya had only hinted at in their early conversations. At the end Karkat hit play and Rose found that an orchestral tune was playing: an anthem in a dead language Rose did not understand.

And the other Trolls began to sing. The Trolls on the screen sang in a hollow chorus, but there in the lab the Trolls replied with the anarchy that fed their past lives as revolutionaries: this, it would seem, was there goodbye. Gamzee sang in warbling verse, and Terezi, cooled toward Karkat at this big of lost nostalgia, hung an arm over Gamzee's back and rocked them back and forth as she sang in dirge. Even Aradia sang, soft and quiet. Kanaya and Sollux sang with ironic smiles, Equius with a diligent enthusiasm. Vriska's tune was more of a screech, Nepeta a predictable caterwaul, Tavros unconfident as ever and warbling, but they sang all the same. Even Feferi, after a pause. Rose had never, from the moment they had met and every hour that had followed, seen the twelve of them in that moment of chaotic song in such perfect unity, mocking the anthem of the enemy.

"Wow." It was John, leaning over the edge of the couch to be heard over the crowd. "I know they said they were never really 'friends' but look at 'em!"

"Once upon a time, eh?" Rose said, and he nodded.

"If we could get them like this Jack would run off with his tail between his legs." And Rose believed it. Even though they were singing victory they looked ready to take on the world. John pulled away. He was thinking, thinking hard, struck with inspiration. "If we could… get them like this again…" he started.

But the song came toward its end, and he trailed off. At that point, all the Trolls in video and real life stood at attention, except for Karkat. Instead, he called out his scythes and dug with it at his fingers before assuming the same position. And at the end of the song the hands went out, fingers splayed on the screen in an Alternian salute. The camera shot low above the thicket of horns to the forest of raised hands, and in the lab they responded.

Rose did not remember quite when they had first discovered the Trolls shared several insulting gestures with them, but she knew it meant the same as it would on Earth when all twelve Trolls, from Karkat to Feferi, raised a different sort of salute to their fallen foes. A mutant trickle of candy red blood spiralled down Karkat's middle finger, but he was not alone. Terezi, Kanaya, Tavros and Feferi had also pricked themselves at some point during the song, and a rainbow alliance flipped off the magenta stage on the screen. Rose realized then just what she was missing by not understanding this part of their history. This had driven them together, and the symbolism of mixed blood did not go past even her. She wondered if she would ever know the details in full. Her friends held there until the screen went blank and Karkat hit Stop.

There was a dire, mournful pause for a moment, and then a whoop of triumph from Vriksa, followed by a burst of laughter from all corners. And they laughed and laughed, clapping one another on the back and shouting jokes across the room. They were gleeful and invigorated like Rose had never seen; laughing at a past they had lost. The thing that had brought them together once upon a time faded away in celebration of the only victory they had been able to enjoy, trapped in the void, no chance to live.

Karkat called them all back to order with a brief solemnity, as he held up his hands for silence then, like a soldier, bowed toward Feferi. The others, Equius and Eridan with particular enthusiasm, followed. A magenta tear slipped from her eyes. "You guys…" and when she turned toward Sollux she reached out and pushed him back up. "N-no," she said to him. "That's not… you don't have to. _None_ of you have to, don't be stupid!"

"All right, all right," Karkat said, standing straight. "You heard the lady, back to you pathetic little lives!"

Vriska's hand shot up towards him in salute. "Fuck you, sir!" Karkat replied by using her palm for a high five, restoring the jovial atmosphere that had been in the air, and everyone returned to their initial tasks with good humour, save two. Nepeta ran over to Equius and sat immediately in his lap, arms around his neck, and she whispered belated comforts to him. But soon even they were smiling again.

"You're a piece of work, do you know that?" Rose greeted Karkat when he returned to the couch. He nodded with unusual serenity, waving toward himself for more praise. "I've got a question for you but I didn't want to interrupt."

"Shoot."

Rose borrowed the remote from him and rewound just a few frames, until she could see the Empress' stage again. She pointed at one figure in particular, a hulking shadow spiked at almost every free angle, which laboured over two heavy loads. "Is that what I think it is?"

"Ooooh yeah," Karkat said. "In the flesh."

Rose adjusted the video to a better shot, and John sucked air through his teeth at the first sight of an Imperial Drone.

"Is that why you're so worried about everyone's breeding habits?" Rose asked. "Because you don't have drones to scare them into line?"

"Mostly," Karkat admitted. "What about it? That's a leader's job, right?"

"Yeah, I realize. What are you going to do without them?"

Karkat returned a haughty laugh, much more like his usual laughs than the happiness he had shown before. Even his scowl was returning. "You worried that I'm going to come burst down your and Kan's door eight years from now? Show up on Strider and Medigo's porch and hope either of them can give me a damn usable thing? Yeah, I know, they're totally flushed. Spare me, I'm the relationship king, remember? Hope you were getting your hopes up on him, Harley."

Jade rolled her eyes. "I'm happy for them, fuckass, thanks for your concern."

"Okay, okay, that was uncalled for, I'm sorry." Karkat seemed to mean it. He even reached over to apologetically pat her shoulder, though Rose wondered if that was the celebratory atmosphere or if it was just Jade that was reigning him in. "But yeah, I guess we do need some sort of reminder, even if we end up using ecto for the rest of forever. Whatever. No trouble, I've got a plan. You know me." He got up and faced the others, slumped against the couch. "Check this out: we're Trolls, and we're _naturally_ afraid of the drones. In three or four sweeps I'll just pick whoever grew up looking the most like a drone to scare everyone into line. That'd be fantastic, because dealing with these shits once was already enough." He added with a laugh: "These people are brick fucking wal…"

And then he got an idea. Rose could still see his face in profile and saw the inkling come to life in his eyes and a smile grow on his face, curling up first at the edges and spreading through his entire face. The more it grew the more comfortable he looked with it and soon some of those nearby began to notice his strange behaviour, their attention perhaps drawn by his use of the word "drone." When he spoke again, it was clear and loud enough to be heard across all the other speakers clear to the other end of the room.

"Yeah," he said. "I'll just pick one of us to be the new drone. I figure we'll go with, I don't know… whoever has the most… _horns_."

The room fell still as they realized what he was talking about, but a wave of giggling followed when they decoded his intent. Nepeta got up from Equius' lap so that she could peer properly in the right direction, and the crept over to whisper to Tavros. Rose was not certain, but she thought she heard laughter and the B-word being passed along the room like a hot potato. Soon, the only sound in the room that wasn't at a conspiratorial volume was the sound of typing. Typing that slowed, and slowed, and finally stopped all together.

"… _no_ "

Karkat's smile got even larger. "Sollux, c'mon, we're _friends_ , right?"

"No, no, fucking _no, KK!_ " He rounded and stood to face his friend.

Karkat stepped forward as he spoke, arms casually behind his back. "No what, Sollux? Doing a service to your matesprit here in running the new world, I mean, I think that's downright patriotic!"

Sollux tried to protest: "'No,' as in 'No, I don't want to hold your fucking buck—'"

But Feferi suddenly reached out and held him by the arm. "Please? PL-------EAS-E?" Sollux jolted at the force she used to tug at him. "This is really important! And…" she lowered her voice. "And I'm not… Sollux, I'm not really going to be comfortable to tell everyone else to breed."

Sollux was wide-eyed: the two people that would normally be his first lines of defence had turned on him! "FF, he's talking about sweepth from now!"

Without letting go of his hand, Feferi's swapped out her demeanour for one more "head of state": "I'll have you know," she said, dignified and sitting straight, "that I'm not just carping on this as an official matter. After all, I'm going to need time to groom you for the position."

"Yeah," chimed Karkat - Vriska, who laughing herself into a fit, joined him mid-sentence and matched him almost word for word: "she has to show you how to extract genetic material!" Feferi did her very best to hold a demure, even loving smile, but she was a natural giggler and it was clear that with her boyfriend's expression looking like it did that she would not be able to long hold out.

Equius took to his feet. "Now if I may say something—" and was immediately called at by almost the entire crowd to shut up, including Gamzee who, despite the fact that Equius was standing on the opposite side of the couple from him, shouted: "Down in front!"

Equius paused but otherwise ignored them: "Now I'm being serious..." he started.

Eridan interrupted: "We know!"

Equius ignored him too: "But you do must realize that, excuse me, Princess: things taking their natural course, this man will be our Prince Consort one day in the future. Is that _really_ the kind of public figure you want digging around in our… our…"

Sollux hung his head, and Feferi reached up and wrapped both hands about the one she held and pulled it to her lips, to kiss his fingertips and bury her laughter. It was Terezi who chose to respond.

"Zahak, towel off and do some math! If we do get out of here alive, we're all going to have to do double duty to pull things back together."

A chorus of agreement went through the room that made Equius return to his seat, but as the others were talking about which chores they hoped they would land, Feferi continued to speak to Sollux.

"Do you really not want to?" she asked.

"I don't know," he replied. "I just can't imagine..."

"I know," she said, "you don't like new projects interrupting your schedule. But you'd only work a few days a year, and…" she dropped to an even harsher whisper "…everything you see those days you can lord over them for the rest of the perigree, and I won't say a _thing_!" He laughed in spite of himself, and she rubbed the top of his palm. "And not just for the hours, Sollux. We need this. We can't act like we can wait until Kanaya rounds everyone up into kismeses. She'll drop dead from exhaustion. I mean, maybe Rose will could help, that'd be  GR--EAT! But I can't act like she's going to be there no matter what. The Humans have their own lives coming up, you know."

Rose immediately wished she had not heard that. She had been briefly elated that Feferi, in her regal, official form, thought she could count on her to do auspistice work. But that was smothered by the heavy weight that Feferi thought she would just up and leave the Trolls as soon as they were settled in their new lives. Rose rubbed at the back of her neck, embarrassed and wishing she could say something, and realized at once that Sollux could see her doing it.

"All I'm saying is that, in a few sweeps?" Feferi said, "we're gonna need someone big and scary just to remind them that there's a line, and I'd really, really appreciate your help."

"But I'm not big and scary," he muttered, and he reached up to rub his own neck in an unconscious mimic. "…but," he said. "Since we're starting fresh, maybe we can make it… smart and scary?" A smile teased on his lips as he whispered: "You know. Just this once."

And Feferi gave a great shout of joy and threw her arms around his neck, pushing he and his chair across the floor and her to her knees, where she laughed at herself. The other trolls looked up to see them, and Rose though she heard Karkat say "Oh, _finally_ " as Feferi hopped over to sit in Sollux's lap, throwing a fist into the air.

"So you'll do it?" Karkat asked to confirm.

"Yes. Fuck."

"Awesome," Karkat said, and he clapped his hands once. "Ladies and gentlemen, your new Imperial Drone!" And the others actually did applaud in the end, as Karkat walked away muttering: "I wash my hands of your grubfucking relationship deficiencies!"

But Jade jumped to her feet. "Wait, wait, wait!" She ran up towards Sollux, taking Karkat's place, and only then realized she had every eye on her. She blushed furiously. "Uh… hi!" She dangled a foot. "Well, you see… when Dave started to duplicate my tower, one of the surviving rooms in the middle? Well, it got run over by imps, pretty much in every duplicate. It was the room where Grandpa kept the… uh… automated vacuum system and other… uh, stuff."

"Oh. Oh god," said Dave, who immediately turned away. But the other humans caught on as well, Rose trying to hide her laughter behind both hands and John not bothering at all.

"So…" Jade continued. "I just wanted to… give you something to commemorate your new… position! And show that even though this isn't how Rose or John or Dave and I do things, we still… support you and…"

"Jade," Dave said, "just do it!"

Jade swallowed hard and retrieved a Strife card from her deck. "…I have the bucketKind specibus."

The response was immediate and clamorous, louder even than the cheers at the dead Empress, save for Nepeta who only managed a squeak and Equius who looked like he was about to have a heart attack. Rose headed over to Kanaya, who had barrelled over in tears as she tried to hide her laughter.

Dave spoke up: "I was picking up every bucket I saw in every duplicate cleaning rooms because I didn't want any of you to freak on me or her," he explained. "Jade picked them up, there must have been about, I don't know, a hundred in that card."

"Eugh!" shouted Vriska between laughs. Most of the Trolls were laughing now that Equius had recovered ("Hideous! Indescent!"): even Feferi, who planted intermittent kisses on his brilliant yellow-blushed cheeks.

Jade, her smile showing she was getting into the mood in spite of herself, held up both hands. "And I certainly don't want it!"

"No!" clamoured the others, even Equius joining in this time. Feferi eventually did get off of Sollux's lap and gestured to him to take the card. He looked like he was going to be sick, but somewhere along the line, perhaps, he remembered that he had promised to be scary, and he stood up. He stood up not just to the floor but up again onto his desk, then waited for quiet and pointed in a pan at all the other Trolls.

"I want you all to know," he said. "That you are all, each and every one of you, going two per2onally pay for thii2 one day"

And he snapped up the card from Jade's outstretched hands to the cheers of his teammates. Karkat, once again satisfied with a job well done, did as he had done earlier that morning and jumped back onto the couch. Jade ran back to fight him for it, Nepeta soon joining in to help. Sollux returned to the floor and the room returned to normal, even happier than they had been.

"Any chance you're almost done?" Rose asked Kanaya. In the distance, she saw Karkat get pinned by the girls, who claimed the TV as their own.

"Almost," she said, watching the others with equal fascination. Terezi and Gamzee were singing another round of some new song. John was talking to poor pinned Karkat. Eridan and Tavros wandered off toward the kitchen and Vriska, left to her own devices, had taken advantage of everyone's good mood to scooch over toward Aradia, perhaps at last to make that apology Rose had demanded. "I think, given the situation, that I will forgo my cleaning chores."

Rose smiled at matesprit. "I like your friends," she said. "I wish I had met them earlier."

"It's been sweeps," Kanaya said, wonder in her eyes, and she smiled before returning to finish up her work. Rose headed over toward the couch to spend away the rest of her time, but found it to be in a more dire mood than she had expected. Jade shuffled through DVDs, specifically cartoons. That did not bode well.

"What's the matter?" Rose asked.

"I…" John cleared his throat. "Well, I was watching everyone, being all cooperative, working together to jibe Sollux and all. I was just saying that maybe, instead of waiting, we should set a date for, uh… for when we go and fight Jack."

Rose's breath caught in her throat. "…Oh."

"Yeah," he said, his usual look of doofish leadership in its prime. "I think if everyone's working towards it, we'll all be able to get together as a team and… pull it off. Like…"

"Like we haven't been," Karkat said from the couch. That hung in the air for a while, the only sound being Jade's shuffling of cases and Nepeta's commentary at each vibrant cover as it passed. "Haven't picked a date yet," Karkat added.

The mood was interrupted only by cries in the distance.

"uH, wHOA,"

"What the fuck happened to the kitchen?" Eridan shouted.

"Uh…" Rose looked back toward the horn pile, but Terezi and Gamzee had already made their escape. _Well,_ Rose thought, _that mood wasn't going to last forever._ "I have to go… help… Kan…"

John looked up. "Why, what's in the kitchen?"

"Nothing? I don't know, uh… Bread?" _Shit!_ "Well, you know… food."

"Lalonde…" said Karkat.

"Wow Karkat," Rose stammered. "You're not smiling near enough for a handsome guy being pinned down by two pretty girls and… Well, bye!"

"Dammit Lalonde, get back here!"

Rose grinned nervously to Kanaya as she passed. "Boy, you're impulsive for one night and, what do you know?" ("GET THE HELL BACK HERE!") "…Date might be delayed a liiiiittle bit longer." Kanaya waved a laughing goodbye as she left on what, thanks to Terezi's inappropriately timed sense of justice, would prove to be a fruitless escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been sitting on this pesterlog since just after Chapter 9/A03 10. It has just been languishing here ever since (though that's not why it has that jossed discussion about breeding in it - that wasn't jossed by the time this chapter went up. All the same, I plan to edit it (mostly out) at some point or another). The entire exchange between Feferi and Sollux (just the dialogue, along with interjections from the peanut gallery) is even older than that, first appearing, oh hell, somewhere around Chapter 5 or so. The video of the Troll army and Empress is one of the fic's founding visuals, though I think [Conquest](http://archiveofourown.org/works/134671/chapters/192685) has largely circumvented the need by providing a more thorough and entertaining portrayal of the Empire, but I have my reasons for maintaining it EDIT August 2011: and so obviously have kept it even now that canon has changed the nature of the Empress. Hmm...


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While there are a lot of instances like this, I think it's especially worth noting that this chapter was written before Andrew gave Equius a hatred of Seadwellers.
> 
> I've tossed transcribing Sollux's lisp in this one. I'm sure someone finds that to be a relief, but you never know in a fandom so used to decoding "quirks". It should have been cut from the other chapters by now as well, but email me if you see any.

>   
> TT: If I can ask, what's the point, from your perspective?    
> GA: How Do You Mean   
> TT: I mean, what's the point of auspistice work? I understand the function from the auspisticees' perspective but I don't think I understand the motives of the auspistice herself.    
> GA: Oh I See  
> GA: I Was Thrown By Your Phrasing  
> GA: Im Not Sure Im Qualified To Answer Something Like That  
> GA: I Mean I Am Still Very Young   
> TT: Oh? So your previous auspstice experiences have yet to strike that magic relationship chord?  
> TT: If I'm not being too florid.    
> GA: I Suppose You Could Say That  
> GA: But The Core Issue Is Not That I Have Not Experienced A Fulfilling Ashen Relationship  
> GA: But That I Have Never Been In A Serious One At All   
> TT: Pardon me?    
> GA: Exactly What I Said   
> TT: But haven't you said all along that you're the go-to auspistice in your group?  
> TT: Constantly bogged down by unwanted requests and solicitations?    
> GA: Thats Correct  
> GA: But Just Because I Am In Demand Does Not Mean I Have Accepted   
> TT: Oh Kanaya, no.  
> TT: For goodness' sake I understand the unrequited crush angle with Vriska but at this point I think it's clear you're taking the virgin thing too far.    
> GA: The What Thing   
> TT: A "virgin" is someone who's never had sex, but the term can also be used in reference to someone who has not done any certain thing, and is especially relevant in terms that relate to sex, such as relationships.    
> GA: Thank You Oh Human Dictionary I Would Be In Your Debt But Im Perfectly Aware Of What The Word Means  
> GA: I Wasnt Aware I Was Making A Thing Of It How Is This A Thing   
> TT: You've never filled a single quadrant besides Vriska, have you?  
> TT: Your invitation to me is the first time you've even come close, isn't it?    
> GA: Scandal And Lies  
> GA: Besides I Know For A Fact From My Spying On You That You Are Worse Off Than Me   
> TT: Yes, very un-virginal for you to be spying on me like that.    
> GA: Ill Have You Know That My Spying Has Been Pristine Beyond The Actual Act Of Spying   
> TT: Relax, I think I can trust you that far.  
> TT: Anyways, I'm not trying to start a dating history competition. I'm just curious about why you chose to turn down what you've described as almost a cavalcade of hating suitors.    
> GA: Im Not Sure About Cavalcade But There Have Been At Least Seven Pairs   
> TT: Seven? Really? Who?    
> GA: Dont Mistake Me Only Some Are From Among Our Number  
> GA: And Ive Excluded Caligulasaquarium And His Fairly Recent Attempt To Solicit A Mediator For Him And His Imagined Relationship With Vriska.  
> GA: While She And I Were Still Moirails I Should Point Out   
> TT: Oh yes, that one I've met.  
> TT: I sent him a gift.    
> GA: Oh Yes Of Course  
> GA: This Side Of The Room Still Smells Like Melted Plastic   
> TT: So no one from your current peer group?    
> GA: Actually The First Was Carcinogeneticist and Gallowscalibrator  
> GA: We Were Three Sweeps Old It Was Not Very Serious  
> GA: I Suppose My Presence Ensured That In Fact   
> TT: Ah, childhood relationships. I think Strider once dated a young something in third grade before she left him for another frivolous eight-year-old fling.  
> TT: Or so he frames it, you will have to excuse me if I don't give his angle much credence.  
> TT: He pretends that it doesn't bother him but that it came up at all suggested to me that she might have struck a nerve.  
> TT: I like to think he watched her go and shed a single tear from under the ridiculous shades he was assuredly already wearing at the time.    
> GA: You Find This Amusing  
> GA: Friendship Baffles Me   
> TT: That's fine, dear. You'll get it.    
> GA: For Their Part Cg and Gc Stewed In Ignominy For A Few Nights Over Whatever Minute Slight Caused Them To Declare Their Eternal Hatred In The First Place  
> GA: I Dont Honestly Remember Myself  
> GA: A Few Days Later Gc Had Sewn Her First Plush  
> GA: She Was So Excited To Show It Off Online To Our Then Smaller Peer Group That Cg Forgot To Insult Her And It Petered Out From There  
> GA: I Was Scarcely Involved At All   
> TT: So were any of the other requests from within your current circle?    
> GA: Yes From Nepeta The Once  
> GA: It Was How We Met In Fact  
> GA: Equius Recommended Me To Her For Just Such A Task But I Turned Her Down  
> GA: She Soon Lost Interest In The Young Woman As I Understand It   
> TT: That's fair. I mean, you're only six sweeps old. If our culture's dating habits come even close to one another, I imagine real attempts at serious relationships would just be starting. I wasn't expecting an outline of torrid affairs or anything.    
> GA: Fair Enough  
> GA: I Suppose Some Of My Earlier Solicitations Might Just Have Been Made Out Of Malice In Fact   
> TT: Malice?    
> GA: Older Landed Trolls Seeking A Weak Auspistice To Place Blame On For Their Own Planned Or Active Infidelities  
> GA: Fortunately I Was No More Interested In Their Company Than I Would Have Been Their Plan  
> GA: I Suppose If Genuine They Would Have Made Useful Allies Since They Would Have Been Able To Infiltrate The Fleet Ahead Of Us  
> GA: But The Princess Was Willing To Account For Our Feelings When It Came To Our Personal Lives  
> GA: Highly Unusual Of Her But  
> GA: Appreciated   
> TT: Is it... normal to pair off allies in hopes of grabbing more allies?    
> GA: Of Course  
> GA: We Were At War Those Willing To Take Extra Measures Would Have Done So  
> GA: And Whats A Greater Orange Keratin-Rich Root Vegetable Before The Domesticated Musclebeast Than Sex And Its Trimmings  
> GA: The Former Empress Herself Was Matesprited With A Powerful Warlord In An Effort That Gained Her A Third Of Her Current Fleet  
> GA: Her Moirail Was A Rival For The Throne That She Subdued More Peaceably   
> TT: Sounds a good deal like the old monarchies on Earth.  
> TT: But we're straying. Did you turn down every one of your proposals?    
> GA: Not Quite  
> GA: For Four Perigrees In My Fourth And Fifth Sweeps I Was Auspistice For A Couple About Our Age  
> GA: But I Would Not Say We Were Close Enough Geographically Or Emotionally For Me To Really Feel An Ashen Longing For Them  
> GA: Or Them For Me   
> TT: Would you mind if I ask about that?    
> GA: Not At All   
> TT: Their names?    
> GA: Nerida And Taxxon  
> GA: She A Purple Blooded Landdweller And He A Teal Blooded Desert Type  
> GA: Taxxon Might Have Very Well Be Considered A Neighbour Of Mine If One Keeps In Mind The Scope Of The Desert   
> TT: I'll have to use my imagination.    
> GA: Beyond That Theres Not Much To Tell  
> GA: Taxxon And I Had Known One Another For Some Time Since We Would Run Into One Another While Trying To Flag Down A Delivery Droid Or Such  
> GA: For All I Know We Crawled Out Of The Nests Together Given Our Age And Locale   
> TT: I'm afraid I don't understand this part of the process very well but I'll take you at your word and save it for a later question.    
> GA: Ah Of Course My Fault There  
> GA: Should I Continue Or Divert   
> TT: No, continue, I'll keep up.    
> GA: Gamzee Knew A Troll Who Knew Nerida  
> GA: Beyond That I Dont Know Much About Her Background  
> GA: Both Ended Up Inducted In Our Budding Conspiracy And Came To Hate One Another  
> GA: Nerida Did Not Trust Him To Stay Loyal To Her Or Us Any More Than Any Kismesis Should So She Turned To Feferi Who Directed Her To Me  
> GA: Taxxon Approved And There Is Not Much More To Say   
> TT: Was it really that boring?   
> GA: Not Really  
> GA: Nevertheless I See No Sense In Retelling The Details And Derailing Our Entire Conversation   
> TT: But you wouldn't say you felt any deep emotional attachment to the relationship?   
> GA: No I Suppose I Didnt Even At The Time In Hindsight  
> GA: Taxxon And Nerida Hated One Another Well Enough But I Just Did Not Fit Into The Equation  
> GA: Even When Nerida Did Start To Waver Toward Hating Eridan   
> TT: Another long-lost ally?    
> GA: Oh No Im Referring To Caligulasaquarium   
> TT: Oh?   
> GA: Im Afraid That Part Of The Story Actually Is Just As Dull As I Have Been Casting The Rest  
> GA: Perhaps If I Had Been More Challenged In Keeping Nerida In Line I Would Have Felt More Involved  
> GA: But Keeping Her Away From Eridan Took Up The Smaller Part Of A Ten Minute Trolling  
> GA: Thats About The All Of It   
> TT: So what is it, then, if I'm not going to get it from a story?  
> TT: What's the reason someone would want to become an auspistice?   
> 
> 
> \-------------------
> 
> (It just so happened that, just several pesters prior, Kanaya was interrupted in her chat by a clatter in the room behind her. Aradia and Equius, who had been long growling at one another over the proper washer to install in one of Aradia's replacement arteries, hit the floor in a passionate embrace. Nepeta scattered, Feferi stayed where she was as though unable to look away, and the rest of the room tried their best to pretend nothing was happening as they kissed and began to roll about in a juvenile contest to determine who was going to spend their lip-lock on top.
> 
> Kanaya tried to continue the conversation for a time, explaining to Rose about Nerida and Eridan. The noise proved quite frustrating, but there was nothing she could do at first. That changed when, having settled on their sides, the kismeses began to change their tune. At first Equius' snarls morphed towards contentment. Acceptable. The pleasant murmuring Aradia tried to simulate was also within the spaded bounds. The smiles. Fine. Even the way Equius ran his hand up Aradia's side did not even grate Kanaya any more than the rest. No one said kismeses _had_ to be physically rough with one another. There was no rule and Kanaya was not about to begrudge anyone whatever they might like to do in private, though she would have preferred it stay there. No, it was the way Equius moved up his hand to Aradia's face, and gently stroked her aluminum cheek between kisses, the way the kissing had trickled off to fluttering touches. Most prominent was the way that Nepeta's discontent had trickled away and had been slowly replaced by green flush and trembling hands. That had to stop. Kanaya had turned about in her swivel chair and then loudly cleared her throat. Her face spoke the rest.
> 
> The effect was immediate. Equius looked up past Aradia out of the corner of his eye and there he saw Kanaya. She sat with her Virgo horns silhouetted in the light of her computer monitor, judging. He scurried back, a look of fear on his face quickly masked by a look of sheepish guilt and hyperhydration, and Aradia looked over her shoulder before reacting with her own emotionless brand of worried scuttling. She went at once to her computer and Equius went, hands fumbling, to his tools. Settled, he forgot to install a washer entirely and had to take Aradia's leg apart again later that evening to fix the damage.)
> 
> \-------------------
> 
>   
> GA: Do Humans Derive Pleasure From Dominating Others   
> TT: Yes, sometimes.    
> GA: Then "Dominance"   
> TT: I like it.   
> 

  


* * *

Vriska ran over her plan in her head a fourth time and was still fairly confident that it was her newest best plan ever. Rose thought she was so smart, but Vriska knew how things were really going on. After all, hadn't Rose just been chased back into the kitchen by Pyrope like a good little pupbeast? If she couldn't get out of chores she wasn't near as good as a manipul8tor as she thought she was. Of course, Vriska had suspected that all along. From the beginning, even! Yes, she was quite sure she had always thought that from the very first moment she saw John's psychoanalyzing talk-friend. She had assumed Rose was his auspistice at first. He with Strider, she had assumed, and it was clear she was terrible if that was the way John and Dave got on. At least, that was what Vriska thought until she came to understand how humans actually behaved toward one another. Slotting Rose "back" into that auspistice suited Vriska just fine. Then she'd be one step away from John and Tavros too. It all worked out in the end! It was p8rfect. Heck, Rose and Eridan might actually be good partners. But what the hell did she care?

All she had to do was to find a moirail and to supplicate in front of the tin can. Easy peasey. Oh, the apology was probably Rose's best move. She knew Vriska would never show weakness in front of another Troll, even a stupid floaty dead one. But Vriska thought differently about it. That was her greatest strength: to be thinking how no one exp8ted her to be thinking! After all, apologizing might be weakness but apologizing to someone who killed you? Talk about rubbing it in their face! It would be the ultimate insult. Passive-aggression was the best thing the Humans had ever invented. Vriska loved it. Maybe the robot wouldn't get it but everyone else would.

All she had to do was to actually say it.

"So, Spinneret and Rufio meet when Spinneret comes to The Land of Never Getting Any Older looking for treasure and they both end up in a fight with the evil Troll Captain Hooken."

Oh gog, Tavros was actually going to do it. He was actually going to summarize the whole damn book to Fishbutt. Vriska scooted her chair further away and curled up tighter around the back as she tried to pretend she wasn't staring holes into Aradia's back. She had tried and tried to get Eridan to piss off about reading the book, but he had never backed down. Good! Vriska didn't want him to back down, like the stupid weenie he had been when she had turned down a sweep ago. But Tavros was another problem. She cast a look in their direction to see Eridan leaning in just a bit closer to Tavros than personal space should have allowed. Didn't he have any sense of common decency? His temple was almost resting against Toreadork's stupid right horn, gogdammit.

"So what does Rufio look like?"

"Oh, I dunno. He's young, he's got a lot of strong muscles and Spinneret says he's handsome to boost his confidence sometimes but he really doesn't think so. But that's okay, because he, uh, he's got all the confidence most of the time."

"So he's a lot like you?"

Vriska gagged, and then gagged again just for good measure, and scooted further away as Tavros began to mumble something embarrassed in his usual chocolate tone. Vriska didn't want to fight Tavros. A while back she had thought she did but now she guessed she had shifted red on him after he had, well... what with the moulting. She felt guilty admitting it to herself, but it wasn't like she was about to say it out loud, considering the circumstances. Of course she had been pissed when he came in a few days ago with the Abbreviated Suffix's arm around his back, what with him already entangled in Gamzee's motherfucking web of diamond miracles, but she had calmed down now. Everything was going to be all right. Besides, it was just the roleplaying getting to her head. She knew that. Who cared what Spinneret felt about Rufio? Beyond for narrative reasons, of course.

Vriska stopped scooting away in spite of her better judgment. After all, they were giving her plenty of excuses, Tavros was trying to set his hand to Eridan's leg and jumped back whenever one of them would shift their weight. Vriska had to stop because she had come up on Sweatquius's robot shit (yes, she was definitely going to roll with "Sweatquius" the next time she saw him). That put her far too close to Aradia, who was typing at her computer. Vriska bit the inside of her cheek. _Well, go on,_ she thought. _Big eyes, wavering tone, tell her you're soooooooo sorry, should never have done it, that you hope you can just talk about and then everything will be..._

"Look, I think you've gotten the coding basics," Sollux was saying. Gosh, it sure was hard to focus on Aradia with all these people talking nearby. "So maybe you should actually program a little something, say a high/low number guessing game, or really... anything that isn't staring at ED and TR like your heart's going to jump out of your chest."

Feferi seemed to curl up along with her smile. "Oh, Sollux, I'm sorry. It's just that Eridan's SO )(APPY!! But you're right. You're right. He's my ex, he's none of my concern. But he's happy and he's not murderous and I didn't even have to cull him! Don't you see?" The conversation aside, Feferi actually did turn back to the computer to begin to type. "All in a loop, right?"

"Yes, it's called the 'main game loop'. If you're so concerned about how angry he gets, why is this the first I've heard of it?"

"Uh, gross?" Feferi shot him the kind of un-offended glare couples shared. "What, I'm supposed to keep being his moirail behind his back until he's treading water on his own? That's just creepy, Sollux." To her screen she asked: "Is between one and one hun... heh, _two_ hundred fine?"

Sollux replied by leaning over and kissing Feferi just behind the fin. "I'm not saying you should have been some kind of creepy stalker. I know you were fed up with his shit, that's cool. It's just... if you cared so much... I'm just surprised that you've never shown it."

Even Vriska thought that sentiment of his was weird, and she was glad when Feferi smacked him down for it. "What, and carp after him in the middle of the night? Wow, Sollux, first you tell me you're worried I'm gonna screw things up with Aradia and now you're fantasizing me going after Eridan!" She leaned in and touched her forehead to his, but Vriska had the best hearing (the best!) and it wasn't hard to follow them. "Sollux, are we going to have to roleplay this little cheating thing of yours when we're grown up?"

"You're disgusting," he said, and she kissed him. Vriska, finding this no more tolerable than her previous lot, turned back to her previous lot to discover that Tavros' hand had found a welcome berth nestled just under Eridan's. His voice had lowered from its previous excitement to a sleepy, happy murmur. _Fucking dammit,_ Vriska thought. _I'm trapped!_

"I'm just saying," Sollux continued as he parted from Feferi. "When KK was all flipping the fuck out about..." he glanced over his shoulder, specifically at John. John was still deep in conversation with Dave but still far too close, and so Sollux said instead: "...the Humans." Feferi nodded understanding. "Well, I talked to you about it, didn't I? It was on my mind. It's okay if you don't want to talk to me but this just seems out of the blue."

"Sollux," she replied, typing again. "What you and Karkat call your moirallegiance is your own business but I think him not... you know... makes way more sense than me pining over Eridan after we broke up. I'm not following you."

"What?" Sollux bristled. "FF, I wouldn't be interested in KK's fucking temper tantrums if he was the last angry Troll on this rock."

"Exactly!" Feferi replied. "That's why you keep him down for us!"

"Really, Captor," Vriska said, finding her voice at last. "It's totally obvious, don't be an ass about it."

"FF," Sollux said, determined in both conviction and his desire to cut Vriska out of the conversation. "KK ii2n't my moiiraiil. he'2 my be2t friiend!"

A look passed over Feferi's face, one of surprise disgust, which she shoved aside decisively and almost at once. It clung to Vriska's face instead, and she showed no care whatsoever in removing it. "Sollux!" she hissed. "...Poor Karkat!"

"What?"

Sollux was not the only one confused. Aradia glanced up as well, but only for a split second. If Vriska had not been watching her out of the corner of her eye, just for curiosity's sake, of course, she would have missed it.

"He's done so much for us and you're just... leading him on like this? I mean, if anyone deserves a moirail! When he was rambling about having a pity and a hate even after Terezi showed up, I thought the pity was, you know, _you_."

Sollux raised his palms defensively. "FF, being friends was his idea! I don't know who the hell he was talking about, I figured he was just being an ass. Maybe he's dating... uh..." Sollux's faulty memory of the Human's names showed again, and all he could manage was: "...the green one, for all I care. That's one of the nice things about being friends. We don't have to talk about shit if we don't wanna." Her face began to screw up again and so Sollux added another sentiment: "That's how we _like it_."

Feferi swallowed, hard. "Well... if that's how you want it." Vriska was almost aghast. Was that it? Was that all she was going to put him through? "B-but if you ever want to find an actual moirail you know I'll—"

"I know," he said, and patted her hand. "You're the organizational queen."

Feferi nodded with a forced smile and stood up. "I'm gonna... get a drink. Do you mind?"

"Nah, it's okay. See you in a bit."

Feferi scuffled off, faster than she had probably intended, and Sollux watched her leave with a silent groan. He tried to ignore Vriska as he turned back to his computer but she would have nothing of it.

"You are so gross." Vriska could not help it. Her disturbed look from before was easily replaced by a crawling smile.

"Shut the fuck up," he muttered to his computer screen.

"I mean, you've got someone in your life that you care about and you aren't willing to offer them shit! Not even I'm that bad!"

"The Humans do it just fine," Sollux replied, though he was obviously expecting and dreading her counterattack.

"Yeah, the Humans," Vriska said, raising herself up from her slump over the back of her chair. She scooted towards him and the obvious opening he had provided. "With their own standards and their own rules, which they're not _completely ignoring_ like  some8ody else I know. Oh hmm... who was th8t? Oh right! Karkat!"

She reached out to poke him in the cheek with one of her new claws and he swatted her away. "Or maybe you're just both ready to be The Other Guy, constantly cheatin' on everybody else. Holy cr8p! I _am_ better than you. Wow, Captor. It's not like I was raising the bar very high, I realize. I've been trying." She clasped a hand to her heart and tried to look pious, but it was so very, very hard. " _I've_ grown up a bit. Just..." Vriska risked a glance over her shoulder, as Sollux was obviously not looking her way. Nothing. She was not getting a rise out of either Eridan or Tavros. "...just wow."

Sollux cracked an angry grin. "You know, I was just thinking how sad it's gonna be when I bust down your door one day with a bucket in each hand and you won't have anything for me either way."

"Of course not!" Vriska shot back. "You're hogging all the partners!"

Sollux's grin vanished and he returned to his coding with a fuming energy, and Vriska returned to the storytelling cuddlers in hope that they might have given her a chance to cut in this time. No luck.

"So what's the point of this crown?"

"Well," Tavros said, "it's the one true crown of the Elves, and if they get it back the Elf Prince will have some real symbolic support from the lords."

Eridan peered closer at the screen to read one of Vriska and Tavros' smaller font comments in the margins. "So is it underwater because it's from the ocean or, say, some ocean dwellers?"

"No, uh, a ship sunk."

"Aw."

 _Holy crap._ Vriska couldn't believe it. _He's actually paying attention to the story._ That was unexpected. She supposed it was all right if Eridan liked the book so long as he was still willing to hate her (in fact, she found the idea of fans appealing). But if he ended up insisting on being a part of it she'd rip him a new one. How else was she going to find enough time with Tavros to— Tavros turned his head slightly and kissed Eridan's cheek. Eridan replied with a gentle squeeze of Tavros' hand, a mutual confidence Vriska found alien and disturbing from the both of them. It was a bit too much at once, and she decided to turn her mind back to the real issue at hand: apologizing to the rotting junk Equius had stuffed into the trash can.

"Hey..." she started.

But no one was listening. When she turned back she found Aradia and Sollux still facing their computers, he hunched over and she plugged in, as though nothing in particular was going on. But when Vriska looked closer she saw Sollux's right hand hidden just under the desks, where Aradia had reached out to take it. His expression was haggard, shaken, but he seemed to strengthen as she squeezed his hand tight. When he straightened up, his look replaced with a neutral, Trollish determination, and they parted mutually. Vriska's introduction caught in her throat and she stood up instead.

"That's it, I'm getting away from this mushy crap."

"Up yours, Vris," Eridan said with a sleepy wave of his free hand.

"Shut it, wiggler." He didn't know what she was talking about anyways. Vriska decided against talking to John, though she had given it careful thought. John was loads of fun! Sometimes he was a little _too_ fun, and she'd get ideas and would creep over towards him with a leading grin just to see how he'd react. Unfortunately, his reaction was either to ignore her or an equally infuriating scramble in the opposite direction. Even him. Shit, what was it about her that attracted all of these oily, panicky grubs when things got down to the line? When he had come to talk to her about Tavros and Eridan the other day, he had been a grown-up John, and had taken her totally be surprise. She'd like to talk to him again, now that he had calmed down. But the John talking to Dave was talking about someone named Adam Sandler, and Dave was never fun, so fuck 'em. Vriska decided instead to check out whatever remained of Rose, Gamzee and Terezi's mystery kitchen mess, before they mopped it away forever.

The sound of what could, to deaf ears, be called 'singing' greeted her as she went. "HeRe wE Go a mOp-mOp, HeRe wE Go a mOpPiIiInG..." Gamzee looked up at Vriska as she passed him in the hall. "Wassup, Spider-Man?"

"...N-nothing," Vriska said at last, recovering her momentum after a cautionary step aside, and Gamzee returned to his vacuum.

Vriska continued her deep thinking as she walked. She figured she could get back to her apology as soon as she got back. Maybe doing it would even clear out that lump in her throat that had been hanging there after seeing Aradia clutch Sollux's hand. To be honest, that lump was nothing new and she'd be glad to be rid of it. It had been there for perigrees now, and just swelled from time to time. She had first felt it when she had realized Aradia couldn't be mad at her for killing her, what with her being dead and all. That had not exactly occurred to Vriska at the time. After all, she had never known anyone else she had killed, and it hadn't really occurred to her that they would stop _being there_ after the fact. After all, what was the fun of gloating if no one was listening? But now she could gloat, couldn't she? That was the kind of out-of-the-box thinking that had gotten Vriska to Level 99 so much sooner than all the other Trolls. She had wished there could have been a way to go higher than that, perhaps by ascending to some form of new existence with wings, perhaps? But no, the game didn't do that. She had double checked like, four times. She supposed the Dream body Aradia had put her in was nice enough. She could float now, at least. It didn't really interest her all that often, but she could if she wanted to. That was something, right? And she was getting through her moult like it was nothing at all!

Hell, apologizing didn't strike Vriska as a problem at all any more! Aradia might have killed her, but all it had done was get her past perigrees of stupid moulting in exchange for twelve minutes of dizzying blood loss and a peculiar falling sensation that got worse when she started having trouble breathing. Oh, and the feel of a rib about three inches out of place. And that was over now! Vriska was not actually sure if that was worse than moulting, but the point was that Aradia had saved her from doing _both_. Heck, everything was turning out  gr8!

The kitchen and cafeteria just made things better, in Vriska's mind. "Oh... my..." There was toast on the ceiling. Vriska was not sure what impressed her more: that it was there at all or that they had cleaned around it and left it on its own, perhaps having not noticed it at all.

A whirl of brown interrupted her tour, and Vriska snapped up a hand to catch a broom handle headed toward her throat. "H3Y S3RK3T" Terezi greeted, before she yanked the handle free in a single pull.

"What in hell did you three do to this place?" Vriska asked, unperturbed. It wasn't all that bad. It wasn't like they had smeared paint all over the place like she would have expected from Pyrope. There just happened to be a few spectacular stand-outs, like the jam wall or the fourth table from the right. Vriska caught sight of Rose over the counter that divided the cafeteria from the kitchen, where she actually was mopping.

"We cut loose a bit after a bad day," Terezi responded. As she answered, she began to brush the clump of dust and debris she had gathered intentionally in Vriska's direction. Vriska tired to pretend not to notice and headed up to the counter a step ahead. "NOT TH4T YOU'D KNOW 4NYTH1NG 4BOUT TH4T"

Vriska chose to ignore the quip and instead admired a clown cartoon drawn on the wall entirely out of ketchup (which she suspected might have predated the rest of the party). There, she caught sight of Feferi fussing about in the fridge. Rose and Terezi were exchanging some story from the night before and laughing, but Vriska's mind got to work. After all, she was nothing if not able to hit the right nerve! When the other girls waved to Feferi as she left, Vriska positioned herself by the entrance to the kitchen from the cafeteria.

"What's the matter, Princess?" she whispered.

Feferi looked up, surprised, as she had cleared her head and nothing was the matter at all. Fortunately, Vriska knew that strange things make catchy openings. Vriska continued, gesturing to the girls, but only slightly. She wouldn't want Feferi to miss the point.

"They're just a few _pals_ having a friendly chat."

Feferi's eyes widened when she realized what Vriska was getting at to and punched her in the arm before turning her nose up and leaving the room as regally as she could manage. That got the attention in the room back on Vriska. Just as planned.

"What was that?" asked Rose.

"Trouble in paradise again," Vriska said with a smile. "Of course, with Sollux, I guess everything happens in twos."

"What happened?" Terezi asked. Vriska was surprised about the way she said it, almost vulnerable. Guilt?

"Oh, she's just pissed off because Sollux is friends with Karkat." Vriska leaned on the counter. "Like I give a shit." And she didn't.

Well, at least not about Sollux and Karkat. True, when she had been moirails with Terezi, Terezi's four sweep-long friendship with Karkat had driven her insane. What was her moirail doing all the time with that nubby-horned loudmouth? Wasn't she good enough for her? She'd _make_ herself good enough for her. After the fact, when Vriska would talk about it to Kanaya or Tavros and finally to John, Vriska would wonder if maybe her ego had been the problem. But after she had seen Tavros at the end of his date with Eridan, the betrayal skipped right over her _ego_. "Rose, you pass me a coke?"

Rose hid the surprise she had obviously felt at the news and set on a glare. "I'm not your bartender."

"Pfft, Feferi didn't know about Sollux and Karkat?" Terezi had given up on sweeping trash on Vriska's feet and had moved on to the rest of the room. "That's like the first thing you learn about Karkat: when he gets upset he goes off crying and hugs Sollux's legs."

"And that never bothered you?" Vriska asked.

Terezi shrugged. "We were kids! I guess I figured he'd come for me one day. That's what a matesprit's for, right? I trusted him." Terezi turned back to her work, but Vriska caught her mumbling: "That certainly went well." Catching the scent of her own weakness, Terezi snapped back to alert. "Vriska, do you have a _reason_ for being here?"

"I just said!" Vriska said defensively. She got to her feet and headed to the fridge. "I'm getting a coke." Or a six-times alchemized variant of two month old Faygo. Whichever.

While Vriska was in back, she caught a jumble of voices and, when she returned, she found Kanaya in the cafeteria as well. Her ex-moirail was a grooming mess, still suffering from lack of sleep, but she was aglow with a smile on her face like Vriska had never seen. To be fair, before the game they had only met in person from time to time, but Kanaya had always worn a look of frustration more or less from meeting to parting.

Vriska's mind screwed up at the sight of her. She wanted to talk to her, after what Rose had said the other night, but she knew she would not get the shot. Vriska honestly had not known that Kanaya had dumped her. Maybe... well maybes weren't worth the time they took to ponder, that was clear. Besides, the reason for the smile was obvious and held Kanaya by the arm. Rose: it must have finally happened. Vriska didn't know whether to feel happy or frustrated any more. She hadn't even known about Kanaya's crush before the Humans entered the veil. Maybe that should have been a clue that they had drifted apart.

"Karkat says I'm free to go," Rose explained to Vriska with a smile. Kanaya saw Vriska and pressed her lips together in a faded version of the previous smile, and only nodded in greeting.

"AND TH3 W4RD3N 4GR33S!" Terezi symbolically turned her empty fist at Rose's wrists as though undoing her handcuffs. "Considering you cleaned whatever was in those sinks without knowing if it would melt off your hands."

"It was a clear and present danger, ma'am," Rose replied.

"Besides, The Warden has to agree with Karkat, since she had to 'borrow' his broom to do this job. Good work, soldier!" Terezi concluded, and then began to aggressively sweep at her. "Get! Get! Go 'way!"

The couple fled, leaving Vriska and Terezi alone with Gamzee, who had also arrived to join the chat and now smiled broadly at Vriska without pause or explanation. The unnerved feeling this gave her only intensified over time and so she picked up her pace to leave as soon as possible. Conversation wafted after her, but when it turned interesting, Vriska stalled in the hall, out of sight.

Terezi whispered something first and Gamzee replied at full volume, obviously not clueing in to Terezi's hint that Vriska might still be in hearing distance. "Yeah, he's pretty much my best motherfuckin' friend."

Terezi muttered something (Vriska thought it might have been "...Lucky Karkat" and stepped back a touch). Luckily, Terezi seemed to decide that Vriska was far enough away to speak normally after that. That was when she really seized Vriska's attention: "Gamzee," she said, her elbows on the counter. "This is gonna seem a bit forward, but hear out a poor blind girl, would ya?"

"Whatever you fuckin' want, chica."

"Look," Terezi said, after Vriska had shifted partway into what shadows the corridor provided. "I don't know what you've heard but I know you know Dave and I had a fight."

"Fuck, you were so damn loud I think Jack knows you had a fight."

"H3H3H3... Maybe I scared him?" It was her old evil laugh, at first, but what followed was a different tone. Unconfident, sad, hopeless. A thousand years ago, when they were moirails, that might have worried Vriska (well, maybe. Vriska wasn't entirely sure her past self would have noticed, at all). After they had broken up, she'd have jumped to hear her like this. Now she didn't know how to feel.

"I just..." Terezi said. "I feel real stupid right now, Gamzee."

"S'no problem."

"I know we just sort of started hanging out but... ugh."

"...Fuck, Prosecutor." Vriska stopped her cautious approach at once. Gamzee's voice was suddenly, though not entirely, clear and focused. "if you don't start selling yourself i don't see any point in listening."

But the strangest part was Terezi's _lack_ of reaction, except a tiny, playful giggle. Normally, Terezi only giggled as a warning. It was almost as though she had _expected_ Gamzee to sound like that. When she spoke again it was with a wavering confidence, which only made Vriska more confused. "...I wanted to know if you're actually interested in me, or if... this is like... with Karkat, to you."

A laugh, a snort, and Gamzee's reply came back clear as day: "fUcK, tHaT's A hEaVy LoAd, PrOsEcUtRiX."

 _What..._ Vriska took two steps back this time, her cola forgotten entirely.

Gamzee went on: "I mean, don't I get some time or some shit? Isn't that the idea or—"

"N-no, wait." Terezi said, getting back to her feet by the sound of it. "Forget it. Forget I said anything. I'm in a weird place right now and... you're right!" Sweeping. "I just keep digging myself in. Rose gets to be happy. And that's great for her, but I can't be happy for her because I can't help but think that... everybody's gonna..."

Silence. Vriska shuffled even further back, far enough that she was able to see through the corner of wall separating her from the cafeteria with her vision eightfold. Beyond, she saw that Gamzee had walked about the counter to stand just a few steps from Terezi, where she had stopped working to sit on the edge of a table.

"I don't even feel like _myself_! I mean, when was the last time I grilled somebody over the coals? I tried and all I did was piss off Feferi and Sollux and Rose... and I told Rose that I'd..." She groaned. "I told her I'd try to respect Human ideas. Like friendship. _Fuck_. Gamzee, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have even asked. Look at me, I'm a mess."

"Hey, hey," he said, and stepped forward to offer a hug, which she took even though it ended up leaving a smudge of white paint on the rim of her glasses. "We can still fix that. We'Ve gOt LoTs oF fUcKiNg KeTcHuP."

Terezi laughed. "I think I can do without ketchup for now."

"Do you..." Gamzee held his hands in right angles, up by the side of his head. "Do you want to go get my bro Tavros, and hang scalemates from his horns?"

Terezi's smile grew almost as broad as her eyes lit up bright. "...Yes. ... H3H3H3H3H3... Y3S 1 DO!"

But that was all Vriska got to hear, because just then the sounds that had been coming from the main lab built to a terrible crescendo. It was a horrible sound, born from the uttermost depths of paradox space, and wracked her very soul. For a moment, Vriska was certain she was going to die. The transportalizer was the only way out. She would have to run _towards_ the source of the noise to survive. The sound would be with her every second of the way.

"♪ SQUIDDLE DEE DEE! SQUIDDLE DEE DUM! EVERYONE SING! A SQUIDDLEY SONG! ♪"

Oh good gog. Some of them are actually watching the abomination. _Don't go back, Vriska,_ she thought, positive that in a real emergency she honestly would. _They are already lost._

Vriska emerged in the hub room and ran almost straight into Strider.

"W-what..." Vriska tried to bury her stammer. _Don't let the coolkid see you bleed!_ "Was that?"

"Hey Serket," he said, almost calm. "'Sup? Enjoying the Squiddles?" Vriska realized that the 'almost' in his calm came from the fact that he had to shout to communicate it. Regaining her perception, Vriska realized that in escaping the horrible cartoon, she had run head-first into another of Sweatquius and his Tin Can's Spade-fights. Fantastic. _At least I've found Aradia again,_ Vriska thought. All she had to do was wait for the others to leave the two of them alone and them... bam! The perfect apology. She was back on track.

"This entire façade of yours goes against every common deCENTcy. Every custom of over a thousand years of tradition!" Of course, getting Equius to leave Aradia alone might take a while. "That you thought I wouldn't see through it at all just shows how little respect you have for me. And how little you deserve mine."

Aradia, it seemed, wasn't even going to dignify him by meeting his eyes. "Yes, goodness knows my r0b0t brain can't outdo a STRONGthought! I thought you might have had a bit of a buried sense of humour about this, but..."

"Humour?" Equius grabbed Aradia by the arm and, despite the clear weight of her body, yanked her not only off her feet but straight into his own body. He didn't even falter, except from where Aradia had deliberately slammed her palm into his shoulder as she landed. "The only humour in this is how, after the cosmic miracle of creatures from two universes coming together to form a new great society, lowb100ds still choose to mate with the low."

Aradia's fist went straight for his jaw, but he caught her and got a knee to his gut instead. Even that only managed to eke a merciless smile onto his face in lieu of pain. Aradia's eyes shone red at Equius, more consistently than Vriska had ever seen even in casual observation, and she assumed she was holding them there to make a point. "I haven't been breeding with him any more than you, but believe me that he'd deserve it a _lot_ more."

It occurred to Vriska that just maybe the bleachers might be just as interesting to watch as the field. Dave was pacing. "Oh please God don't be breeding with him," he was saying under his breath. When he turned back, Vriska found that Aradia and Equius were kissing.

Equius still had the upper hand, with both of her arms held firm and a smile still playing on his lips where they met hers. It was disconcerting in a way, the hating joy he had in their game. Vriska realized to her intense discomfort that Equius' triumph was capped in how, for once, he was not sweating at all. Dave looked worse now that he had seen them kissing, a tinge of green on his face past the cool shades.

"Dating the robot?" Vriska asked at last.

"I... yeah," Dave said, with an uncharacteristic falter, barely keeping the presence of self he'd need to not look away. Aradia suddenly twisted her arm free and slammed it hard into Equius' ribs. This time he buckled and she grabbed his head and yanked him back up into another kiss. With her in the active role (and Equius once again sweating), Dave finally had to look away.

Vriska waited for just the right amount of time to pass. "...how's the chafing?"

She got a backhanded smack on the shoulder for that, and all Dave got was a laugh in his face. Dave began to pace a short circle about Terezi's transportalizer before returning to Vriska's side. Aradia had broken away from Equius and was continuing her argument with him. She did so while pinning him down to his knees by the shoulder. Dave gave a grunt. "Are they always this... violent?"

"Kismeses?" Vriska asked. "Nah." Equius made some sort of joke insinuating that without him, Aradia wouldn't even be up to Dave's level, which she took with coolkid calm until he started laughing at her for it, and earned himself a smack across the cheek. "Those two, on the other hand...?"

A sigh from behind her drew Vriska's attention, and discovered that the sound of metal against Troll cheek had outright muffled the arrival of Feferi through the central transportalizer. "Hi," Feferi said distantly when she realized Vriska and Dave had looked her way.

"Hey princess," Vriska said. "Left the sing-song cartoon show to come to see Strider's breakfast all over again?"

"You don't know what you're talking about, Serket," Dave said. "Even if I was sick I'd be smoother than that."

"Huh?" Feferi actually bothered to look up at them as she spoke this time. "Oh, no. Jade's show's really INT-ER--ESTING! I was just going to get some pictures of my cephalopods to show them. Are you okay, Dave?"

"Just fuckin' dandy."

"Princess!" Equius appeared to have noticed the new arrival. "I-I apologize for this public display, my kismesis and I will remove our disagreement to a more suitable—"

Feferi waved him down. "It's all right, Equius, I'm just... just heading out."

"Prin—Feferi, wait." Aradia walked over, though she stopped part-way to throw Dave a sheepish look. The look faded when she saw the uncomfortable look on his face, and she held out an apologetic hand. He took it with a tug that seemed to pull her back to confidence, though Vriska, always aware (always!) couldn't help but notice that Dave was not so instantly forgiving a person.

Feferi looked up at Aradia with what almost looked like fear tickling on the edges of her face. "Look," Aradia said. "I realize that the situation has not exactly been ideal, what with... Terezi and Karkat and all, but if you have something you want to say to me, I'd appreciate it if you would just come out and say it and take it off both our shoulders. Perhaps if the peanut gallery would clear out." She looked directly at Vriska, who just smirked and stood her ground.

"Ugh, Aradia, I'm sorry," Feferi said. "I know I've been following you like a shark, but it just hasn't been the right time, what with Eridan and Tavros, and then Rose and Kanaya..."

Aradia's eyes shifted blue and she hung her head just slightly. "So this is about relationships."

Feferi half-smiled. "Sollux used to always talk about you and how you used to be. When you came back to your old self I thought... well maybe it was your time to—"

"Ugh..." Aradia interrupted, her eyes an odd shade of puce. "And it _is_ about me and Sollux. Fef—"

"Noooo! Ugh, you GUYS!" Feferi's tiny fists balled up and shook before she began to pace a small circle of her own. "You're all neck-deep in all your _melodrama_! I _asked_ Sollux if he wanted to ask you out somehow again and he said no and that was _it!_ " Her speech was rapid, her pacing fast, but to Vriska it was somehow familiar. As Feferi was getting closer to saying what she wanted to say, she was rapidly mounting in her old, vibrant self-confidence. "If I have to be the only grown-up on this entire rock than I will DO IT!!!" Her trident appeared her hand as she slammed down her right fist, chipping the floor below.

She spun back to them, and besides the way she held one arm in the other with the trident now suddenly behind her back, she was otherwise pert and direct. "Aradia," she said with a nod. "Equius," she added, which Equius took with some surprise. "Karkat was right. Hatred and Pity together are a part of Troll pride and I think the way you two can keep hating one another without tearing apart the team is just WOND-ERFUL! But after what happened between Vriska and Eridan and Rose in the lab I realized that... well, sometimes everybody needs some help." She flashed a nervous grin. "So I was hoping that maybe you might... glub to me if you ever need an auspistice. ...That's all."

Aradia's surprise was evident even on her metal frame, and Equius' audible in how he spat out an urgent, overwhelmed response to the fushia-blood asking to do _him_ a favour. "Y-yes!" it sounded like.

"Ugh, Equius..." Aradia started.

"Equius!" Feferi moaned. "I knew what _you'd_ say! If I wanted to ask you—"

Aradia picked it up from there: "...She'd have asked you days ago!" She and Feferi met one another's eyes and Feferi started to laugh. Aradia gave her a moment and with a slight curtsy, replied, "I'd be honoured, princess. Thank you for being... direct, in the end."

"Ugh!" Feferi said, and rapped Aradia's legs with her trident. "What did I just say about bowing? Now! Excuse me..."

Feferi then went on to ask Dave a few teasing questions about his and Aradia's relationship, filling the role of a jealous Human parent fairly well. The chance to exchange insults and wordplay brightened Dave's mood considerably, though he still seemed a touch annoyed, but that was normal for Strider. This in turn brightened Aradia's mood, as she had been more than aware of how eager he had been to leave prior. Equius just sat there with a dumb grin on his face. Vriska felt differently.

 _What the hell? What the hell!_ She supposed she could sympathize with Feferi. After all, Feferi had stalled her proposal until the last minute to avoid tripping over some other new relationship's thunder, and in a better mood Vriska might have respected her for playing her cards even when things weren't ideal and still winning the pot. But it was hard to sympathise at the moment, considering Feferi had done it at the cost of her own thunder. Her perfect apology, ruined! _Bullshit!_ And that was just the surface of the iceberg. Standing there, listening to Aradia, was all just reminding her of exactly who she was dealing with. The girl that had tortured her with ghosts. The girl that had killed her. Seeing her happy. What on earth was she doing standing here waiting to _apologize_ to _her_?

Dave excused himself, whispering something to Aradia about his "shift," but when he was gone Vriska discovered that attention had suddenly shifted to her.

"So," said Aradia. "Now if I could just get rid of my second mystery stalker, things will be just fine."

"What, moi?" Vriska asked, mangling the French in a way no speaker on Earth had ever managed. She didn't like the robot's tone. Where did she get off with that kind of backtalk? Just because she was happy. Lucky bitch didn't know how hard it was to even _be_ happy. After all... "Oh, don't mind me. Rose wanted me to apologize to you, for the whole me killing you thing. That's all. She said you were a 'threat to the kismesis' but guess what? _Fuck_ that!"

She stepped forward and jabbed Aradia in the chest with one of her claws. "You were always a parasite, Megido. Leeching off of other people. I made you a better FLARP player while you were still cheating off of dead people. Getting other people to fight your battles. Now you're on your feet and I have to apologize to _you_? Fuck you, and fuck Rose! You should be _thanking ME_!"

It was too late to stop now, because Aradia rounded on Vriska in turn. More irritating than anything was the way she did it. Perhaps it was the robotics, or perhaps Aradia really was that calm these days, but she did not raise her volume or react to Vriska's prod. Vriska had been expecting a lunge, at least, but nothing came. "Thank you? Are you insane? Don't think I haven't had my eye on you lately! You're declawed, Vriska, thank goodness. And if you're enjoying it you should be thanking _me_."

"Uh..." Equius looked back and forth between the two. "Princess?"

Feferi had raised her trident, but she had stalled midway into her new auspistice duties. "I see them, Equius. It's just..."

Aradia continued her counterattack: "When you were laughing your way through Tavros' broken legs I shoved so much guilt into that I'd bet you'd feel it today. You sure act like it, the way you coddle him! And when you didn't learn I served you again, didn't I? Now look at you. Crawling up to do Rose favours, hiding off with John just because someone beats you to a matesprit. If the old Vriska had been here there'd be bodies and I swear John and Karkat would make sure one of them'd be yours."

Vriska snarled back at her. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

"Don't be an idiot, Vriska, you're only alive because I killed you!"

Feferi outright lowered her trident. "Just listen to them, Equius. This isn't a... hated argument."

"And you," Vriska said, not at all listening to the aquatic Troll to her side. "You wouldn't even _be here_ if I hadn't gotten bored of everyone bitching about you being gone. If it wasn't for _me_ you'd still be floating about, helpless and pathetic!"

And then, just as that last word slipped out Vriska gasped and clapped a hand to her mouth before she could say any more. Her eyes were wide as she caught up with what she was saying, what Aradia was saying, and what Feferi had only hinted at. No. _No._ Had Aradia realized? _No no no no no no no no._ Vriska had no way of knowing what the robot was thinking: if Aradia chose not to show her emotions they would not show. Was it possible she had always known? Vriska could barely even say it out loud. "Oh my gog," she tried, but had no breath. She tried again. "Oh my gog... You... _You PITY me!_ "

Aradia was almost certainly hiding her emotions, for her only response was a blink and a quiet: "...Oh no."

"You _do_! Holy shit. Holy _shit!_ Aradia!" Vriska could not believe it. There was not other explanation! Even though she had been in a moirallegiance with Terezi at the time, this little wriggler had been the one to actually do the work. She had been trying to cut her off from Tavros, from finishing the job. She was always there. It was so clear now. It was disgusting. It was too much.

 _  
...It.   
_

_  
Was.   
_

_  
Perfect!!   
_

_Stay calm, Vriska,_ she thought. _Hold your face._ She tried to mold her shock into a part-smile. "Y-you," _Oh, yes, a trembling voice. The tremble is a wonderful touch!_ "you killed me to _stop me from killing people any more!_ "

Aradia reached up to pinch the bridge of her nose and just said "Oh no..." a second time.

"You did!" Vriska insisted, eyes unintentionally wild as she stepped towards Aradia. Feferi and Equius gave her a wide berth. "And I've been trying to get you back to normal for so long..." She held her hands up to her chest and brought out the big, pupbeast eyes she had been preparing for her now-forgotten apology. Her voice quivered perfectly, her smile widened with joy and it was all she could do to keep from laughing past her theatre in glee at how _wonderful_ this was. "We've been moirails... _all along_!"

"I..." Aradia was flabberghasted. Vriska could barely contain herself. Had she overcome the computer. "I guess... wow. You're right. My... _Oh my g_ —"

Before Aradia could say another word of protest, Vriska threw her arms around her neck and hugged her tight, muttering Pale platitudes like "Now I'll never senselessly kill again" and classic lines like "Pity means always having to say you're sorry before you stab someone in the poison removal organ, splattering toxic liquid inside of their abdomen." Troll Flavor Flav said that. Vriska is absolutely positive.

Last of all, Vriska held her bewildered new moirail at arm's length and said: "Happy Full Quadrants, Aradia! It couldn't have happened to a better dead, robotic Troll that I helped create." And then she left before anyone could stop her. She just left them up in her wake, and no one protested, least of all, best of all Aradia. And none of them caught smirk that worked its way onto her face. _Get a Level 99 Moirail: Complete. Remove Aradia as a Caliginous Threat:_

 _Circumvented._

* * *

"Where the fuck are we going, spiderbitch?" Eridan asked as he tried to free his horn from Vriska's grasp. Vriska had not stopped grinning since she came for him, and it was throwing him just as much off-balance as she had hoped.

"Yoooooooou'll see," Vriska replied before tossing him onto the lab's transportalizer. The hub was empty save for him when she arrived. Vriska had left quickly after her proclaimation to Aradia, and she had hid out until Jade's program was over and everyone was tucked away in bed. Feferi shot her an odd look when she left her "new moirail," but nothing was said and Vriska assumed the game was still on. _Good. Time to make tracks._

She headed over to a corner of the room to where Kanaya's transportalizer lay deactivated. It was easy to tell the difference between a transportalizer that was locked or not: a few lights were embedded in a sigil pattern on the pad. When they were out, the pad was locked, but that wasn't an obstacle. She stamped her foot down on the pad and lights began to flash intermittently.

"Hey," she said towards the transportalizer. "Someone tell my FLARP server that her quests are done and done!"

The lights went off and then, after a fair pause, went on in full. Vriska grinned to Eridan and gestured that he lead, which out of curiosity he did without question. When Vriska followed she found herself, for the first time, in the strange waiting room that fronted Kanaya's temporary hive. The door across from them slid open and both Rose and Kanaya stepped through. They were holding half-finished knitting in their hands, complete with plastic needles. Vriska was consciously aware marked Rose as armed, but she wasn't scared. Not Vriska Serket. Not while she was _winning._

"What's this about, Vriska?" Rose asked. "You can't possibly be done already."

"Shows you!" Vriska said. "Because I am!"

"You found a moirail?" Rose asked. It seemed from her tone that this was the part she might have just maybe expected. Vriska just grinned at her. "And you apologized to Aradia?"

"Didn't have to!" Vriska said. "Aradia _is_ my moirail! Can't be my kismesis if she's my moirail. Poor unrequited thing.  8ut she'll get all the pity she deserves now, I think."

"Bullshit!" Rose was pushed aside and Kanaya stepped forward. _Kanaya?_ Vriska didn't think she had ever heard her say something like that even in text. The short span of time in which she had gone from standing there to shouting was alarming on a level all its own. "You're lying," Kanaya accused. "You've never had a pitying thought in your life. I was your moirail for perigrees and what do I get out of it? Almost no 'thank you's, and certainly nothing back from you!" She clenched her knitting so hard that if it weren't for her captcha deck taking it in, she would have destroyed it. "I've never seen a more unbalanced relationship, I was just too _stupid_ to realize it! And you had the nerve to _cling_ to me all this time! Aradia saw it all; she's not stupid enough to..."

Rose reached out to take her arm but Kanaya pulled it away without even a second thought. With a snap of her wrist, a tube of lipstick appeared in her free hand. "Get out of my room!"

 _Well,_ Vriska thought. _This is not going according to plan._ Vriska and Eridan took a step back, and Vriska discovered to her surprise that she had not instantly drawn her dice. She could not believe herself. Had Aradia really gotten to her? Or was it just because it was Kanaya? "Fussyfangs..." she said as soothingly as she could manage. "...Are you moulting?"

"I think she's right, Kanaya," Rose said, taking a cautious step forward, arms raised up where Kanaya could see them should she turn around. "You're acting just like Tavros was when he had that itch on his leg, remember?" Rose put out a hand and touched Kanaya's saw arm, and her new matesprit rounded on her, though the tube of lipstick – the chainsaw – remained pointed at Vriska.

"No, maybe I'm thinking, Rose!" Kanaya snapped. Vriska waited for the fear to pop into Rose's eyes, but she didn't flinch any more than she had when the lipstick was drawn. Instead she held, whether out of courage, trust or even greater fear, Vriska did not know. "She's treated me like nothing the whole time I knew her! I know that now, I want her out, I want her hurt, I want her...!"

And she stopped, very abruptly indeed, and the lipstick vanished back into her inventory, and weakly she begged: "...Oh Rose..."

Rose's tension began to loosen, and she took her matesprit's hand. "Kan, it is just the moulting. You have nothing against Eridan, and I don't think that you really..." Rose looked up warningly at Vriska, but changed the subject. "Calm," she said. Kanaya's breathing slowed, and Rose took the opening. "Go back inside."

"I want them gone," Kanaya muttered, anger back on her voice.

"I will," Rose insisted, and she set Kanaya free.

Kanaya looked back towards the others, and a bit of her old self peeked through of her own volition. She turned first to Eridan said "...Im Sorry Eridan. Im Not Myself" To Vriska, though there was a longer pause, she said: "Im Sorry For Not Being More Clear With You"

"That's okay," Vriska said. And it was. Vriska didn't think Rose believed her, and wasn't sure if Kanaya did either, but it was. Trolls didn't bruise easily, Vriska Serket less than the rest. She even smiled. "I'm sorry I was a shit moirail."

"I'll believe it if I see it in Aradia," Kanaya said, though she spat it out all at once before she fled back into her own room.

Rose watched her leave. When she turned back to Vriska it was clear she had no idea what to say to her at all. Vriska, relaxed again, tried a generous route.

"You know," she said, "moulting's really nasty, she really didn't mean any of—"

" _Get. Out,_ " Rose snarled, pointing to the transportalizer.

"Ah ah ah!" Vriska grinned back at her. Now that there was no saw a swing from her throat, she found her old energy returning. "Our deal."

"You think I actually _believe_ you?" Rose asked, aghast.

Vriska laughed. "You should! It's true! I couldn't believe it myself!"

Rose faltered ( _Perfect_ ), and began to make her way back to the office that served as part of Kanaya's room. "I'll... check with Dave in the morning," she said.

"So we're good?" Vriska asked with a tooth smile.

"...Yes," Rose said, and shut the door behind her.

* * *

>   
> GA: Well I Suppose I Should Say That That Is Hardly The Only Reason Someone Would Become An Auspistice   
> TT: No, I figured you were just being facetious.    
> GA: In A Working Relationship One Truly Becomes A Part Of The Kismesis  
> GA: If The Arts Can Be Trusted Its Quite Unlike Any Other Feeling  
> GA: But I Wouldnt Know   
> TT: Interesting!  
> TT: Tell me, Kanaya.  
> TT: You've been talking a lot about your allies in the rebellion. I know those aren't friendships, but I have to ask...  
> TT: Do you ever miss them? Or feel bad about how it all ended?    
> GA: Im Afraid We Did Not Have Many Allies Remaining After The Princess Abandoned Her Revolution In Favour Of Attempting To Survive Sgrub  
> GA: Before Our Fifth Sweeps Were Half Over Everyone Was Gone  
> GA: Even Thats Misleading  
> GA: I Could Not Have Identified Our Regular Group Ahead Of Time  
> GA: We Are Simply The Ones That Stayed Together Through One Thread Or Another   
> TT: Not even based on your smaller circles prior to your interrupted revolution?    
> GA: No Even Those Were Sundered In Places   
> TT: What about the kismeses you auspisticed for?    
> GA: No I Do Not Feel Any Guilt Over Taxxon And Nerida In Particular  
> GA: They Were Both Dead Long Before We Started Sgrub   
> TT: Oh dear. What in the world happened? I hope they didn't go after one another.    
> GA: No They Were Never Really In Any Danger Of Turning On One Another In My Opinion   
> TT: Then what happened?    
> GA: I Killed Them   
> TT: You what?    
> GA: Well I Suppose Gamzee Killed Nerida But It Was On My Request   
> TT: You KILLED them?    
> GA: Yes   
> TT: WHY?    
> GA: Well Nerida Was Self Defence Since She Was Going To Kill Me For Killing Taxxon   
> TT: So you called in a hit.    
> GA: A Favour   
> TT: And Taxxon?    
> GA: I Dont Really Think Youd Understand   
> TT: TRY ME.    
> GA: In A Manner Of Speaking I Have Already Told You  
> GA: Auspistice Is A Black Quadrant  
> GA: While I Suppose It Is Often Occupied By A Friendly Ally It Still Requires One To Be Immersed In A Passionate Hatred  
> GA: I Never Felt Any Particular Attachment To The Two As I Have Specified  
> GA: In The End Killing Him Seemed The Only Fitting Way To Go On   
> TT: This is unbelievable. I'm not hearing this.    
> GA: I Was Not Going To Hide It From You  
> GA: I Realize This Is Not A Particularly Compatible Aspect Of Our Cultures   
> TT: Goddammit, Kanaya, are you even listening to yourself?  
> TT: I've been thinking about forming a relationship with you and you've been hiding that you're a MURDERER?  
> TT: Were there more?    
> GA: Ive Killed About Four Others  
> GA: Most About My Age   
> TT: Oh god.    
> GA: Yes That Is Why I Was Trying To Get It Out  
> GA: But You Dont Understand   
> TT: Oh this should be rich.    
> GA: No Im Not Making Excuses In Fact Im Certain This Will Only Make Things Worse   
> TT: What? Why?   
> GA: In The Name Of Mutual Cultural Understanding   
> TT: You're honestly still going on about that?    
> GA: Of Course  
> GA: I Promised That In Good Faith And Meant It  
> GA: My Past Does Not Make Me Any Less Honest No Matter What You Might Think   
> TT: All right, what?    
> GA: Im Not The Only One Whos Killed Here  
> GA: This Is Just How Trolls Are   
> TT: You mean... all of you?  
> TT: This is just a culturally accepted... THING?    
> GA: Well  
> GA: Probably Not Tavros  
> GA: But Him Aside I Feel It Very Likely That All Of My Companions Weapons Were Bloody Before They Slew Their First Imp   
> TT: Is that what you're holding up as your defence?    
> GA: Certainly Not  
> GA: My Intent Is No Different Than It Ever Was  
> GA: I Want You To Understand Even If You Dont Accept   
> TT: ...Kanaya, this is unforgivable to me, I hope you know that.  
> TT: You killed someone that trusted you.    
> GA: Ah But I Also Showed You An Answer To Your Questions   
> TT: What?    
> GA: About Auspisticeship And Friendship  
> GA: There Are Some That Might Tell You Trolls Have No Friends Because Its Promiscuous  
> GA: Perhaps It Is  
> GA: But I Think Trolls Invest Their Pity In Only Two Persons Because We Know Its Safe  
> GA: If You Spread Yourself Between Many Its So Much Easier For You To Lose Someone  
> GA: Suffering Through Constant Loss At All Turns  
> GA: If I Felt As Strongly For One Friend As Another What Happens To Me When One Dies Or Both   
> TT: Good God, Kanaya, that's the fault of the other Trolls! If you stopped them there wouldn't be a problem!    
> GA: Tell That To An Angry Troll  
> GA: When You Want Someone Hurt So Bad That Even You Cant Help It...  
> GA: I Dont Think You Could Understand  
> GA: To Know What It Means To Want Someone Dead  
> GA: And To Want Those You Pity Alive At The Same Time  
> GA: Its A Terrible Balance   
> TT: I don't think I'd even want to TRY to understand.  
> TT: Kanaya, you're scaring me!    
> GA: I Understand  
> GA: Or At Least Ill Try To  
> GA: That Leads Me To Auspistice   
> TT: Please just stop.    
> GA: Rose Please Listen  
> GA: This Is Important  
> GA: If You Want To Understand Us You Have To Understand This  
> GA: Auspistice Is How We Protect Ourselves  
> GA: Auspistices Have A Hand In Holding Two Kismeses Together  
> GA: Together They Can Vent And Dont Want To Kill  
> GA: The Only Hand  
> GA: Without It Our Society Fails   
> TT: Excluding the venting bloodlust, that's what our friends do for us, I've never once felt that was drawing too thin.  
> TT: Tell me, Kanaya. When Nepeta "lost interest" in that kismesis of hers, and didn't have an auspistice to support her thanks to you... did Nepeta kill her?    
> GA: I Told You Already That I Dont Know   
> TT: Unbelievable.    
> GA: Rose Please   
> GA: Im Not Trying To Lecture Against You And I Wish You Wouldnt Against Me  
> GA: If You Want To Revoke Any Of Our Plans I Will Understand  
> GA: I Will Try To Understand  
> GA: But If We Are Going To Live Even Near One Another As Trolls And Humans  
> GA: You Have To Understand What We Were Once   
> TT: Just "once"?    
> GA: Certainly Not Now  
> GA: I Dont Think Wed Hurt One Another Any More  
> GA: Or At Least Id Like To Believe That  
> GA: And You Have Nothing To Fear  
> GA: Things Have Changed And Are Going To Change Further   
> TT: I'd like to think that.  
> TT: But Kanaya, this is MONSTEROUS. I don't think you understand even though you're saying you're trying.    
> GA: Im Saying I Will Try From Here Out  
> GA: This Conversation Has Always Been Asking A Lot Sometimes That Takes Time   
> TT: Kanaya  
> TT: ...I need to talk to John.  
> TT: And I need to not talk to you.    
> GA: I  
> GA: I Understand   
> TT: Thank you.    
> GA: Im Sorry I Didnt Tell You Sooner Rose  
> GA: I Leave This In Your Hands Then Ive Told All I Think You Need To Know About Us  
> GA: One Day Id Like To Think Ill Find The Strength To Be Direct   
> TT: I hope I find the strength to see through this clear.    
> GA: Trust Your Leader   
> TT: I do. I hope I can trust you too. 
> 
> grimAuxiliatrix [GA]  ceased trolling tentacleTherapist [TT]

  


* * *

Vriska was elated. She wondered what Eridan was thinking when she turned to him with a devastating smile on her face, what he thought of the metronome tick of her finger before she pressed it to his chest to prod him back towards the transportalizer.

He was imperceptible. "did wwhat i think just happen... happen?" he asked. But she felt confident that he knew. He was better now, better than he had been. He was bigger, and stronger, and sharper too. He knew exactly what was on her mind, and what had just happened. He just couldn't believe how his luck had turned.

Vriska could still hear Rose and Kanaya through the door. Kanaya was sobbing. "Rose, I'm _terrible_. I just... I just tried to..." and then started to ramble something before Rose shushed her. "Rose, I'm trying to be better," she insisted. "I know you don't..." but she stopped speaking there.

Vriska tossed a look back at the wall, and through it with her eye. Kanaya had slumped down against it and Rose knelt down beside her, her fingers pressed to Kanaya's lips for silence. "Hey. Do you think I would have really started dating you if I wasn't ready for the hard parts? Of course, the more a certain somebody taught me, the more I thought that somebody needed a moirail."

"N-no," Kanaya protested. "I need... I'm sorry Rose."

Rose smiled, a detail that Vriska had trouble working out at first. "It's okay. And besides, I'm sure you're waiting for crazy stuff from me." Kanaya's only reply was to pull Rose down into an awkward, moulter's hug. "We'll get it," Rose whispered, Vriska barely following as she had to stop listening at the time to give a shove towards the platform. "Does the moulting hurt right now?" Kanaya shook her head. "It's funny," Rose said. "You're gonna be so much taller than me when this is over. It's going to be so weird." And Kanaya let herself laugh into Rose's shoulder.

 _So someone else is looking after Fussyfangs for a change._ Vriska grinned, just a little cockeyed. Who'd have thought it? And Vriska was happy for her! Past her would never believe it. How things had changed. As she stepped through the transportalizer herself, her mind was still on the couple. She thought she heard their names whispered in the split second between places, along with her own. Emotion was making her high, and the best change of all was just about to come. _Hers_.

But the more things change, the more they stay the same, wasn't that how it worked? When she stepped through the transportalizer and found herself alone in the hub room with Eridan, she felt that old familiar feeling pumping through her, filling her with life. And she began to chuckle deep in her throat, and waltzed towards him. The lights were dimmer near the edges of the room and her face fell into shadows as she approached, a surreal and terrifying look. She looked sultry, dangerous. _Insane._

"Oh, Ampora," she said, walking up to him until he was trapped between her and the wall. He didn't try to edge out. _That's right,_ she thought as she ran her tongue over her teeth. _You get it._ She cupped a hand at the base of his jaw and curled her claws towards her in a cutting draw. Obediently, his eyes alight, Eridan leaned forward to match. "We're gonna have so much _fun_ together," Vriska cooed. Then she shoved him hard into the back wall and began to laugh. Hysterically. She couldn't help it. Everything was set. Eridan didn't know what he was in for. Rose?

Rose knew nothing.

Eridan Ampora was left in the shadows alone as Vriska's laughter faded. His senses restored, a laugh began to build on his own lips, the conqueror's laugh that had once been heard day in and out on the Alternian high seas. But even that didn't feel like enough, and so, in the privacy of that public place, he cut loose, pumped his fist and roared in victory: "YEEEEEAAAAAAH!"

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Time. To. Play._
> 
> I swear I had that stuff about Troll cultural violence ready long before Andrew updated about it. Stupid canon, being more right, faster than me.
> 
> It might be clear now why Aradia/Dave and Rose/Kanaya were newly inserted chapters: too many hookups in a row. Only the ones in this chapter were originally the plan, with those coming later. There are more complicated reasons as to why I didn't want to move them that I'll explain later. Hopefully the hookups-in-a-row it didn't bother anyone, but I felt it was more important that all the pieces get into place before I moved on.
> 
> I seriously considered having Equius say "de%cy" but no one would have got it.
> 
> You know, I posted this in all versions without the most important footnote of all! The pesterlog in this chapter is more or less a refined version of the original Hand in Holding Hands! Yup, just that. The Aradia and Equius scene was what made me want to do it. I'm sure there are some that would have preferred it to stay at that size but...
> 
> Falling behind? The second recap is just around the corner!


	15. Intermission

* * *

  
**== > END OF ACT 2**   


  


* * *

 

  
**== > INTERMISSION**   


  
**Show Pesterlog**   
  


> A word of caution:  
> Messages can have different meanings in different contexts.  
> A cautionary tale in one universe may not even apply to another.  
> A warning given to one group may not save another.  
> A wise speaker would rephrase.   
> AA: and 0ur "speaker?"   
> Gods are very wise. Their representatives are often wiser still.  
> They are also emotional.  
> An emotional message can be disjointed. A God's message is always disjointed.  
> The same words may speak different truths to new ears.  
> You would do well not to mistake one warning for another.   
> AA: i'll d0 what i can   
> See that you do. You and I will not speak again.  
> My Master's business with you and your allies is finished.  
> Our impact is gone. Meanings will change. What you know may not be enough. It may even be wrong, in context.  
> And I'd hate to leave thinking I've lost you again, my dear.  
> So stay safe. Stick to your branch, and listen.  
> I find it's always worth listening at times like this, don't you?  
> When the Gods scream.   
> 

  
  


  
[   
](http://archiveofourown.org/works/151999)   


  


  
**  
[==> [I] The Dargon Arc](http://archiveofourown.org/works/151999)   
**   


  


* * *

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, really.
> 
> The exchange between Scratch and Aradia is a November 2011 addition partially added as a response to the Lord English = Skipper Plumbthroat comparisons being made after LE's reveal. I felt the need to differentiate my Intermission (started in January 2011) and any plans Andrew may yet have for the Squiddles (which were still completely opaque as the Intermission was written, and remain so to the present). ...Partially.


	16. Recap #2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you need a full recap, start at [recap1](http://archiveofourown.org/works/136167/chapters/195125")!
> 
> A03 outright _ate_ some of Nepeta's lines in this one because of her stupid left bracket. Here and everywhere in the fic, please: if you see anything that looks like it might be missing, leave me a comment.

_[Close up on a strange, green-purple maggot-esque thing lying on a table in a small puddle of its own sticky, viscous coating. A series of hard, black legs sprout from its left side, raised erect and seemingly incapable of touching the table on account of the maggot's absurd girth. The maggot's exoskeleton appears semi-transparent or perhaps stretched beyond reasonable limits, as it is possible to see several organs pressed up against the outermost edge. Two extended antenna sprout from its head and droop off the edge of the table and out of sight._

 _Suddenly, two of the maggot's legs snap downward, like switches, and one of the maggot's organs suddenly phosphoresces in the shape of a digital "6". Sound begins to filter out of the creature's mouth.]_

KANAYA: Hi, you've reached Kanaya Maryam. I'm off speculating on the ephemeral and intangible nature of our existence. Please leave a message.

 _[The maggot's leftmost leg clicks down on its own and then shoots back up to the sound of an electric "boop!"]_

VRISKA [speaking very deeply]: Uh... hello, yes. Hello Miss Maryam. This is... [Detective Everybody, down at the station.](http://www.homestarrunner.com/answer2.html) The lab station, that's, uh, monitoring the lab, to make sure everything is safe! And... it's not. Miss Maryam. It's just not. We've got your friend Eridan here and... he's dead! Becau— we killed him, because he was so, uh, pathetic... that we had to shoot him, to keep him from being even more pathetic, and desperate. So if you wanna come down and ID the body, you'll want to hurry and, like, leave your transportalizer unlocked, and... definitely leave your chainsaw behind where... _absolutely no one_ will try to get its captcha code in an effort to make dice that transform into tiny robotic spiders. Uhh... Anyway, this is DE, down at, lab security! Bye!

 _[The maggot's leg clicks again and the number on its side decrements to "5".]_

TEREZI: Kanaya, this is the T-Star, the T-Star Runner and—

NEPETA: We need more costumes!

TEREZI: Hey!

NEPETA: Oh, sorry... *the adorable yellow wedge thing interrupts Homestar to say "Medly me medle meh!"* Which means "we need more costumes!"

TEREZI: Yeah, we were kind of hoping to pull together a Cheat Commandos reunion.

NEPETA: _I GET TO HAVE A GUN!_

TEREZI: So they don't really wear much so it's an easy job! But we might be talking about Equius here so pack STRONG thread if you're up to it.

EQUIUS: I was told that I get to portray a Blue laser of some sort and I find the combination of hemospectrum and projectile weapon more than sufficient.

TEREZI: I'm not sure what he's talking about but bear with me. Anyway, _[she slips back into her lisping character]_ gimme that beep, you old broomstick!

NEPETA: BlaaaaaaaarghI'm Crack Stu—

 _[The machine cuts her off with a click and a beep, then cuts to "4".]_

TAVROS: oH,,, uH,,, hI KANAYA, [THIS IS TAVROS](http://www.homestarrunner.com/answer1.html) AND,,, dO YOU STILL HAVE UH,,, mY LEGS? bECAUSE I GAVE THEM TO YOU FOR,,, FOR SIZING OVER A WEEK AGO, aND I COULD REALLY,,, USE,,, MY LEGS, kANAYA. I mean, no hurry! I really appreciate the help and the idea of having pants THAT FIT again. But I'd kind of like them back! I need them to get around but i,,, SUPPOSE,,, YOU CAN KEEP THEM, lIKE, iF YOU WANT, iF THAT,,, HELPS? And could you ask Nepeta why she gave me an old camcorder and some of Gamzee's face paint because... I-I don't think she was speaking English and... [he begins to talk fast] you know what, nevermind, seeyouatthemeeting.

 _[He hangs up abruptly, and the machine switches over to Message #3.]_

KANAYA: Hi Kanaya, this is going to be Past Kanaya. I'm here with the De-Canonized Characters' Support Group and... _[distant wailing]_ ...just wanted to leave a message to check with Karkat and Sollux about whether the Humans exist in this idealized, fourth-wall-breaching AU. Because we could really use Rose's help here, or any actual psychologist. People aren't taking being de-canonized as well as I might have hoped and—

GAMZEE: [I'M AN ABOMINATION!!](http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail187.html)

GAMZEE: and i'm coming to your house after—

 _[We hear the a sound of a heavy slap.]_

KANAYA: _No murdering!_

GAMZEE: But...

KANAYA: What did I just say? _What did I just say?_

GAMZEE: W-w need... uh... sOlIdArItY.

KANAYA: _SOLIDARITY!_

 _[We hear the sound of footsteps travelling away from the phone.]_

KANAYA: We need to stick _together_! I mean... we've all got new backstories we don't understand, a-and who knows where we stand in... like... i-in the grand scheme of things any more. I-it's _h-hard_ being non-canon! It's hard and _no_ body _understands!_

 _[Her breath catches and she sniffles into the phone for a brief moment.]_

KANAYA: [Sigh]...make quiche tonight. Or the eggs are going to go bad. Lorraine, I think. Okay, s-see you tonight.

 _[The maggot switches over to message #2.]_

KARKAT: All right Kan, you've gotta fucking level with me. YOU FUCKING LEVEL WITH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I AM NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANY MORE! Is there, or is there not, a conspiracy with all you Homestar Runner cosplayers to drive me up the fucking wall? Because... I'm thinking there is. Gamzee just came in here with a black and an orange scalemate and shouted about how he was going to "[stack 'em to the heavens](http://www.homestarrunner.com/malloween.html)" and how they "look different, but"... " _taste the same_ ". And now _you're_ leaving me messages again summarizing, _gog fucking help me_ , this fucking fanfic again. Don't think I don't know how this works! I mean, first it's Nepeta, then it's you, then it's Terezi. It's gonna be Terezi, isn't it? Or... no. No, this is _her idea!_ Isn't it? Well, tell her I'm on to her! I'm on her like a fucking crazy... revengey... uh... well this is coming out wrong, but she's in for it!

 _[A thumping sound comes over the machine, and the shuffling of papers.]_

KARKAT: ...Buuuut I did it anyways. I better hear a fucking grateful 'thank you' once this is all over because I swear! J-just, one thing, Kan. One thing. Tell me you nuts aren't getting off on this placid crap. Especially you. I mean, you're allowed to crush on Rose if you want. I mean, she's okay, but _fanfiction_? _About yourself?_ Look, I'm emailing you the damn summary, and you should all thank me for it. I should have said it over the phone so your machine could choke on it.

NEPETA: I helped! Karkat! Karkat, tell her I helped.

KARKAT: Yeah, Nepeta helped too. She drew me up a fucking graph of all the relationships.

NEPETA: He told me to draw up a shipping grid! So I did and then he said "NO STUPID, OF THE ACTUAL RELATIONSHIPS IN THE FIC." And I don't think he knows what shipping _is_ , Kanaya.

KARKAT: She ships fic Gamzee with _our_ Eridan.

NEPETA: Heheheheh.

KARKAT: Look, just read the damn file, would you?

* * *

Rose was attempting to talk to Tavros about his relationship with Eridan when we last left off in recap. There, she was interrupted at a key moment by Vriska. Vriska had prearranged to meet Tavros so that they could write their EPIC COMING OF AGE FANTASY NOVELLA because there is nothing else to do in the lab. Rose went to get lunch, learning that Jade and Nepeta had both had previously come to Gamzee “Iron Chef” Makara for comfort from some UNKNOWN PROBLEM OR PROBLEMS that may or may not be related, but both appear fine in the present day. When she returned, she saw Vriska and Tavros at work. Watching them, Rose realized that they might still have some feelings for one another, and offered the role to Vriska so to avoid screwing things up in her inexperience and so that Vriska and Tavros could still be a part of one another’s lives when all was said and done. Vriska turned her down because of some yet-unexplained problem she had with being in the relationship with Eridan, perhaps as simple as HATE or perhaps something deeper and more complicated, and left Rose to puzzle out the pieces.

She had not gone far when she ran head-on into Eridan, who had overheard the talk with Vriska. They both fought fight over whether Rose should be working for Eridan, but were interrupted by Terezi. She, still shaken from her fight with Dave, had decided to reassert her self confidence through RANDOM ACTS OF JUSTICE, here demonstrated by tripping Feferi for no good reason. To keep Eridan from overreacting to the trip, Rose interposed herself and discovered that she might just hold his ASHEN CONFIDENCE after all.

The conversation that followed caused many of the details of Feferi’s recent weird OBSESSION with Aradia to come to bear, along with Karkat’s apparent but misread order to STOP THE TWO OF THEM FROM TALKING. Feferi stormed out at the news and Sollux followed after explaining the situation. He also mentioned that he and Aradia have only recently officially broken off whatever STILL AMBIGUOUS RELATIONSHIP they had before her DEATH. This was much easier to HANDWAVE before she HUGGED HIM in CANON before BLOWING UP, making the author feel SUPER BAD at the time.

Afterward, Rose confronted Terezi on her behaviour, only getting tripped in turn. When she refused to stay down, Terezi experienced a CHANGE IN COLLAPSING AND EXPANDING VASCULAR SYSTEM and agreed to reach out and consider some of Rose’s suggestions and Human ideas instead of letting Dave’s rejection fester on her. Calmed down, Rose stuck around long enough to see Eridan and Tavros make up, Rose’s conversations with both having made Eridan aware of Tavros’ earlier worries. They then shared their FIRST KISS, much to the chagrin of Vriksa (who was only contained by John) and to the outright destruction of Nepeta’s HEALTHY BLOOD PRESSURE. This also proved to the amusement of Rose’s NOT-SO-PERSONAL PERSONAL DEMON, on hand to finger the undeserved burst of PRIDE she had in that little smooch.

Finally getting a chance to talk to Kanaya, Rose concluded (erroneously) that the source of her earlier DISCOMFORT was related to the fact that (like Tavros, Eridan and not-quite-Vriksa) Kanaya is MOULTING. Though she did not go into details, it would appear that for female Trolls this involves large patches of affected skin, closer to the insectoid full-body moult. These patches prove quite PAINFUL, instead of the male’s constant dandruff problem, because WHAT THE HELL, NATURE. Rose attempted to comfort her but discovered to her distress that she did not know how to do so, because every GESTURE OF COMFORT she could imagine seemed to put her too far into one QUADRANT or another, upsetting their undecided relationship. To make matters worse, Rose had earlier mentioned that she was considering auspisticing for Vriska, and only then realized that that had made Kanaya JEALOUS. Deciding that she had done nothing but ruin things and with Kanaya just as deadlocked with indecision, Rose fled the room.

Knowing she would certainly run into her HORRORTERROR in her moment of weakness, Rose decided to taunt it ahead of time. This proved to be a mistake, and the Horrorterror pressed a fraction of its FULL POWER onto Rose by appearing in all of its forms at once. Rose’s physical body could barely keep up with her mind and she lost track of IMPORTANT DEDUCTIONS, losing them entirely when Vriska appeared, fresh from her conversation with John. Anyone who worked out that driving Rose to the brink of sanity and then throwing her directly into contact with Vriska was part of a plan to get her to go BERZERK and OPEN THE UNIVERSE again gets a cookie. They’re vanilla. I know some people don’t like chocolate so I made vanilla.

Fortunately for Dave and Aradia, Vriska was not in the mood to fight. It would appear that John had turned her on to the idea of HATING Eridan again, and she was willing to give Rose a shot as well. Rose was less forgiving, and demanded that she perform two TASKS: get a moirail at Level 99 (these critical sections of the fic were written before GOD TIERS were introduced, and so God Tiers DO NOT EXIST in this AU) and also to APOLOGIZE to Aradia for killing her, to remove her as a hated temptation. Vriska revealed that she thought Kanaya was still her moirail, and was only briefly upset when she learned otherwise, to Rose’s irritation. Ultimately, Vriska agreed. Left to her own devices, Rose wisely decided to avoid the Horrorterror by slinking through the ACCESS TUNNELS and UNUSED HALLS of the lab from now on.

Still upset and growing worse, Kanaya left her room not long after and turned to her best recourse: her LEADER, Karkat. There, and in more detail in the chapter that followed, we learned that the actual source of her recent trepidation was a plan that she, Karkat and several others devised. The plan was simply that she would force herself to decide on her and Rose’s QUADRANT before the day was out, a plan that caused her a great deal of stress and was now spoiled. Excusing himself, Karkat took Kanaya aside to comfort her in private. Meanwhile, Sollux and Feferi made up after their fight, but it appeared that she was UP TO SOMETHIN'. On the roof of the lab, Dave and Aradia met up and eventually talked about the fight with Terezi, ending with them using a rare moment of calm to go some kind of coolkid DATE.

Last of all, Rose bumped into Gamzee, still talking to Terezi like he had promised to do earlier on, and found them both being WEIRDOS together. Terezi appeared to have calmed down immensely and seemed downright happy again, and they were able to console Rose through the POWER OF SOAP OPERA and FOOD FIGHTS.

Elsewhere, the Strider-Medigo date had gone foul with the arrival of Jack Noir. Fighting him off with their future and past selves, Dave and Aradia were forced to contend with his abilities to simulate TELEPORTATION and to PULL THE POWERS OF OTHERS THROUGH TIME ITSELF. Overcoming a series of the Troll’s old lusii, they escaped with major damage to Aradia’s arm. While repairing it, they kissed and Rose got a chance to jibe Dave for it.

When the others arrived the next official morning, Rose and Kanaya had another chance to talk, heckle-assisted by Karkat. Kanaya ultimately kissed Rose on the cheek and took the leap to invite Rose to the FLUSHED QUADRANT. Thrilled, Jade pulled Rose aside the first chance she got to talk about it, learning about Rose’s new friendship with Gamzee and Terezi in the process. Not long after, Rose had a close encounter with Jade’s newest friend, Nepeta, who took the liberty of occupying their laps uninvited. Aradia and Equius soon arrived on scene, sharing a HATING-ARGUMENT about whether or not she was cheating on him with Dave, which she played for all it was worth, to Nepeta’s distress. Nepeta tried to explain that Equius "really likes" Aradia, but further complaints were cut off by the clearly more urgent need to update her SHIPPING WALL at hints of Dave<3Aradia.

Karkat then took the opportunity to lecture the other Trolls about how they had been sticking to one side of the QUADRANTS, boasting that he had partners on both the HATE and the PITY side. When Terezi arrived to remind him that their relationship was not in good shape, and when Dave pointed out that he had no Hate-partner he knew of, Karkat maintained his claim. He then brought up the Troll's old archnemesis, the EMPRESS, who was NOT FEFERICESTOR at the time this was written. This reminded the Trolls of their old existence as WOULD-BE REBELS (while this was originally just backstory, it arrived just in time for the CANON MURDERSTRAVAGANZA in the Lab to begin. Thus it also serves optimally as an explanation for the Troll’s UNITY in this AU. I'll take what I can get, thanks). Rose bothered Karkat about why he was so annoyed about relationships and concluded it had something to do with the lack of IMPERIAL DRONES. Inspired, Karkat decided to continue the practice of DRONES at least for one generation, using a Troll in place: Sollux, who accepted the role only begrudgingly.

At that point, point of view switched temporarily to Vriska. Attempting to fulfil Rose’s second TASK ("apologize to Aradia") she began to tail the Maid of Time, waiting for an opportunity and her own gumption to build up. Eavesdropping as an excuse to not go through with it, she picked up that Feferi was truly bothered by the idea of TROLL FRIENDSHIPS, but that Sollux was still friends with Karkat (which Feferi knows) and Aradia (which she does not).

Similarly, Vriska discovered that Terezi's fight with Dave was upsetting her ability to TRUST her new friends. As Gamzee had long been friends with Karkat, Terezi asked him outright if he was "actually interested in [her]" for any of their free quadrants. Terezi's worry was that his should-be temporary friendship, as expected for Trolls, was just leading her to another dead-end long-term friendship, like with Dave. This made even Gamzee feel awkward, so she took it back and felt awful for not considering him as a friend when she remembered her promise to Rose to consider Human ideas. Vriska also found that Gamzee, unlike the other Trolls, has a second special TONE OF VOICE, entirely in undercase, which might seem EERILY FAMILIAR but did not seem to frighten Terezi in the slightest. That's right: now that A03 has colour support, the author has gone MAD WITH POWER and is making the tones a PLOT POINT. We in the recap department would like to apologize to anyone reading via A03-generated downloads.

We also learned that Vriska still carries a torch for John but does not act on it because of the irritating balancing act she’s been putting herself through in an effort to keep Tavros in her life as well.

When Jade began to watch a DVD of [THE INTERMISSION](http://archiveofourown.org/works/151999), Vriska's ran into Equius and Aradia. Equius had worked out about Aradia’s true relationship with Dave and had arrived to gloat and flirt, to Dave’s obvious disgust. Feferi arrived in the middle of the conversation, and was goaded into revealing her secret ASHEN CRUSH on the couple that had built up from Sollux’s stories of a younger Aradia. She made a point of approaching the new relationship with a mature professionalism she felt was lacking with some of the others. Soon after, Vriska ended up in an argument with Aradia, where she discovered to her shock that Aradia had – intentionally or accidentally – helped her be a better person by murdering her, and concluded that they had been moirails "all along." This craftily bypassed Rose’s FIRST TASK by fulfilling the OTHER and left Aradia confounded.

Vriska snatched up Eridan and demanded Rose fill her side of the bargain by becoming their auspistice, though she had to first confront a moulting-enraged Kanaya to do so. Rose ultimately agreed. The Eighteenth Conversation pesterlog ended here, with a terrified Past Rose learning of the Troll's true VIOLENT NATURES, implying the emotional gap she's travelled so far to fall for Kanaya, and may yet have to go to be an even passable auspistice.

The last chapter ended with Vriska giving Eridan the promise that he was going to get just about as much hating as he truly deserves (to his triumphant delight), and several cryptic hints about Vriska's plans, left yet unexplained.

This was followed by the intermission proper, where a group of adorable squishy things were almost eaten alive by a horrorterrifying white lusus, and also an irate fisherman. The relevancy is tangible! Oh, and Kanaya and Karkat might have hooked up or something, whatever. With that, the DAY OF MANY HOOK-UPS was finally brought to an end.

 _Shipping Grid_

  
AC: :33 < here is the shipping grid kanaya!  
AC: :33 < *ac used circles to show who are furrends because it is apparently so impurrtant!*  
AC: :33 < *and she split some of the symbols apart where someone broke up!*  
AC: :33 < *slash, slash, slash, slash!*  
AC: :33 < oh no, wait, that's the opposite of slash  
AC: :33 < just nevermind, my meowstake!   


  


AC: :33 < *ac found all of our symbols in tenebrais' grid on the furst romspec thread and so wants to say thank you!*  
AC: :33 < *it saved her lots of time!*

* * *

 _[The machine cuts over to Message #1.]_

ERIDAN: Hey Kan, this is Eridan. I was just calling to see if, uh, whether we were friends or... [more than just friends](http://www.homestarrunner.com/answer8.html). See, I sometimes forget what's real and what's just in my head! So, give me a call back and we can discuss this over a bowl of Troll Special K or... if you're feelin' a little caliginous... a bowl of broken glass. I mean, I'm flexible! I'll see you at tomorrow's meeting I guess. Or maybe I'll... [he puts on a deep, "sexy" voice] _see you tomorroww_.

 _[The maggot's legs snap back into place.]_   


_Easter Egg_

 _[Karkat can be seen at his desk, hunched over something before him. Terezi, still in her Homestar cosplay, appears from offscreen right.]_

KARKAT: Hey, what did I say about bugging me rig— gog dammit, you found a beanie cap. You could not be a bigger dork right now.

TEREZI: What'cha doin', Karkat?

KARKAT: [He hunches in her way to prevent her from seeing.] Preparing for the fucking inevitable is what I'm doing.

TEREZI: Karkat?

KARKAT: What?

TEREZI: [She grins] [Spin my buzzer.](http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail101.html)

KARKAT: Your what?

TEREZI: My buzzer! Give it a spin!

 _[Terezi leans slightly forward and down. Hesitant, Karkat shoots Terezi a look but reaches out with a pencil and flips her hat's propeller.]_

TEREZI: [singing] Doot-doot doo doo _doot-doo!_ Doot-doot doo doo—

KARKAT: [cutting her off] So... now you're singing the opening bars of _Sunslammer_?

TEREZI: Noooo! Not "singing!" When you spin my buzzer, it _plays 'Sunslammer'_ by "Beatfox" Peale _[faster]_ original _'Sunsetter'_ by "Radiation" Fox!

KARKAT: Uh huh.

TEREZI: I also gots me some _'Friendship is Paramount'_!

KARKAT: That's great. You and _[he gestures to the recap on-screen]_ SepticRemainder can celebrate being the only ones with that album.

 _[Terezi flops onto his shoulder.]_

TEREZI: Mr. Vantas, can you tell me about the Squiddles?

KARKAT: Fuck n-- _[she attempts to bite his nose]_ ...You're confusing the shippers of two fandoms, you know.

NEPETA [offscreen]: I'm not confused!

* * *

  
**== > ACT 3**   


  


* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Personally I'm quite fond of the mental picture of Nepeta pondering if an alternate universe version of herself is friends with Gamzee. She would take it very seriously.
> 
> Speaking of the kitty, I totally forgot that my original plan was to _hide_ a relationship in the grid to see if anyone would notice, and then blame Nepeta for it. The relationship was Feferi &Karkat (a circle) to represent her respect for him as a General, but I dropped it considering Feferi's anti-friend stance. Respect isn't necessarily friendship! And then I considering making it a triangle... and then...
> 
> This chapter used to have a joke about _Heir Conditioning_ 's upsettingly limited easter egg appearance, which I made the very day before _Strife!_ was released. It had to go but what timing!


	17. Chapter 17

Rose was snapped out of any daydreams she might have had about the new plan by a shower of rust flakes that coated her and John as one of the construction droids passed overhead. After that it was far too easy to remember that they were up to their eyeballs in grime, and Vriska's yelp from below at some prank of Eridan's made it impossible to ignore the height. Forty stories up on a scaffold platform built for three, passing tools into a crawlspace barely built for one. From time to time, Kanaya's voice would echo out of the tunnel only semi-coherent, and only then would it be time to act. In the interim, one had to get into the habit of never looking down or up, or risk vertigo. They even had to be careful when looking back to lessen the risk of temporary blindness from the ponderous, overpowered "lightstalks" the Trolls had erected. And everywhere, everyone had to overcome the cutting, sawing, welding, hammering, banging, crashing, shifting, shocking, humming, buzzing, echoing _noise_ that was their constant companion, sneaking past ear protection and making it impossible to communicate at less than a shouting volume. Oh yes, Operation "Wacky Hijinks" was well underway.

Kanaya said something about a "mffng thnugmmah," and John acknowledged by tossing a Troll measuring device Rose thought had something to do with liquid pressure. Rose was impressed at how good she had gotten at listening over the noise of the construction site, but sounds coming out of the crawlspace were still impenetrable. Only the two masters of Breath were able to communicate with ease in the din, never-minding their membership in the exclusive club of people not afraid to fall off the maze of scaffolding. The scaffolds and their platforms were the low point of the project, as many of them lacked safety rails thanks to a bad captcha code. Use of game powers was at an all-time high, the ball of light in Rose's hand (for lack of nearby lightstalks) being an excellent indication. John liked to chalk it up to "enthusiasm, Rose! Everybody's rarin' to go again!"

It had all started four days after John had first gotten his idea. The three days in between were days of relative seclusion for him and Karkat; three days of Kanaya, Jade, Equius, Sollux, Aradia and Dave being kidnapped at random and reappearing later, only explaining that they had been asked "questions. Detailed questions." Rose, since she was close friends with one of the abductors and three of the abductees, had a better picture at the time, but her privilege ended when the fourth day had it all come out.

"We have," Karkat said after he had everyone's attention, "one hundred and eleven days." Fourteen of them were present for the speech — Dave and Aradia still absent and their absence still, at large, unexplained. "The day after, we rest. You can fucking thank Egbert for that. The very next day," he continued, "we kill the demon."

The uproar made it impossible to continue for some time, though judging from Karkat's face it had come in under expected levels. When they had stopped, he hit them with the details.

In essence, they were going to build the world's largest rat trap and then they themselves would play the role of the snapping bar. To avoid unmasking Dave and Aradia by revealing Jack's tactics, Karkat had neatly summarized the need to trap him "just to be sure, dipshit." The one hundred eleven days were going to be spent constructing and testing a massive battle platform, to be floated out to meet Jack away from the lab just in case there was a chance to retreat. This platform would serve not only to accommodate those of their group that could not fly through use of Dreamselves or powers, but to seal Jack in with them during the fight. While they were sure he could rupture the place given sufficient time and effort, all they had to do was to prevent him the opportunity. Eleven different powers (Gamzee's nonsense excluded), would be folded up into the very steel and rock of the platform to redirect, ground or otherwise weaken Jack's attacks against the platform and its holding field, at least for "long enough." Karkat made it perfectly clear that any other efforts: automatic guns, or attempts to dampen Jack's powers directly, were secondary. Dave privately admitted that this was because they would never work.

To use as a base, Jade and Kanaya were called on to bring in an asteroid to the lab's hangar bay, a sixty storey dry dock of that dug into the lab's asteroid and had probably once been used for mid-sized warships. Equius had disassembled enough of his robots to find out which spare parts had once belonged to the large, spherical construction droids that had roamed Alternia, and they had alchemized from there. The droids worked with remarkable speed, more or less facilitating the entire hundred-day timeframe from what would probably have taken years. With Sollux reprogramming around the clock like he liked so much, the rest of them were dedicated to constant fine-tuning. Powers were assigned and abstractly misappropriated. The Seer of Mind was set to task on deciding Jack's ten most likely first responses. The Rogue of Heart was running hydraulics. More appropriately, the Sylph and Witch of Space were everywhere, performing rapid calculations and making sure the platform would be able to lift its own weight with the help of a few dozen magnified repulser systems from Sburb. Dave and Aradia, when they were around at all, were working on the capture field that would keep Jack inside the platform, physically and temporally. But for many of them, like the mistresses of Light or the Prince of Hope, all there was to do was to work under a more appropriately gifted fellow.

"Okay," Kanaya said clearly as she pulled herself out of the crawlspace. She was wearing jeans — some old ratty pair of Jade's — which Rose knew she could not stand. "I'm going to need a half-dozen rivets. I need you to take this to Sollux, Rose, and... I think I should replace some of the coolant pipes, the droids put in some that were frankly out-of-sorts." Kanaya passed Rose a notepad, the pages covered in math. The way Jade put it, she and Kanaya had not really understood the math their Space powers spat at them at first. That had changed when Sollux had insisted they learn real notation after Jade asked him to re-calibrate an antenna "clockwise and a little to the left," and then "No, not that much left." Besides notes, the pad was absolutely covered in the shattered-glass-patterned fingerprints the Trolls left everywhere. The entire asteroid and scaffold was covered with shattered glass and the Humans' whorls and spirals now that everyone was constantly covered in sludge.

Rose nodded understanding of her orders, and was part-way through working out her route when she saw Kanaya cast her a smile, just for the sake of smiling. It was like a personal message of nothing that needed to be said.

"See you around, Rose!" John said as he returned from the toolbox, still looking ridiculous in his headband. ("Egbert, it is not the eighties, how many times—" "You see, Dave, that's where you're wrong." "Did you just tell the Knight of Time that he's wrong about your terrible favourite decade being deader than big hair and _The Muppet Babies_?" "Well, the way I see it...") Rose returned the smile to Kanaya, almost in secret as she squelched the light ball out of existence as though afraid John would catch on, and descended one of the infinite ladder rungs that lined the asteroid. From there the route was down, up and across the overwhelming number of paths across the scaffolding to the main dock, the only part of the entire assembly that did not shake every few times you set your weight on it. It was a far way from where Rose began.

They had been at the construction for just over two weeks now, or so Dave had told her, two days prior. It had been the first time she had ever seen him at breakfast, but she was not surprised to find him face down beside his thrice-ironic Lucky Charms in a polka dot bowl and a Mickey Mouse spoon. She had said hello, he had said "Mmrmph." She had said asked how he was, he had said "Nrm... Day forty-six, hour nine." She had asked what, he had said "...Oh, sorry. I thought you said 'Who?'" If it had only been two weeks, progress had been good. She knew to thank the droids more than anything, but the progress on her teammates was still good. She saw it as she walked and climbed to the dock: people talking, laughing and working harder than she would have ever expected from them. While only Feferi and Tavros dared to be truly optimistic, Rose saw the beauty of John's plan in how it subtly crept into their language. Every time someone said "In a few months, we'll..." or "...seriously, one day..." it worked its way deeper to their core. It was happening: the future, free of the lab, with another chance to live.

Vriska rapped Eridan on the shoulder as Rose passed – provoked, Rose guessed. "Move the hell over!" she said. Eridan did not, but Vriska ignored him this time.

 _Because she never repeats herself,_ Rose thought. She had a better grasp on them now, but far from perfect. The past two weeks had been so unlike the ones before that Rose hardly believed it. For starters, she could not shake the impression that Vriska and Eridan were trying to ease her into their kismesissitude, even though that seemed too polite for Vriska and too, well, clever for Eridan. So far, her auspistice work had been simple but frustrating. Except for the odd shove, the couple tended away from physical contact, leaving Rose to casually eavesdrop on their back-and-forth acid and to answer their trolling at odd hours of the day. It was hard to bury her initial Human reaction to their troubles. If two friends were fighting like this, she would have immediately told them to suck it up and apologize. To keep on the caliginous road, Rose had to check herself before every pester or rare in-person interruption. What made it easy was that she could still choose to do nothing, correctly, on a regular basis, as she chose to do at that moment.

"Witch."

"Asshole."

Rose rolled her eyes. This was nothing. Rose was still prepared for far worse, and at least she had her friends, old and new. Between the five of them, Rose was certain she could always find something to distract herself with, though Gamzee did not always tend toward "activities" so much as "the same observations, repeatedly" And then there was Kanaya. In a manner of speaking, the time Rose spent with Kanaya had not much changed in activity. She still sat on the desk beside her computer as they chatted. She would come over to her room on request to give opinion about new outfits or to find herself recommended with new young adult novels, and she would have Kanaya over to her room for a swap of the same. It was more the atmosphere that had changed: little gestures, knowing she'd be asked how she was feeling and not just as a pleasantry, smiles. They didn't touch much more than before. Still, Kanaya tended to dwell more than she had when she adjusted Rose's hair and there was usually a hug goodnight, in whatever form Kanaya's sore points allowed.

"Hey, Rose!" Feferi greeted once Rose had touched down on solid ground. She was near the water bottles, and she dashed some of one onto her face. She shook it off vigorously before coming over to chat. "How's it going?"

"It's not bad," she said. "I've got a few requests for Sollux." That was all she cared to say. Rose was starting to get wary of conversations with Feferi, ever since the Troll ex-Princess had decided they should be "auspistice buddies!" She had been awfully keen to look over Rose's technique and while her advice tended to be sound, but Rose just could not help but think that she was looking for something to _do_. Equius and Aradia were more established and certainly more active when it came to their relationship, but Equius just buckled under Feferi so easily that all Aradia had to do was to walk away with a victorious grin on her metal face. Rose respected that Feferi had begun to back off just to maintain balance, but she just wished she would stop coming to her instead.

"So how are they dooooing?" she asked, straight to the usual. It was much easier to talk at a normal volume there on the dock, though the light of Aradia's nearby arc welding cast odd shadows down the hall in front of them.

"Vriska and Eridan?" Rose asked just out of politeness. "Oh I don't know. They're not letting their arguments get in the way of construction, I think that's all we can ask."

"All anyone but _you_ can ask!" Feferi said. She handed Rose a fresh water bottle, which she accepted before taking two more for John and Kanaya. "I mean, all up there, far away from anyone, unaperchable!" Feferi batted her eyelashes. "Why, two young Trolls might just get  DANG-EROUS ID---EAS!!"

"Do you mean caliginous romantic activity or... caliginous dangling-your-partner-off-the-edge-of-the-causeway activities?" Feferi shrugged. Rose supposed Vriska and Eridan weren't quite at the latter's level of extreme commitment yet, but teens will be teens. "They're not exactly 'unaperchable' right now..." she said. Reaching her destination, she called out: "Sollux!" and tossed her notepad into Sollux's cubicle-fort of various boxes. He snapped it up without a second word. Those days, Rose barely saw any more than the tip of his fingers.

"They're not?" Feferi asked. "But how could they... urgh, _Tavros!_ "

Of course. Rose was not sure why she had even had to say. Tavros did spend time with Gamzee those days, but it was clear he was more-or-less scared of Terezi and so he tended to stay away and could most often be seen with either his matesprit or Vriska. Technically it was his job to help communicate from one side of the rig to the other with the help of John and the Windy Thing. Without direct orders, Rose had last seen him on Vriska and Eridan's platform, just below John and exactly where one would have expected him to be.

"How are they supposed to have any private hate-time with Tavros hovering over their shoulders?" Feferi asked as Rose led her to the alchemizer they had installed nearby. Sollux had computed exactly what Kanaya needed in under the time it took them to cover the distance, and Rose found a circuit board waiting for her. Not wanting to damage the board, she immediately captchalogued it at the bottom of her tree. "You should talk to him."

"I'll talk to him," she reassured. "Not that he's..."

"No, he's not going to listen at all," Feferi agreed, right on cue. She downed the rest of her water, collected another and jumped ahead of Rose, taking the down ladder instead of the up. "I'm going to go check on Aradia. Don't need two sets of glubbing kismeses at once, do we? See you later, Rose!"

"Bye, Feferi," Rose said. She cast a look over to Aradia with shielded eyes, and watched Feferi approach with her own arm up. Aradia heard her call and stopped her welding to have an uninterrupted conversation. Rose thought back to earlier in the week when Karkat had tried to interrupt Aradia and was met with nothing but a blazing wall of light. Aradia did not seem to stop working for just anyone. Equius annoyed her too much to actually stop. She had once stopped for Dave, who came to greet her with ultra-prototyped shades and a squeeze of her shoulder. On the other hand, he had come to talk about their "real work," which meant she would have had to drop everything one way or another. She stopped for Feferi because talking, Rose felt, was the relationship. The same might have been said about moirallegience, but Vriska only seemed to have snarks or overt, sing-song, saccharine things to say to Aradia when Rose was in earshot. Still, Aradia seemed to listen even if she kept up her work, as loudly as posssible.

"How're things going, Aradia?" Feferi asked.

"I'm all right, Feferi, how are—"

"COVER YOUR EARS!"

Everyone but Aradia quickly reset their ear protection and slammed their hands over them for good measure as Equius set something alive that rolled over over other sounds and eardrumbs like a Giclops. When it had died down, they held their hands there out of practice as Equius shouted "Ridiculous!" once or twice before following up that all was "CLEAR!"

"Sorry about that, Feferi," Aradia said.

"It's no problem at all!" Feferi said with a smile. "Thank you very much for saying, though!"

Rose took back to the ladder. Rose wanted to like Aradia, but she had so little to work with. Somewhere, probably between the constant life-saving and honest tenderness, Dave had filed Aradia as totally un-ironic and tended not to talk about her at all in favour of his usual shlop. Rose found this absolutely precious, but as gossip it was useless to her. She had tried to explain her want it to Kanaya, one date. They had been sitting back to back, knitting, outside in Skaia's soft world-light, and Kanaya had not understood. Rose's tried to explain how friends might not be fond of someone who took away the time they used to have with a friend, especially when all they got in return was an awkward ringside seat to "all that face-sucking." And between John, who tended to get Dave's off-time attention, Dave's own private time and Jade, Rose had had so very little time with Dave in the first place. After all, the patrols came first.

Finally she had swallowed her pride and asked him on request from a puppy-eyed Jade (but actually from a puppy-eyed John). He tried to deflect the question at first. He said that most of the time he spent at "work" had nothing to do with actually policing Jack, but rather with making absolutely sure that he never did what _they_ did. It was a full-time job to manipulate Time to keep him from joining up with one of his past or future selves. "So we break together," he had said. "Join each other's sit'n'watch, talking about Mesoamerican culture."

"Talking about what?" Rose had asked from his bed, as he continued to play his musical turntables. Jade, lying next to Rose, continued to silently bop her head to the beat.

"Hey, a gentleman finds common interests."

"I'm going to assume this sudden interest of yours has its roots in your latent love of the preserved dead, Strider," Rose said. "Is it mummies, human sacrifices, or—! Excuse... or is it, possibly—!" Rose attempted to finish with "both" but was cut off again by Jade, who had been trying to derail the entire sentence by tickling Rose in the ribs.

"Macuhuitls," Dave had said, though Rose had barely heard him.

"Gesundheit," Rose managed to snark between laughs.

Dave had looked back at them as Rose tried to squirm away from Jade without surrendering the bed. He tossed his head the way he did to communicate an eye roll. "Shit, Rose, read a book!"

Dave was wearing stubble intentionally now, Rose had noticed.

"Hey Jade," Rose said to her friend as she passed her on one of the platforms. Jade smiled warily as she passed, adjusting the sweatband she was wearing in solidarity with John.

"Two hours to the bell, huh?" Jade remarked, and Rose nodded. Karkat kept them on a strict ten-to-six schedule, save when he grabbed someone from their free time to work with Aradia and Dave after-hours. Jade was a little wobbly. "I'm getting tired of all this up and down."

"Why don't you teleport?" Rose asked.

"Karkat says I should be 'strength training,'" Jade said with a roll of her eyes. "I guess there's not really that much of a hurry, huh? See you at dinner, okay?" Rose nodded as she headed down towards Equius on one of the few extended platforms. Jade saw her looking and made a face for Rose to see.

"Oh hush," Rose said. "Everyone's all jealous of you."

"Everyone should douse their heads!" Jade hissed back, but disappeared below the edge.

Nepeta passed Rose not long after, coming down a ladder from above. Rose fought to hide the hiss of breath through her teeth as she caught sight of Nepeta's leg. Since the Trolls had been in the same spawning batch and had landed on Alternia near the same day, it only stood to reason that everyone but Aradia would be moulting within the next few months. Karkat was now giving out orders in between furtive and enraged scratching at his forehead and back. Terezi was still pre-Moult, but Gamzee had not done a thing about his new full-body dandruff except to look at his shoulder from time to time and start cackling. Sollux's dreamself had begun to gradually shift over time, and Feferi had a moult on the sole of her foot that was forcing her to nurse a limp. All that said and done, Rose had not actually seen the moult until that moment, on Nepeta's back leg. It was covered with what looked like a green scab the size of Rose's hand and half again, with a white core. But the wound was not the wound was not the only sign of Nepeta's moult. She passed Rose with a smile, not seeming to mind her wound, save for a wince she gave after jumping down the ladder. Equius himself looked like had gotten in a tiff with his moirail, but those were his own scratch marks covering his body from head to toe in rough blue, raw and sore. Still, compared to Nepeta, Rose did not pity him in the slightest.

"Miss Harley, could you pass me my electrical current measuring device?"

"R-right," Jade said, passing Equius the nearby ammeter.

"Thank you, Miss Harley, I do appreciate." Rose scoffed. Equius probably wouldn't thank her for anything short saving his life, but Jade? Well, that wasn't Jade's fault he thought she was some sort of surviving royalty. Jade returned to the toolbox and occupied herself with that. It was clear that being around Equius was bothering her, and more than usual. He was shirtless. It was hot at the construction site, hot enough to make one ignore the strange things that dripped everywhere. More than a few of them, like Vriska and her jacket, had decided to dress down. Dave and Eridan were shirtless as well — Rose got the impression that aquatic trolls were not quite built to sweat like their land-based counterparts — but it was Equius that was drawing eyes. Rose had never considered muscles as something she found attractive, and Equius was still very young, but culture played its invisible hands. Poor Jade looked more and more embarassed every day. And Nepeta just made it worse. Almost certainly mimicking Equius, she had shown up for every day of work in a short tank top and cut-off pants with an oil rag stuffed in a pocket. She was trim, toned and (by the way she continued to invade personal space) either completely or not-at-all oblivious to all of the above. Together, to Rose and most of the Trolls, they were surprise gifts from the bisexual gods. Poor Jade, poor Jade, poor Jade.

 _Bang._ "Back!" Nepeta chirped, once again calling a warning after jump instead of before. Jade ceased her yelp of surprise and stood back to catch her breath. Nepeta walked past, loudly chewing some gum she had alchemized from John's collection. She headed over to Equius with a tray that still, despite the height of her jump, contained a clutch of circuitry. "How's it going?" she asked. She was covered with purple-black oil that looked like it had burst out onto her entire right side.

"Well enough, considering this a thrice-redundant system," Equius declared. "This engine controls the... out of the light, please, Nepeta." Nepeta set down the try and then moved over to Equius' opposite shoulder, practically lounging on his back. "This engine controls emergency backup rotors for the physical roofing system. The others are working just fine, considering they're not actually hooked up to the system yet, but this one is being more trouble than it's worth. I may have to replace it entirely."

"Don't want Jack to get away after we've caught him!" Nepeta concluded. She stood up and drummed a quick beat on Equius' bare back with gloved hands, leaving behind uneven oil prints. She then paused and, as though unwilling or incapable of just standing there, caroused about the platform for a moment before glomping Jade and pretending to fall asleep.

"...Jade?" Nepeta asked sleepily as Jade tried to meet Rose's eye in a plea for help.

"Y-yes?"

But all Nepeta had to say was "Mmmm..." before falling asleep again.

"...Perhaps you should go speak to Vantas about a new task, Nepeta?" Equius asked over his shoulder.

"Nope!" she said happily. "Just hafta—" Somewhere up on Tavros' level, a pipe exploded loudly. A sound not unlike that of a steaming kettle broke through the air. Rose just managed to overhear Nepeta's anticlimactic "...Whuh-oh," before covering her ears. The sound died under the repeat sound of buckling metal, and Rose freed her ears just in time to hear "Bye Jade!" before Nepeta darted up the ladder three rungs at a time. Whatever the problem was, she had soon patched it with a trip to the nearest set of valves. Karkat watched her as she worked and only after did he unleash the lecture he had been holding in. "AND ANOTHER THING!" Nepeta just smiled at him. As he continued, she outright set her elbows up on his shoulders and her head on her hands as though his shoulders were a table on which to lay. She pushed back her hair and nodded along with what he was saying, big eyes and twitching nose focused, like he were the most interesting thing in the world. Then, all at once, she gave up all pretense and blew a pink bubble of gum in his face.

"Hey, hey, don't you get that sticky crap anywhere near me," he said.

Nepeta reached out to brush at a smudge on his face. "But you're already covered in sticky crap!" she chirped. "And poor little red scritchies," she cooed, tickling at his cheek and leaving behind more of the oily substance. A sly grin took over her face then, and Nepeta slowly leaned forward to whisper something in Karkat's ear. Rose could not make out the exact words, but she could have not gotten more than a few out before Karkat jumped back. He removing her by the wrists and surrendered his tirade in an embarrassed huff. Nepeta watched him go with a mix of coy amusement and disappointment, but when a droid fluttered near she called to it and bounded off, chattering to it and skipping on one foot alongside the edge of a nearby bridge.

"I will never understand that one," Rose said aloud. Another passing drone beeped in negative reply.

"C4T GOT YOUR TONGUE, K4RK1TTY?" Terezi asked as he passed. She handed her wrench to Gamzee and he absent-mindedly collected it in a hand that already contained two Robertson screwdrivers and a pencil. "Because it sure sounded like she knows how to use hers, the way you flipped the fuck out."

"Shut the—" But he stopped, just like Rose would have expected. Karkat was obviously curbing himself around Terezi those days. Rose suspected that Kanaya had something to do with that, given an caution her girlfriend had passed along the day before, and that only made it more interesting to watch. "I could beat Nepeta in a debate any day," he said instead. "It's just loud."

"I wasn't talking about _talking_ ," Terezi said when he was two steps on his way to freedom. Karkat cringed and clutched a fist too tight to be comfortable. Terezi sauntered over, which was her usual disposition around Karkat those days. As far as Rose understood it, they still had not talked about their relationship, but the mood between them had changed almost as much as it hand between the new couples. Karkat had become the plaintive subordinate, quite unlike him, as though he still clung to the hope that if their dreaded break-up conversation did come, he could do so on more favourable emotional terrain. Terezi had become the unobtainable: deliberately elegant even in lich-torn jeans and a ragged Libra t-shirt, cackling and victoriously grinning through each conversation; sneaking up behind him in the lab and blowing in his ear.

Today she was less subtle: "You know," she said, "you should honestly consider that... 'bath.'"

Rose wanted to tell them both that they were being horrible to one another, but Gamzee of all people had beaten her to it days before, telling them both that they were being "mOtHeRfUcKiNg BiTcHeS!" All this had accomplished (if accomplishing something had been the intent – Rose was having so much trouble telling for sure with Gamzee) was to make Terezi fall back onto the horn pile, kicking her feet in the air and letting out stream of uncontrollable laughter. Karkat had tried to slink away, but Kanaya had caught his attention and called him into the nearby chair. There, she rubbed his back while he repeatedly reassured her that "I don't care. Why should I care?" He slammed his fist onto the desk only once before Kanaya caught it firm. With Rose knowing her quadrant and Terezi grinning upside down at Gamzee, Rose had slipped off find Eridan and Vriska (debating ice cream versus sorbert in the kitchen to the point of violence). There at least, she could tell someone they were an idiot (clearly the winner should have been gelato) without breaking protocol.

Karkat took a step away, and somehow walked smack into Gamzee. Even Rose had not seen how he had managed to get from behind Terezi to behind Karkat, but there he was, plain as day. "Hey best friend," he drawled, sounding almost sad.

"I do _not_ want to talk to you," Karkat said, trying to edge past.

"Yeah, I know," Gamzee said, frowning. "I was just hoping you might wanna come chill tonight after our fucking waldorf historias."

"He's, uh, making Waldorf salad," Terezi clarified from behind. "I don't think anyone's gonna like it but he doesn't listen to me."

"Gamzee," Karkat said, "when have I _ever_ 'chilled' with you? I'm not going to fucking start now!"

He pushed past and headed up in Rose's direction, as Gamzee called after him. "I just figured you needed to motherfucking chill! motherfucker needs to chill," he repeated to Terezi, who patted his hand as they returned to work. Karkat paused slightly at the sound of Gamzee's tone, but seemed to pushed the thought aside. He vaulted up next to Rose, who had head the quiet tone before and took it easily in stride.

"What are you looking at?" Karkat said toward Rose without even bothering to check.

"A motherfucker that needs to fucking chill," Rose said. He scoffed and tried to push by her as well, so Rose leaned back against the rails and watched him go, at least for a few rungs. "Gamzee hangs out with _Terezi_ after dinner, I hope you realize."

Karkat dropped down to the platform, which reacted as though it was just short of plunging into the pit and take everyone with it. "What?"

"Gamzee hangs out with Terezi," Rose repeated. "He was trying to get you along so you two might patch things up."

Karkat stared Rose hard in the eye, as if he could tell the truth of things through only a stare, but still needed to ask: "...Gamzee?"

Rose pushed him away. "Yes!"

"Why?"

"I don't honestly know," Rose replied. "He... does stuff like that!"

"No he doesn't! But..." Karkat, suddenly conspiratorial and ignoring Rose's earlier motions for personal space, edged closer and whispered. "Tell me really:" he said, "...have I screwed my chances with Terezi?"

"Honestly?"

"...Yeah," Karkat said, suddenly less confident.

"Mm-hm."

"Bullshit!" Karkat spat, and began to restlessly pace. "If you thought that was true, you wouldn't have called me back down here."

"Oh Karkat, don't be so trite," Rose said back, resisting the urge to shout. "You had your chance. _I_ gave it to you! And you blew it! Too many 'sharp pointy rocks'!"

"Hey, hey!" Karkat rounded on her again. "I admit that this once again falls into the ever-expanding bin of Past Me being a traitorous nubsucker! ...I just don't think this mistake's fatal." Rose harrumphed and Karkat continued uninvited. "Hey, you don't know what this is like! You've never had the first girl you've ever... really... _liked_ run off to be with the _clown_!"

"Hey," Rose shot back, "first off, she's not _with_ Gamzee. But if she was, _I'd_ appreciate it if you'd not act like he was such a surprise, because he's my friend, and he's supposed to be yours. In fact, second off: he _is_ still one of your two best friends. He's trying to spend time with you, the least you could do would be to—"

"Has she gotten high with him?"

"...What?" Rose had to try very hard to remind herself just how responsible Karkat had been over the past few weeks, taking charge with John's plan. Maybe he had earned these little outbursts, if more preferably towards some manner of mirror or empty room. "How is that any of your—"

"Have _you_?"

That was it. Rose would have to await the return of her fearless co-leader some other day. "Here's an idea, Karkat," she said, grabbing his shirt by the shoulder. He immediately snapped an arm up to grab her by the wrist. She could feel the strength in his hands far outstripping her own, but Karkat's restraint won out. Somewhere deep inside, he was still the responsible young man Rose would have preferred to talk to, and perhaps realized just how silly he was sounding.

"...you want me to go talk to her instead," he mumbled at last, trying not to make it sound like a question. Rose nodded. "Fine."

Rose followed him to the top of the ladder as he descended. "I think you know from your movies that pity makes all the great leads do stupid things, Karkat,"

"Don't patronize me, Lalonde."

"...Good luck," Rose said at last.

"Yeah," he said. "...Speaking of."

Rose looked up at his cue and jumped back into the railing in surprise, jostling the platform. Karkat clung tight to the ladder below and sent up a string of expletives at her to help his grip. Vriska ignored them both, save to roll her eyes at Rose as she waited for her to recover.

"I swear..." she said. She was floating soundlessly, just above the platform. "Come on, I need your help." Vriska held out a hand to Rose, who eyed it warily.

"I can climb, thanks."

"Ugh, this is f8ster!!!!!!!!" Vriska insisted, and grabbed Rose by the hand. Rose gave up, knowing this would be a senseless battle, and allowed Vriska to loop her arms around her waist. Vriska's dreamself powers were able to lift them both handily. They landed on the platform alongside Eridan, who was muttering to himself as Tavros stood by, looking his usual awkward.

"Alright morons," Vriska said, depositing Rose on the banister such that she had to grab hold of Vriska's sleeve to keep from falling back. "Let's shut this up once and for all. Rose, tell the Purple Wonder here that he can't hog Tavros all the damn time."

Rose, having returned safely to her feet, heaved a heavy sigh. "You must be kidding me. You cannot still be this debate, you _children_."

"Hey!" Eridan snapped, still shirtless and nursing a water bottle of his own, "I was going to go about this nice and mature about it when she started getting her bitch on!"

"That is technically true, if, uh, crude," Tavros said. "But I'd say you were getting just as into it as she was."

Eridan looked hurt. "Oh, come on Tav, it's just because we're all spades is all. wwhat wwas i supposed to do, just stand there"

Rose looked up, from one whiny charge to the other, before settling on the other. "Tavros. Come."

She led him over to the hole in the platform serviced by the up-and-down ladder. There, she stood directly between him and his two friends, who immediately began snipping at one another instead. "Tavros," Rose said. "Want to do everyone here a favour?"

"Well I... I certainly think that could help, wouldn't it?" Tavros said, looking back at the other two. "But I was just going to, you know, leave."

"Pardon?" Rose said, and Tavros nodded.

"Yeah, I mean, Eridan's my matesprit and Vriska's my friend but I think they're just being... uh... stupid. iF I CAN SAY THAT. So I'm going to go spend some time, like, without them."

Rose was agape. She wished so badly that Tavros had been able to find the strength to say that to the Feuding Wonders instead of her, but all the same in the end. "Tavros, I could _kiss_ you! But that's Eridan's job and I couldn't possibly hate you enough right now. Get on, go!"

Despite Rose's purely demonstrative motions to the ladder, Tavros stalled. "Well, that's part of the thing, Rose, because I'm not sure where to, uh, go. I think Gamzee's busy right now, because I can hear Karkat from, uh—"

"...FUCKING DUMBASSES, ALL OF YOU..."

Tavros gulped. "...from here."

"Okay," Rose said. "I've got a new plan. You're supposed to be at the other side of the platform from John, right? So how about you go help Jade with the math she's doing. It'll keep you between her and Sollux and uh... I think she'd appreciate the company."

Tavros gulped. "I'm not so sure I'd be able to make, uh, that any less awkward with all, uh, that." It was only then that Rose noticed the glove-bound handprint Nepeta had left on his shoulder at some point earlier in the day. It almost looked as though she had pinned him down after a tackle, safety concerns thrown to the wind. "...but I could try."

"Whatever you think is best, Tavros," Rose said, and got him to smile just a bit.

"I'll, uh, see you later, guys!" he called, to no response. From there he stepped off the platform and used a combination of Breath and his robot boot's haphazard rocket attachment to descend, characteristically smacking his horns into the floor on his way by.

That accomplished, Rose turned back to the real body of work. "Okay patients," she started. But they were not listening.

"You piece of _shit_ , Vris!"

Vriska rubbed her hands together. "Oooh, ooh, did that one hit a _nerve_ , Eridan?"

"Wait, what did I miss?" Rose asked. She did not allow her her subconscious to remind her that she did not want to know. It was bad for business.

"Eh?" Vriska looked over her shoulder. "Oh. Brought up Feferi."

"Don't you bring my moirallegience into this, Vris, gog dammit." He jabbed her just below the neck with a finger. "And don't you _dare_ compare it to Tav, because I swear—"

"You'll what?" Vriska cooed back. "Poke me again?"

"It's against the rules," he growled, but his frown turned to a sneer after a moment's thought. "Besides, I've learned my lesson, while you've learned shit. I didn't tell Fef how I felt and I got kicked to the curb, so I told Tav how I felt and look what happened, would you? But you... oh, well that's different, isnt it vris? you havent learned a damn thing How long's your list of relationship failures?"

Rose flinched at that, acutely aware of just how close Eridan was to the edge of the platform and, on a more primal level, worried about how neutral she would be if the discussion shifted to Vriska's moiraillegiance with Kanaya. Vriska appeared to be simply taken aback, but started to smile and she slowly stepped toward her kismesis. She caught one of his legs in her instep and pressed her body just short of his. _Oh for the love of God,_ Rose thought. _You idiot, don't just stand there._

"You want to talk about rules and limits, Eridan?" She raised a finger to his face, drawing it past his bare chest as she went, and Rose watched as his anger seemed to seep out of him with each inch she closed between them. Rose briefly tried to figure out a way to communicate to him to step away or, better, to push her away, but her stomach was sick just listening the two of them. The thought of _encouraging_ their hate made it flip. "Here's a limit for you. It'll be our little game! If you touch me again in the next three days, I _break_ whatever you touched me with."

As she barred her teeth at him, Vriska tested Eridan by pushing her finger towards his nose, and he backed off dutifully. Despite, he spoke up. "And if I win?" Eridan asked, showing more gall than Rose would have allowed him. Vriska just laughed.

"Right, Eridan," she said as she climbed over the railing herself. "Right." And then she leapt over and went into an outright dead drop for two storeys before catching herself with her powers.

"...So," Eridan said to Rose, though he continued to scowl at his hands. "What do you think?"

Rose shook herself to chase away the vertigo. _"What do you think?"_ They both said it, independent of one another, and only talking to Kanaya convinced Rose that it wasn't some sort of ashen custom. Only Eridan seemed to be looking for genuine criticism while Vriska seemed to be angling something less substantial. Rose imagined "applause."

"I think you could have done better," Rose said in her standard non-answer. It was all she could provide at moments like this, when she was not in the mood to pretend that two people could honestly be drawn together in currents of bile. "Eridan, Tavros went off to do his own thing."

"Yeah, I saw. I'll see him later." Eridan glanced towards the work Vriska had abandoned before the fight. He crushed his hand into a fist, and Rose could only imagine who he had been picturing, sitting in his palm.

"Eridan," Rose repeated. "Don't fight over him any more, okay? It's not fair."

Eridan shook out his palm. "If Vris can't sort her friends into quadrants, how's that my problem?"

"It's not fair to _Tavros_."

"...oh." Eridan sighed. "Fuck, Roz, you're right, I'm just a little hot-headed." He looked down at the platforms below them. "Where is he? I should tell him I'm sorry."

"Forget it," Rose said, returning to the ladder. "Like you said, you'll see him tonight. I'll talk to Vriska later, okay?"

"Could I?" he said, and when she glared at him, he cheekily supplied: "It'd be a great fucking opening! And besides," he said, "it's not so much a fight _about_ Tav so much as... Okay, fine, Roz." He shook his head in disappointment but then, as he sometimes did, smiled to her.

Rose smiled back out of politeness. He passed smiles on from time to time, usually when she had done something to repair the tack-and-tar-lined bridge that lay between him and Vriska, and she just did not know how to feel about them. As she climbed the ladder that led to John and Kanaya, she was able to see beyond, with no scaffolding in the way. There she caught sight of the purple-reflected light of Jade and Kanaya's False Derse through the partially open hangar doors above. It was all that stood between the Derse Dreamers and the Horrorterrors. Still, considering Eridan and Vriska in the moon's gentle hypnosis, Rose was reminded how Humans had come to the word "lunatic."

John's head popped up in front of the False Derse, his cockeyed grin all she could see for a moment before he finished pressing his glasses back to his face. "Bad day at the office?" he asked, extending a hand to her.

"You have no idea," she said. She held one arm in the other as she looked out over the edge of the platform, the very top of their operation at present. Kanaya was nearby, pulling herself out of the tunnel again. "Hi, Dusty," Rose greeted. Kanaya made a face and blew a lock of hair out of her face, kicking up an unfortunate cloud of the dirt that sent her coughing. Rose could not help but laugh, especially with John there to aggravate her. Kanaya took them both demurely in stride.

Rose remembered how, as they had been sitting back to back under the light of Skaia, talking about Dave, Kanaya had asked if her friends disliked her for the same reasons Rose was worried about Aradia. Rose had tried to clarify.

"Not 'dislike.' Or... at least one certainly hopes 'not dislike.' Losing time with your friend can just... make you neutral where you want to be in favour. I mean, it's your friend and you want to like the stuff they love, even if just a little, but sometimes it's hard."

"With the face-sucking," Kanaya repeated.

"Of course," Rose said, at the time still comfortable with her choice of euphemism. She purled her yarn and tried to gauge Kanaya's reaction to what she was saying. "Of course," Rose said, "you and I haven't been doing any distracting sucking-of-faces, so what could my friends possibly have to dislike?"

Kanaya had replied with a hesitant, stammering laugh; Rose had bitten her tongue and made a mental note to take any inquiries from her nervous new girlfriend more seriously from then on. Wanting to make up for her slip, Rose had turned about. Kanaya's moulting had, at the time, moved off of her back and down to her legs, so Rose decided to gently rub her matesprit's back. Her hand ran over, from smooth bottom-left to the odd partially-armoured new flesh of the top-right. Kanaya had calmed at first before, suddenly, she shifted away. Rose's stomach had sank in worry that she had pushed a bit too far, but she still took her hint and returned to how they had been sitting, if a little further apart. They stayed that way until, time passing, Kanaya returned as they worked.

Ten minutes later, Kanaya had leaned back her head, her straight horn brushing just past Rose's hair. She had sighed, content, and whispered something soft about the world-light shining down on them. It was in that exact moment, as she had reached up to run a finger through Kanaya's hair, that Rose had given up any hope of convincing Dave to surrender more time to his friends.


	18. Chapter 18

"day five h0ur seventeen. d0es this mean i sh0uld c0ntinue with my timestamp plan?"

"Yes, it's helped us keep organized and together so far," Aradia said. Dave just scoffed. "Although, if I had known you were disembodied, I would have known the date."

"0h. d0es that mean this is the 0nly time i will be disemb0died" Aradia's past ghost kept an admirable, equal pace with them as they headed toward past Dave and Jack.

"Don't get your hopes up too high, babe," Dave said to the empty space before them. "But not if I can help it. Even if it's been a while since we saw anyone from the future to prove it."

"h0w characteristically gallant if predictable from y0u david"

"Oh Christ," Dave muttered to his chronological companion. "I forgot you used to call me 'David.'"

The present Aradia smiled to him. "And I forgot you used to be gallant but totally predictable."

"Yeah, now I'm full of nothing but rudeshit surprises." He readied his sword. "Except when I'm grabbing my dumbass past self out of trouble just like how I remember."

"So we'll attack while Jack is still searching with the lattice?" Aradia spoke quickly, as there were only seconds left to decide. "Excuse us," she said to her ghost.

"0f c0urse"

"Why not?" Dave said. "It seemed to work when I was watching me do it."

Past Dave – the Dave of Day Five, Hour Seven – cut, dodged and kept in constant movement, too afraid to land any real blows of his own. His opponent: the robotic shell of Aradia Megido, Day Five, Hour Seven, with one of the demon's energy tendrils impaled through her chest and her spirit ejected. Jack gained very little combat advantage from her, a puppet he did not understand how to control, but with Aradia displaced she could not stop him, and it gave him something to do as he searched through time for fresh powers.

Dave of the present took it all in stride. He knew the next five minutes well enough. He knew that he was supposed to fly between Jack and the action figure he had made out of his girlfriend's past self. He would stare down Jack, cut up some of Jack's chronological net while Aradia kept her old self busy, and when the time was right he would sever Jack's connection to the robot body and both past selves would go home. Only then things would get new and interesting.

"Evening, Jack," he greeted as he arrived on the scene. The demon ignored him: concentration was everything to him when the lattice was up, searching through hundreds of lines for something to leech. Aradia engaged her past self with a crash, showing far less restraint than Dave probably would have, and he could not help but grin.

As Dave approached his target, he could not help but watch the rest of the latticework spreading from Jack's body, searching the time stream. It was habit, he said some times. Professional interest, real Hero of Time stuff. Maybe it was just hypnotic. At the end of one of the more active lines, Dave could make out a rippling shadow. Human-sized — no! Troll. Smaller than him, younger. As Dave watched the figure, the strangest thing began to happen.

Dave knew about as much about synaesthesia as the next ex-friend of Terezi's, even accounting for the times she had tried to force-feed him chalk, but he knew what he was encountering when it happened. As he followed those lines and pictures made out of Jack's raw thoughts, he _saw_ the internal narration that went along with them, like had never happened before. The voice he read was not Jack's.

"I'm four sweeps old today, you know."

It was a young girl's voice, one he had never heard, and yet found familiar. The shadow seemed to reply, and dream-like omniscience told Dave it was typing, but he heard no voice. Rather, the girl's voice seemed to lead to the shadow. She spoke again: "It's polite to say 'happy wriggling day,' Sollux."

Of course. The wavering figure Dave was seeing in the vision was none other than their ever-delightful hacker friend, at a younger age. But while it would make a passable joke, Dave was now positive that the energetic girl he was reading in his ears was not that of a younger Sollux. That meant the speaker, all things being likely, was...

"I think it's fourth dynasty," said another memory, to an older Sollux, one that was drawn even closer to Jack. "But it's possible that it's a seventh dynasty reconstruction, or possibly a mimic of the style from the second renaissance. I'd like to analyze the clay, but I'm not sure I have the tools."

Aradia. Dave realized with a tightened feeling in his chest that he never would have been able to identify her original voice. True, it was likely the voice he was "reading" was not quite her speaking voice, the way any person never really hears their own voice unless from a recording, but it was still a revelation, and it helped Dave realize what was going on. The robot. Jack was absorbing her memories, learning about his opponents. He was using those memories to find his next crop of powers, and he had targeted Sollux. Dave knew well enough to not want to fight Jack armed with Sollux's powers. He knew the guy was just plain dangerous. So why was Jack hesitating? Aradia's memory played out rapidly, toward what Dave realized with a wrench was its original end. His girlfriend died in his head, in force and burns and he had to hear it. Sollux, almost defined in detail, had to see it. But even when Jack saw what Sollux was capable of doing, he did not move his temporal claw more than a few eager inches. He kept his eyes on Sollux even after his guide had lost him.

And then, in the deep past, the Glub hit. Even though it was not real in the physical sense, it overwhelmed his ears. He remembered, more than heard, Aradia trying to call him to attention. He remembered Jack's arms spread wide, with his temporal net like a glowing second set of wings, and his future self stood stock-still like an eclipse. The Sollux of the past buckled and vomited as he was pulled into the Medium: only then, through Jack's eyes, the eyes of a game construct, did Dave see what Jack was looking for. Deep in Sollux's heart, a flame sparked. A flame the roiled from Dersian purple to Prospitian yellow, and carved itself out into the elemental emblem for "Doom" as he died. Sollux had become a player, and gained a seed of his powers. Only then, did Jack strike.

"Hell no," Dave said before cutting in and severing the tendril at once. Dave felt lucky that Jack was far too distracted to respond. He did not even flinch when the line was cut. Instead, his focus shifted elsewhere.

Jack turned again to Aradia's memory, absorbing it at a rapid pace. "my feelings f0r equius are... derailing my f0cus!" she said. "i have t00 much w0rk t0 d0 to spend time with him and explain things, and yet I find myself drawn. it's a g00d thing we never met in life, as he is far t00 STR0NG for a normal—"

Jack struck out at the Heir of Void's dreamself and Dave dove, intercepted and cut loose the thread before the Demon could seize Equius' powers.

"Aradia," Dave said at a speaking voice, hoping his girlfriend's robotic ears would hear what would send his past self into a rash panic. "He's trying to steal our game powers!"

Jack was not perturbed and continued at once. Dave knew he was too to the lattice. He knew that the moment Jack lost interest in this game he could turn on Dave and seize him like he had the Aradia of Day Five. That would be the end of it. His human body would be impossible to repair the way Equius had had to repair Aradia's soul bot, but he pressed on. Jack did not seem to be waiting for the dead any longer. He pressed on against the living, the dreamself, and worse. It would take days to do the work on the timestream it would take to prevent this from happening again, but for now all Dave could do was cut Jack off at the source. He could not let Jack have the players' powers, now that his plan was so clear. Aradia's memory rolled on.

"Nepeta seems perfectly capable of containing Equius on her own—" Cut.

"My Exile seemed to think Vriska needed a lesson in humility, or at least that was how he phrased his machinations. Having a better perspective on this than I think he understood, I obliged with a firm ha—" Severed.

"The Humans' leader is named John, I think—"

Dave whirled, slicing through not just the searching line but the one holding the puppet Aradia as well. Jack did not notice. "You try to touch my friends again and I'll stop playing nice, Jack!" The Demon did not respond, or knew better. The next fishing line was already out. Dave turned back to the others as he took stock in the situation. "Go!" he shouted to his past self. "Get her back in her 'bot and go!"

Jack was now cycling through what he had forcefully pulled from Aradia's memory at that last moment. Dave could only hope that he had not absorbed enough to identify all sixteen of them through the time stream. "I'm starting to have peculiar suspicions about Gamzee—" Severed.

"The Witch and Sylph of Space are working excellently together—" Slice, slice.

"she d0es n0t seem to realize the c0nsequences 0f her 0wn c0urse of action"

Dave saw the rippling past image of Rose for only a moment before something felt wrong. The more he and Jack stared, the worse it became and as one they clutched for their heads as a _repulsion_ seemed to form up against them, wall of bars in sick-green and nausea. It passed after a moment, and Jack pressed on.

"The Horroterrors are getting to her, word by word, but the False Derse is almost complete and then we will have words with her."

Jack sent out the tendril again, at full speed, but the repulsion started up anew. A symbol seemed to form in Dave's mind, the barrier's true appearance like a... branch of sorts, but he could not make it out before something new passed before him. It was an all-too familiar face, too clear to be from the past. His brother's face looked out at him from the memory of Rose, eyes replaced with coals.

"Dave," greeted the incubus aspect of the Horrorterror of Many Minds, the aspect Dave knew best. In that off-voice Rose had supplied him, he spoke to them both. "Jack. Can I make a suggestion?"

And then Dave felt a tug on the back of his shirt. Aradia yanked him hard away from his opponent and gave him a hard shake. "Dave!" she shouted to his face, and Dave felt the real world snap back at once. He tasted bile and blood, and the incipisphere spun about him. When he finally found focus it was toward his girlfriend, but her plastic eyes were no longer on him, but gawking at Jack. He turned and saw that their opponent had likewise been flung back, every strand of his temporal net grabbed as if by a massive hand that led them off through time to the same point. Guided by that hand, they seized on the same target, and Jack began to shine with starlight.

The ghostly image of the possessed began to form about the demon, but different than Dave had ever seen before. The spirit Jack inadvertantly held glowed with power at the end of a hundred temporal lines, but for the first time did not struggle against its captivity. Its power flowed freely into the Sovereign Slayer and spread out like Feferi's lusus had not been able to do. Lines of light spread out in a matrix and a form grew in between: a great and mighty body, held strong and high on a dozen legs with cloven hooves, each stocky and built, yet twisted to fit a frame the size of a warehouse. White fur thick as a field of grass grew on every surface where it was not cut by a hundred gruesome blows sheared to the muscle and bone. Two horns sat on a head atop a long neck, horns twisted seven times into a spiral that drove out at its end into gore-points like oaks. Five eyes, spread about the massive head in an arc, stared down.

Aradia's grip tightened on Dave's shoulders but her voice spat emotion her robot body rarely conveyed. " _ARIES_."

" **maid 0f time** " said the Denizen of the Land of Qwartz and Melody. " **as i f0rt0ld i live again unchanged and stagnant as the m0untain** "

"Just a ghost," Aradia said. "And now a puppet."

" **like y0u** " Dave held on to Aradia's arms, still trying to find his balance, but he felt that if he did not this creature might have well made her wrench away at once. " **but different. y0u a l0st s0ul and pawn of the great detestation and pr0spit** " The Denizen raised up its neck to its full height and shook its head, snow falling down and hovering in the strong not-air of the Incipisphere. " **i have risen ab0ve. i serve the black throne of derse thr0ugh its archagent and i reunite with him n0w in vict0ry as my master** " Somewhere beyond its shimmering, semi-transparent form, Dave could make out Jack, in triumph. " **the situati0n has trimmed to its ideal. it is stagnant and unchanged. pr0spit has fallen and its g0d left infertile. derse has achieved its perfect stasis** "

"Ugh," Dave said. "Do they all sound like this, with the fucking lecture? I thought it was just mine."

The Denizen lowered its head. " **knight 0f time the l0st hepaestus will f0rge again as derse has f0rged the perfect end t0 all** " And then he bleated, like a roar, like a ram could echoed and magnified. " **in perfect timelessness!** "

Dave, realizing he was clinging to Aradia as he had been during his nausea, raised one hand. "Okay, that's it with the Final Fantasy bullcrap."

"I agree," Aradia said, her earlier rage vanished in synch with Dave's own. "I have had enough of Dersian rhetoric over the course of time it took to dispatch of Aries and his fellows."

" **my new king has struck d0wn y0ur th0usands maid 0f time** "

"Hm," was all Aradia said. "A thousand ways that didn't work."

" **cheek** " The Denizen leaned so close that it was almost breathing on them. Though it was nothing but a ghost, Dave could swear that he could feel its breath. It was frigid. " **call y0ur legi0ns i w0uld be rid 0f you at last** "

"No."

"No?" Dave asked.

Aradia shook her head. "The odds of there being any of our temporal selves left to fight are unlikely. Think about it. We haven't fought this fight yet. From here on out, if we live, we'll have to spend all of our spare time trying to keep Jack from ever binding a Player or a Denizen again. There won't be any more temporal selves left to help us." Dave could swear he could see Jack grinning. It was win/win for him.

Aradia was grim. "But more importantly, I've got another chance to see you off, Aries. Time to do it properly, I think." And she kissed Dave and broke from him, floating toward the monstrosity Jack had summoned. She was like a gnat before an elephant, and as she approached Dave felt the strangest sensation. _Wind_ blew through the Incipisphere, and on it a chill like he had never known in Texas. Cold winds, below freezing, began to whip and spin about them, catching Aradia's hair in the mix. Dave could do nothing but watch her go.

She turned her head back. "Are you coming?"

"Oh, do I get to come too?" he asked. "I thought you were making a point."

"Oh no," she said. "You can definitely—"

" **ins0lence! ill crush you b0th and time itself will die!** "

"...that's not even how that works." Dave said. "Does he ever stop talking?"

Aradia held out her arms, bolds of energy charging in her palms. "he has a script, but it is very long"

"All right, only one way to shut this up." Dave drew his sword. "C'mon, Jack," Dave said on his own. "We'll take _ewe_ both on."

"That was awful."

"Shush, I'm nauseous."

Dave could not be certain through Aries' semi-transparent form, but it almost looked like Jack was enjoying himself as much as he and Aradia. He laughed as he listened to their taunts and finally raised his own hand toward them. The puppet responded and the winds picked up. Dave saw his breath catch in the air and wiped the condensation from his brow lest it freeze there, despite the salt. Aries roared and spat snow and ice shards towards them.

" **then die** " the Denizen commanded. " **embrace the end of eternity at the hands of the beast 0f fr0st!** "

Sometimes Dave could swear he could see them: the game mechanics. Perhaps it was just the way Sburb and Sgrub liked to arrange themselves, but there were times he felt he could hear the music in his mind, the way his Bro used to play his retro boom box at full blast while teaching him a throw or a block. He could see the words "BOSS STRIFE" scratch into existence, would get a feeling that he had a good gauge of his opponent's health bar, silly as it all might sound. He had a grasp of everything to the point that it became routine, and he relished the little surprises. He had had no idea that fighting a Denizen again would make him feel so alive. Even though he knew how Denizens were tuned to their player, he could never have predicted how it would feel to be with Aradia as she engaged hers for the first proper time. He had no idea how amazing he would feel to even play bait as she severed it from Jack, or to take the fight to Jack again before he slipped away.

To reach Level 99 after all that was an experience all its own, and there was even a simple relief in how good a hot shower felt after seven hours of fighting a giant yak and the winged dog-man it kept in its stomach. He had no idea how good it would feel to rest in the hall, Aradia slumped next to him in a closer semblance to life than he would have imagined before he got to know her. There was only ten minutes to spare in semi-timeless space, but sometimes ten minutes of sharing inactivity could feel wonderfully like forever, though he'd never admit it. It did not even occur to him that he had forgotten something.

In a battle that swept across space and several times came dangerously close to the lab, Time and Frost had clashed until subtly was buried by magnitude. The true victory had not gone to the Maid and Knight, or to the Sovereign Slayer. A wayward blow, meticulously pre-arranged by impossibly alien minds, had clipped between the Knight and the Beast. Energy had cut towards the lab and cracked the tiniest seam into the dark side of the False Derse that kept the half of them in the lab safely asleep at night. In the end, true victory had gone not to Human or Troll or Dersite, but to the Furthest Ring and Elder God of Many Minds.

* * *

" _Good morning, Rose darling._ "

Rose wakes up in a luxurious castle hall, with a ceiling so high it stretches out beyond sight and sound and little alcoves every ten paces. Each alcove holds a fine marble vase decorated with rainbow flowers. She wakes up standing, walking, but it's been so long since she dreamed that there was no way she could have become lucid. The flowers are spread from red to violet and there are Troll words above the door ahead, below the trident-like symbol of the Empress. In the centre of the crest is another sign, like a branch, that Rose knows she has certainly seen before, but for some reason escapes her. She pushes open the door, though it rises into infinity, and opens into a quiet, tidy dining room, where a white-carapaced woman sits, pouring tea.

"Good morning, Rose darling."

 _Your majesty,_ Rose means to say, though she says nothing at all, and the woman reacts as though she had all the same. She has a ring on each hand: four and twelve, shining with the light of normal jewels, and is otherwise wearing a casual, plain dress and is unadorned. The table before her is a beautiful oak with a short, yellow tablecloth down the middle with a tea set atop: china with pink paint and gold leaf.

"How have you been?"

"...C-cold," Rose says for certain this time. She looks to the left, for the room expands further in that direction, and sees a fireplace waiting there. The queen smiles to her when she looks back, and offers her the opposite chair, which she takes and sits down.

"It's been so long since we had a chance to sit and chat. Hasn't it, Rose darling?"

The teacup and kettle are intricately painted, with the central design matching the trident symbol from before. Where the branch symbol was embossed before, here there is a gap in the pink paint, and if Rose had bothered she could have made it out clearly. She does not, because the symbol is everywhere in her dreams. Rose accepts the tea gracefully. It's an English breakfast tea, not a favourite but certainly suitable first thing in the morning. At the queen's gesture, Rose sits down and settles under the heavy white tablecloth, as the butler serves them both from the food arranged.

"I hear you've formed a matespritship. Tell me about her, would you?"

"Oh, she's wonderful," Rose says. The violet blood finishes serving the musclebeast and the toast with grub sauce and moves on to the Empress. "I wish you could meet her. Would you like to?"

"What about your auspisticeship? I expect good things from you, my dear."

"Oh, they're all right. They're not honestly very good at it." Rose laughs. It seems, conversational. She plays with her fork. "I mean, they want to, but it's how it is." It certainly is. There's less food on their plates. "How have you been?"

"Have you given much thought to the future?"

"Why?" Rose frowns: her mother is not usually so directly intrusive. Rose picks at the musclebeast sausage and cuts off a piece.

"I'd like to think you'd apply yourself, my dear."

Rose drops her empty fork back to the fine china plate in mock surrender, and Vodka Mutini scuffles off the table and down the long hall. Poor cat. He didn't do anything to deserve that. But now there is an act to upkeep, and Rose turns off to the side of her chair and looks away. "I am applying myself."

"You do have a plan?"

"Yes." Asteroid, mousetrap, Eridan jumping off of catwalks, Nepeta kissing Jade behind the ear. It all seems so horribly abstract in this civilized part of the world.

"It won't work."

"Of course it'll work," Rose snaps. Her mother smirks at her from across the kitchen counter, a brandy snifter in hand. "All we have to do is get close to him and—"

"I don't care about the details, Rose darling. It's simply another in a long series of the same mistake."

 _You're wrong._ Rose can't feel the heat of the fire any more, and it bothers her. She should be shivering.

"Sburb was never one to just give up its players if they ignore its purpose. Your friend disrupted the game so Sburb adapted the Sovereign Slayer to compensate."

Rose clutched her arms close to her chest as she shivered. She did not want to look back at her tormentor. "So we kill Jack. That's what I just said!"

"You can't kill the final boss without playing the game, Rose. Not the way you've been. You tried to break the game. You had help, and it would have worked, but now you've abandoned your help and Sburb won't stand for that. _You_ can't win."

" _We_ can." Rose is not sure where that outburst came from, but it gives her the strength to stare down the Black Queen. She reaches a hand up to her own right shoulder, feeling like she had a friend there. She knows she's alone, but it's reassuring.

"What's the point of the game, Rose?"

Do carapaces ever move their mouth? "To... create a universe."

"No, that's the game's function. Something that could have run on its own. What is the purpose of the _game_?"

"Why am I here?" Rose demands. She takes to her feet and feels the heat of the fire to her left, and it makes her wonder why she was still so cold. The other torch to her right is no better. Though she stands her ground, her legs tire. Like she had been running. Like she wants to. But the room is so soothing, she does not want to really run. Sandstone, with firelight casting wonderful highlights and shadows in a way electric lights could never manage. Frescos line the walls and the throne beyond is of perfect ancient craftsmanship. The branch symbol lies above it – Rose does not notice.

"Rose."

His hand is so heavy on her shoulder. So heavy. Her legs are even more tired. It would be so much better to sit, but she knows she shouldn't. She has to look up so high to see his face.

"Take out your wands, girl."

She does. Not the Quills of Echidna. The other wands. The ones John folded into her hand and asked her to put away at the top of her tree. She feels an odd sensation, weightlessness and the feel of light touches on her body like a shower of gravel. She has her wands. Carefully she passes one to her opposite hand, but it's so hard to move that hand when his hand is so heavy.

"I know you want out, Rose. I know your friends want out. So leave. Take out your wands and live."

"What do I have to do?" she asks. His eyes are so deep-sunk, like he doesn't want her to look into them. "...I know you."

"It's been so long since we had a chance to sit and chat. Hasn't it, Rose darling?"

Rose gasps in air. "I... kn-ow you." Her legs are so tired, his hand is so heavy, her chest is so sore from breathing so fast. He squeezes her shoulder. So hard.

"I think we'll do it more often from now on."

A memory tugs at Rose as she looks at this king, the symbol just beyond. The voices she had created in her head for people she had never known, echoing. A memory tugs at Rose at just the edges of her psyche. Dead faces, lost faces, familiar faces and strange...

She can't breathe.

The world grows black around her, and she swears the torches burn out. A crawling black sinks out from beyond his face, out and around, closing tight and again. To keep from falling she reaches out to hold him by the waist. "How do I get out?"

"I already told you. All I said was that you could not do it without me. Should I tell you again?"

Rose nods as her stomach turns, and a strange thought enters her mind. He's doing this. If she can stop _him_ she'd be free. Her hands grip her wands behind his back, but she makes sure to keep her eyes on the pits he calls eyes. Pits that glow with dead firelight and are suddenly, genuinely warm. And then she's falling.

" _KILL JACK NOIR._ "

Rose feels the lurch of power shoot out from her wands before she's even done thinking about using them. Power lances out, strikes and explodes with impressive force, considering her own weakness. Rose wakes up standing. Gamzee's jaw doesn't close as he stares at her, his arm steaming heat, and he rolls off of the solid horns and into the slag of the rest of them.

"...mOtHeR... fUcK..."

And then there's a sharp blow across her head, and Rose is unconscious before she can hit the ground.

"Yes. I do think we'll do it more often from now on."

* * *

Rose woke only a few moments later, and does so only to silence and a leering Troll face.

"Hi Rose," Terezi said. Her smile did not break even when she tapped Rose twice on the nose with the red-bloody tip of her cane. Rose tastes the now-putrid taste of Gusher still lingering in her mouth. "How many fingers am I holding up?" Terezi asked, raising her blurry free hand.

It was three, but Rose was having trouble getting that information from her eyes to her mind. "I... I don’t... what?"

Terezi immediately slapped her. "How many fingers this time?"

"Well it’s not going to be any easier now!" Rose snapped, trying to force herself to a sitting position only for Terezi to slam her back to the ground.

"...oh," Terezi said, mindless of her own actions. "Do Humans not get more focused when you’re in pain?"

Somewhere in the distance, Rose heard Jade's voice. "No!"

And Terezi began to chuckle. "Oh. Heh, sorry Dave."

Dave answered, though he sounded sort of busy while he was saying it. "Yeah, it explains a lot, doesn’t it?"

At the sound of his voice, Rose realized what direction it was coming from. "...Gamzee!" she shouted and lurched up again. Terezi grabbed her hard and pinned her down a second time. "...Where are my wands?" Rose asked instead. She could smell it. Rubber and meat. She could smell rubber and meat.

Terezi outright laughed. "Not with _you_!"

Rose looked about and realized she was on the transportalizer in the main lab, head facing toward Kanaya's side of the room. The others were all standing around, looking at her or toward the horn pile, where she saw John working for a moment. She could not see past him but she could see Gamzee's arm, or what she thought was Gamzee's arm. Purple-black. John shifted Gamzee and she was sure. Something purple-black sticking out near where his shoulder should be. He was conscious, and he smiled up at John and then to her.

"Oh... heya gally," he said, before Rose's view was cut off by a boot.

"HOW THE HELL LONG HAVE YOU BEEN TALKING TO THEM?" Karkat dropped down next to the platform and grabbed her face, slamming her head to the ground once for good measure. "HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN PUTTING EVERY SINGLE FUCKING PERSON IN THIS BUILDING AT RISK FOR YOUR OWN GODDAMMED JOLLIES?"

Voices. The faces of the God flickered past Rose's vision in pain, but what remained was worse: Karkat's hissing voice in the back of her mind. Karkat's voice was breaking in his moult, like Eridan's and Tavros' and Vriska's had before him. While the others' seemed to have passed in time, Karkat's was fresh and new and the undercurrent hiss spoke to her of hunter and death. Karkat had her surrounded all at once, and her body screamed that it could not move and its back was against the wall. She began to hyperventilate again.

The others started shouting out against Karkat as Rose tried to keep her focus. She was able to make out Terezi best of all, since Terezi was still sitting on her chest. "Hands off my prisoner," she said, and pushed him off with her stick, a little more indignantly than Rose felt was procedure. Kanaya was the one that pulled him off of her entirely, and Jade who pulled her off of him. Dave came in their wake, looking haggard but alert. Rose did not know what was going on any more.

"Gamzee," she sputtered. Dave shrugged, and Rose's breath was cut short again. Something primal cut through her confusion as the scene moved on around her. A little voice, an impulse at the back of her mind, spoke up with the only clarity she had left. _Dave keeps me safe,_ it said. It was hardly simplistic. In better days, days when she was not confronted with Horrorterrors and angry pubescent Trolls, it just a fact in her brain. It was a label outlining his patrol in her memory. _Dave and Aradia keep us safe,_ and all that implied. But Aradia was not there, and this little line was all Rose had in sanity. "Dave," she repeated. "... _help_."

From his crouched position, Rose could see over the top of her friend's shades, and saw scared red eyes beyond, but he nodded. "Pyrope," he said. "Truce?"

Terezi looked about. "Yeah, okay," she said. She jumped to her feet and lifted Rose up with her. She was already one step away before Rose spoke again.

"Not the trans... not the..."

"Of course we're not using the stupid transportalizer," Terezi said as she hefted Rose to her shoulder. "Come on." Up ahead of them, Dave started toward the main door. They passed so close to Gamzee, but Dave made a point of interposing his body as Terezi led the way out. Rose had to settle for Kanaya. She looked like she was waiting for Karkat to make another move, to tear his arm off. Rose hated that Kanaya's feelings for her had overrided her trust of Karkat, but that was just lingering consciousness under a mess of sick and worry. Kanaya's eyes were not watching Karkat, but Rose, like she was going to cry. But she stayed. Terezi looked up at her and she stayed.

"Where the hell are you going?" Karkat shouted at them, and Terezi laughed again.

"INT3ROGAT1NG THE PR1SON3R!"

Rose felt the eyes on her as she left, and even felt the tickle of Vriska's mind on her own, but Vriska had never been able to probe further than that. It smelled so awful, even into the hall. Rose shut her eyes in a failed attempt to shut out the scent, and she let Terezi guide her into the hall and duck down into the access tunnels.

"S-shut the hatch," Rose pleaded once they were all in. Dave did so as requested and they pressed on. At the first ladder it seemed like they had given up, but Rose found the strength to climb it unassisted. She was surprised it was even there, but the weakness was self-imposed and deep down she knew she could still climb. She asked that Dave go up first. _Dave keeps me safe._ She wanted him to be there when she got up.

"Ow," Terezi said as they passed down another nameless passage. "Have to excuse a poor blind girl. I've never been here before and it's really musty."

"I'm so sorry," Rose said. "I..." And then she stopped. She had to put out a hand to force Terezi to stop with her, but her legs were so tired. Her hand caught on a rusty beam and she slipped down, pulled up against the pipes that ran against the back wall and began to cry. "So sorry." The others exchanged glances and, Terezi first, sat down beside her.

"Gamzee?" Rose repeated as the words found their way back to her lips.

"John thinks he can replace the arm," Dave said. "He's got some weird ecto-healing plan he came up with Karkat that just might work. I mean, if he doesn't Equius probably can, but you know."

But Rose was not listening. "Oh god, I took off his arm. I... Oh no..."

Rose felt an arm on her back as she started to cry again. A small hand: Terezi's. She rubbed her back gently for a moment before pulling close, and Dave did the same. Her friends did not speak to her and certainly not to one another, but Rose felt snug held between them. She wiped her eyes and nose against her sleeve.

"Lalonde," Terezi said when it seemed that there was a break in the tears. "How long _have_ you been talking to them?"

 _Terezi,_ her mind said, still confounded and lost. Stupid plans, law and order, and yet, bread fights. _With Terezi, things are normal._ "I don't know," she said honestly. "He shows up in the transportalizer."

"Ugh, of course," Terezi said. "That's why you kept avoiding them. I figured you were just being 3CC3NTR1C!" And she flashed a smile, and Rose felt a laugh in spite of herself.

"And today he was just there." Rose shook her head. "I hadn't seen him in weeks, and he was just _there_."

"Were you asleep?" Terezi asked.

"I don't know," Rose said honestly. "I mean, after he started talking to me, yes. He told me to kill Jack, that I couldn't do it without his help because we had been 'ignoring the game.'"

"Did he make Gamzee look like Jack?" Dave asked.

Rose clung closer to Terezi. _Normal._ She could speak here. "No. ...Maybe. I was trying to kill _him_."

"Well," Terezi said, "I can shove that down Karkat's throat, if nothing else."

Rose buried herself closer to Terezi. "I'm so sorry," she choked out. "He's right, I put everyone at risk... 'm so sorry."

"Hey, shh," said Dave, "you don't gotta talk. Fuck, you're making me nervous." It was probably meant to be a joke but it struck harder than intended. He adjusting his hand to account for her position, held her arm. So gentle. Thank god, so light. And Terezi, if reluctantly at first, held her firm as she needed.

"Do you have any idea why he just showed up?" Terezi asked, almost professionally. Rose shook her head.

"Well," said Dave. "There was a lot going on last night. I mean..." Flounder, recover, sweet catch: "...on the sensors."

"Dave," Terezi cut in. "I know."

"Oh," Dave said. He sheepishly pulled back in an attempt to recover his cool, but Terezi caught his arm and gently pulled it back to Rose, where she brushed it lightly with her fingertips as the only thank you she had the pride to give. Perhaps humbled, Dave began to give out some of the details of the night before. His story ended abruptly, after ten minutes or so when he got back to his feet.

"I'll have to leave you with that gripping, mutton-filled break for a bit," he said. "But I've run out of seeing-my-friends-and-girlfriend time and have to get to work. I'll send someone back to get you both out of here, if you want."

"Yeah, whatever coolkid. Go," Terezi said, and Rose nodded. For a while, they were left alone there in the dark, before another sound called their attention and another friend approached.

"Dave needs to, I don't know, make a map to where he wants people to go instead of letting them get lost and stuff." John's head popped up by the nearby ladder. "Oh hey, there you are!"

Rose looked up at him, breathless, but her mind was still too fogged. It was Terezi who had to ask the obvious question. "John," she said only as a cursory greeting. "Gamzee?"

"He's okay," John said at once, and Rose felt tears slipping out onto poor Terezi out of sheer relief. Terezi reached up a hand to John, who took it in surprise and got a squeeze from the Troll girl for his efforts. "I mean, he's stable. Kanaya had to amputate, though, but he's stable!" He clapped his hands together and rubbed them with the fervour of the mad scientist Rose used to tease him that he would become. "We're going to have a new arm cooked up for him in no time! Right now he's got his best friend bitching him back to health in the proud Troll medical tradition, but— H-hey Rose."

Rose clung her arms around John's neck, still crying. _John's my leader. If I trust him... it will be okay._ That one was childish, Rose had known John for so long, and childish things were so much easier to grasp. John broke out of the hug and cupped Rose's face.

"Are you okay?" he asked. She shook her head. "Dave says you were trying to attack the bad guy. I don't really blame you for that."

"You believe me?" she asked.

"We all believe you!" he insisted, but Rose did not believe him even as lost as she was. Terezi changed the subject quickly, perhaps detecting John's utter inability to lie for long.

"Can we see him?" she asked.

John hesitated. "I... don't see why not."

Rose did not much remember the visit to Karkat's ecto laboratory after the fact. Almost everyone else was there, but Rose was not prepared to count. She knew that Dave was not there, nor Kanaya. Everyone looked up at her cautiously as she came, worst of all Nepeta, who hid behind Equius. Jade came up to hug her, she remembered, and Karkat was silent and Rose was not listening. The only speaker she remembered was Gamzee.

"Hey Rosie," he had said. He had burns on his face, and the rest was covered in a blanket. There were things bubbling in nearby canisters. "You've got a good mad face but I think I'd prefer not to see it again, eh gally?" It was too much. John led her away, and she trusted him to make things okay.

"Do you want someone to stay with you?" he asked he settled her on her bed. Her things, which they had found dumped by her sleepwalking at the foot of Aradia's transportalizer, were gathered on her desk.

"No," Rose said. "Sleep."

"Okay," he said, and smiled at her, but as he headed through the door, he stopped. "Rose? I'm going to lock you in. It's no biggie, anyone will be able to let you out if you call."

"Yes," she said. "Yes you should."

It was surreal to undress and shower in her mood. Rose almost did not want to risk the latter, but she felt filthier than she had ever imagined, and the shower did what it could to help. Her mind turned to literature for analogues, but found no comfort. She soon curled up in bed with a soft shirt and panties and settled in. She did not look at her clock, too aware that it was only morning.

She woke some time later to the sound of voices at her door. She could not make them out and did not dare stare at the neon on the opposite side of her room to tell the time. She could identify Kanaya, outright screaming, and Karkat, screaming right back, and Jade and John and Dave. As her ears focused, she only picked up one thing of value.

"She was possessed!" It was Kanaya. Her voice, too, was moult-breaking, perhaps thanks to her utter fury. Rose heard her hiss behind her ear, cornering her like she was one of Nepeta's ratlings. Even Kanaya. Even her voice was a torment. "Isn’t that obvious?"

Karkat. "She was not fucking possessed, she said so herself! I want those things gone!"

"Karkat," John. "If Equius can't snap them, what do you want? Jack's destroyed the Forge."

"She shouldn't have to do _anything_!" Kanaya. "Don't you trust her?"

"You only trust her because you're fucking her!"

"I am _not_!" Kanaya hit the wall hard. "...Karkat..."

"You think I don't _want_ to trust her? I trusted her and she blew my best friend's arm off!" Karkat said. "What the fuck do you want me to do?" Silence. "Huh, Kan?"

"...I want to see her," Kanaya said.

"Like hell."

 _I'm hot,_ Rose's body said, not interested in the shouting that followed. Her conscious mind, laser-focused on survival, confirmed and agreed. _Fever,_ it said, or certainly enough like it. She kicked off her blankets and immediately fell back to sleep, undisturbed by dreams or voices: real, hissing or Horrifying.

When Rose woke up, she lay in one critical moment of silence where she did not remember what had happened before and simply existed in drowsy normalcy. It was like a bad morning back at home. Any moment now her mother would come in with scratch-made chicken noodle soup, proclaiming that Rose could only be sleeping in because she was deathly ill, and Rose would be too tired to counterattack. In that way, sleep had done its job: when her memories came back, she was back in control. She reached up and checked her forehead, but her fever, if any, had passed. Relieved, she rolled over and briefly considered returning to sleep before she discovered that she was not alone.

"Kan," she whispered. At once she pinched her own arm, wanting to be sure this was really Kanaya and not the God again, but the pain was real and Kanaya smiled to her from the desk.

"...Hi," she said.

"Hi," Rose replied. She did everything she could to bury the echo that came to her, that undercurrent hiss. She reached down and pulled up a sheet from the foot of her bed, suddenly aware that she was under-dressed.

"Sorry about that," Kanaya said, and the noise was still there. "I realized you would not want to be disturbed." _Stop it,_ Rose told her instinct as it squealed on about the predators voices surrounding it. _This is Kanaya, she is not going to_ hunt _me._ Kanaya set down the book she was reading on the desk, next to the items from Rose's sylladex that were now neatly stacked in piles.

"It's all right," she said. "...Why are you here?"

"Because I trust you," Kanaya said. "And so do the rest of us." She reached over to the desk and picked something up. Rose could not help but notice her lipstick, clearly on display by the other side of the desk, where she could clearly see it, and out of Kanaya's quick reach. Solemnly, Kanaya handed her the Thorns of Oglogoth.

"Wh—no!" Rose pulled back from the needlewands. "These should... Kanaya, these should be _destroyed_ , Kanaya!"

"We tried," she said. "And failed. Your dark friend has seen to that. I said I wanted you to have them back. Many of the others agreed."

"Kan..." Rose said, breathless. "... _No_."

"Please, Rose," Kanaya said. "This is what we decided."

Rose shook her head. "Who...?"

"Myself," Kanaya started. "John, Dave, Jade, Terezi, Eridan—"

"Eridan!" Rose could not even imagine it. "Why?"

"He was very impassioned," Kanaya said. "Said he was already trusting you with his life so he could certainly trust you with 'a bunch of crazy advanced science sticks.'" Rose shook her head again, but Kanaya continued. "Equius seems to trust you as well, and Feferi, and Tavros. A simple majority vote."

"Tavros! But... his moirail! Kan." Rose's mind shifted, and she pushed aside the wands. "How's Gamzee?"

Kanaya looked for a moment like she was thinking, and Rose worried about her response at first, until she heard it. "He is... in a vat. I do not quite understand the procedure, though John tried his best to explain. Something about cloned stem cells and a number of game concepts I did not follow with my mastery limited to Space. John is monitoring him closely, Feferi and Nepeta make frequent trips to contribute, but if anything goes wrong John has promised to allow us to proceed with a robotic arm at once. Either way... he _is_ going to... live."

Rose slumped back to bed, relief pouring over her like a wave, but when she looked up she remembered the wands.

"Why is no one mad at me?" she whispered.

"Several people are mad at you," Kanaya said. "I never said otherwise. You didn't tell us about these frequent visits from your tormentor, and Karkat in particular is furious. But he has calmed down. As a matter of fact, I got my first 'Are we still friends?' plead today, after he accused us of..." Kanaya coughed. "Well, suffice to say you missed an excellent show."

Kanaya leaned in. "What I said was that they trust you. The only votes solidly against you were from Aradia and Karkat, for strictly technical reasons. Urm..." Kanaya shrugged. "And Vriska. She was trying to spite Eridan, though, I think. As I said, he was adamant."

"Why not give them to someone else?" Rose asked, though somehow knowing that her friends would not have ignored such a simple solution.

"Because as loath as I am to lay this on you, we believe you may be our best defence against your tormentor," Kanaya said, and while Rose could appreciate her honesty, the rock in her stomach was not getting any smaller. "While you've0 proven susceptible to this 'Terror in the past, we realize that the risk that the fifteen of us could easily be worse is be very high. There is an ugly fear that Feferi may have been seeded for this purpose via her Lusus, though we did... not exactly broach the subject in front of her."

The wands were made of carved oak, Rose saw. She had never bothered to look at them before. They had so quickly become absorbed into her plan that they had become common and normal, just like her tormentor would have wanted. Lines were carved about them, like tentacles and thorny brambles at once. "He wants me to... open the universe," Rose explained, the words slipping out. "Anyone could do that, though it'd probably kill them. If... If Terezi hadn't hit me..." Kanaya did not react, which Rose found impossible. How could she know this, if Rose had not known it herself until this very moment? Dave? Dave seemed the best answer. If she had already done this, in an alternate timeline, he might have already had to clean up after her. An uncomfortable feeling began to well up as she considered the possibility until it seemed like a near certainty. Rose imagined the bramble carvings writhing under Kanaya's hands. She would have to speak to Dave, and soon.

Kanaya again raised the wands towards Rose. "Rose, these are terrible things, but... they are a gift from your allies. Please. I know you'll keep them safe."

The echo, that sound that spoke in Kanaya's voice and frightened Rose on such a primal level, was like a shriek in context with the wands. Whispering voices and dark magic. Rose had had her fill of them. But Kanaya held out her hand firm, and what could Rose do if not trust her? She sighed, but she reached out a hand. _Please,_ she prayed, to she could not imagine who or what, _don't let me regret this._

And she took back the wands. Kanaya smiled to her, as reassuring as she could be, and then handed her back the items from her sylladex, one by one, until it was buried once more. It became a routine, over the hundreds of items she had to replace, to take them mechanically from Kanaya such that when the last was placed, she did not notice until Kanaya reached out and took her hands instead.

"Now," she said, "I think a walk would do you well."

And it did. Except for a dismal moment where Rose insisted to Kanaya that the lock be kept on her room during the night, Rose changed in private and headed out with her girlfriend to lead her. Many of the others were back in the lab when they returned.

"Rose," said a tiny voice. She looked down and saw Nepeta on all fours below her, playing with a small stuffed toy. All sign of the damage to the horn pile nearby had been removed, and Rose could not help but notice that Nepeta had stuffed a number of stuffed toys under it to inflate its size. Kneeling, Rose sat down before her and waited for some response, only to be overblown as Nepeta tackled her with a hug. "I was so _scared_!" she sniffed. "I know you didn't do it," she said. "...Jade says you didn't do it. Equius says you didn't do it. Karkat says you're—"

"'Negligent,'" said the man himself. "Hey moron."

Rose looked him in the eye. "C'mon, oh fearless leader. Surely I deserve more than that."

"Like hell," he said. "I know the difference between fucked over and fucked in the head, now that I've... thought about it." He harrumphed, not even passing off the blame to his past self. Nepeta gave Rose another squeeze. "But if you so much as smell this guy I want a full report first damned thing, you understand? If you talk to anyone but me or Egbert first I'll have your tongue."

"Yes sir," Rose said.

"...Day off for work," Karkat said. "I'll see you first fucking thing in the morning, of course." Rose nodded. She could not believe it.

She could still not believe it when they went to the ecto lab. Eridan was there when she arrived, to support Tavros as he waited by Gamzee's side. The lab was quiet, except for Tavros, who was softly reading a story to Gamzee from a book. "I hear you're my champion," Rose said sheepishly as Eridan approached.

"Bah," was all he had to say. "I was just backing up Kan is all."

"You really..." Rose tried to remember Kanaya's exact phrasing. "You really trust me with your life?"

"What?" Eridan was confused. "What do _you_ call this shit with me and Vris? Because if you don't have my fucking back, Roz, I swear..."

Rose smiled to him, genuinely like she had never done in her auspisticeship, and hugged him. "...Thank you," she whispered. "I don't deserve it."

"Fuck, there's no sense in arguing that," he said. "... 's just silly."

"How's Gamzee?" Rose asked after a time. She could see him, floating there in the vat of strange fluid mixed with a light but colourful touch of sopor slime, dressed in a bathing suit from who-knew-where and a breathing mask. His arm was already half grown back, if Rose understood it, and she began to wonder just what time of day it actually was. If it was just the afternoon, like she seemed to think, John had done remarkable work. She even admired the setup. John would have appreciated any Star Wars comparisons, so she intended to make them, secretly hoping there'd be some way to work the Christmas Special into conversation since she knew that was his favourite.

"I think he's gonna be okay," Tavros said, his eyes not actually leaving his moirail. "Thanks for, uh, coming Rose. I know he'd appreciate it."

"Tavros," Rose said, "this is never going to happen again, I _swear_ I will not let it happen."

He smiled. "Aw, I know that, Rose. I know you wouldn't hurt him for real." Rose looked up at their suspended friend and wondered that same thing over in her mind. Through the translucent plastic of the mask, Rose noticed that even in unconsciousness, Gamzee was grinning like an idiot.

"I don't deserve this," she told Kanaya later that night. She was smiling again, and had even been laughing with Jade before they had separated at the transportalizer.

"It was never your fault," Kanaya insisted. "What more can I say?"

"Nothing," Rose said. She sat next to Kanaya on her bed and kissed her cheek. The echoing hiss on Kanaya's voice was worse at this private volume, but Rose was already ignoring it. It was her girlfriend's voice. If this is how it has to sound for the next few weeks, Rose was not going to hide from it. She pulled closer, ready to dive into it. "T-thank you."

Though they sat in silence for a time, the couple soon began to talk, and things were almost wonderful. Rose honestly believed that if Gamzee was back among them, she would feel all but free. There would still be guilt to work off, but she was as happy as she could have hoped, considering. Kanaya nestled up against her.

An errant question drew Rose's attention to the book Kanaya had been reading when Rose had woken up. It was one of the books Rose had hoisted on her in the past, and they soon began an eager discussion. As they began to discuss the early story, Kanaya kissed Rose casually on her cheek. When it was Kanaya's turn to talk, Rose felt well obliged to return it and followed with another towards her ear. When they turned to the second chapter, which was markedly dull but important to the plot, Kanaya settled in on Rose's shoulder. From there, she would stroke her cheek or arm, or kiss her lightly from time to time. In a pause in the discussion, Rose turned about completely and nuzzled her nose against her girlfriend's.

"You've been so wonderful today," she said. "All of you have been wonderful, but you..." She felt Kanaya's breath tense on her lips. "...I can _thank_ you." Rose had planned on kissing her, she wanted to, but some hesitation or cowardice pulled her aside, emotionally and physically. Instead, she planted a kiss just to the side of Kanaya's lips and began to trail them down her neck. If Kanaya had detected the sudden change in plans, she did not well reply, and gave a happy murmur as Rose kissed her in the curve of her neck, as she might well have predicted.

Somehow, the conversation continued. Rose supposed they honestly did want to talk about the book on some level. They were still eagerly discussing characterization when Kanaya drew a finger down Rose's side, errantly to her waist, cold fingers warming against her skin where her shirt was cut too short, but going no further than to just that far. There was still a line, a strict and even dangerous line that neither of them would dare cross, and they approached so warily that it seemed they might never know where to find it, but that was the wonderful game. Their whispered conversation assured that Rose was haunted by the undercurrent whisper at all times, and despite her fantasies it never became a welcome force, even if it enwrapped her in "Kanaya." She ignored it, and its pestilent tearing at her primal instinct. Happily, Kanaya was doing well enough at enwrapping her on her own, pressed to the bed and one another.

The feel was surreal, as they never admitted what they were doing in conversation. The closest they came was when Rose hissed Kanaya's name involuntarily as her girlfriend kissed her just behind the ear. Kanaya left not long after that. It was late, and technically the conversations and excuses had run out long before. Their lips had never touched; their hands never more than brushed bare skin. While Rose would not have stopped for the world while she was there, after Kanaya had said goodnight she was left with her thoughts and emotions, wondering what on earth had just happened. Contrary to what had just passed, Rose could not shake old feelings of guilt and cold that snuck up from the morning and wished Kanaya was back for a proper conversation. Unfortunately, Rose suspected that if Kanaya returned, talk and psychology would not be on their mind. The room seemed suddenly musty and enclosing. Rose took to her feet, feeling it would be best to step out to get some fresh air.

As she explored Aradia's section of the lab, she passed by the transportalizer. Weak, she almost wished she could use it and re-embrace the old days of simple tortures if it meant today would have never happened. She would be happier seeing Dave's late older brother a thousand times, to be taunted about Lust like some old, forgotten childhood crush given demonic teeth. But she knew she would never again see the simple seven sins personified. She knew that the game between her and the Outer God had changed, forever, like so much else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While writing this, I was enjoying the rough mental picture of Aries as a big, multi-legged, fluffy Arceus. I think that says more about me than I really like.
> 
> I finish this chapter with much trepidation, because it means I'm bearing down on the dreaded 16/A03 18. The forum crowd knows I look on 16 like "a nut that needs to be cracked" because it's... well, complicated. There's so much left to do before then, and only three chapters (two of The Dargon Arc) to use to buy time without looking like I disappeared off the Internet. Like fruit carts. The intermediary chapters are like fruit carts to throw before my, uh, pursuers. I think it's time to stop writing, maybe. My metaphors are broke.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's been edited a few times. Hopefully what's meant to be clear is now clear.

Hm. ’S funny. Thought he fell asleep on the horn pile is all. Not in the motherfucking Freak Show. But there’s fucking posters every which way and he certainly didn’t take them home with him, so he must be back on the Land of Tents and Mirth.

Fucking miracles.

He walks past the ticket booth. Rickety old thing. Everything is faded and worn, like it had been left out in the rain too long for a dozen sweeps on end. There are huge posters. The Bearded Lady. The Hornless Boy. Like hell. Nothing in the circus but imps and liches, but they’re cool. Do a brother a few favours if you ask real nice. So when his best bro asked him to kill his Denizen and get the hell to the gate, he just asked and they pointed him to the dark corner at the back of the tents. The one the Consorts had been babbling about for weeks before the Underlings finally killed them all. Fuck. That felt like months ago. Wasn’t that fucking months ago?

He pushes through the turnstile and the bar breaks off as he tries to push through. He tries to lighten the mood with a little whistling, but he doesn’t have to keep it up long, because the inside of the tent is all bendy mirrors and paint! Motherfucking paint all up and down the walls! Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, violet, and twelve mirrors all set up with distorted stick figures in ’em! Fucker’s an artist, even if it looks like he’s been working with a brush the size of a Troll’s arm. The tenth one looks a little wonky, though. Got a nice indigo drawing on it, for sure, with a splotch of white all over the face, but the glass is all smashed on the right side, the stick figure’s left. The whole frame’s in a pile of glass ankle-high with a bunch of discarded frames behind it. _Guess the artist was having trouble with that one, huh?_ And he laughs about it.

He walks into the next room and there’s another one of those old player pianos, playing _Entrance of the Gladiators_ non-stop like every other one in this fucking planet. Just like he likes, except all tinny and shit, and it skips one of the notes like it doesn’t work or something. There’s a fortune telling machine on the right with its eyes flashing, and some meat-flavoured gum. That’s nasty, but they’re just there to entertain the lineup while they wait for the Freak Show to let them in. There’s this featherbeast behind a glass case on one side. It's got this chalk board beside it with basic math all written up on it. "SMARTEST DUCK IN THE WORLD" it says. Haha, rock on. There’s this metal plate underneath the featherbeast. Every once and a while the plate buzzes like electricity’s shooting through it but the featherbeast doesn’t do shit because fuck, they’ve been here a month and there ain’t nobody running this show. Everything that did show up is an Imp and they don’t get a fucking crap. The dead bird just lays there, little white crawling things poking out from under the feathers. Fucking miracles.

"Hey there little grub-fuckers!" He pokes the glass. "Gonna grow up to be big-ass fucking buzzbugs when you grow up just like your moms and dads, am I right?"

" **wrong.** "  
" **YOU’RE SO FUCKING WRONG, BITCHTITS!!** "

There’s also a giant monster floating above the stage at the back of the room. Didn’t really seem all that interesting, what with all the miracles already close at hand.

" **just gonna get squished.** "  
" **GONNA DIE LIKE EVERYONE FUCKING ELSE** "  
" **because what does it know?** "  
" **DON’T KNOW FUCKING SHIT!!** "  
" **gonna grow up to be a big fucking fly but in the end he don’t get it** "  
" **SHE DOESN’T FUCKING GET THAT IT’S TOO LATE** "  
" **should have never grown up in the first place** "  
" **COULD HAVE STAYED WHERE IT WAS WARM, MOTHERFUCKER** "  
" **too late.** "  
" **tOo GoDdAmN fUcKiNg LaTe!** "

Capricorn hangs suspended in the air above the massive Freak Show stage, reaching to the very heights of the tallest tent. It holds up one crooked, mangled leg against the light fixtures, supporting a massive goat’s upper body into the air. Another upper body lies at its side, crashed into the stage in a pile of splinters and rubble. The fallen goat body looks all but dead, forelegs slumped in front of it, unmoving in the sand. All it has is bright, indigo eyes and a shouting and hideous voice to show that it is still alive. The two mammalian bodies had once joined at their hips, like conjoined twins, but had been split down the middle only part-way. They had met at a single, which still hovers in the air wrapped about the split wound, and cradles a set of shared, spilled innards in its snake-grasp. The room stinks of meat and fish. The smell stirs in the back of Gamzee’s memory, calling up a picture of purple tears on wet, white fur.

And then it passes. "What is up my gigantic brothers?" _You know,_ he thinks, _it's funny. Think I've already killed this fucker._ Living life twice? Now that's a miracle.

" **gonna bash your face in** " hisses the healthier, upraised body.  
" **TILL YOU CAN’T FUCKING BE NO MORE** " shouts the fallen.

"Ah, man, don’t be like that!" Gamzee said. Unbidden but certainly wanted, a Faygo dropped out of his modus and into his hand. "I mean, I’m here to kill ya but you don’t have to be a fucking whiner about it."

" **CAN’T KILL US!** "  
" **wouldn’t notice the pain.** "  
" **SO YOU JUST CAN’T KILL US, BARD OF—** "

Both goat heads scream at once, and the raised one’s free hand swings ineffectively toward their conjoined tail and clutch of organs. The tear widens, and a large dollop of indigo spills over the edge of the tail. It hisses when it hits the ground before slipping away into deletion.

" **you still haven’t done it.** "  
" **YOU CAN’T WORK YOURSELF OUT, MAN. YOU’RE A PUZZLE YOU’RE TOO LAZY TO FUCKING SOLVE.** "  
" **bard of what are you, man? game doesn't know how to give you powers, game doesn't know how to give us powers. how are you going to kill us if you can’t sort out your own problems.** "  
" **HAVEN’T EVEN STARTED TO FIND YOURSELF.** "

"Oh, bros, now you sound like... what's her name... right! Kanaya." Gamzee took a drink from the Faygo. He had not been this close to sober in weeks and it was starting to tell on him, but Karkat had insisted.

" **the sylph of space is a walking hypocrisy.** "  
" **SHE’S A FUCKING CHEATER, MAN!** "  
" **just like all of them.** "  
" **ALL MY BROS DYING LEFT AND RIGHT, WHAT THE HELL?** "  
" **it’s the fucking maid of time.** "  
" **IT’S THE MILLION FUCKING MAIDS OF TIME.** "

"Hey, bitch, don’t be harshing my sisters! Sure, she’s a nag, but she owes me one and... is that a organ grinder?"

" **what.** "  
" **WHERE’S HE GOING?** "  
" **where the fuck is he going.** "

It _was_. Awesome. So fucking awesome. Gamzee gives the handle a turn and sure enough, it plays that classic, monkey training tune: _Entrance of the Gladiators_! Fucking miracles. He gives it a few more turns, humming along, when suddenly the whole goddamn thing explodes in his face! There’s this puppet sticking out of the front on a spring. Holy shit! Never seen an organ grinder do that before.

"Okay," he says a moment later, new toy lost somewhere in the south-by-northeast of his modus. "I’m back."

" **THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, MAN?** "  
" **we’re a dark reflection of you and we don’t even get it.** "  
" **LIKE A FUNHOUSE MIRROR BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN WE SHOULDN’T GET IT. THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?** "

"Aw, I dunno." Gamzee scratches at the back of his neck. "I guess I got some back pains, maybe a little bit of a headache, but I’ve been feeling all right."

" **holy shit** "  
" **HOPY FUCKING SHIT!** "  
" **he just doesn’t get it.** "  
" **NO WONDER THE GAME DON’T KNOW SHIT.** "  
" **this asshole comes in here with no goals—** "  
" **WHO HAS NO GOALS AT SIX SWEEPS?** "  
" **and two identities tearing our asses the fuck in half** "  
" **IT FUCKING HURTS, BASTARD!** "  
" **but we’d do it all again** "  
" **KEEP IT GOING FOREVER AND EVER** "  
" **because if you move you die** "  
" **LIKE THE FUCKING MAGGOT, GET IT?** "  
" **it’s a goddamn metaphor.** "  
" **SO WE KEEP GOING FOREVER SO NOBODY FUCKING DIES.** "  
" **nobody fucking gets hurt.** "  
" **EVERYTHING THE SAME FOREVER AND EVER, BARD OF GODDAMN FUCKING—YEAAAARGGGGGH!** "

Gamzee couldn’t help but laugh as the blood sloshed down again. "Just gonna do my job for me, man!"

The raised body caught its breath, braced against the lights. " **stay in pain now and no one ever leaves.** "  
" **IF WE SPLIT MY MOTHERFUCKING BRO DIES.** "  
" **or my motherfucking bro dies.** "  
" **FUCK IT! FUCK IT AND FUCK BILIOUS SLICK.** "  
" **fuck the hypocrite sylph of space! live forever in stagnation!** "  
" **AlL hAiL dErSe! HaIl ThE kInG oF tHe BlAcK tHrOnE!** "

Gamzee continues to laugh as he watches them. They’re getting so worked up over fucking nothing, after all. And then they start laughing too. High pitched and squealing, deep bass and shaking: like a funhouse mirror. He looks up again.

Hey now. What do you know. Old friends popping out of the woodwork! That’s funny, though. After all, he didn’t have any company with Capricorn except Aradia. But if things went exactly the same way they’d be fucking boring! "Hey Lady."

"Subjuggalator Makara."

Gamzee looks up, up and up at the towering, statuesque Troll before him, her golden trident well and ready at hand. "Whoa," he says. "Fuck, how'd you get so tall so fast?" Capricorn's stopped talking. Stopped moving, even, frozen-like.

"Subjuggalator Makara, you know me?"

Gamzee nods, a knot in his throat. "Sure, lady, I’ve been schoolfed. You’re the Lily Empress. The one with cream blood. You said you were a fucking God." She nods slowly, and picks her finger. A single drop of white blood peeks out. He peered forward, squinting at Her Imperial Highness’ glistening eyes. "Aren’t you dead?"

"Two thousand sweeps, Subjuggalator Makara. How have things stood in my absence?"

Gamzee laughs again, before slapping hands over his mouth for breaking procedure. "They’ve, uh, pretty much busted up everything you built, ever, what with the evil magic shit and all."

"Call it what you will."

She nods and steps past him, to look up at the frozen form of Capricorn. Gamzee frowns. "Aw, bro, you’re not here to fuck with my mojo, are you? Because that’s not cool. My bro Rosie got that happening to her the other day and she got _fucking pissed_. My best bro said that the bad dude that went after her might come after the rest of us, is that you? You a Horroterror?"

"Yes, I’ll know Rose Lalonde."

The Empress reaches out a hand toward Capricorn, down the split in its torso.

"I have no need to come to you for help, Loyal One. You've played your role."

Gamzee agrees. "...Why ain’t you dead any more?"

"I’m checking on an investment, Loyal One."

"Ohh..." Gamzee steps forward to stand at her side. "I don’t understand shit about stocks and stuff." The Empress laughs.

"What a mess you’ve made, Loyal One. Your Denizen screams invectives, you do nothing."

Gamzee does not know what to say to that. To be honest, Gamzee is slowly starting to come to terms with the idea that he does not know what is going on. It hurts.

"The Bard of Rage is dead, then."

"The what?" he asks. She gestures to the fallen goat-head.

"Two personalities in one mind, and Sgrub handled it until you began to sober and change. And Rage dies."

"Fuck, lady," Gamzee said. "I’m just the Bard, there ain’t any thing on the end like with everyone else."

"Of course there is, Loyal One. Sgrub just can’t work out what it is. Your Denizen is programmed to be your perfect counter, but suffers every time it probes a soul with no identity. Your Alpha Self moved on with the title of Rage. You do not."

"Oh," Gamzee says, following her as she walks. "...That’s bad. I mean, being a... not alpha. Aradia said something about that. Means I'm going to fucking die, doesn't it?"

"Not necessarily, Loyal One. Sburb punishes doomed timelines created during its session. Yours branched before that time."

The more he heard the worse things sounded. Gamzee’s headache was mounting, and he struggled to form words. "ThEn... uHh..."

"Like dominoes, a single change setting off the others, all to one, singular goal, the rest irrelevant. I made you change, and everything changed, to my purposes. My investment. My creation. My universe. Are you ready for the ending, Loyal One?"

"Fuck, I don’t know." Gamzee sticks out his tongue and starts again to aimlessly pivot in his lucidity. The Empress takes this in with a certain amount of disdain, before Gamzee points back to the Denizen. "This motherfucker says I'm supposed to fucking find myself first."

"There is... on so many levels... not enough time for that."

Gamzee settles to the ground as another thought occurs to him. His headache magnifies, and he reaches up with his left hand to rest his pounding against his palm. Slowly, he discovers that he cannot. "...Ow."

"...I’m sorry, Loyal One."

Gamzee loos at his arm, and sees that a strange, purple bruise is welling up just below the surface. "The fuck’s going on, man?"

"Oh, you’re bleeding into you skin. Nothing to do with me. Your friend John is simply not so talented a surgeon as he fancies."

Gamzee eyes darted toward the Empress, and with a start he realized that he can hear laughter. Not hers. Capricorn was moving again; the dream had resumed.

" **hahahahaha** " " **HAHAHAHA** "  
" **you’re here, aren’t you?** "

"Yeah," Gamzee said. He feels there was some reason he had to say that. He supposes he had said it before, but in the past, he could feel his fingertips. "I’m here."

" **NOT YOU FUCKER.** "  
" **this bitch! this goddamn murdering bitch!"**

"I believe he’s referring to me," says a voice. "Taurus proved rather stubborn." Gamzee looks up, and the sky is filled with metal. Aradia has arrived a hundred times.

" **FUCKING BITCH, MY BEST BRO WON’T DIE LIKE THAT** "  
" **none of us can die. we live forever as we are.** "  
" **HEHEHEHE. WE _ARE_ N’T, THOUGH, ARE WE BRO?**"  
" **hahahaha, because of this fucker on the ground. no identity. no shadow.** "

Black splotches begin to climb into Gamzee’s vision, and there are monsters at the peripheral of his vision. Sopor. Vaguely, Gamzee is aware that he’s being taken out of the sopor, that the memory is dying and the nightmares proper are closing in. The memory starts to compress, to move at a faster speed, as though it has to finish before it can die, and no one reacts to his change in condition.

" **FUCK YOU!** "  
" **fuck the maid of time and the bard of aaaarrrrrGGGGGHHH!!!** "  
" **RAARGGGHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!** "  
" **hahahahahahahhaha!!! fucking... ahahaha... bard!!** "  
" **YOU CAN’T STOP US, BITCHES** "

A hundred Aradia’s reply. "Gamzee and I are ready to finish you." The memory slips away from Gamzee, running on auto-pilot as though he was still healthy and ready. He can’t feel his arm. His left side is numb and cold. "Anything with a health bar can die."

" **you’re not ready!** "  
" _ **NONE OF YOU ARE FUCKING READY!!**_ "

Capricorn’s rage shook the floor, a heat sparked out as the tents of the circus began to catch aflame, and the game screeched protest and errors as the Denizen readied for combat. Gamzee feels hands on him. Cold hands, like rubber, and he shakes past the tremors in the floor. The Empress is still watching him. "Quiet," Aradia orders. "No more talk and rhetoric."

" **hehehehehehehe. she doesn’t get it! hehehehe...** "  
" **NO FUCKING CHANGE!** "  
" **heheheheahhahahahahahahaha!** "  
" **NO FUCKING CHANGE!** "  
" **hahahahahaHaHaHaHaHa!!!!** "

The figures close in, and the voices whisper, names, places, orders. Karkat. He hears Karkat’s voice, as Capricorn pushes through its hard-coded speech past the pain. Gamzee can’t feel a thing, and the Empress is watching him.

" **C’mOn BiTcHeS! mEeT eTeRnItY wItH tHe PaRaDoX oF sIlEnCe!** "

Both heads bleat as one, a resounding sound to end all sound, and then there is nothing. The tent blows in the wind of combat in an empty din, an aural void.

 _I’m sorry, Loyal One._

Capricorn fights and dies in Silence, as he had in the past as well as the dream, and Gamzee rushes as though to follow. The Empress is watching him as the memory dies.

 _It was nothing personal._

* * *

Eridan ushered Tavros out of the room with Vriska’s barbs on his back about him being an irresponsible punk, but Rose did not need to be told to leave. She had been long in Jade’s room, playing _Monopoly_ , by the time John came back. She heard him swear and really mean it for the first time. When he opened the door to talk to them he had regained his composure.

"Just the arm," he said, and tried to look relieved. _So far._ "Equius says he’s already working on a new...." The faces that looked out told him to leave without saying another word.

"Rose..." Jade said after a long pause. "We knew that this could—"

"Shut up," Rose said, harsher than she intended. "Just..." She rolled the dice and moved her piece. The very last thing she wanted to do was to talk about it. They play on in silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: I got the impression early on that some people didn't catch that "Paradox of Silence" is Capricorn's Mythical Title. My Denizens have Mythical Titles. It's nice symmetry. It probably would have been more obvious if you had met someone who _spoke with proper capitalization_. Aries' was "Beast of Frost" and splitgut here is the "Paradox of Silence". I hadn't caught on to the fact that Sburb's titles and elements have only one syllable, probably because I pronounce Seer "See-er." If you want me to make a cop-out for "Pare-a-dox" and "Si-lence"... well, it's a paradox, isn't it? Look, if it makes you feel any better, call him the Glitch of Hush.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This remains part of my chapter-splitting plan, though I may soon restructure the exact splits. I'll spell out the changes once I've settled on them, which won't happen until the next part is posted. Thanks for reading!

Following her rash promise to Vriska weeks prior, Rose had come to swallow her pride and beg Karkat for a sample of his film collection. Not just the ashen films but all of them: especially those with multiple quadrants, though Rose saved those for later in hopes that the simpler ones would help cast a light. While this did help to a degree, she was also punished for it, as films that weren't focused on romances tended to gloss them, assuming that the audience could fill in the blanks on their own. She defaulted to watching the films in order of intended audience, starting with the "grub films." Rose had asked Karkat to leave her alone to absorb the films at her own pace in her own room. He came anyway, prattling on and on like an full-body commentary track as Rose attempted to tuck her head closer to Kanaya's lap in hopes of drowning him out. Occasionally he was even the last one to bed, wrapping up the film or discussing ashen mediation past bedtime, and she would let him lock her in before she settled in to sleep.

All that taken in, Rose did not fully understand the interplay between relationships until Gamzee lost his arm. She was never at her most cognizant when she came to visit him. He slept constantly, in the recouperacoon Tavros had set up for him inside his section of the lab (they had been unable to locate Gamzee's at all). He was not in a coma but perpetually exhausted, and oftentimes Rose's visits would stop four steps away as she watched him sleep, favouring his intact side. She would would clutch tellingly at her own arm and would soon leave, words left unsaid another day. But it was still Gamzee. To think that things would change around the lab because they did not have Gamzee around was almost absurd. But that was where the relationships came into play.

There was a strange, mounting anxiety in the days that followed, though whether because of Rose's possession or the loss of Gamzee the Kitchen Confessor, Rose could not tell. What was more immediate was the loss of Tavros, who now spent day and night with Gamzee inside their now-shared section of the lab. He was not alone, as Terezi often came to visit, to read children stories or law books at random to Gamzee whether in consciousness or not. She would hang scalemates from Tavros' horns, reassuring him that he looked "F4NT4ST1C!", no matter how much heavier Congresswoman Mangoclaws became whenever Tavros looked away. The loss of Tavros meant more free time for Eridan. More free time for Eridan meant more time spent with Vriska, and that was what changed everything.

"Hahahahahahahaha! And that's three!"

"C'mon Vris, since when do you do anything in threes?"

"Shut up! At least I gave you three, and you still fucked up! Now pay up!"

They ignored Rose, and despite coming out to see them, she ignored them and left soon after. Ever since Vriska's promise on the construction site to break whatever Eridan touched her with had led to a broken pinky, Rose's role as metaphorical referee had become literal. Vriska had followed the touching game with a never-ending series of bets that Eridan kept taking against all advice: ashen, ex-pale or shouted at full force. Vriska was gentler from that point on, but hardly kinder. She would food from Eridan when he proved incapable of using someone else's full names for an entire day, would hoist chores on him when he could not beat her in a riveting race at the drydock, or would borrow clothes when he could not catch seventeen hefted rocks out of twenty while Outside on a hate-date.

"Roz, cool it, I've got this one. Serious." But he never did. Rose barely even looked up when he would come back from whatever challenge Vriska had arranged, carrying, for example, a broom and scrub-brush and bound for the Scorpio transportalizer. At this rate, Vriska was bound to carve out her position dominant party by forcing Eridan to serve as her literal throne, but he kept up. As he did, Rose could not help noticing that "Don't touch me for three days" had transitioned smoothly to "Go cook us all a nice meal, shitstain," with a finger stroking down his jawline, or "Don't touch me for three hours," as she removed a hand from his thigh.

When they returned to the lab from Outside, Vriska was wearing Eridan's scarf. Rose was there to see them arrive and was little accompanied. Most of the group had left the lab over two hours ago to shower off the grime of the work day, and had stayed away. Sollux was there, on a roll with his coding and unwilling to stop, and Feferi hovering about, but otherwise it was just Rose. She was watching a banal affair she could only really call "Troll _Showgirls_ ", which grew more uncomfortable by the moment. It never crossed the same lines as its infamous Earth counterpart, but only in favour of incompetently handled caliginous gaslighting. She was going to have to have a talk with Karkat about handing her this one. Rose would have appreciated any distraction, and her charges provided with gusto and uncharacteristic happy laughter. It was impossible not to stare.

"No!" Vriska was repeating. "No. _No._ "

"C'mon, why not?" Eridan asked as he came into hearing range. "I think you'd enjoy swimming."

Rose peaked over the back of the couch, to see Feferi gawking as well. Her auspistice buddy looked over and mouthed their shared thoughts. "Eridan, swimming?" Rose hardly claimed to know her charge well, but that little quirk had come across.

Vriska leaned her weight against the desk near Terezi's computer and brushed her hair back from her face Seeing that only her auspistice and two other Trolls present, she turned back to Eridan, a smirk playing on the edge of her lips. "You just want to get me into a bathing suit."

"Well yeah," he said.

Rose provided feedback for his lack of tact by planting her face loudly against the back of the couch. _Some days..._ she thought.

"Well thanks for lettin' me finish, Roz," he said over his shoulder. " _But..._ " he continued to Vriska, who was having trouble of her own keeping a straight face. "But I mean it too. We used to be on the water all the time! It'd be like old times, with less firepower."

"Mm-hm," Vriska said past her hand, trying to cover her grin. And then she did what Rose did not expect. "Well... it's not a bad idea." Vriska had freed a blue-socked foot from a dusty shoe, and reached out with it to brush up Eridan's ankle. "And you're not the only one who'd be getting something out of it..." She slowly pulled her foot up his leg, guiding him toward her. She stopped his approach with a single upraised finger set against his chest.

"But I think you're forgetting something, Eridan," she said. As she spoke she removed her light jacket, which was now several sizes too small thanks to her still subtly progressing Dream-moult.

"What's that?" Eridan asked. He risked his hand by reaching out to stroke Vriska's bare arm.

"You..." Vriska said, gently pushing away his hand with that same finger. "Keep..." She untied his scarf. "...Losing."

"What, you mean your bets?" Eridan set his hands instead in his pockets, and all-in-all was taking the physical rejection very well, for him. Rose watched those two apparent strangers with fascination, blind to black hole of stage presence that was Troll Gina Ravera. "Vris, I'm pretty sure you didn't say shit about not going on any hate-dates, considering we were just on one."

"That's true!" Vriska said, and she reached up to flip the scarf over Eridan's shoulders. She then gently tugged on it, pulling him slowly toward her. "But that date was my idea. I don't know if you... _get_ to name plans if you just keep losing our games."

"Was that a 'no'?" Eridan asked, keeping his hands in his pockets as Vriska pulled him right up against her. Vriska shook her head, brushing the tip of her nose lightly against his.

"I never said 'no,' Eridan." She leaned a touch forward to work the scarf properly about his neck, stopping short of brushing lips. "I just saw another opportunity for another of our games and thought..." Vriska pulled away, both ends of the scarf now in one hand and the other helping her lean back. She grinned. "...well..."

Vriska's eyes shifted a little to the right. "Don't you think, Rose?"

"Uhh..." Rose snapped back to the fact that she was, in fact, in the room with these people. "Yeah!" Rose had never seen Vriska like this, but Eridan was keeping such a cool head that she could only assume this was not entirely unheard of, in private. What on earth did those two do after she had left them alone?

"Gotta make sure we're able to _respect_ one another," Vriska said, half to Eridan and half to Rose. Rose was not sure how fond she was of Vriska putting words in her mouth, but if pleasant interaction was the result, she was willing to allow it just this once. Vriska pulled Eridan into a lean over her. Their glasses clicked, and she whispered "And you both know how fond I am of games."

Rose checked toward Feferi for some sort of reaction, but her auspistice buddy had ducked over Sollux's computer rather than gawk at her ex-moirail. A tinge of pink tickled at the extremes of her fins.

"So what are you thinking?" Eridan asked. His left hand had snuck back out of his pocket, and Rose willed him as hard as she could to not push his luck. He held. _Thata boy..._

"How about you... what was it, Rose? 'Kill me two birds with one stone?'" Vriska loosened her grip on the scarf (Eridan did not budge one inch) and collected her jacket instead. "Go find John. He's hold up somewhere on this rock with Karkat. Get the jacket I had him make for himself, _without_ telling him what it's for. I won't have to alchemize a new one if his fits."

"You want me to find you clothes?" Eridan asked.

"If you want me out of some of them."

"I just wanna swim, Vris," Eridan repeated, "You just don't trust me." Vriska just laughed. Eridan did himself no favours by joining her.

"Wanna know a secret, Eridan?" she asked. He nodded, and Vriska stepped up onto the floor, eliminating the gap between them entirely and, indeed, almost hanging off of him by the scarf for immediate support. With her now-freed hand, she pushed back his fin and leaned forward to speak into his ear. "I don't think you've got a chance of pulling it off."

"No?"

Vriska shook her head, not unlike nuzzling against him given her position. "Because John was wearing it today, and probably still is. And you're gonna walk in there, poor... desper8 Eridan, and tell him to strip in front of our fearless, jealous leader..."

"Ahh...." Eridan laughed as he picked up on the details. "Hah. You're a fuckin' bitch."

Rose startled at the sudden jump back to insults, but Vriska just pulled Eridan closer. "Mmm..." She stepped them both about until she was the one facing the desk. "And while that'd be fun to watch..."

"I bet."

Vriska knocked him back onto the desk, swapping positions. "I'd _rather_ watch you try to use your half-wits to try to outsmart me.  That sounds w8y more fun." She raised the foot still in its shoe and hefted it up onto the table between his legs, just short of his crotch, with a light _bang_. From there she used her knee as a perch for her arm and chin to look down on him. "On one hand you get chased around by Karkat. On the other hand you get to show your real 'skills' and end up a bloody, crying wiggler with no dignity and definitely nothing from John but platonic pity." Vriska ran a hand down his chest to where a Human would have a navel. "That's what I think, anyway. You think I'm warm, Dualscar?"

If anything, Vriska's shift to insults had thrown Rose even more than Eridan's had, but Eridan was entirely nonplussed. He collected Vriska's hand and sat up, patting it condescendingly. "...Get bathing suit, Vris."

Vriska must have dug her claws into his hand, because Eridan unhanded her at once. "What kind?" she asked, in spite.

Eridan leaned over to whisper in her ear this time. "Surprise me." And he hopped to his feet, adjusted his cape and made his way to the transportalizer with fair dignity, except when turned toward Rose and held up his hand palm-forward. Two purple scratches were faintly visible, and while he did not risk his cool from Vriska's perspective, he shot Rose a _What the hell is wrong with her?_ look mixed with a pleased grin. Rose was becominng all too familiar with that look from this kismesis, and she could not think up a reply before he vanished.

Vriska started talking aloud as soon as he was gone, and flipped her jacket into her inventory as she went. She looked different without it. "Of course it'd be a surprise if he even gets back here alive at all at the rate he goes. Can't even do simple tasks right." Vriska stepped over to Rose, her claw-nails gleaming and her arm muscles sleek and strong in a way Kanaya could not yet compare. "You look like you just got kicked in the face. Wanna talk about it?"

"I..." Rose could vaguely make out Feferi signalling not to admit a thing, not that she needed to be told not to admit anything to Vriska in any circumstance. "I didn't think you two were so touchy-feelie yet."

"Mm, well, you'll get it one day. Fussyfangs likes you enough." Rose was not about to supply a counter for that, and Vriska just laughed instead and ruffled Rose's hair. Rose snapped up a hand to grab Vriska's arm by the wrist, even though, as she pulled away, she became suddenly aware of the claws, which she noticed were vaguely purple-tinted at the tips. "Aw, c'mon, can't take a joke?" Vriska asked, non-threateningly enough, and Rose tightened her grip. "Okay, fine," Vriska said, "I'm _sorry_ ," and snapped her hand away. "I'm off to Tavros'. If Eridork shows up here without my stuff before I get back, tell him to wait so I don't humiliate him in front of Nitram."

"I'll pass it on," Rose promised, and Vriska vanished through the transportalizer. She was replaced who signalled to Rose with a double thumbs up. Rose returned the gesture half-heartedly. "She's up to something, you know," she pointed out, and Feferi just shrugged. It was Vriksa after all. Rose returned to her seat with a sigh. "Ugh, I hate them," she muttered. And yet: "I guess that's the point." It was little comfort.

Ten minutes later, Sollux broke Rose's half-hearted viewing of Karkat's film with a call of "Ey! John!"

"Rose." A reflex response by now. Rose was not going to humour her old passive-agression lest she end up venting the same all over Eridan and Vriska. It felt odd to think, but no matter how often they irritated her, Rose had not distanced herself from her charges with her mother's old techniques. She wondered why, instead, she continued to let them in. One day she just knew she was going to regret it.

"Right, whatever. KK says you gotta go find EQ. He wants an update on the arm."

"Why me?" Rose asked at once.

"Hell, I dunno. I could interrupt my coding and leave you with your awesome movie there."

Rose did not take long to weigh her options. "So where is Equius?"

Rose's first attempt was to try Equius' transportalizer's "bell", but he no more answered it than he had the pesters from Karkat. The next plan involved squeezing an approximate map from Sollux and headed off to find Nepeta, instead.

Rose really hoped that this was worth all the effort, as it seemed to her that getting a status update from Equius should have involved little more than waiting for him to come up for food. A quick check of her headbandtop showed that Karkat had turned from Sollux to her and she readied herself for adventure. The route through the service tunnels was mostly ladders, and they got more and more rusted and wet as she went. Adventure.

Ratlings greeted Rose to the Under-Laboratory, but it was a long while before she came across any other sign of habitation. The chambers she passed through were entirely distinct from those she had seen when she had visited Nepeta from the transportalizer. After several dozen coin-flip turns, she rounded one of the many vats in the Under-Lab. This one was filled to the brim with three different densities of fluid, long since separated into layers. It contained some sort of centaur creature that had existed in the Troll's session, another subtype like Imps and Liches, it seemed, as it lacked both the telltale moustache and udders of Equius' prototype. There Rose found herself face to face with something she had not expected to see for the rest of her life.

"Hxxxxxxxxxxx."

Like a static buzz, the Chalk Basilisk warded Rose away with a hiss and backed up the vat in reverse. Its amphibian grip suctioned off the smooth cylinder. Its eyes watched her behind transparent lenses as dragonfly wings buzzed on its back. In those eyes, Rose saw a rapid flickering of letters and numerals flash by at an impossible clip: the game was scanning her. The Basilisk slowly advanced, its muscles growing as it stepped, dynamically levelled to an appropriate challenge for her Level 76. Rose drew the Quills of Echidna.

The Basilisk lunged and took a needle-tip straight to the eye, but retreated as though unharmed. It used its height as its primary advantage, snapping at Rose as she waited for it to descend, but it would not wait forever. Soon it would come crashing down, and Rose's arms felt very heavy. It had been so long since she had tried to Strife with the needlewands as melee weapons. She resolved that if she got out of here in one piece she was going to start practice at once. Until then...

Another lunge, and Rose's arm shot out faster than she thought capable. She missed the Underling by a hair and her wand went hilt-deep through the safety glass and into the vat. It would seem Sburb had levelled her as a melee fighter despite her pact with the Elder God. Rose freed the wand just under the teeth of the Basilisk and water streamed through the hole. Another bite closed about the wand, which proved invulnerable, and then a third stopped just short of Rose's face. Rose was about to counterattack when the entire Basilisk stopped dead and pulled back a second time. Again, its eyes were seized by the digital output. Rose glanced about for her reinforcements but could not catch sight of friends.

"Nepeta?" she called.

Without warning, the basilisk's tail exploded in a burst of brown gore and filthy vat-fluid. Rose saw a black shadow leap off the edge of a platform overhead, which collided straight-on into the Underling. The entire vat, already punctured twice, caved under their combined weight and Rose scrambled back onto an upturned table's bar-legs as a thick fluid flooded the chamber. A piece of Chalk flew out from the mess and struck Rose on the temple before it was absorbed into her cache.

A face peeked up over the back of the centaur. "Hi Rose!!"

"H-hi Nepeta," Rose said, as Nepeta wrung out her hat as she approached at a run.

"Rose, are you okay?" called Jade from above. Her favourite rifle, the Curian Blunderbuss, was still in her hands.

"Just fine," Rose said, catching herself on the wall as her balance slipped. "What on Earth was that?"

"Evil monsters were guarding the Crystal Palace!" Nepeta failed to explain. The fluid from the cylinder was slipping away into nearby drains, and Nepeta sloshed toward Rose against the current.

Jade proved more helpful. "We were roleplaying and opened another door we probably shouldn't have."

"I see. And you didn't learn not to do that the last time?" Rose asked Nepeta as she approached. The Troll only smiled, showing a mouth full of teeth save the two at the top front, which the moult had recently removed, giving Nepeta the gap-toothed mouth and lisp of a grade schooler.

"We thought it was for another room," Nepeta admitted. "But it's _confusing_ down here! The real door was probably walled off."

"Was that at least the last of them?" Rose asked, not really hoping for a good answer. She dropped down into the thin layer of liquid that remained.

"We think so," Jade said. "Why are you here? Did they set off an alarm or something?"

"No," Rose said. "Karkat wants a progress report from Equius. Nepeta, do you...?"

"Oh, he's in his room," she said with a roll of her eyes. "I'll show you."

Nepeta led the way, dripping as she went. Rose was reunited with Jade as they rounded a second corner, only to discover her friend had been made up with tiger stripes on her face and arms.

"What?"

"Nothing," Rose said, calmly suppressing a reaction. "I'm glad you didn't get wet."

"Thanks," Jade said, checking her arms. "Sorry you did."

"I'm glad too! I'm also glad _these_ didn't get wet!" Nepeta said as they entered another room. Rose supposed they had entered Nepeta's territory proper as she passed through the door, not just for the improved lighting but more for the murals that greeted her. The room had been covered, from rusting head to filthy toe, with shipping diagrams.

"This is Terezi's room," Nepeta explained before Rose's had even taken in that one of the Trolls in every drawing was wearing red shades. There was just so many of them, of varying sizes, often duplicated. From the sheer number of duplicates, Rose gauged that Nepeta was perhaps more fond of Terezi/Aradia than she would have ever suspected. Also fairly frequent were a few drawings of Nepeta herself with herself and her friend, both with and without scalesuits, each one decorated by a question mark or written criticism. But the biggest drawings were new.

"ohhhh my paawwwwd, rose!!" Nepeta said, her eyes lighting up when she saw where Rose was looking. "have you s33333333n them? before? after? ohhhhh! " Nepeta wrung her hands, but her gap-toothed smile lost none of its enthusiasm. "This is such a sensitive time in their relationship! I wish I could help! They're _friends_ so they're testing the waters and who knows what they're going to find! They could go any of the four ways and you just... you just hope they're going to do something great because  they're just so kyoot!!!"

Nepeta had been very observant, and had already diligently updated her shipping wall to match those observations. In at least one drawing Terezi was hunched over a book, and Nepeta had already smudged out Gamzee's left arm in every iteration. True to her word, Nepeta had drawn the couple in every possible relationship, with duplicates in the red and light grey. "Rose," she said. "Rose. Rose." Rose looked up. "Rose. Gimmie a hint, Rose. You're their friend. I mean, their _friend_ , not their..." She coughed into her sleeve. "...their friend." And she waved a hand at her wall of suppositions to demonstrate what she meant. Her smile twitched on and off her face as she gauged their reactions, to see if she was properly understanding their system compared to her own.

"I don't really know, Nepeta," Rose admitted. "I mean, Gamzee's mostly asleep, I don't really think he's considering... that... sort of thing."

Nepeta nodded acknowledgement but kept talking. "I know but like, I really, really, really hope that it's crossed their mind, because... uh... because..." Nepeta tapped her pointer fingers against one another. "I really think they could go, like, for flushed! I do! Because she's... Terezi's... I don't wanna seem... like I _know_ but Ithinkshe'sdonewithKarkat?" Another grin teased at Nepeta's lips and then vanished. "And Gamzee could be really into her! I mean... if she's interested."

Nepeta suddenly cast a look over her shoulder and her tone shifted dramatically to confidence. "But I think..." she said, waving both of the Humans closer so that she could continue at a conspiratorial whisper. "I think this might be moirallegience. Shh!" Another check of her surrounds. "Now I don't wanna, you know, what with Tavros. Because he's been doing great but I think, just maybe, that Gamzee might actually be more violent than him. I do!" she said, as if they had doubted her in reply. "And it should be... like... closer to each other, in terms of anger, unless you're a Pale Dom, and Tavros might be but I can't really think of Gamzee as Pale Sub, you... you know?" Rose did not. "And I don't want them to be upset! But Terezi, well... picture this. _Trust me._ "

Nepeta stepped back to give herself room, apparently to gesticulate. "So... so Gamzee just hit somebody." And she struck the air. "He's sober and he's _mad_ and he just hit somebody really hard! B-but I don't want him to have hit someone I like s-so maybe he just hit Jack! Yeah! He hit Jack so hard that Jack _flew away!_. And Gamzee's like ' MoThErFuCk, My mOtHeRfUcKeRs, I'M So mOtHeRfUcKiNg aNgRy!' You know?"

"Oh yeah," Jade agreed. "That's totally how he'd sound."

"Great!" Nepeta said with a grin. "And then Tavros is like 'uHH, gAMZEE, i DON'T THINK I CAN REALLY CONTAIN THIS KIND OF STUPENDOUS ANGER.' Stupendous. No, no, not 'stupendous'. Uh... stup... would he say 'motherfucking' for Gamzee's sake?" Rose opened her mouth but Nepeta stopped her. "Nevermind.

"So he can't do it! And Gamzee doesn't want to hurt his friends but he's so angry, and then Terezi shows up! And she's like 'G4MZ33 1 KNOW YOUR3 4NGRY BUT YOU DONT H4V3 TO B3' and he's like 'No, My mOsT MoThErFuCkInG PrOsEcUtIn' PaL, i dOn't wAnT To hUrT YoU ToO! ' and she's like 'NO G4MZ33 1 H4V3 TO STOP YOU. 4ND NOT JUST B3CL4WS3... ah... B3C4US3 TH1S 1S TOT4LLY 1LL3G4L BUT B3C4US3...'"

And Nepeta reached out with trembling hand and cupped Jade's face. Nepeta was actually shaking in her act and looked Jade straight on with her intense yellow eyes as vat water dripped down Jade's neck. "'B3C4US3 1 WONT L3T YOU G1V3 1N.'" Nepeta's arm shook but her Terezi found new strength and she stepped forward, much to Jade's obvious discomfort. Nepeta's eyes softened. "'1 WOULD ST4ND 1N FRONT OF YOU...'" She gasped in air. "'t-to the end.'"

And then Nepeta gasped, jumped back and rubbed both palms together. "Ohhh my pawd I have to draw this. i _have_ to. I will be _right. Back_!" And she bounded away to collect her paints.

"Well," Rose said into the silence of the room. Jade wiped at her face with her sleeve. "This sure was a thing." Jade nodded. "Are... _we_ here?"

Jade smiled a little, despite the oily green smudge still running along her ear, and pointed to the far corner of the room. Rose headed over, curiosity building, and was greeted by the sight of a blonde-haired stick figure in a purple dress holding hands with a Troll figure wearing red shades, a red heart perched between them. A nearby picture had them both with arms raised as if in a cheer, also slotted for moirallegiance. Not far from there, stick!Terezi grinned at stick!John, with the caption "ehhhh... not really~"

"Are you here?" Rose asked as she looked around, not finding any more Human stick figures.

"I must be _somewhere_ ," Jade said. "But I... think she's been hiding my ships, since I come down here so often."

"Am I not supposed to be looking at this, then?" Rose asked. Jade just shrugged behind her and so Rose moved in. She bent to examine a few splotches of paint that seemed to have been misplaced in the exact corner. The more she looked, the clearer it became that the splotches were not just random. Rather, they were all that remained of a drawing Nepeta had canvassed over with long, slow swipes of gray paint.

One drawing, with what looked like the dimpled top of a heart poking out from under the cover, was mostly lost. The other, the relationship symbol properly obscured, depicted a stick figure with a red-sleeved arm. Since this was the Human section, Rose did not have much trouble determining who Nepeta had once shipped with Terezi here.

Jade had obviously reached the same conclusion in the past, if she had not outright seen the original drawing. "Even a great shipper's wrong sometimes."

"Jade did... you ever talk to him about this?" Rose asked as she took to her feet.

"Dave? ...No." Jade started walking and Rose picked up her pace. "I mean, John and I went after him after the fight but it's not like he listened to us. I didn't even get the details until I talked to you. Did... you talk to Terezi? I mean, after?"

"Terezi's only mentioned it off-hand one time," Rose said. "Other than that... well." She waved her hand to the murals depicting Gamzee and Terezi, the Troll-friends Nepeta felt were on the cusp. "I guess when you think you're _there_ but you're really not even on the board, that's a kick to the gut. But it's not like Dave knew." Jade nodded. "So..." Rose said as they continued to walk. "Do we all have full rooms down here?"

"Well, only the girls have rooms or there'd be even more doubles!" Jade explained. "Nepeta said it was because her room was already 'her room'. But no Human rooms yet. Oh! But there is _one_ thing."

Jade head off at a jog and led Rose through a few corridors to a junction not far from Feferi's ships. Jade gestured with spread arms toward the floor. The floor below was set with a grate, but on the four solid corners of the intersection, Rose made out four stick figures of the Humans. In the middle, on the bars of the grate, Nepeta had painted a great blue circle.

"Friendship," Jade said, her arms wrapped as if about the circle. "She said she got the idea from King Arfur's Round Table."

"'Arfur.'" Rose echoed as she examined the drawing.

"I'm allowed to make up plot, too, you know!" Jade snipped. "Because everyone is equal, they look out for one another and... well, a circle's easy to draw."

"It's great," Rose said. As an artist herself, Rose had more than a few problems with Nepeta's sketches she would never voice, but she found this gesture genuinely moving. She wished she could show this to the others, to Kanaya, but she could only imagine John appreciating it. Kanaya, as much as she hated to admit, would be a risk of the opposite. "Are there..." Rose was worried to ask. "Are there many circles down here?"

Jade shook her head. "I think there's one of Karkat and Sollux or Karkat and Gamzee somewhere, but Equius saw it and got mad. Oh!" Jade took her bearings. "You were here for Equius, right? Well, I can show you the way. Nepeta's... honestly going to be busier for a lot longer than she thinks."

Rose agreed, and Jade guided her through the tunnels until they came into an basement administrative section. There she found less exposed, decayed lab equipment and more exposed, rotted office supplies. In the back they came to a heavy door, where Jade knocked.

"Oh, hi Jade!" Nepeta said when she opened the door. "Hi Rose! I'm sorry, if I knew I had left my paints all the way back here I'd have just brought you along!" She then stepped forward and mumbled something in pig latin that Rose translated to "Please don't tell Equius about the Basilisks."

Jade walked in at once, but Rose hesitated, still vaguely remembering the unspoken rule the Trolls had drilled into her once upon a time. Never go into Equius' room, she would not understand. She could see where they were coming from as soon as she crossed the threshold. The room was split down the middle by a clothesline. On one side of the clothesline were a series of furs; on the opposite, protective mats hung up to keep the furs from catching fire. On Equius' side, every other available surface was wallpapered with exaggerated horse pornography that flickered in and out of sight in the glare of Equius' welding torch. The Trolls had been right. She did not understand.

"Equius! Rose is here!"

Equius did not respond. Ear protection aside, Equius was not unlike Sollux at the moment, completely and utterly engrossed in his work. She would have admired it if he was not so unfortunately flanked by fetish posters that now seemed poised towards him.

Seeing a spare pair of eye protection probably intended for Nepeta, Rose collected them and approached Equius. "Equius, Karkat wants an update on the arm."

"Stand back," he said, giving her his attention only when a bit of slag flew off in her direction. "Tell Vantas that it will be done when it is done. Surely he does not want the Highblood to be disadvantaged with shoddy work."

"Look, Equius," Rose said, her eyes drifting toward the object of Equius' diligent attentions. The robot arm was not at all what she had pictured considering Tavros' legs. She had heard that it was based on a model that was originally worn by Vriska, but that had not really prepared her for the sight of the new. "Even if Karkat was just doing this to annoy us both, it'd be a lot less annoying if he doesn't send me back down here to do it again because you weren't giving details."

"You want details?" Equius said without looking up. "All right."

And he proceeded to give her details, at length and buried in roughly translated jargon. Only her thorough education managed to give Rose the fact that the arm's ring finger was functioning more-or-less as intended at this point in time. The rest was lost on her, whatever it had been. When he finished, he dismissed her with "Is that satisfactory?" and did not wait for a response. Rose left with more respect for the racist blueblood, even if she knew that she would never understand him, literally and figuratively.

When she came to Nepeta's side of the room, she found that Nepeta and Jade were still searching for the lost paints. A quick exchange told her which of Nepeta's many piles (furs, bones and bait) had yet to be searched, and Rose joined them. Nepeta and Jade worked as a team, bustling and chatting animatedly. Rose felt just a touch left out to hear them go on with stories in which she had no part. But if she had been with them, she never would have found the paints. She found them tucked behind the furs next to a hidden shipping wall.

It had been drawn in chalk (the chalk was also there, stuck under the white fur of a bear-beast of some sort) and had been smudged away in a hurry. Rose could not help but note the pile must have been made with similar urgency, perhaps dumped from a sylladex all at once. The wall hosted four drawings in a standard grid, with red smudge, pale grey, black and dark grey in their proper quarters. In each quadrant there had been figures: the same pair, Rose quickly gauged from the colours. One was a Human: Nepeta liked to use snow white for their skin and the shade hardly corresponded to anything on any of the Trolls. The other was a Troll. Rose thought back to her Doyle as she looked at the rest. Black hair on the Troll, of course. Black hair on the Human, much more useful. The Troll's body was a smudge of black... no, black and green. The Human was wearing white. That was useless, as they all wore white from time to time. She had to squint, and get much closer to the wall than she was comfortable, considering that Nepeta might turn around at any moment. There, she found her clue. A tiny patch remained of the shirt's symbol in the matespritship quadrant. Light blue.

Rose did not know what to think, but the conclusion was clear. Nepeta had drawn herself with Jade, four times: once in every quadrant, even moirallegiance

Rose shifted a fur to cover the wall. "Found them!" she called. Rose watched Nepeta's face when she turned about to heft the tray of cans. Sure enough, a moment of panic overtook Nepeta's face. She stepped forward at once, but calmed down when she saw that the wall was safe. She quickly switched to joy at recovering her paints.

"Equius!" she called. "I'm gonna go paint!"

"Then I had better go," Jade said. "I don't want to get in the way."

"Okay Jade!" Nepeta said. "We'll go back to the Crystal Palace some other day!"

But farewells were halted by a voice from the back. Equius was listening more than he had let on. "Nepeta, didn't you have something to ask Miss Harley?"

"Oh. Uh..." Nepeta looked about furtively, which seemed to be her way of hunting down a lost train of thought. "Oh yeah! Did you want to come over tomorrow after work to see the art Equius has been restoring? It could be a lot of fun!"

"Uh..." Jade flicked her eyes to Rose. Rose was briefly, but ultimately not surprised that her friend's love of Anthropomorphic Fauna did not extend to hardcore pornography, no matter how artistic. "No thanks, Nepeta, Equius. I promised I'd hang out with Rose tomorrow!" Rose nodded at once. After all, what were friends for if not for entangling lies upon lies?

"Okay!" Nepeta said, not at all perturbed, and she threw her arms around Jade's neck and squeezed goodbye. When she turned to Rose there was an awkward pause, but soon she was also taken into that same clenching grasp.

Once Rose and Jade were off on their own, Jade heaved a sigh of relief and flashed Rose a circle sign with her hands. "Thank you," she said. Rose laughed and returned the sign, and they headed back toward the exit as Rose had come, discussing her and Nepeta's ongoing story as they went. Rose waited. Jade was talking at such energetic pace and it took a good while for her to even explain why she was in tiger stripes. The chance to interrupt her arrived as they climbed the second-last ladder to the main floor.

"So hey," Rose said, an excuse ready to be used. "Do you want to get something to eat? I... wanna talk about something."

"Oh nooooo, is something the matter?" Jade said when she saw her friend's face. "Not you and Kanaya, right?"

"Ah... no. No. This is more like... well it's _like_ Dave and Terezi but with someone else." Rose looked back at her friend as they approached the last ladder they would need to climb. "I'm worried that, uh..."

But Jade slapped her hand on Rose's shoulder. "Feelings jam," she said.

"I... what?"

"It's something I learned here," Jade said matter-of-factly, and she headed off in a different direction, toward Aradia's and their rooms. "Follow me."

Rose watched her go. "Who do you think I'm talking about, Jade?"

"Get in the feelings jam first, Rose!"

And so Rose followed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of the few times I've broken out a Troll's tone when they weren't in an emotional state. I really have no idea how to spell out Sollux's abbreviations, and the fandom handles them inconsistently as a whole so I couldn't decide which one to go with. So we got yellow text to excuse me saying "EQ". "Eck"? "Eee-Queue"? I have no idea. I should really just pick one.
> 
> I actually forgot Nepeta's lost teeth in the original draft (I took them back out on June 7th 2011). I actually have ~30 pages of notes and I tend not to actually read them all before releasing each and every chapter, so things drop between the cracks. At least it wasn't game-breaking!


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The partial chapter game continues!

Rose gathered her breath, her energy and her carefully prepared script. "Jade..."

"Not set up yet!" Jade interrupted. Rose rolled her eyes, only to find a stuffed jellyfish shoved in front of them. Jade shook the mess of tentacles in her face. Rose laid further back into the protective, plush embrace of the dolls she used as bedding, fully aware that some of them were jellyfish as well.

"Do I... have to?"

"Uh huh!"

Rose looked about. All these dolls looked the same to her. "...All right, where's the other one?"

"Right there!" Jade said, pointing with the Squiddle. She and Rose were lying on opposite ends of the plush pile, head-to-head not unlike the night Rose had slept in Gamzee's horn pile with he and Terezi. Jade's pile was simply too small to facilitate a side-to-side conversation. Rose plucked up the other Squiddle doll and lifted it over her own head. Between the two girls' heads, the dolls met in a tangle of limbs, magic and the violent crack of two earth magnets strong enough to sever a finger between them.

"I cannot believe you're still putting stock in these... things," Rose said. She settled an arm behind her head as a pillow. Jade settled down the Tangle Buddies™ on the peak of the pile, but they tried to roll down at once. Rose spent Jade's multiple attempts elaborating. "Considering what they were a part of I would give them a much wider berth."

Jade had begun digging the Squiddle couple a small cup at the top of the pile to hold them still. "Rose, maybe you were too busy pointing out what's wrong with my shows, but the Squiddles were still the good guys at the end of the episode!"

"Hardly the point, they were produced by the exact same team with the exact same intent!"

"Shhhhh..." Jade cooed, her prize's purchase secured. She reached about Tangle Peak and took the hand Rose had already tied up behind her head. "Only trust now."

Rose wondered if intentionally dislodging the Tangle Buddies™ would get her out of this ridiculous physical position. "You still think this is about me, don't you?"

"Isn't it, Rose?" Jade patted Rose's palm with the tips of her fingers. "Sometimes we repress our personal problems by pressing them off onto others! Why don't you tell me about it? From the beginning."

Rose was not so stubborn as to miss that she was trapped in a hole of her own digging. "At what point in this psychoanalytical farce does Strider burst out of your closet with a coolly timed 'I told you so?'"

"I'm not here to judge, Rose!" Jade said, almost muffling her initial giggle.

Rose sighed. "I'll try again. Have you talked to Terezi lately?"

The motion in the pile implied that Jade had shrugged. "Sort of. I went to visit Gamzee and she was reading him a fairy tale that ended: 'And then the big Troll ate all the children.'"

"Yes. A lot of them end like that, actually." Rose had perused a few during a previous visit to Terezi's room. "Most of them. As a matter of fact... Look, that's not the point. I guess I have to step back. You know how Terezi and I hang out sometimes, right?"

"Oh yeah!" Jade said. "How's that going?"

"It's... fine?" Rose vaguely recalled having once attempted to psychoanalyze Jade's behaviour considering that she had been raised by a dog, and had concluded that Jade's attention span was indicative. Now it was just annoying.

"That's good, because she still seems really down. She needs a good friend."

 _Because I almost killed her other friend,_ Rose thought. Pushing her self-doubt aside, she realized she had lost her original approach and so staggered: "You noticed that too?"

"Yeah," Jade said. "It's been weeks since I was charged with anything more than jaywalking. I'm still not sure how that works! Could you ask her?" Rose shook her head. "So what's the matter? Do you know?"

Rose was not about to violate a associate's confidences, but the subject was not so divorced from the one she actually wanted to discuss. "Terezi's mood isn't actually recent. She started being upset when she and Dave... broke up."

"'Broke up?'" Jade propped up on her elbows to look over the Squiddles. "I didn't know they were going out. It explains a lot, though."

 _How to approach this?_ Rose was no teacher, certainly not about extra-terrestrial relationships. Karkat should be the one doing the talking, though preferably with a less personal example than that of Terezi and Dave. "...The short way to put it is that Terezi was getting the wrong signals just when she and Karkat were having trouble. Dave must have looked like a great opportunity, to hook up with an interested friend. I-I... I told him to talk to her, and by the sounds of it, it went badly."

"Oh no, Rose! Don't feel bad!" Jade rolled over entirely and sat a comforting hand on her friend's shoulder. "And let's be serious: that was probably Dave's fault."

Rose laughed. "Poor Strider. Cool and nonchalant is not a good break-up attitude. Especially if you don't realize what's happening. ...So back to that." Could she just say it? "Jade, Trolls don't tend to have long-term friends."

Jade returned to her back with a _thwump._ "Uh-huh!"

"But what they do have is short-term, 'trial' relationships." Rose swallowed, dreading a reaction that did not come. "Like me and Kanaya," she added for clarification. "We were friends for a while until... well, 'finally,' we picked a quadrant."

"Ooh, how is that going, by the way?"

Since she was on her back, Jade had left Rose with no target to swat with the newspaper she wished she had on-hand. "We're both fine!" Rose said, trying to sound more cheerful than exasperated. "But tha—"

"That's great!" Jade interrupted without realizing it. "You're spending _lots_ of time together, and we're all really happy for you! Have you kissed yet? Rose..." Jade threw an arm back over her shoulder, landing atop a pile of rag dolls just aside from Rose. "Now I know that you're not me! But I think, knowing you, that kissing would be a big step in your relationship, so I understand if you'd be nervous!"

"Jade..." _Your friend loves you. You're not allowed to be mad just because she loves you._

"But I want you to know," Jade said, the very sound of honesty in her voice. "I want you to know that when you're both ready and you do kiss, I think – and I haven't been there! – I think that you'll both be so happy about it! And you'll be at a new level, you know! And you can express your emotions in a whole new way that you totally couldn't before, and I think that's really—"

"Jade!" Rose was blushing and glad the lighting was not bright enough to let Jade see. As accurate as it would be to say that she had her girlfriend had not _kissed_ , Rose had a an intimate set of memories – Kanaya's perfume, the brush of bladed teeth just, precisely off of the skin of Rose's neck, another conversation bled off into murmurs – that said Jade was still as psychic as ever. "Thank you, but this isn't about me and Kan!"

"Okay, Rose," Jade said, not exactly offended by a little put-off. Rose reached up and brushed at Jade's hair. "I'm just trying to be here for you when we get to the real problem, whatever it is."

 _Ugh._ Rose retracted her hand, and Jade took that as a sign to once more return to the opposite side of the pile. "My point is: Terezi thought she had a trial friendship with Dave, that had progressed to matespritship. I know, because she has one with me and with Gamzee, too."

"Really? You and Terezi?" Jade seemed to ponder this for a moment. Rose could not blame her when she asked the obvious question. "Do you...?"

Rose already had her answer, though she wished it could be more concrete. "Not yet." It had been a month since the hot dogs, not indistinct from Terezi and Dave's relationship, but Karkat's films told Rose she had a much longer timeframe if she did not send mixed signals, and she had done her best. "I mean, I already have a matesprit, and I'm not attracted to Terezi, per se. As for the rest... well, that's what the friendship is for. And right now, that's what we both want."

Jade seemed to agree and understand, so Rose did not go deeper into it, except to jump to the end. "But one day," she said, "if we don't find a quadrant, we're going to have to... say, well, goodbye."

Silence: not out of shock but simply because Jade had applied her own leash. She rolled over again. "Is that... what's bothering you?"

"Sort of," Rose admitted, in that it was something that bothered her. Her mind stuck on the image of dominant Terezi on the roof of the lab, brought low by the primal fear of her species at being left for the Drones, twisted to Jack. Rose knew that it would bother her for some time yet.

Jade's hand was soon back by Rose's side. "Rose... not all the Trolls feel that way, you know. About friends. Karkat has a bunch of friends, and..."

Rose, hearing a waver on her friend's voice, reciprocated her gesture by setting her hand over her head and into hers. "Jade, this isn't about me." She turned her head up to meet Jade's quivering green eyes, inverted but obvious as ever. "I think... I mean, I'm not sure and I just wanted you to be aware, unlike Dave, but..."

"Oh nooo..." Jade made a whimpering sound and fell away to bury her face in the pile. Only her hand remained, clutched in Rose's. "Are you sure?"

"N-no, 'I'm _not_ sure'!" Rose repeated. "Have you ever talked about this with Nepeta?"

" _No!_ " Jade squeaked. "I mean... maybe she licked me, once? On the cheek? That just seemed like the sort of thing she would do! And then she gave me this look. It was the sort of look Bec used to give me if I had something new and he was trying to figure out if he could play with it? Except..."

"Except when you didn't go with it, she just backed off like nothing happened?"

Jade seemed to nod. "Yeah."

"That's a cat thing," Rose confirmed with a nod. "It means... well, it's just something they do." Rose could clearly picture Jaspers tumbling to the ground with a carton of milk, scattering down the hall and then bathing with the utter nonchalance only a cat could manage. She decided she did not want to press in that it was that look cats only put on such a cover for a _mistake_.

Jade was already having trouble enough on her own. "Why wouldn't she _tell_ me about this?"

"Well..." Rose said, "maybe she's just concerned for your feelings?" _Or maybe she doesn't know you don't know, like Terezi._ "Jade..." Rose clutched at her friend's hand until she had her full attention, which did not happen all at once.

"Rose, what am I gonna do? I don't want to stop being her friend! Nepeta's really fun! And I love hanging out with her, and I know you guys don't like the same stuff we do. But she already has a moirail, and she _loves_ him and I don't hate her or... or... and I still don't even know what an auspistice even is!"

Jade calmed down after that outburst, and so Rose took her opportunity. "I know you're not ready to date right now, Jade, not right this minute, but... is there any chance that you might... maybe...?"

Jade's response, this time completely face-down into the dolls, almost sounded like words.

"Pardon?"

Jade sulked, and replied only above a mumble. "...I don't like girls. _Ugh._ " She returned to the pile. "I'm the only one in existence who doesn't like girls."

Rose, who had once worried what sort of passive-aggressive response her mother would have in store for her sexuality, found this inversion not entirely disagreeable. Still, Jade was her friend. "Well that's just not true," Rose said, before further thought proved her quite wrong. "There's... Jack?"

"No, Jack had a girlfriend," Jade said, to Rose astonishment. "Karkat told me."

"Well is that still true?" Rose asked, the question now a riddle begging for an answer. "Since he's a demon now. What about Bec? Did he like girl dogs or was his being a First Guardian—"

"No, that didn't change anything. Remember?" Jade interrupted, and then simply reminded: "Doc Scratch liked girls."

"Oh," Rose said, and she and Jade shuddered as one, the pile shaking about them.

"But that's not the point!" Jade threw up her free arm in disgust, and Rose wondered if she was now feeling the pain she had cast on Rose earlier in the conversation. Before Jade could elaborate, the door slid open.

"Hey girls!" said John as he stepped in, all grin and preparation. "What's up?"

Jade sniffled. "Nepeta's going to stop being friends with me because I'm not attracted to her and there's nothing I can _do_!"

It took Rose a while to bleed out any of Jade's unintended references to emotional blackmail. For what it was worth, by the time she had finished, John was fully informed.

"Well geeze," he said, fully embodying the decisiveness that made him their leader. "I don't know what to say at all!"

Neither did Rose, at least as far as Nepeta was concerned, but as to her panicking friend she did have a potential remedy. "Well..." she said to John, "if you want to help, you can't start until you join the feelings jam and touch the Trust Squiddles."

"I... buh? Can't I just..."

But Jade laughed, and that made it worth it. "Ah, ah, ah! Touch the Trust Squiddles! Touch 'em!" She pointed, and John responded with nothing but his standard, adorable bafflement. "Iiiii said touch 'em!"

Instructions followed, John came to settle in, and with his lead they began to explore hypothetical dead end after dead end. An hour passed, and the lights in the Humans' chambers dimmed to encourage a day/night cycle.

"The way I see it," John said, "right now, you and Nepeta are still buddies, and that's important on its own! And when you're ready, you should talk it out and... well..."

They were deflated, drained by the lack of so many failed exists, and lay in their exhaustion. John laughed. "I guess... I don't really know how this works, huh?"

"You're doing fine, John," Rose said. She tapped on the pile beside him. On the other side of the Trust Squiddles, she heard Jade do the same. "I suppose none of us really know how to approach these sorts of romantic situations. It was the sort of thing we would have expected to learn from our parents."

Jade gave a soft affirmative, then a sigh, as deep as any of the ones she had given at the head of the hour.

"Yeah," John said. "I mean, my Dad wouldn't have understood all the Troll stuff... and if he did, he'd probably try to explain it with cruellers. But he'd still know what to say."

"I suppose we always figured our parents would be here for these early, interpersonal steps," Rose said. "I, for one, always expected my Mother to address the subject of my first date or major teenaged sleepover by mining the house with hidden caches of beers and coloured liquors, to chide the typical adolescent's desire to sneak some for such an occasion. My prepared counterattack was to reorganize the bottles in a chromatic structure, perhaps a pyramid, while consuming some between myself and my date. Well below the legal limit, of course, or I'd ruin my point. Naturally she would leave us unsupervised to achieve the same effect, so if my date consented I would respond with a closed circuit recording of the two of us having a contact-free evening of polite and pleasant conversation over dinner."

Jade whistled out a low note. "Wow, I was _never_ going to bring a boy to my house. Date or otherwise. No offense, John, but Grandpa would have wanted you to meet The Houseguests. And Bec would probably teleport you to the Sahara just to be protective."

"Yeah," John said, taking it all with a laugh. "Those are totally second date things!"

Rose agreed. "Deserts are strictly fourth for me."

"I'm not much better," John said. "I bet, if I had ever brought a girl home, Dad would have baked a cake to welcome her to the family." Rose and Jade both laughed at that, so he insisted: "I'm serious! He had a wedding cake recipe and he was _itching_ to use it!"

Rose smirked at the ceiling. "And imagine Dave's Bro?"

"Oh my gog," Jade said, and scoffed. "She wouldn't know if he liked her or not for _years_!"

"It's a beautiful June day," John said, to paint a scene, "we're all trying to get some sleep before we dress up and start getting ready for the wedding, when Dave's fiancée's door opens a crack and _zing!_. Ninja star in the pillow. And she meets his eyes, and he meets hers, and then Bro is like: '...something borrowed.' And he shuts the door!"

Jade stopped laughing long enough to add her own touch: "And then goes to dress Cal up in a little suit!"

"Ugh, not the doll!" Rose protested. "Don't get me wrong, I would have gone. But of all of our houses, I'd take mummfied house guests and cheese danishes over that doll showing up in the bathroom in the middle of the night."

"Or staring out of the trash can," John suggested.

"Or," Jade said, "he could have come to one of our houses, and his Bro would have somehow packed Cal in Dave's bag!"

And they all laughed. Rose could not help but be a little proud at how they had grown into their new world so well that they had set aside the niggling fact that, once upon a childhood imagining, the "he"s and "her"s in these examples might have had very _familiar_ names indeed. Instead they laughed as friends, united in the eccentricities of their Guardians, who they had always known would have plagued them deep into adulthood. Then, all at once, John stopped and shattered it with a question.

"...Now what'll we do without them?"

And then no one knew what to say. Still reigned, and for some time the only sign that they were together was Jade's persistent hands, outstretched toward her friends for comfort. Rose and John took one and extending the same to one another; a circle about the dolls. A happy tour of the past had crashed into the harsher present, and Rose tried to murder the fact that she had last seen her mother's face worn by a demon.

"Does... anyone wanna talk about it?" Jade asked. "I'll go. I mean, I guess I always knew we were gonna play the game... and I guess I knew a few things that would happen, but... well... I guess I figured that when the game was done, Earth would go back to normal, and... I'd have Bec back, if something went wrong? And you'd all have any other friends? And..." Rose passed a squeeze along her friend's hand, but that was never going to help her find the words, which she only did in her own time. "But they were never going to come back, were they?"

John shook his head. "Not Earth. Not our friends. Not our parents."

"Wishful thinking," Rose said. "I suppose we were allowed to hope."

"Where's Dave?" John said suddenly, sounding just a little like he was covering up a choke on his voice. "I'm pretty sure he should be here being sad too!"

Rose and Jade laughed, just once. Dave was assuredly out on patrol, however, and Rose did not know if Jade knew and was not going to risk telling her. _Still,_ she thought. _He and Aradia are out there day after day._ "He's still hoping," she said. John, who understood, chuckled, but Jade, who did not follow, started to cry. "Oh no... Jade..."

It didn't take all that long to coax Jade back to calm, just hugs and a few comparisons to her shimmering, green spriteself, who was remembered with far less fondness and only earned Rose a glare. But she stopped crying, and soon John had coaxed out a smile with a poor magic trick performed with a set of Alternian cards.

"Karkat said our cards were porn, Rose!" he said when she inquired. "And I don't get it, because like, it's just the relationship's sign, right? I don't get all flustered if I see someone going by 'Mr.' and/or 'Mrs.'"

"I'm more surprised by your backing down," Rose said. "It shows either a submissive relationship towards Karkat or a rather juvenile fear of being associated with sexuality!"

"Or as Dave would put it," Jade said, "you're a pussy, John!"

John decided to feign utter terror at her choice of adjective, and Jade took the opportunity to playact Dave. And while Rose could not help but laugh as she watched them, a tear slipped out of her eye to see them play. It was the laughter, not the pain that choked it out. Watching her friends being idiots together was a luxury she had once only imagined. Somehow, past death and ruin, the meeting she and her online friends had once hoped and begged for had snuck up on them, unawares.

As evening drew to its formal close, the lights as dim as they were going to get, conversation slipped back to Rose.

"So what's it like, really?" Discussion of scam artists in the Anthropomorphic Fauna community had somehow led to Vriska. John clarified. "Auspistizing her?"

"Auspisticing for," Rose corrected. "Or perhaps 'Being her auspistice.' And if I may be eloquent: 'Ugggh.'"

"That bad?" he asked.

Rose shook her head. "I don't even know. It's kind of hard for me to find an analogue without naming... well... the two of them. ...Wait, I have it. Here, try this: stretch your minds and imagine that Strider says the same stuff he does normally except he's serious."

"He knows you said that, Rose," Jade said. "You can't say something that uncool without him knowing."

Rose harrumphed. "Well then he's suffering for the sake of my comparison, he should be flattered. Now imagine. You've had to put up with this douchebag for years. He keeps poking into your conversations, hacking out of your Trollslum, and unlike all the others, he's not pretending to be an alien. 'Pretending.'" John snickered, and Rose continued: "He's just a jerk. One day, you meet in person by accident. Once you find out who he is, what do you do?" The wavering responses from her friends reminded Rose exactly who she was speaking to. "Imagine you're more aggressive."

"Maybe I'd... punch him?" John asked more than proposed. "Geeze, Rose, I don't think I could punch Dave, even if he was Evil Dave. He'd hide it, but he'd be pretty mad at me."

"Yeah..." Jade said. "Maybe if he got me mad I'd tell him to stop being a jerk?"

"Okay, punching. Or a reprimand. Both reasonable or semi-reasonable options." Rose could roll with thes. " _Now_ : how would you respond if he asked you to do it again?" Capitalizing on the silence, Rose continued: "What would you do if he gave you his phone number and told you to call him up if you were ever interested in punching him again?"

"Well..." Jade peeped over the pile. "I guess I get what you mean, but the Trolls must be a little masochistic, right?"

"That's where I have to disagree," Rose said. "I've never actually seen _any_ of them be masochistic. Sadistic, yes. And so I assumed that a kismesissitude would be like Equius and Aradia's, in a sort of... emotionally charged game of King of the Hill. But _Eridan_ , Eridan keeps taking it on the jaw! 'Like a chump!' And that's Vriska's term. I mean, Eridan can be a masochist all he wants. If that's what they both want, I will auspistice for that! Except I don't actually think he _likes_ it!" Rose shook a fist. "He complains, he gets angry, and he just keeps _doing_ it!"

John shrugged. "Well it is Eridan! I mean, he'd go through a lot for Tavros, don't you think he'd go through a lot for Vriska?"

"I do!" Rose insisted. "It's just thought it was spectacularly unbalanced, and I didn't know: should I be doing something? Should I not do anything, assuming this sort of sadomasochistic relationship just a thing? Do I ask _them_?"

"Well... I dunno, Rose." Jade once again returned to Rose's shoulder, which was becoming almost expected. "You're the expert here. We can guess if you like but it's kind of different than we're used to."

"Vriska wouldn't talk to me," Rose insisted, the memory of the two meetings that led up to the relationship still fresh in her mind. "...I should talk to Eridan," she declared aloud. "I... admit it's going to be an uncomfortable conversation, but could you both hold me up to it?"

"Sure, Rose," John promised.

"Well that's good," Jade said, "but Rose? If everything's so rough, I gotta ask: are _you_ happy with it?"

"Oh. Yeah, definitely," John said. "I mean, I don't want Vriska or Eridan tearing each other apart any more than anybody else, but there's no reason for you to be there if you don't want to."

This Rose had not thought about. She talked it out. After all, she was with friends, and not entirely afraid of putting out her unedited thoughts where they could hear them. "Well it's not really what I expected," she started. "I mean, they fight, they look to me, it's nice to be sort of in charge... but like I said, I don't know how I've been doing."

"But... is that good? Bad?" John asked. "I mean, I never figured I'd know what I was doing on my first few dates but this isn't really the same kind of thing! And it's been a month."

"I know. I know. But, at the same time, it's _only_ been a month." Rose held up her hands as though measuring a length, not sure if anyone was actually looking or even able to see. "Trolls have their test friendships, but Humans just date strangers and try the relationship out for a time to see if it... fits." She tried to show that the lengths were comparable in her mind. "I guess that's what I'm doing. Is it working? Well..." Rose ran over what little she had learned from months of conversation with Kanaya and Karkat. "It's not what I expected. Frankly, it's less intimate and more professional. They're like my patients."

John and Jade did not seem all that impressed at that, so Rose tried to clarify. "I-it's more than _that_." She was surprised by her own urgency. "I mean, I watch Karkat's movies and some of the ashen subplots make me ' _Aww_ ' like a sycophant, at least now that we're out of the grub films. Vriska and Eridan don't do that for me, yet. And I don't think that's a problem! I mean, how long does it take you to fall in love? Not the length of a movie. Not a month. I don't..." She cleared her throat. "I don't 'love' Kanaya. It's not the... it's not the nicest thing to say out loud but I'm mature enough not to spoil my relationship with dishonesty and a rush. It comes. Right?"

Having to admit that she was not sure brought back the stale tang in the air that had come when they remembered they were facing these sort of emotional hurdles without their parents. All John and Jade could do was to once again reach over and lend physical support to convey what they could not put into words. And while Rose appreciated, her inner introvert had had well enough of the attention, and decided to change the subject. "So I'll talk to Eridan," she repeated, to use as a segue. "By the way, John, did you happen to see him today?"

"Eridan? Can't say I did!" John scooted back up onto the top of the pile from where he had sunk, and Rose looked over to see that he was wearing his old, white slime ghost shirt. She wondered where he had left the ensemble Vriska had been talking about.

"Huh..." Rose outlined Vriska's newest game in brief, and while John didn't seem to catch on to why Karkat would be so annoyed, he seemed to think it was a hilarious plan. Rose rolled her eyes, and then rolled about the pile to his side. "You know," she said, not interrupting his chuckling, "maybe I should have you ask Vriska about my auspistice for me. Obviously the two of you are on a much closer wavelength."

John just shrugged, but Jade seemed to pick up on Rose's angle with a glance, and rolled over on her own. "I think she's right! I bet Vriska would agree too."

"What do you mean?" John said, suddenly becoming aware that he was wedged in between two girls.

"Well," Jade said, "if I were a Troll, and I had a crush on a guy, I think what I'd do would be to send a guy I hated to steal the first guy's shirt."

"It's perfect, overcomplicated schoolyard flirting," Rose said with a tip of her hand.

"Wait, what are you guys talking about?" John asked. "You're not honestly saying that—"

Rose interrupted him with a snap of her fingers. "And it's a prank!"

Jade gasped. "Of course it is! Ooh, it's so obvious! _Adorable!_ " She lay her head on John's shoulder. "John, don't worry about asking her about Eridan, really, you two have so many important things to talk about! Don't you think, Rose?"

John, incredulous, looked from one of his friends to the other while sputtering half-complaints like "Wha—" and "Buh—", all to no avail.

"I think so, Jade," Rose said. "Hey, let's get her on pesterchum right now!"

"Wait, no!" John dove after Rose, with Jade fast on his heels, pulling him back to the pile. "No!" he protested again, "Trust Squiddles, help me! I'm being betrayed!"

As it happened, Vriska was not online. She was probably with Tavros, who was online, but that seemed a touch too far. Instead, conversation tapered off of crushes and relationships to a new one about fashion. From there it went sublime, as teenaged conversations tend to lean as the night draws on. They were interrupted only once, when they heard footsteps outside and Rose checked to see if they could catch Dave off-shift and in their net. Unfortunately, the hall was empty: if anything, he had been heading out on an emergency. As reality remained intact, Rose trusted her friend to his business after only a sombre pause, and then returned to the others.

Rose had wrangled her friends into a conversation about the Allegory of the Cave, which they actually seemed to enjoy, when they were interrupted by the sound of echoing voices.

"...unbelievable......foot-scumming _horsebeast-shit_!"

"Oh... So high and mighty......'s how you feel, why don't you say it to my face?"

Though the pile had been devastated by their impromptu wrestling match and the Trust Squiddles had rolled off to the side, Rose still had to lift herself up a ways to sit upright. Her friends stared up at her.

The voices continued, incomprehensible through the floor or two that separated them, and then: "Tavros, I swear to gog, _shut up_ , this is between me and Eridork."

Rose rubbed at her eyes. "Unbelievable. They're at it again. I will _kill_ them. They were happy this morning and now they're at each other's throats in less than twelve hours. I will kill them. It is for the _common good_. Surely you can see that?" She got to her feet and wandered groggily to the door. "Anyone wanna come watch the magic? Meet me there, I mean?" Neither of her friends seemed keen to follow, especially when Vriska vaulted a decibel. From the sounds of things, Rose charges were at Tavros', and Tavros' meant Gamzee. The only thing reason she could face up to her stoner friend was his weakness and exhaustion, as little as she would admit it, and surely an Eridan and Vriska fight of this magnitude would wake him. Perhaps sensing her hesitation, Jade and John glanced at one another and stood up.

"Thanks guys," Rose said at a whisper, and it was not really clear if they heard her as they joined her at the door. Rose headed out and kicked open the old, stubborn hatch that she used after getting up each morning. She ducked in without waiting for the others to reach the transportalizer. She had never been to Tavros' via this route, normally preferring a longer route from the lab, and for all she knew it could take some time. Not that she had any chance of getting lost, at least. After all, all she had to do was to follow the screaming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A while ago I told a reader that I was writing an auspistice scene, and I still haven't gotten to it. Obviously I was referring to the upcoming. That's not to say it's not _written_ , mind. I'm just increasingly desperate to spread out the releases during my RL delays. Bear with me folks. I have… _a plan!_. (I abandoned the plan. It was a very bad plan.)
> 
> This was the best forum-to-AO3 conversion I've ever had! Can we have more chapters with nothing but italics? …no? Darn it.


	22. Chapter 22

The air thinned as Rose moved, ducking and crawling through the walls and crawlspaces of the lab. It thinned and took on the sharp taste of treated air: sterile, chemical. The metal wall grew cold as well, the walls and pipes and ladders. Rose was forced to slip on the thick, lavender-highlighted gloves Kanaya had made for her out of some of Equius' things, and pressed on. After ten aggravating minutes of crawling (aggravating, but still faster than trying the long route through Gamzee's quarters), Rose saw light greeting her up ahead. When she reached the source, she found a dozen gore-holes that sprouted through the wall about ankle level. The splayed, burst metal lay in rows of three. One, stuck with red gore, had struck so hard it buckled the metal in a thin white line between the holes. Rose pressed on, until she found the source of the cold, past a massive gash that cut through the next hall, slag pelted against the pipes and beams. At the opposite end of the hall was a burst machine that pumped light gray smoke into the crawlspace and through the gash. The closer Rose came to the cloud, the colder it got: whatever the machine had refrigerated, it had done so to extremes. Below the gas lay a liquid stain in the slag.

"I'm starting to get the impression that I should have taken the long route..." Rose muttered. Her path blocked by the cloud, she glanced toward the gap and into a falling abyss that went down, down despite blinding lights into a black shadow below. There was a platform, near enough for a Sburb player to jump, which was good. The closest landing from there was down at least five storeys of fall. Rose weighted her options.

"Here's an idea!" came Eridan's voice from the gap below. "How about you stop flapping your protein chute or I'll shut it for you?"

"Oh, like you could."

"wwatch me"

Rose wore a mask of calm, calm from her face to her soul. "Fine," she said to the indignant world. "Fine."

She took to the gap at a quick run and jumped, though her feet slipped on a melted patch of floor on her final push: she cleared the distance but hit the platform flat on her side.

"Lesson learned. Level 76," Rose muttered to the room, hearing an immediate echo. The broken machine had nearly turned the room to winter, and she could see her breath. "Good for two feet of jumping... still not good for landing." She was still rubbing her shoulder when she finally took in the room.

She was in the Dungeon. That was what Dave called it, at least. While the entire lab was a maze of twisty passages, all alike, the Dungeon alone served no alternate purpose. It was a land of platforms and stairs which floating without limited visible support in the darkness. The whole place seemed to exist only to delay players en route to the heart of the lab: a Dungeon for the them to overcome. It was Terezi's home, bordered Vriska's, and by the sounds of things, Tavros' as well. Vriska and Eridan's voices echoed up infinitely, off of all four walls.

"I hope I'm right about this being the fastest route," Rose muttered, realizing that paths could go on for hours in the Dungeon, defying Space and Time. And Light. The room was lit without source: no beams or bulbs or flourescent growths. Rose's limited powers were well aware of it; her common sense hated it. It unnerved her.

The eerie light lit the scene dim or bright at random, but well enough to see. The ratlings had picked apart most of the bodily evidence, but the metal and brick had seen stress no army of pests could undo in two months. Burns and further gashes slashed the walls beyond the platform, like the tunnel she had just left. Dents struck the wall at random, and one of the gashes had cut across and removed a corner of the square platform entirely, a ten-foot slice. Silvery cuts lined the floor here and there. A vicious series of them hashed back and forth along a path to an edge, where Rose could make out the holes she had seen before. Strangest of all, Rose could see an encrypted captcha card embedded in the edge, next to the only set of stairs. When Rose went to check it, curious if she could get a sign of what it contained, it teetered away from her and fell spinning into the air below. Rose never heard it hit ground.

As her Seer powers went, Rose's domain was fate and the future. As a result she could not get a perfect look at the events that had taken place in the past, but she could piece them together with a little thought. She could see Sollux, firing at will with mind blasts and telekinetically propelled captcha cards at any number of flying opponents. Feferi had fought their foes on the ground, and had driven a particularly stubborn opponent back with spinning, warding blows of her trident against the floor to kick up noise. Finally, she had backed it against the pit. When it continued to hold his balance, she stuck it through and against the wall, and then let it drop.

As Rose took in the scene, she was jarred from her daze as an encrypted captcha card slammed into the opposite side of the platform. It had fallen from above, but it was all so suspicious that Rose turned back to the spot where she had pushed the other. _No... Couldn't be..._ She decided to leave the platform in a hurry, either way.

Rose headed down the stairs, free of rails, the echoing voices of her charges getting louder as she went. She was almost at the base of the stairs, which branched off to another set in one direction, and the hallway in another. Curious about the other platform, Rose turned back, and immediately wished she had not. Her eyes had met with something so horrible she did not believe it, cast in weird shadows by the game's lights-without-source. Rose balked at letting them be her only guide. Muttering, she reached deep inside of herself to the flame she knew lay within, built like a slow-turning sun.

It was easier than it had been, but the others still seemed to reach their power with an intimate ease. Rose's powers and intelligence still fought those days. She had not spent much time in the game as the Seer of Light, and too much as a Servant of Terrors, and there was still a disconnect in her mind. Rose touched on the fire and slowly filled an arm with its heat. The heat cast out from her hand by the tips of her fingers and spun carefully into an orb in her grip. The heat clashed against the distinct chill of the air as Rose approached the edge of the stairs. There could be no denying what she saw. There, against one of the walls, lay a severed column of what had once been an Ogre.

In its size it had been knocked back against the wall in life without falling from the platform, though whether this had been to its benefit or loss, Rose could not decide. After a lucky shot from Sollux, the Ogre had been caught in the gushing liquid cold that had sprayed from the machine in the wall above. Those parts of its body that had been caught in the spray had been frozen through, to the walls and floor. Its arms were now gone, as were most of its left leg and, thankfully in the opposite direction, half of its head. The ratlings and the pit had taken the rest, if it had not rotted into grist for all Rose knew. What remained told an awful story all its own. The tip of lance the size of a tree trunk still remained in its gut: black chequered, it had affixed the Ogre to the wall and a scream on its face. About the lance were four hideous, deep wounds cut with a random savagery; the cold preserved the cuts from the clean-picking teeth of scavengers. Rose realized with a wrenched affinity that they were broad cuts from a chainsaw.

What remained of the legs stood as a final brutality. They were covered in burns and what Rose thought were bruises until she took a look around for the rest of the platform. She saw footprints and wheel tracks, which cut through the battlefield pell-mell in a thin layer of dust. Rose motioned with her arm as though to toss the orb and it dutifully floated out from her, bound by a soft thread of heat. Rose guided it toward the floor with a few gentle motions, all of which it overshot in her inexperience. The orb jittered about in the air when Rose told it to bring it to a stop, but she could see the area below well enough despite the fidgeting. In the tracks, Rose could see the soft tile that lined the Dungeon's floors had been consumed and reduced to blue ash. Blue ash, blue, bruise-like burns. Rose had never seen them in full action, but she heard more than enough about the Flourite Octet. Rose slowly closed her hand, as much in submission as in command: the orb flickered out and the game's trick lighting was left alone. She sighed. Vriska. There was nothing quite like the aftermath of one fight to remind you of the next.

The rest of her walk was quick. She passed by several suspiciously clean tubes of fluid, not unlike the one John had used to tend to Gamzee, but that was the end of her tour. At the end of the hall she found a doorway, which opened into Tavros' cramped domain and let out all the noise.

"Oh dear," Rose said. "Oh... oh dear."

Eridan and Vriska were _roaring_ at one another. Eridan said something about how adult Trolls, and they both began to call each other wigglers over and over until the term lost all meaning. Rose advanced and was about to shut the door behind her when an adrenaline rush hit her and she slammed it instead. The fighting paused momentarily at the sound, before picking up again.

"What was that?" Rose asked her own hand. She shook her head and continued down the hall in a slight daze. The voices only got louder. She reached a t-junction, and heard them almost at full force to the left, probably in Tavros' computer room.

Eridan shouted: "if you had the slightest idea wwhat you wwere talkin about—"

"Oh, hey, here's an id8a! _I_ was the one who— "

 _Step._ Rose froze, and turned back. She had just rounded a corner, and it was impossible to see beyond. She turned back, and the sounds repeated. _Step. Step._ In her pause, the sounds had gained, definitely footsteps. Someone was coming close on two feet. A lich, she thought, probably one of the stray underlings that they kept finding in the Underlab. Liches were certainly subtle enough, compared to their fellows. Worse, they had skills approximating the player who had provided their prototypes. Rose barely understood her own powers, and was far less prepared to put up with any combination of twelve others. She casually brought a hand up in front of her to extract both needlewands from her syllabus.

"—think a8out it, that makes _me_ the one who should 8e calling the shots! "

"you aren't evven fuckin listenin to me"

"Hisssssssss-p..."

Rose rounded to face her opponent, one arm raised in a guard, but no blow came. The hall was empty. Rose kept her eye on nearest corner, checking behind her only once to make sure there was space to retreat. She began to back off.

"Liches don't hiss," she whispered in reminder. They growled, not unlike a hollow Gregorian chant. The hiss was bad. If the lich was clever enough to sneak up on her, even if it was cat-prototyped it wouldn't have hissed. That meant it had friends – stupid ones, but friends – waiting in ambush. Briefly, Rose considered ducking down the hall toward the others, but her visibility would be shot. She certainly was not going to go around the corner to meet them.

"fuckin bitch"

"Jackass!"

"Eridan!" Rose called instead. "John! Jade! Vriska!" Her foot hit the back wall, and she took a quick glance to find that the branch of the junction ended at a dead end, save an abandoned to one side. No one heard her, not over the fighting. Rose banged on the wall, instead. She still had fairly vivid memories of her last few encounters with the Trolls' high-level underlings and did not like her odds.

"if i had my way, vris, i'd show you right off that—"

 _Step._

A shout escaped Rose's lips and she once again tried to wheel, and banged her wrist against the back wall. It took a moment for her rational senses to return. The step had come from behind her, and this time it had been worse. She had felt a hand reach out to brush her arm. But there _was_ nowhere behind her. Her sore wrist was a testament to that. It took her a moment longer to put together the pieces, and when she did she discarded her wands into her inventory and set off toward Vriska and Eridan at a doubled pace, biting her tongue to keep from screaming bloody murder.

Rose found John in the doorway leading to Gamzee's room, head hung and grimacing. When he saw her, he tried to put on a smile, revealing his teeth locked in a grind.

"They're doing it again!" Rose shouted at once. She pointed to the computer room. "Why is it happening _again_? I thought we had gotten used to it, or... or something!" As she slowed to talk to him, Rose twitched, elbowing back at the spectral presence grasping at her sides. "Why is it _worse_?"

"I dunno, Rose," he said. "We've been wondering for a while, too. It was always a _hiss_ , sometimes I _heard_ them, but now it's..."

"Argh!" Jade shouted from inside of the room.

Rose angled to look, before stopping cold. John seemed to recognize her concern. "Gamzee's sleeping," he said, and demonstrated, using his hands like a pillow before quickly returning them to his ears.

Rose nodded an embarrassed thanks and looked in. Sure enough, Gamzee was sleeping through the storm, even chuckling to himself in his dream. His stump was just visible over the surface of the sopor; to Rose it looked like nothing more than a twisted and tied mass of gray and indigo. Jade stood in one side of the room, near the small office kitchen setup that dominated one wall of the room. She had her back decidedly against the wall and her hands were in the exact pose she would use if she were going to summon her rifle. Rose also saw an unexpected sight in the room: Kanaya, who sat with an indigo, woollen bundle in her lap, which she was adjusting. A short examination told her it was some sort of one-armed sweater. Kanaya met her eyes and took on a look of disbelief, before she angrily shooed Rose in the direction of the fight. Rose went at once.

John followed. "I was wondering if it was happening again because they're so mad," he said. "Like, maybe it's supposed to happen when they're mad, and it was only happening before because their voices were, maybe, breaking?" His voice did him a disservice by breaking on its own as he spoke. "You?"

"The Trolls had never really seemed to be aware of their vocal undercurrent," Rose said, "but you may be right. You know the Troll's vocal tones? Jade can mimic some of their tones quite well, so they're not biological, they're a sort of cultural inflection. But isn't it strange that they tend to use the tone when they're emotional, just like the hiss? Perhaps it's not a coincidence." She looked over for a response, but John had not heard her. The fight was simply too loud. Eridan shouted in disgust at something Vriska had said, so enraged that both Rose and John half-rounded on the same invisible pursuer. Rose's put her arm around John's back to push him forward until they had reached the door.

The scene in the room was actually quite tidy, for Tavros. There was nothing torn down and dumped to the floor, there were no fiduspawn-slime footprints or fresh broken 8-balls. The occupants were disruptive enough on their own. Vriska had edged Eridan against a shelf cluttered with Tavros' leftover quest items. They were shouting only a pace apart. Tavros was still in his computer chair, the computer open to an abandoned word processor. His heavy feet were still stuck to the floor, but Tavros had otherwise curled up in to a tiny ball as he watched the fight: a tiny, tiny ball with giant horns sprouting in each direction.

Vriska saw them enter. Her expression on seeing Rose was inscrutable, but with John it snapped back to rage.

"Well, we're all here, aren't we?" She stepped up and away from Eridan. "Well then we can just get this party started, huh????????"

The undercurrent sensation again draped about Rose's back, and for the first time she could make it out Vriska-shaped speaking her words. They were the same height, the grasping fingers were claw-tipped, and Rose could even feel Vriska's long, loose hair tickling the back of her neck as a predator's teeth hovered above the back of her neck. Rose could even _smell_ Vriska – lingering sopor and some sort of mild Troll body wash – but she hoped that was just the fact that Vriska had been in the room for going on half the day. Stuck on weird Troll things, Rose noted that Vriska's fingernails had changed. Where her teeth were still some sort of off-metal, her fingernails were glimmered off-orange in the light, like her horns. Rose was not sure when they had changed colour, but it was hardly her immediate concern.

Rose had not really thought about how to pick apart the fight when she had been en route. She now realized that that had been a critical mistake, but she was not sure any plan would have survived contact with the incident in the hallway. "What is wrong with you two?" she hissed. "The very fact that you've been going on as long as it took me to get here is bad enough!"

Eridan slammed his hands on the shelf to draw attention back to him. "this psycho-bitch's been tryin to call me out for nothin but _exactly what i was supposed to do, vris!_ "

"Stop shouting!" Rose winced as her mind tried to comprehend both spectral Vriska and spectral Eridan crowded her at once. Their position in the real world was slightly impacting the position of the ghosts, but not much. Her pet peeve with the game's lights seemed stupid compared to the two ghosts sharing the same Space. She understood just why Jade was on the brink of arming herself.

Vriska flipped her hair away. "Oh, go crawling to the auspistice, Dualscar! Like a heeeeeeeero!"

"Oh that is _it_!" Eridan said, and shoved her. Luckily for everyone, this seemed to only make Vriska laugh. In the background, Rose could make out Tavros trying to caution his matesprit down with his hands, but no words managed to squeak out of his mouth. "You're just a  fuckin cowward vris!" Rose's mind squirmed. It refused to accept this new threat like it had force-swallowed Kanaya's simple hiss and echo, the day Rose had been possessed. Eridan kept on shouting. "You know you can't fight me so you're just going to play mind games!"

"Oh, can't I?" Vriska's smile faded. "...Come see." Her muscles primed. She had not replaced her jacket and her bare arms showed the impact of her still-progressing false moult more than ever. Vriska's muscle definition was very clear, where Tavros and Eridan had lost theirs behind their armoured skin. Rose felt no one would be stupid enough to outright charge her.

No one but Eridan Ampora. Eridan took one step forward and Rose practically jumped, but she was too slow. Vriska snapped out with her hand and grabbed his scarf, using it to slam his gut into her rising knee. For a moment, Eridan was nothing but a mass of cape that Rose could not attempt to pull away, but he rose with a fist to Vriska's hip. That gave him room to stand, and he accidentally snagged her chin with his horn, making her wince and giving Rose an opening. She pushed herself in between them and shoved them apart, twice.

Rose tried to stand firm, or at least to hold her arms firm as her body screamed protest. Rose was perfectly happy to buy John's theory now. Once Eridan had charged, once their bodies were primed for the attack, the undercurrent threw off its pretence and reclaimed its trademark hiss, furious and piercing. It was coming with even the slightest grunts and groans. Where Kanaya, with all her built-up trust, had accidentally sent Rose to a panic, Eridan and Vriska all but destroyed her ability to think straight at all. They both thrashed against her, but diving in between the two of them had swapped Rose's instinct from flight to fight, and she gave them both a final shove in opposite directions. She followed Eridan.

Eridan struggled to fix his cape, and Rose slapped his hand aside. "' _Come. See _'? She says 'Come see' and you _walk in_?" Eridan looked confused, as though her admonition was the first and only trickle of an idea telling him he had made a mistake. Rose shoved him off to John. Her friendleader jumped when Eridan bumped into him. He practically had to catch him, which he did with some hesitation. Clearly John had taken a hit from the hiss as well.__

"Let's get something straight!" Rose said, surprised to find that she was shouting. Vriska brushed her hair away nonchalantly, a small gash on her chin bleeding openly and ignored, her hand on Tavros' shoulder. "I don't _care_ what you two do in your private time. I would like to have some idea so I can actually _be_ an auspistice. But really, I don't care if you spend your time throttling each other, or destroying each other emotionally, or whatever you want to do. In fact: I wouldn't much care if you slipped out of here to Vriska's and made a bucket out of the whole place!" _That_ got their attention. Eridan went numb in John's arms and Rose heard Vriska's gasp of air. Tavros' reaction was less related to the subject, as Vriska's wince had dug her claws into his shoulder.

"uH,,," he said. "uHH,,,"

"Oh!" she said suddenly. "Sorry, wiener." She lifted her hand, paused, and then patted the shoulder twice before settling back, as though that made it all better.

"The only thing I care about is that you don't kill each other doing it, but if you're going to shout so loud you disrupt the rest of the building, I'm going to toss you into this looping room I just found outside! Now," Rose growled, "we're going to talk, and you're going to tell me what happened." They both immediately began to talk at once, trying to overcome the other after only three words. Rose pinched at the bridge of her nose for a moment. Thinking back to her conversation with John, she reached inside of herself and tried to pull out her inner Karkat. "Quiet!" she tried. Nothing. Her tone was all wrong. She sighed aloud and tried something a little closer to home. "Oh, go on. By all means, it's not like the rest of the lab is trying to sleep."

When that did not work, she imitated Eridan and slammed a hand down on the shelf, which did. "Now here's what we're going to do:" Rose said, and she tried to work out exactly what that was. She had to pick one of them to tell their story while seeming impartial, and without Vriska's luck becoming a factor. While Tavros would be neutral, she did not want to put him on the spot. Her mind whirled. _Draw straws. Dice. Spin a needlewand. Eeny, meeny, miny..._

As she focused, if only for a second before, she again stumbled over the flame in her heart that represented her powers. It flared with energy, between her adrenaline rushes and her use of it in the Dungeon. Touching it, she thought up an answer.

"I'm thinking a number from one to five thousand," she said.

"Twelve-oh-four," Vriska said before Rose had even finished. _Dammit!_ said her brain. But her heart was not finished.

Eridan sputtered. "Uh... uh... six-twelve?"

Rose shook her head, letting her Seer's heart guide her, if only for lack of anything else. "Thanks for interrupting, Vriska. _Furthest_ wins."

Vriska gasped, covering a laugh. "You're a _che8er!_ " To Rose's relief, Vriska's anger seemed to have faded, and the use of tone went by without incident.

"Hey, why does she away with it?" Eridan had freed himself from John at last.

Rose coughed, just slightly but always loud enough, a trick she had learned from her mother. "You're on the clock, Mr. Ampora, I suggest you start talking." She conjured up a note pad to complete the illusion. The two items that had been pinned below it on her tree dropped to the floor, including the book of introductory Troll Law she had been studying, but no one seemed to notice.

"Well, you were there," Eridan said. "This morning. Vris challenges me to go grab some coat from, uh..." He looked back at John.

"Oh, uh... I already know!" John said. "...except you never actually brought it up or anything!"

"Exactly!" Vriska said, as though this proved her case, but Rose silenced her with another cough.

Eridan continued: "So I start thinking how I'm going to ask him for his coat-thing and then I think... 'Wait a sec, he doesn't have to know at all!'"

"This is how you know he's lying just a little," Vriska said. "He's never thought something through in his life!"

"Hey!" Tavros said.

"Oh, I'm just kidding, Tavroooooooos! You know th8t."

Eridan glared at her, but continued. "I made a backup plan to get Jon to take off his clothes on his own. I carefully arranged for him to upset his drink all over his shirt, which would force him to—"

"Oh yeah!" John interrupted. "He bumped into me at dinner, just a little."

Eridan scowled. "that wwas a carefully planned strategy ingrate" John shrugged. "Anyway, he went up to change and a few hours later I went to get his stuff!"

"Hm," Rose thought allowed. "So that was you in the hallway." She wondered where Dave had gotten to if that was the case.

"What it means is that he's a _serious_ cheater!  GU1LTY!" Vriska's impression of her Scourge Sister was impeccable. Rose was a little jealous. "By the way, John..." She tossed him his stolen clothes. "They don't fit me either."

Rose kept her eyes on her pad as she made a few notes. "What a shame there's no one in this lab that's a good enough seamstress to refit your clothes." Vriska growled at her, but Rose was already half way to changing the subject. "What about you, Vriska? Don't tell me this whole fight is about him winning your bet. I'm not in the bookie business so you'll have to excuse me if I need to spend the next part of the month studying up."

"Tsk," was all Vriska had to say at first. "Listen, Lalonde, this isn't about Numbfins winning the bet! I don't mind that! Vriska Serket pays _her_ debts! This is about him being a cheating... cheat... cheater!" Her theatrical tone had evaporated in the end, and she took an angry step in his direction. "And bigger than that: he didn't actually do the bet! He was supposed to do it in front of Karkat! _Maybe_ I'd go with it if he was a good  manipu8tor, but all he is is a shill! You didn't pull it off, I don't have to do a thing!"

Rose raised an eyebrow _just so_. "So this whole fight has less to do with your relationship... and more to do with whether or not this is a legitimate business transaction?"

"Aww, that's not fair, Rose," John said. "Think about it! Anything can be romantic if you do it together!"

Rose would honestly rather not, and was glad that the others had not overhead John. Eridan had gone into a rant about intent versus law, while Vriska chanted "No one cares. No one cares. No one cares," through the whole monologue. Even Tavros seemed put off by that point. The sad look on his face looked deep enough to etch there permanently. Rose turned over to Eridan and stepped close enough to whisper.

"...What are you doing?" she asked.

Eridan huffed at her. "I'm pointing out that she's a lying backstabber is what I'm doing."

"Is going for a swim really this important to you? Or whatever else you're trying to get out this?" Rose checked back at Vriska, who was behaving, if only by miming jokes about Eridan to John and Tavros. "Because if you and Feferi weren't still awkward, she would have taken your 'swimming' idea and turned it into a mandatory pool party the second Gamzee is back on his feet." Eridan took this in, and then continued to take it in. "Stop thinking about everyone in their bathing suits."

"ww-wwhat?" Eridan coughed. "Roz! Tav and Vris are _right there_." Rose crossed her arms. "...besides, that's not really private, is it?"

"Eridan," Rose said, "if you're aiming for intimacy, I'd try an angle that doesn't make her want to gut you."

Eridan harrumphed and slicked back his purple spike of hair. "Just givin' the lady what she doesn't want, babe."

Rose backed off, apprehensive. "...Flirt later," she instructed, and turned to her other charge. "Vriska!"

Vriska was trying her best to suppress a laughing smile into a smooth, and she leaned one arm against Tavros' chair. "...Yeah, babe?" she said.

Rose turned a sharper shade of red. "I don't see what you see in him at times like these," she admitted.

"Then you do see what I see in him!" Clearly this was meant as a joke, but Rose did not follow. Vriska groaned. "Ugh, you Humans!" She squashed her fingers into a rough spade. "But seriously, yeah, times like these he can just go jump off a cli— ...sorry, Tavros."

Rose was not sure what she found more surprising: that Vriska was apologizing, at all, or how Tavros reacted. "No..." he said, "it's okay, Vriska. We can be attracted to different parts of his personality." He did not even look up when he said it, or fall into his usual chocolate malaise. He was so focused, and put out, by the fight that he was no longer paying attention to anything at all.

Rose tried to turn back to the subject at hand, if only because it was Vriska and focus was paramount. "Look, first things first: are you actually opposed to doing the swimming thing?"

Vriska paused for a moment, not to consider the answer so much as to decide if Rose deserved the information. "...Nah. It's not so bad a plan. Swimming's fun. We relive a few childhood memories, he gets and eyeful, I get an eyeful, I hold his head underwater until he stops struggling... it could be fun!" Rose had tried to maintain a stoic, neutral expression, but it must have cracked, because Vriska looked at her funny and then added: "...Gills."

"Right!" Rose said, before she could hide her surprise. She tried to regain her composure. "...Point two. Why not give him this one?"

Vriska twitched, and then smiled. "Rose, I knew you'd ask that! That's why I took my valuable time to prepare this answer." Vriska grabbed Rose by the arms and shook her. " _What?_ "

Rose knocked her away. " _Give_ him this one, so that he doesn't lose interest in these games you're so fond of. So fond of _rigging_ , might I point out, so he's not exactly going to win those either. What do you lose?"

"Oh, Rose," Vriska said, with a roll of her eyes. "You're not thinking like a planner. Throw a few more layers into your stupid plan there! See, with your plan, all he has to do is keep cheating! And he's going to keep cheating if I let him get away with this one!"

Rose lowered her voice to a whisper. "But _you're_ cheating! I know this might be alien to you, Vriska, but when you play a game, someone's going to lose, and if you change the rules—"

"Don't you lecture me!" Vriska said, ignoring Rose's change in volume. "You don't know the half of it!"

"What, the half of your 'layers'?" Rose leaned in closer. "If this isn't about the bet, then this is just you trying to humiliate him!"

"Of _course_ I'm trying to humiliate him!" Vriska had suddenly dropped to match Rose's whisper. "What about this don't you _get?_ That's even what I said! In front of him! And Feferi and Sollux! His ex, his black crush, how public does it have to be?"

"...but not Tavros."

Vriska pulled slowly back from Rose, perhaps having not even noticed that she had dropped volume as soon as she mentioned humiliating Eridan. "...Tavros knows the deal."

Rose allowed Vriska to take a step further away from Tavros, who was either still hiding in his own little world, or was pretending he was not listening. "Does he really?"

"Of course he does! ...Look," Vriska leaned back in. "I might not want to be 'the jerk messing with his boyfriend,' but I'm still the jerk messing with _mine_! Tavros understands that! The only one who doesn't understand that is you four!" Vriska threw up her arms. "Besides, say I do ruin Eridan's day in front of everyone! Tavros will just listen to the mighty Orphaner Dualscar's whining for an hour and then coddle him like one of his chow mein monsters, or... or _him._ "

Vriska waved an arm toward the door, and Rose looked involuntarily. There she saw Jade standing between her and John, looking incredibly guilty. Just past her friend, Rose caught sight of a pair of legs in black and white-spotted pants.

"EHhHhHheHe," came a familiar chuckle, followed by the sound of Gamzee smacking his lips twice. "wHaT's Up, DoC?"

Rose caught sight of Kanaya in the hallway, not meeting her eyes and leaving Gamzee to his jarring free will. Jade and John was more direct.

"Uh, everything's fine, Gamzee!" John said.

"Yeah, uh, but maybe John should give you a look in the other room!" Jade said.

Gamzee, who had been using John as a perch, wobbled and slipped forward. He shouted "Fuck!" and fell into Jade's arms, and she and John struggled to right him. They managed it, apparently to his drowsy amusement, but there he caught sight of Rose. His eyes locked on her, and his smile vanished. Though she had seen him, asleep, he had not seen her in a week and a half. "...hey Rosie."

"...Hi," Rose said. She tried to look him back, and shook out her hands as if to assure that they were empty. After a moment, Gamzee simply and slowly nodded and turned to the others, nodding to Eridan and Vriska as though obliged.

Suddenly, almost forgotten, Tavros took to his feet behind Rose with a soft whirr of machinery. "Hey bro," he said, his voice still dreamy but without his usual lack of confidence. "If you're up to it maybe we can get you to, uh, a wash, you know?"

"Fuuuck," Gamzee said. "I must be fuckin' rank." He raised his stump to sniff his armpit, and began to giggle at the results. "Alright, my man, we'll see how well I can do this without dragging your poor self into it."

Tavros raised one leg and then the other, the machinery spinning in a diagnostic test Equius had installed weeks prior. "I have, uh, all the confidence in you, bro. All of it." Vriska rolled her eyes. When Tavros was satisfied with the results, he crossed the room.

"Thank you," Rose whispered, no more able to meet his eyes than Gamzee's. Tavros barely nodded in response, and spent only a moment longer to squeeze Eridan's hand in passing before helping his moirail out of the room.

"Tavros!" Vriska called. "We keep writing when you get back?"

"Uh... yeah, I guess so, Vriska." Tavros took Gamzee's good arm over his back and they headed out. John and Jade stayed behind, as did Kanaya in the hall. She sighed as Gamzee passed and pretended to return to her work.

Vriska could not help but notice. "So this is how we're doing things now?" she said in the direction of her ex. "Karkat rants at us about 'Troll Pride' but we shove everyone who's fighting to opposite ends of the compound?"

Kanaya closed her eyes. Rose could understand her disappointment in her. To be stuck with a matesprit that could not even own up to her own mistakes... Rose wished she could talk to Gamzee. She _wished_ , and the shame pushed her well beyond the final straw Vriska had already laid on her back. Rose cut in front of Vriska. " _Shut up._ You have no right—"

Vriska laughed. "I'm concerned for the wellbeing of my auspistice!"

"Well here's my concern for you!" Rose stuck a finger in Vriska's face. "You tried to pull one over Eridan, he pulled one over you. Guess what! That means _you lost_."

Eridan burst out laughing, and all Vriska could manage was "W— No!"

"Aw, that was classic, Roz!" He slapped his knees. "Just shut her right the fuck down, that's the way to do it."

"Quiet," Rose snapped.

Vriska came closer to Rose's feelings with a solid "Fuck you!" to Eridan, and an attempt to get to him. Rose cut her off. "Out of my way," Vriska growled. Rose felt too crowded between Vriska and her sensory double to move out of the way even if she had wanted, even if they did both protest. She did not either way. "You have no say in this!" Vriska said.

"I have every right to step in on this unbalanced relationship! If you don't want me to do the job any more, say so!" Rose gave her a pause in which to do so, and even Eridan stopped laughing, as if worried Vriska would immediately take Rose up on the offer. When Vriska said nothing, Rose was not reassured: her charge looked more ready to dice her than break up with her. "I don't care if you go swimming or don't, but frankly, between all the punishment you've doled out, _breaking his bones_ and all the humiliation, I think you _do_ owe him. Now, I'm not your referee. But if you're going to make it personal, I just thought I'd throw it in there that you obviously lost!"

"Personal?" Vriska barred her teeth. "The 'other sides of the compound' thing was a fucking joke! Gog! I thought you were supposed to be the calm one!"

"If everyone else gets to shout, so do I!" Rose felt a sting at her eyes. Vriska was right, Gamzee had flipped her completely out of her calm, and that hurt her personally. Instead of checking for tears, she had an ugly thought and pinched the skin on her arm. Nothing. Rose supposed that was good, but only to a point. Though she could still imagine a certain tentacled nothing getting a good laugh out of her situation, Rose was forced to admit that this was a situation of her own poor devising.

"Alright," Rose said, and coughed as her voice broke. "I just want this to play out fair for everyone."

"Like hell." Vriska again tried to push past Rose, hard enough that Rose did not attempt to block her. She made for the door, but caught Eridan smirking at her as she went to pass. "What do you want?" she asked him.

He grinned. "Just waiting to see when you and Roz are gonna wrap up so we can go for a swim, you know?"

"Now?" Vriska looked back toward Tavros' chair. "We're _writing_. I was just going to cool off!"

"Oh come on," Eridan said. "He's giving Gamz a bath and shit. By the time he gets up he'll be dead on his feet, probably want to go straight to the 'coon. But we've still got time for a night-time swim, I think."

Vriska almost shook with rage. "You do not cut into my time with Tavros, Eridan. That was the deal!" Over her shoulder, she repeated: "That was the deal!" to inform Rose. To Eridan she added, almost genuinely despite holding up a fist: "It's not fair."

Rose sniffed. "Oh, so now it's important what's fair."

Vriska whirled back to Rose and Rose's guard went up. She felt the phantom presence behind her and saw Vriska's arm pulled, as though for a punch but with the fingers loosely splayed, claws ready. But some last measure of self-control stopped Vriska. She grabbed the nearby shelf and dug her claws into it instead. Once Rose was sure she had pulled her attack, she dropped her defence and reached up, hoping to pull Vriska away from Eridan. Vriska shook her off, and Rose gestured Eridan away instead.

"Listen, Vriska," she whispered. "We talked about this. If you've got feelings for Tavros—"

"This isn't about Tavros!" Vriska snapped, though her tone was as much hurt as angry. She pointed to Eridan. "All that Tavros matters in this is that _he_ doesn't deserve him. This is about you! And your nosey, nosey-nose habit of trying to pick my brain and break my plans! I did not bring you into this just so you could stamp on my feet or... or sneak around in my secrets!"

"...All right," Rose said. "But you also didn't bring me in here just to let your relationship fall apart. He's not going to stay with you under your boot, Vriska. And I don't think either of us want it to reach the point where I have to _really_ intercede, if he decides he can hate someone easier to deal with day-to-day! I will not believe you wanted to bring me here to sit aside."

Vriska sputtered. "I didn't— Didn't bri—" She continued to ramble and spit, a train derailed and smashing about. Rose did not like to see it as much as she wanted to be far from it, from it and Gamzee and Kanaya's disapproving look. When Vriska had recovered her countenance, there was ice in her breath. "You know nothing about me," she spat. "Nothing at all. You'll see."

Where she could not meet Gamzee's eyes, or Kanaya's, Rose could meet Vriska's, and they shot daggers at her until Vriska turned about to speak to Eridan. "I am not swimming tonight, Eridan!" She snapped up an eight ball that lay on the desk. "I'm getting some notes and I'll be back in an hour, and I expect you _gone_." Eridan grunted a laugh. Vriska snarled at him, but then turned to the door. "John?" she asked, and pointed to the cut on her chin. John shook his head: though it was still stained, it had stopped bleeding some time ago. "Good," she said. "See you later."

And then she turned, grabbed Eridan by the back of the neck and kissed him. Her other hand grabbed his scarf as if to keep him from breaking away, but after a moment of panic it was clear it would never have entered his mind. When she released him, she swatted the scarf end back toward him and thumped him in the chest. She then left without another word. The four of them watched her leave, and only Jade said anything, if volumes, with a barked "Hah!" Eridan looked at Rose and half-smiled.

"...I'm going to bed," Rose said. Deep in the back of her mind was her promise to talk to Eridan about their relationship, but at the moment the very idea made her feel woozy. She felt half obliged to pinch her arm again, which only served to remind her: "...I'm going to bed the long way."

Jade and John gave her sympathetic pats as she went. Kanaya had disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When Rose steps out of the wall, she is standing on the same platform canon!Terezi and Vriska would have their showdown, along with all that followed, if not the previous showdown as well.
> 
> "Twelve-oh-four." Rose's birthday.
> 
> Yeah. "Jon". I… I don't know how it sounds any different either.
> 
> Vriska's claws are orange because someone noted that Aradiacestor's skeleton (when she electrocutes herself) does not include her horns. That means they're probably made mostly of keratin, same as fingernails. This was always sort of likely (I mean, that's how things are on Earth), but that clever forumite spotting the image brought it to the forefront of my mind while I was writing. So why are orange fingernails only on post-moult females? The most scientific reason of all, folks: the retcon wizard did it. Best to leave her to her work. EDIT: But then they were yellow all along! Whaddya know. Thanks anon.
> 
> Kanaya's voice actress was not available for this episode, apparently. I didn't even know that was possible! All kinds of crazy stuff going on behind the scenes over here.


	23. Chapter 23

Things calmed, or so it seemed. Work continued unabated and in time Rose came to forget about her fight in Tavros' room. Vriska and Eridan ultimately did have their hatedate in the pools, and since Vriska seemed pleased the next day, Rose could only assume Eridan had almost gagged before remembering he could breathe underwater. She almost seemed _too_ happy, but Rose could not get a handle on why that was, as Vriska avoided her at every turn. Rose eventually started to let her, and was soon giving Eridan space as well, since he seemed content enough. In their absence, Rose's attention turned to Kanaya. She knew Kanaya was upset about her unwillingness to talk to Gamzee, but the problem was as hard to talk about as it was to fix, and Rose had outright avoided her girlfriend the morning after her charges' fight. But she knew everything was fine when she and Kanaya took a break from construction together in John's absence, and they had joked and laughed. Rose was happy for the return to semi-normal.

Kanaya was never much for talking to or even in front of John. To be honest, Rose was starting to prefer the time apart from him, though she would never tell him so. When they were laughing, Kanaya would sometimes ask Rose to help her clean her face from smudges, ever decorous. It was in a moment like that, as the week came to an end, that Rose noticed something about Kanaya that she had not noticed before. It struck a very strange chord in her that she thought had long past: for the first time, Rose realized she was in a relationship with an alien.

It wasn't the horns. It wasn't the skin, gray or green-split where moult tried to turn one dissimilarity into another. It wasn't the teeth, or the tongue, or any potential differences clothed over and yet unknown. What happened was that Rose saw a laugh coming on Kanaya's eyes before it hit her lips. It was so odd. Trolls laughed in their eyes before their lips. Rose was surprised to the point of a happy silence. And while that was delightful, Rose saw more. She saw that Kanaya's body primed before any instinctive action, another hunter's skill. Rose snuck glances at Kanaya over the course of the day, and began to look closer and closer. Kanaya began to notice around lunch, and Rose caught her surprise "prime" before Kanaya consciously reacted. Her lips creased ever so slightly. Her blush at the attention was more obvious, but she said nothing.

Kanaya's eyes were sunken, in the way all the Trolls were, with darkened shadows under the eye that was not quite skin, not quite shade. In another close moment, Rose saw that Kanaya did not lack the odd, under-eye fold one could see easily on Karkat, Eridan and Nepeta: Kanaya's was simply less pronounced, just a ripple on the skin. Kanaya's eyelashes, lacking their usual makeup during work hours, were courser than a Human's and thicker, but also less plentiful. The orange in her eyes ran with a green bloodshot the moult must have given her. It was all so fascinating. Kanaya's eyes were simply – as was becoming easier and easier to say – beautiful.

Beautiful as they were, Rose's curiosity was piqued for more. At lunch, her eyes began to wander.

"what, iis there 2omethiing on my face?"

"rose, i wanna have a staring contest too, i'm really good! okay, ready, set, go!"

"1 SN1FF YOU W4TCH1NG M3, ROS3. UNDR3SS1NG M3 W1TH YOUR 3Y3S. DONT H3S1T4T3! T4K3 M3 IN YOUR P4STY HUM4N 4RMS!"

"…………………you have e%cellent potential as an observer, Human. Consider that a professional opinion."

Rose began to notice the most mundane Troll Things: things she should have noticed all along. She took an interest in how their hair parted about their horns. She noticed that some of Nepeta's catlike motions were actually common to the lot. She saw that Vriska's terrifying post-moult claws were triple-striped down to the lunela, and that the muscles on Equius' bare back were arranged quite unlike Dave's.

After lunch, Dave and Aradia started pulling them aside to test their combat skills against some of Jack's techniques, so that they would be ready once the platform was ready. They passed over Rose, which was disappointing. She and the others had not seen Dave in days, and there was appeal in saying hello with an ironic smack to the head. Kanaya was selected instead. She returned to their scaffold panting for breath, her work clothes stained by green sweat and had a set of cuts in her work jeans, already game-healed and fading away on her skin. She collapsed to the scaffold in a slump, to catch her breath from the spar and climb. Rose watched her. There was a rumble in her breath Rose had always heard but never noticed, and the undercurrent hiss was present, riled by her physical activity. When Kanaya once again caught Rose staring, this time she did not blush. This time she looked back, and met Rose's eyes with intensity.. Her voice rough, Kanaya began to half-complain and half-joke about her thirst, and asked John for some cold water. Oblivious, he left them both alone.

As he climbed out of earshot, Kanaya continued to speak about her condition, even though it was obvious Rose was only half-listening. The disconnect was startling. The voice was her girlfriend's but her body was giving opposite, alien signals: equal parts bestial, fierce, and inviting. Her body seemed wont to continue play-fighting, or for battle for real, but in unspoken signals and disposition, Rose knew she was being welcomed closer. Surprising herself, Rose found she very much wanted to go.

"What's the matter?" Kanaya asked, after Rose missed a joke. She grinned up at Rose, one fang bit nervously on her lower lip.

 _John is… certainly taking his time back to the dry-dock,_ Rose thought.. Kanaya shifted, about to raise herself up to Rose before Rose dropped next to her instead. Kanaya smiled with surprise, and then went just as silent as Rose cupped her chin, and ran her thumb slowly along Kanaya's face. Rose started to reach up with the cloth, but the excuse seemed… unnecessary.

Rose realized she was staring again, and tried to fill the silence with the first thing that came to mind, without bothering to check it first. "My, but you're gorgeous, Miss Maryam," Rose whispered, feeling altogether too embarrassed and florid the moment the words left her lips. But Kanaya smiled, and gently pushed aside Rose's hand. At once they moved together, slowly. Slower. And then… they stopped: lips a decisive touch apart, cursing their cowardice and ill-experience.

Excitement quickly crumbled to embarrassment. Rose, her eyes still closed, could feel Kanaya rehearsing a line to defuse the situation. Their kiss had come so close to success that she could feel every brush of motion from Kanaya, and that made it so much more a failure. Rose strained to keep from sputtering excuses of her own, when Kanaya suddenly let out a snicker. They had soon collapsed against one another in gales of embarrassed laughter.

"Do you much care to try again?" Kanaya said, confusing John as he made his way up the ladder. Her arms clung to Rose in a half-hug.

Rose pulled in close enough to kiss her ear: smooth, gradually pointed, like the rest: beautiful. "I think Dave would say that we just blew it. We blew it so hard we've got a one-way ticket to virgin school, on Virgin Airlines to the Virgin Islands, to learn how to be bashful and alone for the rest of our lives."

"Oh, I don't think it was so bad," Kanaya said. She caught John's confusion and started to laugh all over again. When she had calmed down, she nestled closer, to whisper in Rose's own ear as she stroked her hair. "Certainly we can find some way to meet in the middle, at Chaste Kiss School for the Gifted or the Troll School of Demure Flirtations."

Rose backed, until she could see Kanaya's face. Behind her, Rose heard John shuffling about in the world's worst attempt to pretend he did not exist. "Miss Maryam," she repeated from her earlier flub. "You're fishing for excuses to kiss me."

Rose once again noticed the physical "prime" on Kanaya's face as her body prepared for action. Kanaya feigned bashful, while a mischievous grin tugged on her lips: her body's secret betrayal. Rose returned the same smile. Her mind was practical, most of the time, but in her heart-of-hearts there dwelled a girl that loved wizards and fantasy and had seized on the romantic ideas Jade had put in her head a few nights before. Rose Lalonde was already decided. She was already making plans. There was going to be romantic kiss tonight if it killed her.

She sat up straight, pulling away from Kanaya, who looked incredibly disappointed by the return to the real world. "I was wondering," she said, "if you'd be interested in a walk Outside tonight."

"Why Miss Lalonde," Kanaya said. Her disappointment faded. "I think that would be delightful." She moved to sit up as well, but gasped for breath when she put weight on her still somewhat-wounded leg. "Ah! John, you'll have to excuse me another moment."

A voice hollered up from the level below. "WELL IT WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SO LONG ALREADY IF YOU YOU'D STUCK SUCKING EACH OTHER'S FACES!"

Rose and Kanaya met eyes and again broke down laughing.

"OH FOR… WHY IS THAT EVEN FUNNY! DAMMIT ALL! THE NEXT ONE OF YOU THAT LETS YOUR HORMONES GET IN THE WAY OF THE WORK GETS THROWN OF THE SCAFFOLDS, I SWEAR TO GOG!" Karkat jabbed his finger in Eridan's face as he passed him. "DON'T YOU EVEN TALK!" he said. "GOG DAMMIT!"

Rose and Kanaya spent the rest of the work day planning out their date with every free word. Kanaya seemed quite keen on wearing a dress Rose knew to be just on the edge of "formal," and so she fished around in her mind for one of her own in the same category. Before she had met Kanaya, Rose's formalwear was limited to clothes from a wedding when she was eight, so surprise was out the window. She settled on a bright dress Kanaya had painstakingly made out of fabric alchemized from Jade's Three in the Morning dress. Where Jade's dress was dark, made of a fabric that not so much caught the light as seized it away, Rose's was like a sunrise in orange. The fitting had been one of their more intimate pre-relationship moments, and then memory was as warm on her skin as the curious dress. Kanaya was to account for the food (she announced without mentioning Gamzee), and planned to have it served on the executive desk in her quarters. She reasoned that such a nice table should be used for something, since she was not using it on her own. Rose's stomach flipped when she realized their limited agenda came to a somewhat loose end just outside Kanaya's bedroom. She ordered her insides to behave and her tongue to withhold a double entendre that would be better lobbed at Strider, where Rose would take it less seriously.

Rose headed down from her room well before the date. Fully aware of the irony, she went to the kitchen pantry to change, as it was the best she had to a clean and private space. Travelling in the access tunnels in dresses, space-and-light-warping or otherwise, had seemed somewhat unadvised. The pantry sufficed, and the public alchemiter was a happy bonus. Rose changed quickly, alchemized a mirror and then, realizing it had slipped her mind, makeup. She checked her appearance and decided that since the alchemiter was right there…

Alchemizing her dress with her shoes churned out the **Nightgaunt in Heels** , a pair of shoes which were nowhere near as eldritch or even as darkly coloured as implied. She then plugged a copy of her dress and with her headbandtop, which causing the game to spit out a dress made of headbands. Rose flipped a few switches, reactivated the Previewer, and created the **The Dunwich Hairband** , which matched wonderfully.

But she was still missing something. Rose took to the ground and emptied out her inventory – all but the one card at the very top. After a moment's pause, she picked up two short story collections and used them to bury the Thorns in spite. Then she searched the pile and found what she was looking for: her mother's earrings, one of several items John had recovered from her house before they had left the game. Rose closed her hand over the jewellery. She was not in a very sentimental mood, even if picking through the old things had dredged up the memory of her conversation with John and Jade. Just to underline how very not sentimental she was, Rose began to ponder aloud how she would create a set of clip-ons. She was certainly not going to take out the Quills of Echidna for an impromptu piercing!

Ironically, it was the Quills that finished her design, along with the help of some garish purple mascara she had found in the Alchemiter's library – probably one of Gamzee's. To top it off, Rose used one of her mother's better martini glasses, again for absolutely no sentimental reasons whatsoever. The result was a pair of gold chandelier earrings, delicately twisted into the shape of the branchtips on the Quills of Echidna, and set with tanzanite. The alchemiter called them **The Lights of Starry Wisdom** and happily informed her that they boosted her Lightning Resistance by 35%. They attached without clip or clasp, another game cheat, and Rose admired herself in the mirror. Satisfied, Rose set to cleaning up, only to dawdle over her mother's scarf. It would have made a passable stole, she thought, if it had matched. Catching herself, Rose took the scarf into her inventory and left the room.

Rose ran into Equius at the door to the computer lab. When he saw her, he broke into his usual sweat and stepped aside, offering her the door with a flourish. "Pardons, Miss Lalonde," he said. "I hardly meant to interfere."

"Rose, you're purrty." Nepeta said, straight and simple.

"Tsk." Rose smiled. "You're just saying that for the pun."

Nepeta laughed and wavered her hand in the air before Equius bowed them both out. Rose watched them leave, half-curious how they both would look cleaned up a little. _This must be how Kanaya thinks all the time,_ Rose thought with a smile.

"Ah, shit, it's date night." Dave said from one side. He walked up to her from Aradia's computer, where he had been working alone. "Look at this, my sister's getting all dolled up for the night, and not even giving me the dignity of some thickhead male jackass to trash if he brings her home late at night."

"Oh, there he is," Rose said, glad at how bored she sounded. "He shows up after days and starts threatening my girlfriend and calling me strange names he's never used before."

Dave just huffed and swatted at her bangs. She grabbed at him, but any other conversation was cut off by the sound of the transportalizer behind him.

"…Fuck," said Karkat, "there's two of them."

"Been helping pick out outfits, Karkles?" Dave asked.

"You don't even know the half of it," Karkat said after a grunt. "I was handed so many shoes that at one point I slipped into another timeline where some of them were magically good again! I'm this far from ordering everyone barefoot. Everyone with the nausea ducts strong enough to survive will be happier for it."

Rose's intended reply was interrupted by the prod of a nose against her back. "Um… hi, Terezi," she said.

"This colour makes no sense," Terezi said. "What is it?"

"I believe we in the polite society that does not stick their noses into other people call it... 'orange'?" Rose said. That said, Rose could understand Terezi's confusion, given the weird way the dress played with light. Terezi lowered her eyes and promptly licked Rose's side.

"Ahem," said a voice. Terezi looked up to the speaker, as did Rose. "I see I've arrive a bit early…"

Rose bit her lip, first as her stomach dropped and then to stop the wild grin that tried to follow. "I'm as scandalized as you," she said, and stepped forward to offer her date a hand off of the short platform.

Kanaya had come in black, with long gloves and jewellery of her own: a white-silver necklace bearing her sign. She took Rose's hand gracefully and descended, giving Rose the opportunity to admire her appearance. Rose took it all in, down to ever more Interesting Troll Things in how she appeared to have polished or otherwise treated her horns. Her eyes were smiling, her gray skin smooth, and the only flaw in a short, picky list was a small moult cut that had sprouted on her ear. Rose overlooked it entirely.

Rose realized after a moment that Kanaya was as much inspecting her in turn. "You look wonderful," Kanaya said. She cupped one of the earrings. "These?"

Rose laughed, anxiety tangling her guts. "A few minutes free time with the alchemiter," she said. "Nothing near… well… your level of effort." She gestured down at her dress. "And you…" She gestured to Kanaya's face. She had seen the dress on her friend before, but somehow it was all different now. The necklace had some part to play – it was quite like Kanaya to draw attention to her neck – but this was them being dressed up for a _date_. Rose felt that that change a great deal.

"Oh, crap," Dave said. "Rose Lalonde's at a loss for words. Get the emergency fucking thesaurus, this is not a drill." He paced back to his computer.

Karkat, who had hung his head over his own keyboard, groaned. "No!" he said, apparently unclear that Dave was being facetious as usual. "I've been spending the last few hours comparing the exact same shades of green lipstick! I am going to bed!"

Kanaya scoffed. "Goodnight, Karkat!"

"I'm serious, Kanaya," Dave shouted from the computer. "Just Troll-marry her, you've accomplished the fucking impossible."

"Goodnight, Dave!" Rose rolled her eyes.

Rose and Kanaya had almost made it out the door when Terezi, to no one in particular, said: "Okay. Yeah. It was sort of orange. Tangeriney." Stuck in an empty room with her exes, she stalked off after Nepeta.

Rose wished she had alchemized a stole once they were Outside, which was always like an autumn's day in cold. A more obvious mistake presented itself after only a few steps. She and Kanaya walked for some time, short on conversation and shaking from anxiety, before Rose confessed: "It occurs to me that I made a set of heels so that I could go for a walk on a meteor." She looked down to see that Kanaya, too, was wearing heels. "You're cheating."

Kanaya returned a haughty dismissal. "Am I graceful because I'm a Sylph, or am I a Sylph because I'm graceful?"

"To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure what the 'Sylph' title even implies or infers," Rose admitted.

Kanaya laughed. "I think an Iguana I talked to said 'the' Sylph is 'One who embodies their element.' Ive Come To Suppose It Gives Me A Weaker But Passive Mastery Over Space Compared To Jade"

Rose smiled. "How do you do that?" she asked.

"Well, as I just said—"

"No," Rose interrupted. "The voice thing. I've been wondering. The… 'I've come to suspect…' No, still nothing. I can't do it."

Kanaya smiled. "Well, I suppose we could give it some practice."

"Please."

They finally began to talk. And talk, and talk into the night, treading the same footmarked path about the lab. Rose thought she might have seen Dave leaving the building at one point, but tried not to focus it. Where or whenever he and Aradia had gone, Rose could not see them by their next pass. Rose went back to being absorbed in the conversation. It was only when Kanaya invited her back for their meal that the anxiety returned in force. She swallowed, and accepted.

Kanaya gave Rose room to change in private before and after the trip through the tunnels. She offered to come with Rose, but had not brought a change of clothes, so Rose deflected her with more florid compliments about her dress. Kanaya took to the transportalizer with a smile and a roll of her eyes, and must have set out the meal while she waited. Rose arrived to find the office dimly lit with lovely scented candles Rose had never smelled on earth. Dinner was an Alternian game bird that must have been prepared by Gamzee long before he and Rose had become friends, though Kanaya did not say a word about it. Kanaya did admit that she had captcha'd the thing for such an occasion, probably because of Gamzee's unreliability. Unfortunately, when Kanaya found the Chastity Key for the card earlier that morning, her modus had balked and split the thing into its component parts before dumping them on the table. Kanaya had done her best to repair the damage. It tasted just as good, even if they had to admit it was a tragic visual mess.

Conversation continued where it had fallen off: psychoanalysis. Kanaya came to ask if Rose if it was possible for someone to psychoanalyse her or himself.

"Well… I'd be lying to say I hadn't tried," Rose said. "Strider and John often joke, what with my relationship with my mother." But as soon as the words had left her lips, Rose thought _No. No, that's not right._ She had often attempted to psychoanalyze her mother's behaviour, but had never seriously considered her own response. A much better example would be… "But then there's my behaviour… during the game." Rose looked down at her hand. "I put a great deal of things at risk. Yes. I've run that over in my head a few times. To be honest, I don't even remember how it stopped." She looked up at Kanaya, who only shook her head. Rose knew she knew even less than she, what with the blackout that had surrounded her. "I know Jade and the others tried to talk me out of it, and then I… went to Cetus." Rose thought hard, but shook her head.

"I'm sorry, Rose," Kanaya said. "For what it's worth, you also gained your team a number of important advantages in a very limited period of time."

"And I got Dave killed," Rose muttered in reply. "Well, or so any rational person would think. _He_ insisted to me that he was going to die anyway. That he was picking frogs with Jade out in the open, waiting for Jack to come and kill him, he says. Then he had a… ' _theological debate_ ' with Gamzee. Something made him leave. To come to the Battlefield with me and John. Jade came with, Dave got there first and… died." Rose quietly set her fork on her plate, eye still on her hand. "And I got to live on."

"And even that was a blessing in disguise," Kanaya said. "Dave would have a good deal of trouble keeping up with Aradia in the middle of space without the dreamself powers of flight."

"Oh, I don't know," Rose said. "He's Dave Strider. Sometimes I think that if he had wanted to fly, he could have flown." Rose met Kanaya's pitying eyes. Open confession time. "I haven't been much better since, have I?"

Kanaya frowned. "Haven't you?"

Rose shook her head. "I've won my fights against my dark friend. But I can't take back what happened to Gamzee. And I've been cowering ever since, haven't I? There's something to psychoanalyze. Kanaya, I'm…" The mental image came at her fairly quickly. Kanaya, in the hall outside Tavros', seeing Rose cowered at the very idea of talking to the friend she had maimed. "I'm sorry about the other day. To you and especially to Gamzee. This is just… so _hard_ on me, and I know I can't compare to how hard it is on him, but I keep acting like a little child about it. It's not doing you any credit, it's not doing my friendship to him—"

"Oh?" Kanaya asked.

Rose stopped, lowered her cutlery and wiped her hands off on her napkin. "'Oh'?" she quoted, putting on a happy tone where she was really just confused. She set her chin on her clean hands. "Oh dear. What did I say?"

Kanaya cleaned her own hands, more to hide her embarrassment than to be polite. "It's just… well… you've been avoiding him for days."

"Not entirely," Rose protested.

Kanaya granted that, to a point. "You've been looking at him, yes. But not talking, or meeting, or… helping."

"I've been upset!" Rose said, shocked, and a bit hurt. Surely Kanaya knew where she was coming from. " I haven't been able to face him. I've been a coward. I thought… you were ashamed at me about that," she confessed.

"Oh. No, no, Rose, not at all," Kanaya said. "Although I can see how you mean," she added, trailing off as she tried to fish for something more substantial to say. Rose was almost willing to wait for her, but her initial confession carried so much weight, that she did not particularly want to stop talking.

"I wish I could," Rose said. "It's like I can't even find a satisfactory middle ground. Either I go to him or I don't. The middle ground is indifference, and indifference reminds me of my time in the game, which reminds me that Gamzee was selected by my ethereal tormentor _in particular_. Did you notice? He had me sleep walk into a room with virtually everyone present. A room full of potential _targets_. And he picked Gamzee." Rose scrunched up her face. "…Not even you." Kanaya took the revelation with as much confusion as Rose, which was somewhat comforting. "Perhaps that would have been a push too far?" Rose supposed aloud. "You. Probably Jade, John or Dave. Gamzee and Terezi are new friends. But between the two, Gamzee helped me calm down, after you and I had our… moment, the day before you asked me out." Rose looked down at her food, a Gamzee original now splotched and mashed, at the tip of a clean, silver fork.

"Oh!" Kanaya said, with a touch of surprise. "I hadn't realized. I had assumed that was Terezi, for whatever reason. I knew the two of you were spending time together, but…"

"You need to be around more friends, I think," Rose said with a half-smile. "You seemed surprised when I called him my friend, earlier." By mentioning the earlier part of the conversation, Rose hoped to bring Kanaya back to her original point.

Kanaya wavered. "Perhaps. Look, Rose. I realize that the attack was coerced. You know I know that. It's just… your reaction afterwards! Once you had calmed down. You never so much as left a message. He's been asking about you. I haven't had anything to tell him."

It hurt to hear, but was nothing Rose had not suspected. She knew the rest personally. "Didn't you… tell him I was upset?" Rose asked.

"I hadn't realized you were still upset!" Kanaya had started talking faster. "I knew you were upset at first. Of course you were. Maybe it's not 'friends' I need to spend time with so much as people who are upset when they hurt someone. I suppose I'm not much used to this sort of… uh…" Kanaya looked to Rose for the word she was missing.

Rose suspended her irritation to supply her cross-cultural study partner with what seemed the ideal verb. "…Remorse?"

Kanaya nodded. "Yes. It's just: Rose, think about how this looks to me, and more importantly, to Gamzee. If _I_ didn't see this as remorse, he would certainly not have. I mean, he's Gamzee. And I can tell you he's very confused right now." Rose returned a grave not. "You both knew you can rely on one another, or had seen the leads of it, but all he has from you was that… show-down the two of you had in Tavros' room. How would you see that?"

"I guess that it might look like… I was abandoning him?" Rose shook her head. "Kanaya, please, I'm not in the mood for a game right now, this is a very sensitive issue to me."

Kanaya waffled. "What I'm saying is that he might think that you were considering… new circumstances."

It sank in, and Rose clapped her hands to her mouth, a feeling of nausea upsetting her happy palate. "You thought I was _black_ for him? Kanaya, tell me you're not serious." Kanaya started to answer but Rose interrupted her. "Please tell me he doesn't think this!"

Kanaya tried again, her hands turned up and innocent. "I thought you were _considering_ it. Everyone knows you've been approaching your auspistice with an open mind. I overheard you telling Jade that you found Gamzee somewhat physically attractive. I didn't think you were taking it as an option, a-at first, but it makes a certain amount of logical sense."

Rose shook her head, and broke her grip to force down a swallow of water. "I'm tasting bile!" Rose said, more to herself. "I'm… I'm sorry, Kanaya, this must look horrible to you, but I have never felt so guilty about Gamzee's arm than anything else in my entire life! Why on Earth would I want to go through that again?"

"Well, certainly not _that_ ," Kanaya said. At the mention of bile, she had taken to her feet, so that she could refill Rose's glass and be near if there was a sudden need. Rose felt guilty that she seemed more concern about Rose's stomach than Rose's accidental shot against black romance. "But I hadn't thought that you could… well, that you could still be friends at all, after that. I didn't understand that it was a possibility, or that it was something you both would even want." Rose hung her head. It was not as though the thought of running away from Gamzee had not crossed her mind. She wished she could be more eloquent, fill Kanaya in on the nuances, but nothing came. "All things considered, you struck Gamzee with a massive, caliginous blow, if accidentally. On one hand, if you were attracted to him, the quadrant is certainly open for the both of you. On the other…"

Kanaya cupped her hands in a bowl. "Consider this, as a Troll. If Gamzee is the sort of person you see yourself coming to value… if it were me, that would be something I would want to preserve." She closed the bowl, as if wrapping about a handful of metaphor. "And if he resented you for the injury… what better way?" Kanaya met Rose's eyes, hope for compression glimmering there. "The former is an emotional reason, and the latter: simply efficient, I thought. I didn't know if you were going to do it, but I can't pretend the thought didn't cross my mind. I admit I took it with a certain amount of jealousy." Kanaya tried to smile. "I thought I would have you to myself for some time, all things considered."

Rose shook her head. "I can't imagine it, Kanaya. I couldn't. Do you know? Does Gamzee…?" Kanaya shrugged. "I need to talk to him," she concluded. "More than ever. Gamzee and I aren't close friends, but I wouldn't take our association and thrash it, shred it, beat it. That's not what I want. It… it seems downright harmful. I don't want to hurt anyone like that."

Kanaya's smile faded, her brow furrowed. "'True hate preserves,'" she said, like a quote. Rose thought she might have heard the line before, from one of Karkat's movies. "I thought, as an auspistice, you'd have realized that." Kanaya returned to her seat on the opposite side of the desk, in the executive chair, and adjusted her hair. "…I'm sorry, that was rude of me. I know this is still relatively new to you."

Rose sighed. "No, I'm sorry. I'm the one being rude here. Let's not do that. It's not like I've been a perfect auspistice, either."

Kanaya forced a smile. "You do well enough."

"'Well enough'?" Rose asked with a wince. "Should I ask?" The issue with Gamzee was still at the forefront of her mind, and if asked, Rose would not have lied about trying to change the subject. "I mean, I suppose I've broken the mood, and who better for advice?"

Kanaya frowned. "Rose, I'm hardly concerned about the mood of our date when you're so upset," she said, reaching across the table. Rose reached out to her and she took her hand and folded it into her own. The way it lightened Rose's heart felt almost miraculous. Rose squeezed her hand back. "I'd like to think there's a relationship under all these attempts to impress one another," Kanaya added, with a smile. Rose found the strength to smile back.

After a healthy pause, Kanaya looked Rose in the eye. "It's up to you, Rose," she said. "Do you really want my advice about Vriska and Eridan?" Kanaya withdrew her hand, to let Rose make the decision on her own.

Rose took a moment to truly consider it. "Do you think I need it?" she asked. Kanaya shrugged, but it was clear that was only out of consideration for her feelings. Kanaya wanted to say something. It was starting to sink in on Rose that the relationship that had dominated all her time was about to be put under the microscope of a true professional, from start to finish. It also occurred to her that she might not like the expert opinion. But was she ready to learn? Kanaya certainly looked the part of the expert. She sat straight, fingers tented in a massive executive's chair, looking just as ready to deal out hostile merger as a harsh piece of relationship advice.

 _This is… going to shake things,_ Rose thought. "…Yes," She said. "They're dangerous. I have to know."

Kanaya nodded. "All right, then." Reassurances passed, took another bite out of her food, before closing her eyes to think. Her first words were: "When I say 'well enough,' I want you to know I say that as objectively as I can, considering your circumstances. Or rather, considering Vriska and Eridan. A heavily manipulative Troll and an oft-irrational Troll. Between 'unseen' and 'random,' someone in your situation can only do… so much."

"I understand," Rose replied.

Kanaya thought for some time before continuing. "…I Dont Think That Vriska Much Appreciated Your Decision To Interfere With Her Game"

"I can understand that," Rose admitted. "That was not exactly my best move, I realize. I'd take it back if I could, though I'm not sure what I could replace it with."

"I'm not… entirely referring to your change in mood after Gamzee's arrival," Kanaya said. In that Troll way Rose was just beginning to recognize, Rose realized that Kanaya was certainly frowning behind her hands. "Frankly, your aggressive shift may have been a good move if pointed in a different direction."

"A _good_ move?"

"Well, yes," Kanaya said. She lowered her hands. "Sometimes An Auspistice Does Have To Stand. Severely, if necessary. You have to make and enforce the tough decisions, to know what those are and to stick to them. It's very politic. There's guile involved, manoeuvring, true. But in the end we're still Trolls. Decisiveness will always be a factor. The Idea Being – please excuse me – That If You Were Truly Ashen For Them The Stability Of Their Relationship Or Whatever That Represents To You Would Evoke Strong Enough Emotions To Make You Decisive. The same way a friendship may make you naturally… allied?" Kanaya seemed to realize how unsure she sounded. "How a moirallegience would put you in tune with one another's' moods."

"You're saying I'm… wishy-washy?" Rose asked. Her choice of words had been meant as a joke but did not lift her mood. Kanaya frowned in confusion. "…'Fickle'?"

"What I'm trying to say isn't meant to be an insult, simply a cultural difference." Kanaya gestured circles with her fork. "Humans are less prone to outbursts of emotion. No need for moirails, or in a different direction, auspistices. But that's not a problem, in-and-of-itself. I'd like to think that Eridan or Vriska would have thought ahead and realized you'd have a different sort of impact on their relationship than a Troll."

Rose fiddled with her food. "I suppose we can hope." Eating was taking on much less appeal.

Kanaya seemed to feel the same. Her fork was now purely a baton. "But I'm concerned the fight the other day may have been the first real test of that hope. The real matter has more to do with the actual content of the argument. I have to return to my original point. I believe that overriding Vriska on the 'game' issue may have been a very poor idea from any angle."

Rose nodded, but feeling the need to get in her own two cents, added: "I thought you said I did well enough." She had known it would sound bitter, but it came out worse than intended. Kanaya opened her mouth to address the aside, but Rose waved her back. "I'm sorry. I suppose I'm still a touch sore. Please, continue. Better I know than I don't."

Kanaya sighed. "I believe that because Vriska was manipulating her bets, to her they represented her power in her kismesis. By directly attacking it, she may have perceived your attempt as a direct attack on… her. And your subsequent actions may have confused her even further."

Rose breathed deeply. She remembered the claws, cut just short from a swing. Rose did not like the idea of Vriska thinking Rose had attacked her where she was strongest. She wondered. "But… she kissed him."

"Well, certainly you've given her reasons to hate _Eridan_!" Kanaya said. "But her hatred for you has to be more level.  Your Auspistice Is Still A Relationship… not just some job you have to perform. The hatred is a critical component, please keep that in mind.. If A Hatred Geared Closer To Respect"

"Romance…" Rose muttered, and took to her feet, clutching her head. "I just don't get it," she said. She clutched a hand. "I mean… I think I get it one moment, and then the next she does something like… Tavros."

Kanaya watched her begin to pace, but nodded. "Please, continue."

"Even their being friends is becoming a problem. He needs to stand up for himself," Rose said. "Pardon me," she added, and reached down to take off her heels. She stuck to the carpeted section of the office after discovering the wood floor was freezing. "The poor boy doesn't need a moirail so much as a prodder."

Kanaya did not seem to have taken offence. "Tavros is doing well enough, for Tavros. I'm more concerned about his matespritship in the context of Eridan's kismesis. If it were me… I don't believe I would have encouraged the kismesis. But given our circumstances, I can see your perspective."

"I didn't exactly accept out-of-hand," Rose insisted, not wanting to bring up Kanaya's own attack on Vriska. "But I can see what you mean. Vriska's not reacting well to them, they're not reacting well to her."

Kanaya winced. "It's worse than that, I'm afraid. When you may have upset Vriska's power, you did so inside of his room. For all she knew, he may have still been in earshot."

"Oh." Rose stopped her pacing. "Damn, and Eridan noticed too! That's why he tried to take her out just after she said she'd stay to write! That little fishweasel!"

Kanaya nodded gravely. "He's learned a fair deal from her."

She was about to continue, but Rose interrupted. "And I haven't learned a thing," Rose grumbled. "What would I do without you?"

"You've been Human," Kanaya said. "And new at this." She reached across the table to pour them each another wine glass filled with water. Rose sipped at hers, now that her stomach was settled. She was developing a taste for plain water. Considering all the Faygo and cola consumed around the lab, it was downright refined. "As I've said, that is not a bad thing. Not at all."

Rose sighed. "I was trying to help." she said. "Vriska trying to rule the relationship like the Queen of Spades, I just…"

"Remember what I said about an auspistice having to act, Rose. The trouble was more in the way you did so." Kanaya took a sip from her glass and leaned gracefully in her chair.

"You mean in how I didn't anticipate her response?" Rose asked.

"Well…" Kanaya took a moment to organize her thoughts. "The trouble is that while you handled some of the fight admirably, I think it was clear your reasons were not always… orthodox. Even near the end, when you became most angry, you were still trying to help Vriska through the trouble."

"So?" Rose's belly was complaining. She had barely eaten at lunch, what with all their planning. She took a pause to angrily slip another bite into her mouth. "Isn't that the point?"

"Certainly," Kanaya said, "but your angle was wrong. You were pitying her, trying to help. Imagine how confusing that would have been to her."

"I wasn't exactly concerned with her being happy about it," Rose growled. Kanaya seemed to sympathize. "Wait, Kanaya. Hold on." Rose held up a hand, and repeated Kanaya's advice in her mind. "Are you saying what I think you're saying? That I'm… not supposed to be concerned for their wellbeing?" Rose frowned. She was still angry at Vriska for starting the fight, certainly, but was hardly unconcerned.

Kanaya caught her frown, and wavered. "Well, you should be concerned about their physical wellbeing, perhaps. The wellbeing of others that might be impacted by them."

Rose absently tapped her plate. "But their emotional wellbeing is tied to their physical wellbeing, and the wellbeing of others, because they're so drastic." It had not exactly escaped Rose's mind what the Trolls were capable of when they hated someone without boundaries.

"I don't deny that," Kanaya said, and then repeated: "But your concern seems pitying."

"You can't think I should be mechanical?" Rose asked, indignantly. It all seemed so cruel.

"No! I think you should be very emotional! Just…" Kanaya tipped her head, like a sympathetic shrug. "…Just hating, not pitying." When Rose scowled at this response, Kanaya amended: "Neutral, at least!"

Each confirmation from Kanaya was jus making things worse. "But… this is ridiculous!" Rose said. "I-I'm sorry," she added, though her emotions made it hard to continue evenly. "But am I hearing you right? Because your species has divided pity and hatred down the middle, I'm not allowed to feel _any_ pity or regret about Vriska, Eridan or their situation? A complete emotional disconnect, affection sucked out until there's nothing left but hate?" Kanaya frowned. "Kanaya, I'm emotionally invested now. I didn't sign on for the kind of… one-sided nothing that you're describing." The more she rolled it over in her head, the less sense it made. A buried part of her mind tried to point out that she would certainly not want to hate Kanaya, but how was she possibly supposed to look out for Vriska and Eridan with nothing but hate?

Rose shook her head. "I'm going to have to talk to Vriska and Eridan now too. Okay. Fair. But you can't seriously expect me to treat them like nothing more than a… a rash that won't go away!" Rose hung her head. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be mad at you. I realize what I keep saying must be so insensitive. I just… I'm taking this in."

"It's certainly not as though you're 'not allowed.'" Kanaya said. She got up and approached, and settled side-saddle on the edge of the desk. She cut a striking figure even with her casual perch. Rose wished the conversation could wrap up, not just so the issue would go away, but because she knew just how much of a wreck she must have looked, sunk into her chair. "Its Not As Though Karkat And I Will Be Standing In The Shadows Like Some Sort Of Bureaucratic Ethics Body Waiting For You To Misstep In Your Troll Relationships. Equius Our Enforcer Nepeta Keeping The Books. We're not going to quash you for having a personal touch. In fact, I'd say it's important all on its own. Don't you think?"

Rose did not laugh. "Kan," she said instead, "do you think I've done any serious damage? First Gamzee and now _this_ …"

It was clear Kanaya did not know. "Manipulative and irrational," she repeated with a shrug. "Could anyone tell?" Rose's face fell, some of her hair falling to block her eyes. Kanaya reached out to brush it back. "I can't solve everything. It's your relationship. All I can say in the end is that you may want to exercise more… caution when it comes to your hate-relationships." Rose turned away with a scoff and set to gently bite her opposite fist. Only after she had moved did she regret moving out of Kanaya's soft touch. "I understand you're stressed, Rose. I feel somewhat responsible. It seems to me that your confusion would be cleared up if you just had a better grasp of the quadrants. I'm afraid I feel somewhat responsible."

Rose glanced back, her fist against her cheek. She clenched it, wishing she could knock away the problems that had cropped up. "The quadrants?" she asked. "You're hardly responsible for that." It was just starting to sink back into her mind that she was on a wildly derailed date. She wished she could take it all back, and start over, starry-eyed and falling head-over-heels in her mind over her girlfriend. Instead she was stuck on the ground, trying to solve the Rubick's Cube that was her damaged, faulty auspistice. She could kick herself.

"Well, yes, in a way, I am." Kanaya said. She had settled her hand by her side, graceful as ever, and settled into a lounge on top of the desk. "I was your first teacher on the subject of hate and pity, before Karkat."

"Should have paid more attention to the hate," Rose muttered.

Kanaya nodded. Just… nodded. That was what Rose saw, and that was what she was supposed to see. But Rose could not help it. Even after the long lecture, she had still been watching her girlfriend. She was beautiful, gorgeous in her specially chosen outfit, even sexy. And she was lying. Rose had seen it flit across her eyes. Perhaps it was because she was a Seer, or maybe it would have been as plain to anyone, if they knew where to look. That new, pretty Troll Thing from the morning had shown Rose Kanaya's surprise before she had buried it. Then, she noticed how Kanaya's nod had not been preceded by a muscular prime: it was not her instinctive response. A hunter's choice skills were of no use in a conversation. It would appear they were even becoming a detriment.

An ugly notion popped into Rose's mind. There, it began to grow. "You don't mean… all the quadrants?" Rose's anger over her cracked auspistice was pushed aside: still present, it was muffled by hurt. "…Ours? Because I don't think I've so much as interacted with a moirail pair for the past few days. Unless…" she said with thin hope, "I've accidentally said something about you and Karkat…"

"What? No! I-I Mean…" Kanaya, who had been leaning forward, pulled back in her surprise. "Rose, your experiences with Trolls in general only amounts to two months. You can't expect to have mastered the quadrants. That’s all I've meant."

Rose looked into her lap. "I won't deny that. But then, all the more important… to…" Rose tried to regain her composure. Professional. Netural. "I realize it is hardly your responsibility to keep me abreast of my cultural misassumptions, even if you have filled that role in the past. But I would hope, as my matesprit, you would tell me if there was something w-wrong." Rose swallowed in hopes of clearing the break in her voice. "Because otherwise I'll simply continue out of sheer ignorance, and I cannot…"

Kanaya reached out and touched Rose's arm. "Rose, if something were the matter, I'd like to think I'd have told you. You are an excellent girlfriend."

"You'd have told me?" Rose shook her head. "Considering the genesis of our relationship, and how we simply refused to talk to one another, I'm not sure I could trust myself… When was the last time you called me your girlfriend? Not your matesprit." she asked. Kanaya shrugged, trying to dismiss the comment. "You said it just now, after saying we're having quadrant problems."

"I never said we were having quadrant problems," Kanaya repeated, with a glare.

Rose realized that technically, she was right, but it was not near enough to tie down her angry tongue. "One Freudian slip deserves another."

Kanaya was aware of the term, was appropriately cross. "Do _you_ think we're having problems? Because I'd like to know if we were as much as you seem to. In spite of your strange desire to knit problems from whole thread, I would've said that we weren't having any problems at all. I am quite satisfied with our situation."

"Our 'girlfriend' situation," Rose said without additional comment.

"Perhaps the label is more accurate!" Kanaya snapped. But then she was caught, and Rose knew it as well as she did. She sighed. "…Rose, let me explain." Rose was not meeting her eyes, but nodded. "…We both care about one another. Yes?"

"Certainly," Rose said, more aggressive than she would have liked.

Kanaya sat back up. "Attracted to one another?"

Rose did not hesitate to answer: Kanaya was still alluring in her dress, as ever, though the radiance of her earlier smiles had been dried away. "Definitely, for my part."

Kanaya smoothed her dress below the desk, as though bracing herself before meeting Rose's eyes. She pursed her lips, and it seemed to take her a moment to force out the next question. "Do you pity me?"

 _…Oh. Oh dear._ The weight of the previous two conversations suddenly pressed on this third in Rose's head. Kanaya hardly needed to fill in the blanks.

"Because I think you do not," Kanaya said, businesslike. It was clear her patience with Rose's indignation had expired, and she was prepared to be blunt. "Nor do I pity you, by and large. Indeed, I think you will find it a compliment that I think of you with admiration."

Rose was still at a loss for words. "You… don't pity me?" She had thought the feelings, like the relationships, were analogous, but Kanaya was being quite clear. How long had Rose been hiding the fact from herself? Any attempt Rose might have harboured to further muddle the information died when she learned that Gamzee might take his violent assault as a sexual advance. Hate and pity.

"I've always admired you," Kanaya said instead. "I did, and do pity you considering your situation with the Horrorterror. But spending time with you during our—friendship. You were always very caring and attentive, and certainly had no pity for me. I… didn't know what to do." Kanaya clutched her shoulder. "I spoke to Karkat, after you and I had our confusing moment. He had always been more open to Human ideas than I'm afraid I had. He pointed out your progress with Tavros, Vriska and Eridan, and suggested that perhaps I should try the same."

Rose's mind was strained, between what Kanaya was saying and the new ideas streaming past old barriers. "You asked me to be your girlfriend. Not your matesprit." Her hand wanted to trace to the cheek Kanaya had kissed that morning. "I didn't understand."

"I admit to a certain amount of fault in perpetuating the misconception," Kanaya said. "Moments later, in fact. But I was so happy. Have been. So happy." She smiled, though Rose's response must have been a mass of confusion, as it faded. "I admit, the road has not been entirely smooth. Your choice of, say, compliments has sometimes been confusing. Or ineffective. But you make your affections clear. Sometimes they match up with a pitying or pitied compliment, and I'm coming to like the new ones. I have had no reason or want to complain."

"B-but… no!" Rose stood up. _Why hadn't she_ said _anything?_ Rose's lingering anger with Vriska made it impossible for her to be as upset about this news as she wanted. Her… girlfriend had buried all of this away, and Rose wanted to set it right, but she did not know what to do or say. Even though she realized how pitiful the whole situation struck, Rose could not imagine how to turn it into... praise? Her mind rallied against her urge to speak. "P-please," she said, clutching her temples. "Just a moment." Kanaya nodded.

Rose desperately tried to sort through her new facts. In hopes of focusing, she thought of the only matesprit pairs she knew. There was Eridan, stumbling over himself to explain how he would make things up to Tavros, just before their first kiss. Feferi had said her crush on Aradia and Equius had only begun after she had heard about Sollux and Aradia's lost relationship, after Aradia had started to come back from her pitiable Ghost life as a thrall of the Horrorterrors. True, she had settled in hate, but that had been its genesis. Also true, the Trolls did pay one another compliments from time to time. Definitely. But their enthusiasm to patch the other's pitiful problems was notable. Sollux's extremes to help Feferi with her problems. Terezi and Karkat's relationship, despite all the sharp, pointy rocks that had come before, only shattered when he refused to come to her after she had lost Dave. They were all comparable to Human problems, but a pattern was beginning to tell. And aid and improvement was the only facet of pity Rose could guess at. What else had she missed, had Jade missed with Nepeta, had Dave missed with Terezi?

Had Rose ever so much as paid Kanaya the kind of compliment she would have wanted from a Troll? The reverse might be true. Kanaya had been there for her after she had attacked Gamzee, like a good girlfriend but a better matesprit. She had clung to Rose, every step of the way, desperately defending her against the others when she had attacked Gamzee. She had set it all right. The Trolls had calmed down, because of her. And Rose had thanked her, and their mutual response had been… enthusiastic. That made Rose feel worse. She looked up at Kanaya, who had been poking at her food so not to disturb. Their time together in Rose's bedroom, in fact several of the times since, had come as somewhat off. Had it been the lack of pity? Or something else?

"I'm so sorry," Rose said. "But I didn't understand. I don't."

"Why I didn't tell you?" Kanaya asked.

"No," Rose said. Hadn't they had enough hesitating moments in their relationship for them to forgive any new ones? For that sort of damnable mud to be just as clear as ever? "I don't understand the pity. I can't… how is this supposed to work? Do I focus on only your flaws?"

"N-no, not entirely," Kanaya said, but Rose cut her off before she could say more.

"I certainly don't perpetuate them," Rose said. She thought of Tavros and Eridan, and Tavros' compliment about Eridan's universally loathed enthusiasm. The happy memory seemed corrupted now, and her anger began to spill through. "Should I search your personality up and down until I find some loose thread I find endearing that others would think of as negative? Do I ignore your pros and… fawn and coo over your flaws? Do I never say another word about your dresses and spill encouragement onto your… your…" Rose stopped outright. She knew exactly which skills Kanaya felt needed improvement. She had made the pause to pretend Kanaya was just _so_ good at her work that she had to scrape to find a flaw. Hardly pitying in the slightest. Rose let her inner Karkat screech obscenities at her. She felt she deserved far worse.

"Rose," Kanaya insisted, "you don't have to do anything because I don't care!" She was angry too.

"But we shouldn't be like this!" Rose said. The word "care" was bouncing in her ears. It was suddenly wrong. "I thought we were…" Friends, matesprits, girlfriends… "…partners! We're supposed to be level! You've put yourself through all of this." Rose balanced two hands and lowered one. "When I want you… to be… next to me." There was a pregnant silence, during which they both realized Rose had accidentally said something pitying and neither of them knew what to do with it.

Finally, Kanaya stood up, and stepped toward Rose, taking her by the shoulders. Rose felt a rush of guilty warmth and could not do it. She turned away, so that she would not have to look Kanaya in the eye. Kanaya replaced her hands, and Rose let her.

"How did I miss this?" Rose said. She prided herself on her intelligence. "I'm the worst matesprit in the world."

"Not so," Kanaya said. Her voice had calmed, and was a whisper in Rose's ear. Rose reached up to take one of Kanaya's hands to wrap her closer. "As the most objective person in the room to say so, the worst matesprit still alive is Karkat after that little debacle with Terezi. In spite of all his efforts."

That was pitying. The fondness in Kanaya's voice for her moirail was evident, warm. Rose knew Kanaya was probably re-priming her old auspistice muscles to advise Karkat into three more healthy relationships the split second he showed interest. And by putting him down, Kanaya had lifted Rose up. Kanaya's affections for her were even more evident, certainly more warm. Rose could never even imagine pulling off that sort of double-compliment/insult-reacharound. "I just don't… understand." Rose repeated. "You care for him, you're trying to fix his anger issues. You care for me, because…" Kanaya kissed the back of her neck, brushing aside the earring with her cheek, sending chills up Rose's spine. "Because I'm imperfect?"

"Flawed is certainly beautiful," Kanaya said, "but that's hardly the full picture. But does it matter?" Kanaya had noticed her kisses were having an effect. The earring had left Rose's skin cold: Kanaya set it aside and kissed the spot warm again. "We certainly have the freedom to proceed as we please."

"The full picture…" _You pity Karkat's rage. You would pity my flaws. You would have me hate Vriska and Eridan's rage. You thought I hated Gamzee…_

Rose reached up to stop Kanaya. "…You used to pity Vriska's anger." Kanaya nodded against her. "Now you want me to hate her." Kanaya stalled. "…You hated your friends. The ones you were auspisticing." Kanaya loosened her grip, and Rose turned. "You killed them." Kanaya had not been there when they had had this conversation. The shock in her eyes was evident. "…Why?"

"Rose…"

"It's the job of an auspistice to keep a kismesis from collapsing to murder. But _you_ killed them." Rose said. Rose's mind ran hot. She had it. She understood, and it rolled through her like a virulent rot. "Why?"

"Rose, we've been _over_ this!" Kanaya protested. "We broke up, but I still hated them and… I didn't expect you to understand, but I thought you had—"

"Because there's no middle ground! Is there?" The words flowed so freely, straight from the epiphany. Rose could barely get them out fast enough. "I thought I had understood why you had done it. I was trying to make my peace with it, and now I find it's rooted in this emotionless deathtrap your society's set up? Isn't it?"

Kanaya could not follow Rose, and was about to make it clear that she did not when Rose interrupted her. "The quadrants span hate and… and pity! Is that honestly your species' emotional range?" Rose clutched to her temples. "I hadn't noticed because I just filed it away as another bout of Karkat's machismo! Maybe I didn't want to believe it! I thought you were _better_ than this! But if you have nothing between violent judgement and pity… you don't even come close to 'like!'" It was Kanaya's turn to be at a loss of words, and Rose took immediate advantage. "And the people in between. That's why your friends had to die, wasn't it? Because there is no middle ground. Tell me I'm wrong." Kanaya was too shocked to do anything of the sort. Rose changed angles. "You said you care about me. Okay." Rose crossed her arms. "Do you care about anyone else?" Kanaya was clearly astonished by the question. "Karkat?"

"Of course!" She looked offended even to be asked.

Rose lowered her eyes. "Vriska?" Kanaya shied away at that, but that was expected. "What about the rest? If someone else on this rock was suffering, or died, would you be upset? If I lost control of… not Vriska, not with your history. Eridan! If I lost control of Eridan and he attacked someone, _killed_ someone, would you bat an eye?"

Kanaya took a step away from her. "Of course I would! Rose, how could you say that?"

"You'd be upset at him?" Rose asked, sharp and ready. "Maybe pitying him, if he killed… say, Feferi and just realized what he did?"

Kanaya set her lips. "I am not going to answer your leading questions, Rose. I thought you respected me enough to dissuade with the relentless verbal sneak attacks. You know I would be furious at your hypothetical Eridan. But right now I'm too angry with you!"

"But what about Feferi?" Rose whispered, more than loud enough to be heard. "Would you care? Or would you just deal with Eridan?" Rose's fists shook with the revelation. "Kill him, jail him, get Gamzee to pat his back until he stops blowing people's heads off like a… rampage is just another Troll 'thing?'"

Kanaya stung with hurt, but Rose could not help but feel triumph under her own pain. Kanaya wasn't to blame, but it felt like she had just pushed back against the smothering tide of Vriska, Eridan and Rose's own guilt over Gamzee. "I can't believe this!" Kanaya said, shaking. "I can't believe _you_! I thought you understood more than this! You know we wouldn't let someone just get away with that. You know—"

Rose cut in. "You just said—"

"We're not Imperial Trolls!" Kanaya shouted. "These people are our allies, and what we do with our dead is not your concern, if this is the way you're going to behave!" She rubbed at her eyes, smudging of her makeup. "Do you really think that this horror story of yours would settle into some kind of blind end? You're acting like we'd pretend nothing ever happened! Is that what you think? That we'd do nothing just because we understand violence better than you do?" That hurt. It hurt, even though Rose would have sworn by the Horrorterrors that she never wanted to know another thing about violence. "Everyone in here means a great deal to all of us!"

Rose was not finished, and she glowered back. "What about my friends?" she said. "They're not your allies."

Kanaya choked back tears. "Rose!"

Rose swung an arm to cut her off. "And not just for my sake, because I swear—"

"Stop it!" Kanaya shouted. "Stop it right now!" She had started crying openly, and covered her mouth to muffle sobs. "What is the _matter_ with you?" she hissed, in voice and hidden voice. "We _promised_. We promised we would be neutral on things like this. In the name of… mutual understanding." She sniffed, and glared up at Rose out of the corner of her eye. "I feel. I _care_. How dare you? I am not going to stand here and be judged by someone who can't begin to understand!"

"Oh, I understand!" Rose shouted. "I understand that I shouldn't have forgiven for your _murders_ out-of-hand! I understand that I should have thrown Eridan and Vriska out as soon as they asked me to be a part of this monstrous farce you call a society! I understand…"

Rose could not remember when she had last been this mad. In her youth, everything had been circumvented with a sarcastic twist or a passive-aggressive jab. Kanaya had undermined that. Rose had let her in, and all of her defences had been undone. Now, Kanaya bristled with every one of Rose's rejections, but did not react. Watching her, Rose realized the fight had past any point of restitution. Rose stopped herself hard before she started her next argument—next attack—her breath shaking on the edge of tears. Kanaya looked at her in confusion, anger, and pity. And that hurt the worst of all. If she had been any closer, Rose might have pulled her close, but the gap between them was far too large.

"I can't," Rose said to answer Kanaya's look. The strength was gone from her voice, and her body. She slid to the ground until she sat on the wooden, despite her beautiful dress. Everything she had said began to filter back to her, and Rose knew they stung nowhere near as hard as they had Kanaya. Quietly, Kanaya sat down across from her.

"I can't do this," Rose said. Kanaya looked to the ground, and Rose realized that "I can't do this," could have thousands of interpretations. She picked it up. "…I can't pity you, Kanaya. I-I just… that's not how I feel! I felt more at home with the idea of hate-wanting Gamzee. I can't sit here and pretend you're not a good person! It's not righ— It's not fair to you. I don't think." Kanaya frowned. "But y-you…"

Kanaya did not meet her eyes this time. "Rose, I said I was happy, being your girlfriend. That you would resent that never crossed my mind." She made a fist, and struck her knee. "But this…!"

Rose felt a ghosting on her back: the back that was facing a wall. Kanaya's anger, so well composed, was slipping. Once again, more with determination than by accident, Kanaya was hunting her. Rose hung her head, but despite her rage, Kanaya said nothing more. They simply sat, in silence. Rose finally found the courage to break it. "But don't you want more?" she asked. "I should be something you _want_ , Kanaya. You shouldn't be someone _I_ want, you already are! Isn't there something I could do? You've done so much. I haven't even _tried_."

Kanaya raised her eyes, which were stiff with dried tears and a focused, fading anger. She scooted forward, as best she could in her dress, until she sat alongside Rose, facing her. She cupped Rose's face. "We never said this would be easy. Sometimes… it can take time." She blinked and another tear slipped out. Rose reached up, to brush it away, but Kanaya stopped her, to do so herself. She shook her head. "Oh my Rose," she said, "Look at you. I wish you understood."

Rose stammered, her lower lip shaking, but before she could say another word, Kanaya leaned forward and kissed her. Despite it all, Kanaya lingered, and Rose's emotions were tossed into a wave of confusion and guilt. When Kanaya pulled back, Rose could not but chase after her. She never found her. The taste and warmth was still hot on her mouth. Under it all was a bitter-smooth taste that Rose could only ascribe to Kanaya herself, one last Troll Thing. Kanaya pulled away, her face resigned and sad, and Rose realized a tear had slipped past her own guard. She was just cognizant enough to hear Kanaya whisper: "We'll pick this up in the morning. I'm not… I mean, if you want."

Rose nodded, and they clutched one another's hands for a moment before Kanaya stood. Rose put a gentle hand on the hem of her dress. "Kan," she whispered. "We…" Rose coughed. It was hard to speak above a whisper. "We Humans have a saying…" She rubbed at her eye. "To... to never go to bed angry."

Kanaya smiled back. She was ever so beautiful, in her dress. "...We don't."

She disappeared into her bedroom.

* * *

Rose lingered for a while, perhaps hoping that Kanaya would come back, but did not want to make her feel awkward when she did not. She got up to leave at last, after the lights began to brighten for the Troll's sleep cycle. Rose stood, her legs protesting the movement with riots, and slipped into the lobby. There, she changed into her old clothes and replaced the dress Kanaya had made in her sylladex with unusual dignity. Rose then headed into the tunnels, going as fast as she could stand, until it all finally caught up to her and she broke down, somewhere between Sollux and Karkat's sections, to cry.

Where had the night gone wrong? It made Rose bitter to know that the problems all fell before the date had even been planned. It seemed foolish to think that she and Kanaya might have shared a more pleasant night with different choice of conversation, if it would just mean the same trouble a day or two down the road. She was almost afraid to get back up. She didn't want to go to bed, because tomorrow would be worse. Tomorrow she would have to talk to Kanaya again, and she just knew she would not be ready for her. Tomorrow she would have to talk to Vriska, and to Eridan, and then together. Perhaps to Tavros? And then, last of all, Gamzee. She wished more than ever that she already had talked to Gamzee, that that was all wiped up. She needed someone to talk to. She could not bring this to Dave. Not to Jade, her advice would be uplifting but useless. And John was a fool in matters of the heart. No. Rose did not want to get up at all.

"And then Vriska will get you all killed, won't she, Rose darling?"

Rose ceased to breathe, ceased to think, though her mind screamed for a response.

"Because she _hates_ you. It doesn't matter what you say."

Rose reached over and pinched her arm. Nothing. She looked at her lap, and screwed up her face. How had she allowed herself to fall to sleep in the open? How had she been so stupid? She struggled for only a moment before she was distracted by a soft _click_. Slowly, she opened her eyes, to find that she was still in the access hall. Sure turned, and saw that a glass had been set beside her: a martini glass, made of smoke.

"I heard you were looking for relationship help," said her mother. She was using her two free hands to carry a stack of exactly seventeen books. Considering the martini glass, she had made it all this way with only one hand. She, and the books, were all made of smoke.

Rose responded out of reflex. "Oh certainly. Your extensive career as a single woman will be most helpful." Then she stopped. "Wait. No. You're 'Sloth,'" Rose remembered. "I don't want to talk to you. I know I'm being slothful, thank you. I know I need to talk to Gamzee. You don’t need to rub it in." She had not seen Sloth in some time. Except this was different. When she had last met Sloth, or any of the seven sin aspects of the God, they were full-bodied and full-coloured, not like this smoke creation. And this one spoke… differently. Drunkenly. This vision sounded like her mother.

Whatever it was, it ignored her. She hefted the books to indicate them. "The first four of these are about safe sex. Condoms. Birth control pills. IUDs are expensive but certainly you want to be safe at thirteen. The next is about good date locations for tourists in the Adirondacks, since I doubt you're gong to find many good traditional date locations to take young men. The next four are about sports, and two about video games, because it always pays to have common interests with the young men, Rose darling. And… oh! Pardon me, _five_ about safe sex. This one is an abstinence book, since I didn't want to block your options. It's about the horrors of raising children at your age. And, oh yes! Last of all: one, and exactly one, book about coming out to your family."

This book was tossed to her, and evaporated into true smoke in her lap. "By all means, at your leisure," said her mother. "You and I have all the time in the world to discuss these things, don't we?"

That cut far too close. "Go _away_ ," Rose whimpered. She no more wanted to get up now than before. "You're not my mother, and you have _no right_ —"

"Oh, Rose. That's not me."

Rose's mother did not respond, but Rose did. The voice had come from behind, like the Vriska and Eridan's hunting undercurrent. She slowly turned her head, and saw that a passage had opened behind her. There stood the tall, powerful black man she had seen in the previous vision. Rose shook her head at him. "I don't care what you say," she said. "You cheat. You can certainly be in two places at once. That's you." But the smoke-mother was so precise to her mother. So perfect, in all her infuriating flaws.

"I assure you, Rose darling. That is not me. True, in our early games, I tasked you on seven deadly sins. But now…"

He looked to the smoke woman, and Rose could not help but follow his gaze. Her mother stared down at her, eyebrow cocked. To Rose, it looked exactly like how she would expect her mother to look if she were trying to puzzle out why her daughter was ignoring her and talking to an invisible god. Perfect. The god continued.

"Now your mother is just your mother. Dave's brother is just his brother."

All at once, the ghost vanished, and Rose felt a strange, genuine pang in her heart. It hurt, as it cut across the same scar in her heart that had once caused her to make drastic measures. It was the pain she had felt that had turned her to Doc Scratch and then, blind, to the God of a Thousand Faces.

"It was important to play St. Gregory for a time, when you were arrogant. But now the game has changed and you, Rose darling, have grown."

He was before her.

"Haven't you?"

Rose pulled from him, but as she cowered, something changed. Her mind, still dwelling on her mother, began to grow an independent thought. A part of Rose was loose from his reigns. "What do you mean, 'when' I was arrogant?" she said. She had been meant to notice the word, certainly. But subconsciously, not consciously, like a bomb set for some later hour. He smiled, and slowly, he reached for his belt and drew a long bent scimitar from thin air. He held it aloft for a moment, and then he changed, in the manner of dreams, and was the Empress with her trident. Rose was aware of it all. Before, the dreams had hidden those details. The lack of movement. The transformations. Rose looked at the trident, and realized this demon-Empress carried the same trident as Feferi. Once, Rose had been unable to make these sorts of connections. What had changed? The Empress lowered the trident's point to Rose's gut, and though her body protested, she could not move.

"Rose."

She looked up at the Empress' beautiful face.

" _Time to play._ "

Rose woke with a start and clasped her hand to her gut. She found she had slipped from sitting and onto the ground – quickly, she righted herself and stood. Once she was sure she was alone, Rose wrenched the skin of her arm just to be doubly sure she was awake. Only then did she check her stomach. There was indeed a tiny pinprick of a hole there. She had bled only a few drops of blood onto her white shirt, just aside the scarred Squiddle emblem.

Calm, Rose pressed the shirt tight to the wound and began to look around. There, on the ground next to where she had fallen in her sleep was a bent panel with a sharp edge. She must have rolled onto it as she slept. As she examined the metal, she heard a nearby machine _click_ , which made her jump. That explained the martini glass. Her dream had introduced elements to compensate for the real world around her.

Rose began to fish through her sylladex for her antidote candy, just in case. She found one and popped it into her mouth, and began to suck on the candy. She waited, and calmed, and began to think. Slowly, the chaos in her mind began to clear. Slower still, she lowered herself back to the ground, and began to stare off into space.

As her mind cleared, Rose remembered both of her encounters: with Kanaya, and the Horrorterror. Her new rage mingled with her former sorrow, until they reached a perfect balance. Rose wiped her eyes and nose. Once cleaned, she became a picture of perfect focus. She clenched her knees, she then took off her headband and shook out her hair, and she reached into her mind and clutched that rage, and that sorrow, and wielded them together.

"... _No more,_ " Rose said aloud.

Nothing answered. She was alone, in an abandoned hall, built from nothing, for no one. There was no one to hear her voice ring clear, no one to see her lips set or to sense the fear leave her behind. "I want to tell you a story," she said. The world listened.

Rose's voice was soft, but as she told her story, it took on an eerie sort of confidence. Her opponent could not respond, and that made it stronger. "When I was very young," Rose said to the hall, "I had a reoccurring nightmare, about drowning. There was a reason for it. In real life, I had been swimming by the beach when a rip tide hit me. A life guard somehow get me out. I was four… didn't quite remember it, so to speak. One day, when I was six, my nightmare started. I would go into the water, and I would drown. Except it wasn't a rip tide in the dream. Maybe you already know?" She reached up a finger, and wrapped it about an invisible shape, and turned. "Seaweed. Around my leg." She glared at the opposite wall. "…'Seaweed.'" She yanked down with her hand, as though clutching her childhood leg.

"And then I would try to wake up, but I couldn't. Because in the real world, I had rolled onto my belly. My face was in my pillow. I was actually suffocating." She cupped a hand over her face, her mouth and nose. "And my dream was reacting, like it did with you. It was giving me pictures to explain my situation. The only thing it knew was that I couldn't breathe, and it gave me a picture to tell me why: drowning. Every night, for a week. I must have been sleeping odd, don't you think?" The air was stale in her hand. There was only the gap around her hand to let in air, and she took shallow breaths. "I never told my mother about the pillow. I didn't want to worry her. I told her about the dream. Being my mother, she bought me water wings."

Rose smiled, for a moment, which let in a whisp of fresh air. "I didn't know her any better yet. I thought it would work. I set them in a chair, beside my bed, before I went to sleep. Very neat. Proud of myself. And in my dream, I saw the beach, and I turned away and began to walk. And I came to my house, as though it were by the beach, and found my water-wings. And I put them on, and nothing could drown me." She took away her hand, and balled it to a fist. "I woke up in the morning, on my side."

She reached into her sylladex and took out one of the Quills. She held it loose, such that it tipped point-down between her fingers. "I've tried to set water-wings against you, but you showed me well how that works. You just use my weapons against me, and my friends."

Something occurred to Rose. She nodded in agreement with her own mind, which continued to clear. "You knew how I'd screw up these past few days, didn't you? With Vriska, and Eridan… and Kanaya. So you had me attack Gamzee: the person who had helping everyone else!" She dropped the Quill, and it soundly embedded itself in the floor.

"And that brings me to the second part of my story." Rose straightened. She should have been exhausted, but she felt more awake than she had all day. "I _learned_ to swim. You want to change the game? Bring my mother into this? If you change the rules, your opponent is going to change them too."

Rose pointed a challenge where the Empress had stood. "…So now I talk, and you listen. Because it's over. I am going to take this fight to you."

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The young ladies are wearing dresses and jewellery that match their in-another-universe God Tier colours, save the tanzanite in Rose's earrings, which remain as a touch of darkness.
> 
> "True hate preserves." – Kanaya is quoting _[The Tale of the Bowyer](http://archiveofourown.org/works/237651)_ , but like most famous sayings, she has no conscious idea of where it came from. This is partially because, like many famous sayings, it's not even the focus of the work, so who knows how it caught on? She's probably read the story, but wouldn’t realize that was the quote's birthplace.
> 
> Did anyone else suspect that Dave in A Hand in Holding Hands is a dreamself, like Sollux and Vriska? It's sort of how he's been flying around in the fights with Jack all this time. That wasn't set in stone or anything, but it is the most reasonable answer, and it's what I'm going with. [You may have seen this comment attached to The Dargon Arc, because I once had Rose explaining it there for a draft. Whoops!]
> 
> This was originally the first half of the End of Act, but it looks like we're going to be delayed even further. If you've stuck with me, and Andrew, this long, I hope you can tolerate one last _lurch_. It'll be worth it. Just wait and see.


	24. Recap?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poll's closed, folks!

[An empty stage. A single spotlight clacks on and KARKAT approaches.]

KARKAT: Okay, listen up. The sphincter-godhead in charge of this assembly is using me as a meat puppet again and I'd appreciate if you all just listen so I can go back to what I was doing.

TEREZI [offstage]: He was reading trashy novels!

KARKAT: I was… those are classic literature! Proles. [he spits] Listen! What's-their-name, SewageRemover? In the byline? Whatever the name is. LOOK. The person in charge wants your opinions. Apparently they screwed the pooch on this next chapter by mis-writing stuff all throughout the rest of the fic like some kind of Where's Troll Waldo of poor writing.

[Terezi pokes her head on-camera.]

TEREZI: He's right behind you.

KARKAT: It's true. That's what you're supposed to talk away from those books. But back on topic. Because of this series of flaws, SR is considering Scratching The Fic, which I'm told means stopping this draft where it is and writing a second draft. This is a call for thoughts on the matter, whether it makes sense to start over, whether you'd care, love it or hate it, or whatever.

TEREZI: Details are here.

[The words "Vote's Over, Folks" appear below them.]

TEREZI: If you've got an MSPA Forum account, you should vote in the poll. Otherwise, leave your comments there or here. Don't worry about the comment count. We're honest about our stats here, so we're probably going to delete the chapter in the end anyways.

KARKAT: [stares at the subtitle] How the hell are you doing that?

TEREZI: I control the editing room! [wiggles her fingers at him] Ooooooh!

KARKAT: Look, the point is, leave your opinion, the author would really appreciate. Now, to make sure this post is more than just a news post and we don't get in trouble with AO3, we've attached a scene from the next recap, which might not be happening because, you know—

TEREZI: Second draft.

KARKAT: Yeah. It's set right after I threw Gamzee at her to avoid doing another recap of my own.

TEREZI: Literally threw. He was in traction for days.

KARKAT: He was fine! Anyway, it's filled with more up-to-date internet references for everyone that doesn't enjoy being chased by cosplayers in white face paint. [Terezi grins] Later, folks.

[Fade out]

 

* * *

 

[Classical music. A narrator we have never heard reads a title card:]

Narrator: And now… "Juggalo Reviews, with Gamzee M. Makara"

Narrator: Today's episode… "A Hand in Holding Hands".

[GAMZEE appears in an empty room, his makeup slightly askew and apparently wearing Nepeta's not-The Cheat-sprayed ratty coat. After a brief, serene pause, he bursts into motion, mugging the camera. Gaps in dialogue represent jump cuts.]

GAMZEE: [Oh mY GoD, tHiS Is tHe gReAtEsT ThInG I'Ve eVeR ReAd iN My lIfE!](http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/bum-reviews)

GAMZEE: There's these Trolls…

GAMZEE: Called… uh…

GAMZEE: Trolls.

GAMZEE: And they don't have any friends!

GAMZEE: [nods] Because they murdered them.

GAMZEE: HoOrAy!

GAMZEE: And one day, one of the Trolls, named "Vriska," tries to kill her best friend!

GAMZEE: Which she doesn't have.

GAMZEE: [nods] Because she murdered him.

GAMZEE: …No, wait.

GAMZEE: But this girl named Rose stops them! And the friend's boyfriend called "Eridan" says:

GAMZEE: "wwe should be auspi—"

GAMZEE: Auspit

GAMZEE: Absplitistis…

GAMZEE: lustus…

GAMZEE: …asbestos…

GAMZEE: [absolutely certain:] Snufflupaguses.

GAMZEE: And Rose says "No."

GAMZEE: And he says "Yes."

GAMZEE: "No."

GAMZEE: "Yes!"

GAMZEE: "Oh all right."

GAMZEE: But Rose has relationship problems with another Troll called "Kanaya".

GAMZEE: …But then they don't!

GAMZEE: And they have long, vigorous, make out sessions on Rose's bed…

GAMZEE: …in the dark.

GAMZEE: [ear-to-ear grin] They're thirteen.

GAMZEE: [shakes head] You should be ashamed.

GAMZEE: [jumps forward] But there's also an evil demon!

[GAMZEE holds fingers above his head like horns, almost obscured by his actual horns.]

GAMZEE: And he's like:

GAMZEE: "I'm here to get you to murder your friends."

GAMZEE: "No. Also, isn't that a strange plot development in a romance?"

GAMZEE: "I'm sure it's leading somewhere."

GAMZEE: "We can only hope."

GAMZEE: So he's like: "Well maybe I'll get Gamzee to murder your friends!" And Gamzee's like…

GAMZEE: [GAMZEE stares glassy-eyed at the camera for a full fifteen seconds. Drool pools at one corner of his mouth.]

GAMZEE: [As the Horrorterror again.] "Excellent."

GAMZEE: But then Vriska comes back and says "I changed my mind! I want you to be my snuffleupagus!"

GAMZEE: I wAs a sNuFfLeUpAgUs oNcE!

GAMZEE: [hangs his head] That brings me back to a dark time…

GAMZEE: So Rose says:

GAMZEE: "My girlfriend just tried to kill you!"

GAMZEE: And Vriska says:

GAMZEE: [shrugs]

GAMZEE: "Okay then, we can totally be snuffle-auspitices."

GAMZEE: But then Vriska says:

GAMZEE: "I have a thinly veiled evil plan!"

GAMZEE: And Harry Potter says: "Oh."

GAMZEE: "But it involves making out with you first."

GAMZEE: "And I am okay with that."

GAMZEE: And then there's an intermission!

GAMZEE: [nods] For thirty-thousand words.

GAMZEE: About the Squiddles!

GAMZEE: That has nothing to do with anything.

GAMZEE: [philosophical] Or is a thinly veiled metaphor for upcoming conflicts in the main story…

GAMZEE: …like the inherent dangers of a violent relationship…

GAMZEE: [pacing] …or the challenge of any relationship between two cultures with diametrically opposed value systems…

GAMZEE: …counterbalanced against the reward of a successful relationship…

GAMZEE: And it got me to thinking…

GAMZEE: [hand on chin] "…Wait a minute. I can't read."

GAMZEE: …

[GAMZEE's look becomes speculative for a moment, then confused, and then he walks off to the side.]

[OUTRO: Classical music.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Change? You got change? Oh, c'mon, help a guy out, Karkat's charging for the alchemiter! We snuffleupauspistices need our wicked elixir!"


End file.
